Looking beyond grades

Today, Kai got his PSLE results. Sito and I went to the concert hall for some videos of the past six years and results analysis while he went to a designated classroom to get his results to share with us.

English: AL 5

Chinese: AL 3

Maths: AL 3

Science: AL 4

Total: 15

I'll be lying if I say we're not disappointed. He has fallen short for maths and science. We're surprised at his Chinese - a 3 and better than English?! He had regular tuition for Chinese, and clash courses for English and Science.

Kai said he has put in his best effort. While he was expecting 12-14, he is happy with 15 coz "it's just 3 points lower". And it's better than prelims.

But he did not beat Sito or me - we would love nothing better than to be beaten by our own kids! 

Sito also did some research and figured 15 put him at about the top 30th percentile, which means he would barely make it to the big three local universities if he continued on this trajectory. 

So we have to look beyond grades - to secondary school tuition!!!

I'm being practical here. He needs help so we should give him help. I'm being honest too - we recognise his English really needs help. Like, really.

I recall one bewildering moment in my youth when I, with my bulging waist straining my top and pants, heard this girl say to my face that she was fat, with her slim silhouette and not a hair out of place.

Similarly, some parents think their kids' results are dismal. AL 2 instead of AL 1? Please...

Of course there are poorer grades but seriously, I wouldn't harp on it if my kids are already at AL2 level. 

Anyway, I always believe in looking forward. No need to brood on the past. Learn from the past, but look forward. 

We have always known that his English has much room for improvement. He doesn't read much since young. In the past year, we made him read proper novels suitable for his age. He reads at the rate of one book every three to six weeks. As comparison, I finished the seven books in the Clifton Chronicles by Jeffrey Archer in 13 days in April; maybe double that time if I were a student.

Language takes time to master. Tuition has the power to give short-term gains, but for long-term gains, he really needs to read more. 

We made it clear to him that his best now put him at an average level. As we believe that he has the potential to do better, we will help him to prepare for the next milestone - yes, by sending him for tuition :p

This afternoon, we submitted secondary school choices already. Only filled in four of the six options as there are no other nearby schools for his grades. 

He won't have chess as CCA as (1) few schools offer this apparently, and (2) he couldn't get in those schools. So we've got him to start looking at other CCAs, and we'll probably look at how to continue his interest in chess outside the school.

We have celebrated his efforts with Captain Kim BBQ right after PSLE. His primary school graduating / secondary school entry gift will be a new phone with a SIM card - to be gifted later in December.

For now, here's one for the memories

I"m glad he chose to wear his shirt instead of the yellow tee for this last time of wearing his primary school uniform. So handsome!

Act cute not cute?

No leh, still cute. But I'm not telling him! :p

So I have one manly, one sweet, one cute :) Let's see how they change in the next few years or even months...

Yu likes to act like a baby. Maybe coz he's the youngest. Or the smallest in size - he roots for 周深 in the Chinese Running Man coz he has the smallest built of them all :)

He likes to sit on me, nua on me, nibble on my elbows and arms. I have to admit it can be irritating when I'm trying to read or watch TV but it's also super heartwarming! Somehow he likes to nibble on me. he said coz I'm fluffy...??! 

During our spelling practices, I always ask him to explain the word or use it. This is how he does it:

1. I feel *great* because I ate mama. (And he’ll try to bite my arm. )
2. I’m *ready* to eat mama. (“)
3. I *nodded* bacause someone asked if I wanted to eat mama. (“)
4. I have a *project* and it’s about eating mama. (“)

You get the idea... This happens for every spelling practice. He can always spin some tale about me as his food.

In fact, he can always tell stories. Once at bedtime, he gave a long long story after I asked him something about school, and it ended with the end of the world, and his point was that I shouldn’t ask that question *.* I tried another question and it similarly ended in some apocalypse with the same moral of the story…

While his brothers seldom say cute things anymore, he still says some funny things.. Some time in October, Yang and Yu had Papa tell them stories at bedtime. One was about Robin Hood who robbed the rich to help the poor. Yu’s immediate response: that’s good, and not so good. How insightful!

Actually, Yu is more than cute. Of the three, he's the one who sometimes thinks quite a bit...

Sito went to fetch Yu on 30 Sep as Kai came home early from PSLE and Yang had HBL. On the bus home, Yu suddenly told Papa that it was so easy to make friends in kindy but so hard in primary school.

Concerned, I probed him for more during bedtime. I think it was more about being able to play more with his friends in kindy. After morning lessons, they usually spent the whole afternoon playing or doing various activities together. Plenty of talking and laughing and even running about.

But in primary school, they have to sit at their desks. Seats are assigned so you don't get to talk to more than a couple of friends. Recess is too short - must eat before they could play. 

Sometimes, it's nice to sit next to him and look at his double chin him

Coz he likes to eat the fatty parts of his usual steak, he says :p

Anyway...

Then last Saturday, he asked me while walking in Bishan MRT station, why he was the odd one out. When I probed, he said he's left-handed but wants to be like the rest of us. Awww... Well, it's true no one else in the family and even extended family (as far as we know) is left-handed. So I told him maybe one of our ancestors... But that being quite far off, I tried JY instead - she and her eldest son are both left-handed. He looked happier.

Yu can also be quite a go-getter. 

Last week, we received news via Parents Gateway that he has been offered higher Chinese. I clarified with his teacher that he was recommended for it, i.e. the message was not a blast to all given that MOE is now more relaxed about higher mother tongue entry requirements.

To be honest, I'm not super keen. Our kids aren't superb in Chinese, nor do they have strong interest in the language/culture. And they don't need higher Chinese coz no need to apply to SAP school! But we decided to let Yu choose for himself.

We informed him of this invitation over lunch. He thought for a short while and decided he would go for it. His reason? So he would do well in Chinese, get better grades and ask Papa to buy him Robux.

!!!

I made it very clear to him that although there is no assessment in P3, he would have to attend one hour of class every Thursday afternoon and eventually have a fifth subject at PSLE. His eyes opened wider at the latter but he still decided he would do it. Ok then, the agreement is that once he starts, he would have to stick with it for the whole P3. At the end, he could decide if he wants to continue in P4. Deal.

Well, I'm quite pleased actually that he wants to do more and better. 

I wonder if he wants to do more things. Yesterday morning, he asked me if the awards on Friday - Honours Day - were for things like swimming and chess. He knew two friends were receiving awards, one of which was for his achievements in chess. 

I haven't got down to asking him if he wanted any awards yet - no time yesterday and I've been plagued by an ulcer so no mood to talk. But he came home yesterday with six iHOPEFUL - his school values system - awards and a certificate for being an iHOPEFUL leader - happy for him :)

No award for this quick achievement - building Lego 

Today is the last day of school, and next he goes to school, he will be in P3! Hope he will still climb into our bed to snuggle on weekends for some time more, like he did last week - he was in my arms and he said, "You smell so sweet, like candy. Why?"

Awww...

Stalking the kids

Recently, I rely less on the smart watch to stalk the kids.

Kai and Yang started coming home from school on their own from January 2022. I was anxious, not least because they had to cross roads near the school. So I bought a GPS watch to stalk them. They already started going to school on their own since April 2021. But I was more anxious for the returning journey, maybe coz Kai slept past the bus stop before??

With Yu going to primary school, we started the sending and fetching again, before letting them go on their own from January this year, and return on their own from March. So the watch had a break before resuming service.

And then, in September, student concession cards could finally onboard Simply Go! So happy! Now I can get instant updates when they alight and when their balance falls below $5. 

Even though student cards allow them to board with balance as low as $1, I'd rather be safe as I've had a few close brushes already. Once, the boys went to Stevens MRT to change but Yang couldn't get through coz the bus ride to Stevens put him at below $1. His brothers had to exit the MRT and waited for the direct bus home, with Yang paying cash.

But the instant updates are the best. I know when they get to school. I know that they alight at the right bus stop - Yang and Yu had fallen asleep / stoned on the way to bus and alighted only two stops later *.* I know whether they are taking the direct bus home or changing to MRT when coming home. 

The limitation is that I would get the notification only when they tap out of the bus/MRT. If the train stalls, I would not know until I start to worry about the long time they take to get home! 

And this happened to Kai before - he was coming home from his penultimate Chinese tuition class when the train stalled. I was so worried coz he was late. It took me a while to think of checking the trains. What a relief when I saw that there was a train fault! But then I got worried again - is he ok, scared, tired? Luckily, the aircon in the train was working, and he had a seat and was doing homework while waiting. He could have borrowed a phone to inform me though *.*

So I'd still have the smart watch ready. They can use it to call me. Now it's one for all to share. Next year, Kai will have his own phone.

Sito and I were talking about going to and from school. We thought it was great that our kids can take public transport by themselves. In fact, they themselves learnt to take the train instead of the direct bus home; they don't like to wait long long at the bus stop so would hop on the first bus. And depending on the bus, they may change at Stevens or Botanic Gardens. 

Once when I fetched Yang and Yu home, I purposely let them lead the way. We were on the upper deck and these kids kept talking and talking but remembered to press the bell to alight at Botanic Gardens. To be honest, I would need to look and look to be sure it's the right bus stop!

And on Thursday, after dinner at Mother's place, Kai suggested taking the bus from just downstairs to Bishan instead of walking to AMK MRT to take the train to Bishan. He remembers that route and decides it's a better one - I agree!

Don't think I was so good with public transport in primary school. But then, I never had to take public transport with my school just across the road, and also, bus stops now have the route details... I'm glad the boys know how to make use of the information and remembers the route to take.

Only the Mama is worried about them crossing roads. I have a whole lesson on crossing road ready for them!

Hello my sweetie pie!

I say Yang inherited sweet genes from Sito :)

He's a really sweet boy.

On the rare mornings that he woke early before his alarm went off, he came out with a smile on his face and hugged me :) When he goes to pee before he sleeps, he would give Papa and/or Mama - whoever is waiting for him to be done - a hug before going back to bed.

And he wants me to live to 100yo and lie down with him at bedtime every day until I die. Then when I die, he wants to keep my ashes at home so that he can talk to me. I thought that was very sweet of him.

Helping me pull thread through a needle

He didn't manage it in the end but I appreciate that he tried when he saw me struggling to see even with glasses.

But I'm not a sweet mama. I'm always scolding him for eating slowly, and for being sleepy or dozing off when doing work.

The worst though, was when he was very young... 

English PSLE day, I watched a reel of a CCTV where a mother was shouting at her infant who kept waking up at night. It was about postpartum depression. I never thought I had any such depression but I was very upset once.

That night at bedtime, I told Yang how I was so upset one day when he kept refusing to sleep that I just threw him on our bed - not like throwing a ball but roughly dropped him from a carrying position. He cried harder. I felt - and still feel - so guilty.

I said sorry to him and he said, "But I don't remember." Of course, you were only a few months old, I said. Now that I think about it, he was over one year old coz it was our second helper by then - she took him away and let me calm down. But still, I was rough with him.

I told him I'll sayang him more to make up for it. And we continued our bedtime hug.

Sito also thinks that Yang is the most 有心 boy, versus Kai who is quite whatever and Yu who is heartless haha!

Papa and pup meditating

The meditation lasted only a few days back in April. Think we wanted to help him get to a better state to study but he found it boring very quickly.

Well, he did study some for his exams. Some. Somehow, he had this confidence that he could get AL 9 in total. Sito delved deeper with him and he figured out that 9 wasn't possible. Maybe he has a rather wide range of what he considers good - after his maths teacher told the class that two scored 100, three or four scored 80-90 and the rest below, he told us he thought he did well for maths and could get maybe 80 plus or 70 plus - that's like AL 2 going down to AL 4 *.*

Anyway, he still hoped for below 15 - his grades last year. As it turned out, he got a 17. He was a little disappointed but he said he wanted to improve, which is great! He even came to me with two line charts showing "life" - one shows no work now and hard work later in life; one shows hard work now and a better life later. 

Actually, after we went through his papers, we thought it was ok. His English compo was clear with way fewer spelling errors than I feared! In fact, English was his best subject. Maths was plenty of carelessness so gotta work on that. And Sito said the science paper was tough with no half marks awarded at all - I trust that Sito can build him up! As for Chinese, I'm sad, haha! But ok I can build him up!

This boy tends to get distracted when his brothers are playing. And he feels tired easily when he is doing work. But with his latest results, he has agreed he needs to build up his foundation to prepare for P5. So we shall see how much work we can do during year end break, amid all the fun we're going to have!

A common sight

But must stay healthy... He came down with a running nose after his exams. Luckily it wasn't serious. After some Zyrtec, it became a blocked nose. So Papa applied Vicks on his chest one night.

I love such hub and pup moments

Playdates and parties

Last month, Yang and Yu were invited to a birthday party and a playdate respectively. Yang's classmate stays near Beauty World - sounds near but it's a long walk from the bus stop. Yu's classmate is at East Coast - very far but is right behind a bus stop.

I wasn't particularly keen on Yang's invitation as it wasn't a good friend. I think he wanted to go coz he had good experiences at birthday parties. But he also said he didn't want the classmate to feel alone. Awww... So I agreed to the invitation.

Yu was keen to play with his classmates. I agreed to the playdate before I knew the location. But had I known it beforehand, I think I would still agree.

I try to let them go whenever possible coz I had childhood trauma. I can't remember whether I heard it from the horse's mouth or through a mutual friend, but this primary school classmate said she didn't invite me to her birthday party coz I always needed to ask my mother who would always say no.

Maybe it was an excuse since we weren't close anyway. But still, it was a fact that Mother always said no to such things. She even said no to the post-PSLE trip to the beach organised by the more street smart kids. I told CY sadly that I couldn't go and her mum kindly called Mother to persuade her to let me go.

Anyway, so yesterday when school was out for 2025 P1 orientation, I brought Yu to the East Coast - bus 106 to Napier, TEL to Marine Parade, bus to the house; bus to Marine Parade, TEL to Caldecott, Circle Line back home. It took over an hour each way. So tiring. But Yu had so much fun that I found it worth the effort :) I also took the chance to get a foot massage while waiting for him :p

On the train to Marine Parade

Next Sunday, we'll go to Yang's birthday party. The duration is shorter so maybe just grab some coffee?

Anyway 1 - their classmates are from all over Singapore! Kai had a playdate somewhere near Paya Lebar. I organised a playdate with Kai's classmates, one of whom came from Bedok. Yang's best friend stays in Sengkang. And now Yu's friend in East Coast. I guess they probably entered the school under alumni phase. Unlike me who entered a primary school right across the road, and all my classmates live around the school - very easy to go to each other's house.

Interestingly, I've met mummies from four countries already - local for sure, then PRC, Korean and even Ukrainian!

Anyway 2 - it's interesting that these days, playdates and parties are arranged through the parents. Back in our day, it was all by ourselves - discussed playdates with friends in school or be invited in school, went home to seek permission, RSVP-ed with friends in school. In fact, some classmates just showed up at my place after dropping off their bags in school - afternoon session - coz I was just right across from the school!

Now, the kids get party invites directly from friends. Then they come home to seek permission, and I RSVP to the parent through WhatsApp. As for playdates, it's so far been parent to parent. In this case, technology seems to have robbed our kids of some form of independence and self initiation, though it probably eases parents of some anxiety...

Gynae matters

When a CT scan for my gastro-intestinal issues showed I had a swollen womb, I was referred to a gynae.

Saw a doc on 8 May, fully armed with my gynae records on my phone:

• Two miscarriages and three vaginal births (Angel 1, Angel 2, Kai, Yang, Yu)
• CIN II and LEEP in 2011 - I only briefly mentioned this in 2015 but didn't shout loudly: It is important to do PAP regularly, ladies!
• Removal of polyp in womb in 2010 - found during preconception scan
• Date of last period and period behaviour

She said my HPV PAP in 2022 would last for five years so no need to do. But she recommended a scan - on another day - and a womb lining biopsy given my weird periods.

The biopsy was crampy! A bit embarrassing but I was getting really anxious on her third poking. Luckily got a "good" sample in the end.

The ultrasound on 19 Jun 2024 took longer than expected coz the water stayed in my stomach for the longest time! The sonographer brought me in twice but could not do the scan. I waited a long time before my bladder was full enough *.*

Anyway, everything was fine according to the gynae on 26 Jun. I was given a review appointment via phone in January but I think I'll cancel. No need to spend such money since everything is fine!

Since I'm on gynae matters...

I often wonder when I'll hit menopause... Yes, my periods are much more predictable since having kids but still, who likes period days?!

I read about menopause on and off. Since I was a kid (thanks to TV and radio), I knew that women need to ensure sufficient calcium or risk osteoporosis upon menopause. But I don't want to take calcium pills, in part because Mother used to take it and it apparently caused weight gain. Or she didn't take but heard from a fellow auntie? I forgot :p

I think my calcium should be fine. I like green leafy vege and take more dairy than Mother ever did. She's still pushing strong at 78. But I can get more sun... Recently I bring a brolly with me on sunny days coz the 白 in 傻白甜 is very important at this age - I don't think any tan can fade easily anymore!

Lately, I also heard on the radio (ah, the old friend) about protein loss from middle age onwards. In fact, Mum has this issue and so is losing strength as well. Some years ago, I preferred to go vegetarian for dinner. For the kids, I included meat. Now, knowing that I need to ensure sufficient protein intake too, I cook even more meat and eggs and tofu. 

Ok, I'm veering into old age stuff now. But menopause and old age aren't so far apart? Haha! 

My second gastroscopy

Four months on, my hospital appointments came and passed.

On 3 Sep, I met an anaesthetist. I had to give the whole story - I always had low blood pressure but somehow it wasn't on record even though they took my blood pressure at least twice at each visit due to it being low, and so they couldn't knock me out at the first gastroscopy as the med reduced my pressure to 70+.

But on 3 Sep, my blood pressure was ok, with systolic at 90+ which was a rare occurrence! The doc thought I was nervous at the gastroscope and so had to be knocked out but no, I damn chill before, during and after. It was only the colon one that was uncomfortable.

I even showed the doc a copy of my blood pressure from the hospital self-check machine - in his words, not compatible with human life hoho! But the self-check machine always gave the lowest readings.

Anyway, the conclusion was there would be no GA but an anaesthetic would be there to monitor my vitals. He painted the worst case scenario - scary so I don't want to remember but ok, unlikely :p

I also did an ECG and blood test to rule out other possible causes for low blood pressure. But everything seemed fine as I didn't get a call-back. The doc was nice to rush things for me as I mentioned lunch for the kids so I didn't have to wait too long, phew! Went home with Ikea lunch for the boys and hub - just nice :)

Fast forward to 17 Sep, I found myself in an unfamiliar part of the hospital. Turned out there was a renovation since June so the scope had moved to this new part. 

The nurses wondered if I should change. Thank goodness they let me change coz later just before the scope, a nurse stuck things on my torso to monitor heart. Later at home, I found a sticker on my left side *.*

Met the anaesthesiologist on duty that day and he asked if I was nervous coz people don't usually need an anaesthesiologist for a scope. Eh, these doctors don't read patient notes?!

I signed some consent form again - forgot what though I read it :p - and was led to the op room. Was surprised to see some nine or 10 people in the room! I think it was due to the anaesthesia requirements... The anaesthesiologist put the needle in me this time.

Anyway, it was over in a jiffy. I don't know if I was totally out - I remember gagging a bit somehow... Then the staff were just doing their stuff and chatting while I was lying there... I was sent out to rest and finish off the drip before I could finally have milo! Oh ya, my scope was 2 pm and I quickly finished my breakfast before 8 am and suffered hunger from 11 am :(

It was when I boarded the bus home when I realised that I had forgotten to collect my medicine! Later, I googled that it was to reduce acidity. Um, no need la. And I really don't wish to take that for eight weeks!!

The follow-up with the gastro specialist was via phone. Everything was fine, never mind the medicine since I didn't feel unwell after the scope (yay!), no need to repeat gastro scope unless new issues come up, can do colonoscopy in 10 years - coz of my age?! 

But! My original issue still happens on and off... Doc said based on all that was done, no issues. But she gave me an open dated appointment so that I could return if my issue is accompanied by significant weight loss and LS.

It's been almost a year now. I guess I can finally close this chapter off? Taking a leaf from Yang's poop tracking, I've started tracking my diet and poop on an excel sheet - I suspect the oil is due to my nightly peanuts but it's hard to link coz I don't go every day... I shall see...

Btw, I wrote "scope" happily but I just realised there isn't such a thing?? More like xx-scopy, oops :p

The last eight

This boy is eight!

Firehouse birthday ice cream without nuts for this monkey

We started celebrations on Saturday. Went to the library and met Mother they all for dinner at Dian Xiao Er at Bishan.

First time we got a duck head coz we ordered one duck in two flavours

Two cakes this time - one for the 78 and one for the eight

Then Sunday, we went to Xin Cuisine at Holiday Day Inn Atrium for lunch. Dim sum with twists - like ginkgo on top of siew mai. So Yu had only one siew mai after the top was removed.

Strawberry cake as requested

He also asked me for a strawberry cake. So I googled madly. Tried to make a chiffon cake a couple of weeks ago - failed! The cake collapsed spectacularly. I think I need aluminium trays... Lucky I tried first. 

So I stuck to sponge cake. But the top sank a little and I was afraid I might not have enough to cut into two layers so I quickly put together another batter using the same recipe but with oil and milk instead of butter coz I didn't have time to soften the butter. The second cake turned out to be softer.

But I think I'll get aluminium trays. I already have an order for the same cake from Yang :)

The cake was bigger than Yu's head, haha!

I was greedy. I made a three-layer cake. It was hard to stack them nicely coz I didn't halve the cakes very well. So I think I need two or three aluminium trays - make layers individually, no need to cut.

And even though I repurposed my condiments turntable into a cake turntable, I couldn't get the cream all round so it was more like a naked cake. What a sus cake, haha! Yu said he liked only the cream and the strawberries though, not the cake. Maybe he would prefer the light chiffon cakes made using aluminium trays.

:p

On his birthday itself, we indulged him and had dinner at Swensen's at Clementi. He could get his free Firehouse birthday ice cream only on the actual birthday. So Yang escaped - no revision for Chinese compo exam the next day...!

But all were happy with their food and ice cream :) And the trip on a school day took a toll on the younger two - they were knocked out very quickly that night!

A lesson

Written 28 Sep on my phone and edited 7 Oct to post.

This week, I learnt a valuable lesson. 

Context first. I have a few good friends with whom I text regularly, usually over random and/or mundane stuff in our lives and news and funny stuff etc. These include tak glam pictures of ourselves coz funny or hey, look at my new black facial sheet mask!

One of these friends - let’s call him X - made a couple of WhatsApp stickers using my headshots. One was me in a period costume headdress as I was playing with an app - quite funny. One was a photo of me taken over tea one day - I purposely made a funny face. Ugly but I love that funny expression. Oh that's the current headshot on this blog :)

A few days ago, can’t remember what we were saying but he asked me to send him a new ugly photo to make into a sticker. I was like, you think I’m crazy? I left it at that. 

Yesterday, I was on my phone with my face mask on. X sent me a link to Instagram. I knew I would need glasses to read the text so I replied to say I couldn’t read coz no glasses. And I attached a photo of myself with face mask on, setting it to view once only so my ugly shot won’t be in cyberspace forever. 

But shortly, I found that photo in a sticker in a group chat among another good friend, X and me!

I messaged X directly to ask how come he could do that when I set it to view once. He said secret. Then I told him it was very mean of him to do that coz I meant to only say why I couldn’t wear glasses, not for him to make into a sticker. 

When he replied that it wasn’t clear, I stopped replying. How can it not be clear when I set it to view once??

I was very pissed with him. I questioned our friendship in my head:

• With a friend like this, who needs enemies?!
• Is he still a friend when he does such things? Depends - he has clearly taken it for granted that it’s ok to play tricks on good friends. I have three boys who think it’s ok to play tricks on each other but they are kids...
• Has he been a good friend otherwise? Yes. We supported each other through difficult times, and share a common interests.
• Is it worth ending a friendship over this? No, given the above. 

I also asked myself - what specifically was I angry about? Actually I’m happy enough with myself. See my blog headshot - I don’t mind looking ugly. But I mind when people take things out of context and without permission. That is not right. 

There was another photo incident with another good friend many years ago. Let’s call her Y. 

It was the time of film cameras so we didn’t get to preview photos and delete unwanted ones straightaway. One day, we placed her camera on timer mode to take a wefie. When the photos came back from the shop some days later, we found that the wefie showed a bit of my underwear as my shorts were opening towards the camera. 

Horrified, I asked Y to throw that away but she refused. I was upset with her. But we remained friends. 

Years on, I was at her place browsing old photos when I saw that photo again, this time pasted in a big album. Does that mean anyone browsing her albums can see me exposed?? I asked her to throw it away again but again, nope. Then at least please just cover it up. I “no eye see” already. We never spoke of that photo again. 

Not that I had forgotten about it. I once went round the table to take photos of my friends at a dinner gathering. Again it was a film camera. One shot came back exposing a friend as she was wearing a loose blouse and bending forward. I dumped that photo without hesitation and no one else set eyes on it. Coz I know what it’s like. Even if I did not have such an experience, I would have dumped it anyway coz it’s a mistake in the first place. 

Anyway, the lesson. Or lessons. 

Don’t trust technology to protect me 100%. 

More importantly, look after myself more. It’s also my fault to allow these to happen. I should have protected myself and check my attire before taking the wefie. I should not have itchy fingers - why did I send candid photos of myself to friends, view once or not?!

Recognise that anyone - family, good friends - can take me for granted. I find it hard to say “don’t trust anyone” coz how to live when there’s no trust? So I need to recognise this in order to own the responsibility to protect myself. Or maybe just "don’t take it for granted that people will be kind"...

Told JY about this without mentioning names and her response was that she couldn't imagine me scolding a friend. Guess that says something about me too. I must stand up for myself!

So anyway, I scolded X. He apologised. 

The work desk

Heard on TV (earlier in July :p), something about how many people were not equipped to work from home when the pandemic hit. 

I cannot understand. The underlying statement here is that these were people who could work from home, but what was happening before the pandemic? They worked long hours in office? They worked on their bed? They had no need to bring work home??

I remember I was surprised when I heard from a colleague that she worked on her bed whenever she requested to work from home to take care of her sick cat. (That was before the pandemic. Later, due to pandemic WFH, she bought a desk.)

Really, I thought everyone would have a desk for work. I mean, if you're working, you have the means right? And a desk can be very small to suit small spaces - like those in schools. 

I grew up hearing about 书房 study on TV but not having one. What a wonderful idea that is, a room of books and for studying!

In my early schooling years, I would sit on the floor in front of the coffee table in the living room to do my homework. (Don't know why coffee tables were such a thing - we never had one in three homes.) Later, I shifted to the dining table, double the size of the coffee table. 

I also used to read one whole week of accumulated newspapers at the dining table from P5, while the rest were watching TV at night. That stopped only when we stopped getting free newspapers. I never like reading them anyway :p (But now I read the digital version.)

The dining table was probably where I spent a lot of time studying. Homework in the afternoon, packed away for dinner, homework in the night, revision. 

I remember studying for exams at the dining table in secondary school. Somehow I have this image of me poring over a geography textbook in the kitchen under the glaring fluorescent light, everywhere else dark. Oh how I hated geography, haha!

Then there were those endless maths tutorials in JC, each question taking up to 30min to solve. The dining table was full by then - the one-page tutorial with references to 10-year series (TYS) books, the TYS books, other homework, the foolscap pad I was using, stationery etc.

In university, each bedsit came with a desk. Mostly proper desks - I had a small desk supplemented by a dressing table (!) in my first year.

During the summer back in Singapore, I would sit on a stool next to the telephone table (seriously) in order to use the internet - it was still dialup for me!

When I first started work, I seldom brought work home coz we were using desktops. At most brought papers home to read. But soon enough, I got a laptop. Where do I work? I can't remember - probably the dining table again, or the sofa since it was just one item. But when the need to send/receive emails arose, I worked next to the phone again!

I vividly remember one night, sitting on the floor with the laptop on the stool coz too hot, logging on to send papers off for a meeting. And shortly, I received an SMS from a colleague telling me something was off with a paper. We carried on like it was nothing strange doing this at 2 am *.*

It wasn't until after the upgrading that (1) we finally got broadband and (2) I had a proper desk! That was life-changing man... That desk was also my dressing table and bedside table rolled into one.

When we got married and moved to our own home, we had one desk to share. I don't remember why when both of us tended to work a lot at home after hours! Eventually, after the MBA, Sito worked more overseas so I took over the one desk almost completely. He used the desk sometimes but else it was the bed for him.

Then when we moved to Bukit Panjang, again, we had one desk! That was clearly MINE! Though I recently saw a photo of Sito using it too :p It wasn't until the pandemic that we bought a second desk as Sito had to work full-time from home too.

And now, we have a 2m desk with a drawer cabinet dividing it into two parts, one for each of us :) He spends more time at the desk. The boys spend time here too, even though they have their own desk already. They like to crowd together. I often find all four of them here. 

In the picture below, Kai was working on sthg on his own with his brothers on the floor, getting a respite from the heat outside. Thanks for saving on aircon bills? :p But this means no space for me, grrr...

Recently, Kai was studying a lot in his room to prepare for PSLE (last day today, yay!). I'm so glad he has the space which I didn't have as a child. Later in December, we will also shift Yu's bed out of Yang's room so that they get their own space as well - Yang would be in P5 next year, need to study more without the monkey monkeying around...

Our first tween

Haven't posted any daily stuff for a while, apart from the recent term break. Going through my photos, I realised I have fewer photos of Kai these days. But he probably has the most number of baby photos coz it was easier to have a free hand for photos when it was just one kid! 

BK breakfast as an only kid - coz the brothers wanted to sleep

Eat more!! This boy has lost some of his meatiness as he gained height, weighing only 46kg now against a 164cm frame. He's only 4cm shorter than me now.

Recently, he's starting to slouch again. He was slouching a lot in the months before we moved and then improved. I'm guessing he's slouching again coz he's gaining height again. 

Think he grew some 10cm in the past year; my oldest (easily!) available record showed he was 154cm in October 2023. He seemed to have grown more since the start of this year, with puberty clearly on its way - his voice is starting to change, and the boys like to run around naked and/or comment loudly about private parts *.*

Mama doesn't want to see naked boys anymore!

Luckily, Kai has largely obliged by the rules - to always wrap a towel around him when he comes out of the shower*, and get changed with his door closed. I said "largely" coz sometimes he would just open the shower door to say something!!!

* It is kind of impossible for them to wear clothes in the shower coz they would more likely get the clothes wet before they wear them *.*

But he still has milk teeth coz these three started teething rather late. Just this month, he dropped two teeth three days apart. 

I don't know since when but he stopped asking me to 陪陪 him at bedtime. Instead, he played chess. Then we stopped that and he does some work or reading for PSLE instead. Sometimes he came in to lie down on my side of the bed when I was with his brothers, to watch Papa play games. But I don't like to come back to a warm bed. So we stopped him from lying on my side. 

That doesn't stop him from coming in at about 9.15pm when his go-to-sleep alarm goes off - he just kneels next to Sito's side of the bed to watch Papa play games. And then he would still hang around sometimes. Sometimes he brings a paper. Sometimes, it's just him at the foot of our bed, like this:

So big and still wants to nua on our bed!

Ok, good chance for him to sayang him. Think that irritates the hell out of him haha! Coz I cannot call him baby ok...

So, to irritate me or to shut me up, he often asks me lewd questions *.* Oh yes, he brings home a lot of "sus" stuff. Wth. Sometimes, we have to correct his perceptions or random sus comments he heard from his similarly sus classmates *.*

Yup, plenty of rolling eyes here...

Recently, Sito arranged for Kai to come in at the end of his regular chats with his cousin KS to play chess with him. As KS is a good chess player, it's more fun for Kai to play with him than with us :p In fact, I can hardly tell one piece from another!

Playing chess with KS 表舅

Anyway, PSLE is coming. In fact, the orals are already done. He was rather upset when he came home after Chinese orals on 13 August but no comments for English the following day. No comments means ok... Listening compre is coming up this Friday, and the written papers start in two weeks.

He didn't do well for prelims, totalling AL18! His maths and science were unexpectedly poor - came home with lots of comments! Hope he has learnt from his mistakes and can do better for PSLE. Jia you! :)

A rather studious week

This term break, we did nothing and everything....

What we did not do:

Leave our neighbourhood, with the exception of going to Yang's dermatological appointment on Wednesday and to Clementi on Saturday coz must return books and cut hair. No library until after PSLE so we did not borrow any more books; enough books at home and there's Libby. Kai needed a haircut so he could be more comfortable for exams. 

After last weekend, we won't leave our neighbourhood until after PSLE - 闭关修炼 and avoid germs! We didn't even sign up for mid-autumn cele at the CC this year coz too crowded and too near exams...

What we did:

Papers, papers and more papers!

Even Yu did some papers - gave him Yang's leftover P3 English and Maths papers from last year :p Not bad, he did very well for the WA1s!

Yang did a paper every day with varying results. He really needs to work more on all subjects, sighs...

Kai had a science boot camp over zoom on Monday to Wednesday - need to brush up on his open-ended questions. Sito sat in so he could teach the brothers too :p

Even though we didn't go out for a movie etc, the kids also had fun at home. Since they work in the morning to early afternoon, they got to play the rest of the afternoon, though Kai did more work later on too. One hour of phone games and all their rumble tumble. 

Also watched Papa play games

Yu also completed a few mini Lego sets, with Kai helping when he was free

The younger ones went to the playground too. One day, I had to go downstairs to look for them - they didn't hear me say 5 pm and thought they could come back at 5.15 pm *.*

After years of saying we would eat there, we finally went to the claypot rice stall at the hawker centre! It was so yummy! But Kai didn't like it. Also went to Paradise Classic where Yang finally dropped the fried rice he doesn't really like, to try hor fun with us - success! 

These two enjoyed claypot rice

These two also enjoyed making their own pizza

But only Yang liked to eat this pizza. Yu found it too thick. Nvm, I'll make this again on our regular Sunday pizza day and see how.

The kids had Ikea hotdog buns and chicken wings for lunch on Tuesday when I had an appointment at Alex Hospital. Also bought a lot of chocolate bars.

Kai wanted to help me cut up the chocolate to put into boxes in the fridge for easier retrieval

We enjoyed a nice BBQ hotpot lunch. Kai enjoyed it less than expected as his tooth hurt. Later during his haircut, the tooth came out! Anyway, the deal with the kids was that after this happy lunch, we would just eat downstairs on weekends until after PSLE.

And so starts our 闭关！

One year in!

On Saturday, 17 August, I suddenly realised we have moved here for just over a year!

And the kids have broken the soft closing function of not one but two toilet seats! Haha!

The original seat broke but we managed to get a free replacement in March as it was still under warranty. At that time, we weren't quite sure if it was the seat or the kids. But mid August, the replacement seat broke. So yup, it's the kids. We're not replacing the seats anymore. They can deal with lifting the seat up and putting it down gently. Just don't use my toilet, EVER!

The toilet seat is not the only thing to suffer from the kids. Their sofa seats are also depressed to varying degrees. Yu is the Papa Bear, Kai the Mama Bear and Yang the Baby Bear, i.e. Yu's seat is the most depressed, no thanks to him bouncing and standing on his sofa! In fact, it has a hole... We put a cushion over his seat and turn a blind eye to it.

The walls in the three kids' rooms have scratches and even holes, even though Yu has not moved into his room yet *.* Other walls have also suffered, like the part above the skirting near Kai's sofa - it's all yellowish coz Kai steps and rubs over it all the time... The study wall and even the sideboard door have scratch marks from the chairs coz these little butts are very itchy - must roll Papa's chair everywhere!

Kai knocked a bit of the laminate off a corner of his wardrobe. Yang's wardrobe is also suffering from his and Yu's weight when they push in clothes after folding them - no damages yet but it's a matter of time, right?

Why are they so rough?!

Other damages are kind of expected - food/drink splatters on painted walls, cracks in the plaster, mould on silicone in wet areas. But we had one unexpected damage in May - a strong wind slammed a window shut and the glass cracked!

I taped the glass in case it fell off and hurriedly got someone to replace it - that was $120 gone. My only consolation was that I didn't need to shift the washing machine at all as the guys took down that window and cut and replaced the glass at the corridor before installing it back. 

Apart from these mishaps, we also face polluted air from incense burning. This being an elderly area has lots more burning compared to BP. Our immediate neighbour burns a joss stick at the corridor at least weekly - I haven't figured out her schedule :p And we have survived two lunar seventh months already - with much aircon and runny nose...

There is of course cigarette smoke but that was present in BP too and is a whole other story that I hope to write about another day...

And pests are also another story. I talked about lizards already. Outside, there are pigeons which make me feel like I'm in the horror movie "Birds" sometimes... The community cats here are too well fed and cared for - with beds! - that they don't bother swiping down birds. And the birds are also too well fed by silly old people who throw food from their kitchen window, to catch lizards! Grrr!

Recently, we also noticed some amazing lost laundry. A lot of families still hang out their laundry here and the wind can be pretty strong. But we didn't expect to see a bedsheet hanging neatly on a branch of a really tall tree in between the walls of two blocks. Walls ok, not the kitchen area where people put out their laundry. Some freak of a wind must have blown it high and far before depositing it so nicely on a branch.

It happened to be the lunar seventh month - the bedsheet looked freaky :p I took a photo and sent in to the One Service app. The town council dealt with it promptly. I don't know how - it was high up and right above some steps. But right after that, we found yet another bedsheet on another tree. This time, it was lower and nearer to people's laundry, and it was gone the next time we passed by. And then I saw another piece of something on the tree right below our kitchen windows *.*

All the above aside...! I must say we enjoy living here. It's convenient and close to the kids' school and various amenities. 

*** silence ***

Oh, is that it? Haha! I guess there's always more to say about bad things!

These days, we eat more at hawker centres and coffeeshops coz they're available. We found that that really make a difference to our dining-out expenses! And yummier sometimes! The new mall that opened in December was also good for our fave Paradise restaurants - it's cheaper to eat at Classic than at the coffeeshop sometimes when Kai and Yu choose to eat steak from the western food stall... 

And now that we're not staying right above a neighbourhood mall, we eat way less fast food, which is better for our waistline! We still make the trek to Macs often enough but more for breakfast or ice cream after dinner - and Sito and I don't eat as much at breakfast :p

At home, one of our fave spots is the dining room. On weekday mornings, Sito and I would sit there for breakfast, read news, chit chat. Before the kids come home, we also sit there for brunch/lunch/coffee and tea. This half of the year until about April, we have a nice bright morning without too much sun in our eyes. From about April, we have to pull down the blinds but we still get the view in the afternoon :) It's so nice that we saw someone pass by our corridor and take a step back to take a photo haha!

This was one rainy afternoon in December 2023

I'm thankful we haven't had to buy a single umbrella yet to cross from HV to our block! We bought quite a number from Cold Storage when Kai was a baby - always went out without a brolly and it rained on our way home *.*

Anyway, last weekend, we were queueing to cut hair at Clementi and bumped into the previous owner of our place. She moved to Clementi. I took the chance to ask her about ownership of this flat. So we are the fourth owner of my side and the third owner of the kitchen side. She bought over the kitchen side when the original owner wanted to sell. Mystery solved! Didn't see the lease this time coz HDB didn't give us a copy.