Congrats, Kai :)

Kai attended his first National Schools Individual (NSI) Chess Championships on 15-16 March and ranked 50 out of 283 in the U14 category, woohoo! 

I told Sito this was a bad wefie, haha!

Even though his school does not have chess as a CCA, a group of boys have come together to play chess in school. There's even a WhatsApp group - I didn't look at this but I saw some messages from Kai's class chat and, shall I just say I don't understand boy humour??

Anyway, so a number from this group of boys donned their school uniform and represented their school at NSI, chaperoned by parents. And for such an informal group with no coach, they all did pretty well!

Just playing with friends before the tournament started

Source: Parents' group

The parents of the Sec 1 chess boys also have a WhatsApp group going :p And parents who were there posted photos of the tournament. Sito is the chess parent of our family but he declined to be invited (by me) into the WhatsApp group - anti-social, haha! 

Anyway, my poor laogong aka dedicated chess papa sat at Macs the whole two days! Sian of Macs after that... But by doing so, Kai had a spot to rest in between matches and didn't need to sit on the ground like some others. A friend also joined him at Macs, and he told Kai that Sito was a good papa :)))

So tired at the end of day one

It was a long journey to Tampines so they both wore a mask for the train rides. But later, we found that Kai had a fever. No wonder he was so tired. He asked for dinner to be packed and eaten at home, and went to bed shortly after that. Found him hot while sleeping. When he woke due to his 9 pm sleep alarm which we forgot to turn off, we gave him some paracetamol and thankfully, he was better the next day.

Overall, Kai lost one game, drew four and won four. This tournament was just one week after his last tournament where he did quite badly 😢  So Sito said he was perhaps overly cautious hence the many draws. It was a good experience for him, and Sito also managed to put faces to some names that the boy mentioned. We were happy to see him having fun with his like-minded friends :)

A very wet Legoland

Our last trip to Legoland was 2023, before Kai's PSLE year. We were all so excited to go back again! Yu especially could be heard saying how excited he was about it in the days leading to the trip. But I was apprehensive due to the weather forecast about a monsoon surge on 19-21 March, the last three days of our four-day trip *.*

This time, we did a Tuesday-Friday instead of our preferred Wednesday to Saturday routine, as we were not sure if NSI for chess would take place that weekend. As it turned out, chess was on the weekend before our trip but we didn't change our dates, which was just as well given the weather!

Tuesday, 18 March

Everything is still awesome!

Our car dropped us at Tuas checkpoint for us to go through immigration personally, as is the rule for bigger cars these days. Didn't need to bring the big suitcase with us. It was very, very smooth. There was a slight wait at the JB checkpoint but it was ok. In Legoland itself in 1.5h.

This time, we chose an AirBnB at Afiniti which allowed us to drop baggage before check-in and after check-out time. But we were lucky - apartment was available for morning check-in! 

The boys were queueing for VR when I went to get our annual passes settled at guest services. Again something new - I pre-registered online and sent in photos so there was no need for all of us to be present to make a new card. The funny thing was that the staff took photos of the emailed photos *.* So all our cards show us looking ghostly blue...

But the VR ride went down and the boys didn't get to ride. They got a card that allowed them to jump queue for any ride though. The sad thing is, Yu never wanted to go for the VR again, sighs... But he did go for the volcano ride and the little dragon roller coaster later. After USJ, nothing can be that scary! 

Hello again, Legoland!

No, Kai isn't that tall yet! And Yu said he knew why I chose this top for them that day, yup!

My son has purple tongue!

That was after lunch at our fave restaurant in Legoland - Burger Junction. Don't know why he likes the paddle pop twister ice cream. I tried once and it was like... fondant?! 

Oh, I joined the boys to ride the volcano roller coaster - my first time. So wet! Thank goodness the boys had raincoats and I had a poncho. The boys' pants were a little wet but it was a hot day so everything dried quickly.

Yu was excited by Papa's quakeproof building - for 10 seconds

I meant his interest was 10-sec long :p

Bumped into JK and his family. Long time no see this primary school classmate! Yang also bumped into his classmate there but he didn't want to take a photo with him, just wanted to build racing cars.

Posing like the penguin

Robotics!

We were lucky to get the slots though we were not the first in the waiting list. Yang did this before but he still enjoyed it. He did the first task and Yu the second. We asked the staff if we could buy robotics materials but nope, only online. Very ex anyway... Shall let Yu continue in school first...

Big enough to drive the boat on his own!

We found more options at Medini Mall this time. Happy! But maybe due to that, the bakery at BIG was no longer as filled as the last time we were there, so not many options for breakfast... Also bought water. 

Dinner was at a new place - Eco Botanic, recommended by JY. But the roast place we eyed was being renovated and only takeaway was available! So we had the Korean BBQ next door. Got the kids drinks and poor Yang clipped his tongue on the Pororo drink bottle, ouch! Luckily he took it quite well.

A short walk brought us to a massage place. Cheaper than our usual but it didn't feel as relaxed. The boys sat at the waiting area to play phone games. When we were done, we joined them there and were served ginger tea, red bean soup and warm water.

For this first day, we had only leftover Korean pancake for supper. Not so familiar with Eco Botanic. And we were all tired.

This apartment was nearer to Legoland. There was a single bed in the MBR so we gave up that room to the kids - Yang and Yu shared the big bed and Kai took the single. The bed in the other room was bigger, so just nice for us adults :)

But the beds weren't very comfortable *.* The worst was the fifth towel - it felt more like a blanket?? I still felt wet after using it and there was fur on me?! Had to shower again and used my own towel originally meant for the water park.

Wednesday, 19 March

Water park in the rain

Well, since it's water park, right??

We went there in a slight light. Played all we could as the rain got heavier. Finally, we the parents couldn't take it anymore and ushered all out of the park within two hours. Really walking in the rain man... We only brought out the towels to dry ourselves right outside the apartment building. Sito and I shared a towel but ok, shower was very near!

Romantic (?!) stroll in the rain or waddling through the lazy river? :p

Lunch was supposed to be our usual Tian Lai but it was not open! Coz last time we went on a Thursday... Luckily our driver was Chinese and knew about another similar restaurant just across the road and he brought us there. We had their special 甘香 crabs - very nice! Reminded me of fish head curry and the assam sauce at our fave cai fan stall. But very spicy. And my fingers were stained despite gloves. Sito didn't wear gloves so his hands all yellow!

First time using gloves for crabs, I think

Big gong!

The staff were kind to shelter us to the car with big umbrellas. We headed to AEON to shop and eat. First stop was Mixue - kids had a sundae each. Surprisingly, Yang and Yu didn't have any leftovers!

Bought some underwear for Yang and Yu, and bread for breakfast. I even went to Daiso while the boys read at Popular! Of course they went there for phones but nope, not this outlet. Dinner was at Vivo Pizza - bought their membership again since the kids like it there.

Nice and quiet

Egg tart in yam base - so good! 

Hey Tea in a bottle, after LiHo at AEON

Kai and Yang had supper too - tamago sushi but all gone while at the mall! Papa went to buy drinks for Yang and Yu after returning to the apartment as they complained all we had were fizzy drinks.. That's how we also ended up with some candy - left of picture behind Hey Tea :p

Thursday, 20 March

Very wet day!

We woke to rain, rain and rain! But we went to Legoland anyway. We had four umbrellas but Yang and Yu wore their raincoats as they were cold. Just as well coz (1) I could shelter myself better as Yu could take a little splash (:p) and (2) Sito could shelter himself better when one umbrella got stuck later in the day and he had to shelter Yang too. 

In fact, another umbrella kind of broke too but still usable. Both umbrellas came apart in Yang's hands. Sighs... I bought six more umbrellas at home on Saturday. More to replace lost and damaged umbrellas in the coming year!

Anyway, all the outdoor rides were closed as expected. We went for the indoors stuff like Ninjago, mummy adventure and 4D shows, but the rain was really dreary...

When Ninjago first came out, these figures weren't that much shorter...

Mini flood!

Sito's mi bandung and bandung soda!

I had chicken briyani and the kids maggi goreng ayam. Yang and Yu also had a banana each as the bananas on every table were too tempting! That was at Faaz Bistro. Friendly staff and fast service. We went to Ridwan at first but they had only nasi lemak and steamed rice so we changed.

Kai also had Shilin fried chicken. Sito had some seafood tempura from Shilin while I grabbed a coffee from MYCoffee. All very nice. Kids also played at the small arcade. Raining day activities :p

Then we decided to go to Sea Life. Yang was the one who was very on about it but when we got there, the other two were also keen! In fact, Kai was the first to want to touch the sea stars! They also asked questions and thankfully, we had a very patient guide :)

All done, we went back to the apartment to change bags and grab their phones, and went to AEON again. Dinner was Johnny - Thai style hotpot. The kids weren't super hungry due to their big lunch but it was really nice to have some hot soupy stuff on a raining day!

They wanted ice cream again so this time, we had Baskin Robbins. Then we bought bread and supper again - tamago sushi for Kai and Yang, muah chee and yam cake for us - before massage at our usual place.

Kids sat near us to play phone games. Later, they shifted to another chair when other customers came in, but the staff were very nice about it. The kids said they preferred this place as we were there longer (!) and they had soft chairs. After the massage, Sito, Yang and Yu enjoyed the free siew mai and fishballs at the reception area. So happy!

Not done yet! Must get Blackball for dessert!

Friday, 21 March

Homebound

We woke to a visibly clearer day. There was a light passing shower while we were at Ninjago. But oh well, time to go!

We checked out at 9.30 am and left our baggage with the security. We were the first to enter Legoland, yeah! After the opening show, we split into two groups. Yang and Yu were the first to get to the boating school, and Kai was the first at the big dragon roller coaster. So happy no need to queue, haha!

Tuuurning! Must catch up with Yang!

They won!

Kai helped Sito with the pumping. He looked so tired!

As the Ninjago ride went down while they were in the queue, they were given a fast pass again to any ride. Kai and Yang wanted VR but Yu didn't. So Yu was very upset. I gave him a cotton candy.

Cotton candy - with conditions!

Later, Sito managed to "refund" a fast pass for Yu after the brothers took their VR ride. So Yu went for the boating school and overtook one boat and almost overtook another but got stuck instead :p

So the brothers got their cotton candy too

Kai looked so happy! He ate his so quickly... Yang's was still round and nice...

Bought 75RM worth of buns and cakes at the BIG bakery - finally found our usual hotdog buns there! - while Sito grabbed some snacks with the boys. They must have some candy...

Had a simple lunch of buns at the apartment lobby while waiting for our ride home. I forgot to factor in bigger appetites so in the end, we didn't have enough buns for breakfast today, oops! Must buy more next time! I'm very happy to buy their tea cakes though - for breakfast and for their school little bites next week!

We reached home within an hour. No queue at both checkpoints. Clearing immigration personally at Tuas was actually much faster than clearing in car.

So nice to sleep in our own beg last night!!

The sly ones

On Wednesday night, Kai was about to go to bed at about 10 pm when he saw Yu's door ajar. He took a peek and found Yu totally in his blanket. As usual, Kai decided to disturb his brother if he wasn't asleep. So he went in and lifted the blanket, only to find Yu wide awake inside AND WITH HIS PHONE!

Sito and I heard Yu shout at Kai to go away. At first we were upset at Kai for disturbing his brother's sleep and went to the walkway outside Yu's room as Kai came out. But when Kai told us Yu was playing with his phone, he was partially absolved. 

Later, we reminded him to never disturb his brothers at bedtime, and if he should suspect anything, to come straight to us unless he was also looking for a scolding.

Back to Yu. I went in to see him holding his phone, which shows Pleco, our usual Chinese dictionary. I set a passcode immediately and gave Yu a piece of my mind. 

I trusted him to use it only when given permission, e.g. Chinese dictionary during term time, so there was no passcode. The phone is always on his desk in his room as it acts as his alarm clock too. 

But he betrayed this trust! 

Cue the silent tears...  

Told him he would suffer consequences, the first being that he would be very tired the next morning. Papa said he would have to give up some phone time during the holidays.

I felt the gods of parenting programmes nodding their approval as I scolded him in a calm voice :p

Yesterday morning at the breakfast table, Kai was taunting Yu for looking at anime girls* on his phone the night before. Yu claimed again that it was just the Chinese dictionary. Anyway, Yang and Yu were always running late so I chased them out of the house first.

* The kids have this thing about it being sus to look at anime girls. Later, Yang said Kai probably saw an in-game ad.

Later in the morning, I thought if Yu was looking at the Chinese dictionary, I might as well review the words he saw and go through with him. So I went to the app history, and found only a couple of words at 9.59 pm; the earlier words were seen earlier in the evening when he was doing Chinese homework.

I was very upset. He not only used his phone without permission but also lied!

I went into screen time and found all the evidence I needed and more. He was playing games when Kai walked in on him. Worse, this boy had been using his phone almost every night at 9-10 pm and even in the middle of the night like 2-3am!

No wonder he was always sleepy when I woke him for school. No wonder he was always asking if I were going to check on him at 11 pm!

I also found that this happened on nights he slept with Yang. So I took out Yang's phone and found that this boy also used his phone without permission after I left his room at night! His poison was Youtube rather than games though. But before I checked the history further, I turned on parental controls - his is an Android - and all the history was gone somehow!

I didn't have time yesterday but just now, I saw from Youtube history that he watched some videos on facts but mostly reels on Squid Game or random stuff like "saddest find inside an egg"?!

When Yang came home yesterday, I told him I was very upset with what he and Yu did behind my back. He didn't come out during the 10 pm commotion but he was actually up based on his Youtube history so he probably heard something. When I asked him if he could tell what I was upset about, he went, "Phone?"

Then he owned up to everything - using phone without permission after I left his room and in the middle of the night when he woke and couldn't sleep. Gave him a good scolding! Also talked about trust and reputation.

Kai was happily (!) watching by the side, coz I told him I'd scold him if he interrupted. But actually Kai is the one with the best sleep discipline - sleep means sleep. I checked his screen time too and he has been quite ok, mostly playing chess on the way to and from school, and in the evenings mostly. Told him I wouldn't restrict him if he uses it moderately and always puts his studies first.

Later, when Yu came home, I questioned him. He continued to claim he was using the Chinese dictionary. Then I revealed I knew everything. Scolded him again and also for lying, which was worse. 

Now both are afraid that they wouldn't be able to use their phones at night during our holiday next week as I have set downtime from 8 pm to 8 am.

Let them be scared!

Good boy and his sly brothers

Btw, these glasses were used just that one time as they prefer their plastic Ikea cups. 

Update 24 Mar 2025

The most sly one made a confession during our last dinner at Legoland last week - he also watched YouTube on his phone at night but using browser as he didn't have the YouTube app. Tsk tsk tsk. I don't know if I should be happy he's tech savvy or sian...

Taking over from the helper - Part II

I started this post back in 2022 when we were still staying at BP.. Finally I'm finishing it!

*********

Following Part I on clean-repair-replace, here's Part II on changing the way things are done.

Cooking - Helper would start preparing at 4.00 or 4.30 pm to get dinner to the table by 5.30 pm. But I want to spend as much time with the kids as possible, so:

• Prepare ingredients in the morning, marinade them etc and pop them into the fridge - this usually takes much longer than the actual cooking!
• Bring out the ingredients and set the rice cooker at 4.30 pm
• Start cooking by 5 pm - I usually takes 15-30 min to cook and serve.
• Use thermal pot recipes where possible - no need to cook in the evening! Very helpful when we had swimming lessons - I could get the laundry going and dish out hot porridge by the time they were done with showering!

And of course, use less oil and salt! It's hard to gauge how much salt helper used as we used salt water to soak fruits but we used to buy 2L/5L bottles of oil every couple of months! As we happened to start new bottles of oil when moving to HV, I realised that I used only 7L in one year, including deep frying just once or twice.

Laundry - see separate post. While the kids can't help with cooking, this is easy to involve the kids - get them to fold their clothes! Very ugly and full of creases but I don't care coz it's their home clothes :p Anyway I still hang up school uniforms and street clothes. Should teach them how to iron clothes by end of sec school..

Cleaning - I had a task list for the helper, comprising daily, weekly and monthly tasks. Now I know exactly what to do so no need to stick the list on my fridge already. But I have a Google calendar for chores to remind me of less frequent stuff like cleaning the washer or under the fridge.

High-frequency areas which I have changed:

• Reduce bathroom cleaning from three times a week to twice once a week coz Auntie is busy - and the kids' toilet is where I don't want to go in often! Back in our old place, I even closed up the third bathroom totally - one fewer to clean ✌️ 
• Change kitchen and hand towels every day instead of I-don't-know-previous-frequency! Nowadays, coz the boys make their vanity so wet, I have to change their hand towels twice a day..
• Use Robot-kun for the floors, including the balcony in the old house, instead of mop cloths. But I still used Magiclean and even steam cleaning for the yard in the old house coz it got very dirty from the elements.

Also added new tasks: 

• Steam the floors every month - I bought this to sanitise the floors and coz I heard it helps clean up oily areas. But in the end, I'm very pleased that it cleans dirty grout lines and also the dirt spots left behind by Robot-kun. But I'm lazier after moving to HV, a lot more things to shift to steam floor!!!

• Steam kitchen accessories with the same steamer but with different steam heads - When I first did this in the old house, a lot of black stuff came out of the tap handle! 🤮 Used it to clean sink drain and hood filter covers too. Again, lazier in HV but my sink is very clean now and I have no hood.

• Vacuum the aircon units - Helper used to wash the filters monthly. When I took over, I got more regular servicing instead. Then I forgot about the servicing one time and it was too close to school holidays; I prefer to do this when kids are not home. So I washed the filters myself. This is easy enough so I'm still doing it, plus brushing the coils. So far only need annual servicing :)

• Clean the microwave every week - when microwaving kitchen wiping cloths and sponge, the steam makes the inside of the microwave all wet, which makes it perfect for cleaning! I don't think it was ever cleaned before coz not in the task list, unless there were obvious stains...

• New for HV: Cleaning the corridor windows twice a year - these sliding windows get really dirty from dust! Sito will clean the corridor side while I handle the inside. Need a bottle spray, a squeegee and lots of rags! The casement windows in the bedrooms always get a wipe every time I change bedsheets.

Hmm, it looks like it's more than changing how things are done but also adding on things to do...

Anyway, hope this info is helpful for families who are looking to take over from a helper! :)

New CCA for all

On 9 January, Sito and I went to school for a talk for Sec 1 parents. It was the usual, but it was followed by a CCA fair. 

We met all three in the canteen when they were dismissed at 1.30 pm for lunch. Yang was to wait at the canteen while Yu attended his Higher Chinese extra lesson and the remaining three went for the CCA fair.

Kai eating rubbish for lunch *.*

Now, while their primary school allows kids to explore CCAs on a recreational basis, secondary school CCAs are a different ball game. Cannot just be recreational. Sports means school team. Everything has a competition or something.

If the school has chess, it would be easy. But it doesn't. We had gone through the CCA options with Kai based on information on the school website. But he wasn't terribly interested in anything. We shortlisted a few for him to seek out the booths to ask questions. 

At the fair, we started off walking around but Kai wasn't very into it. So Sito tasked him to go to the booths himself and come back to tell us details etc. We just stood at one side or checked out the booths on our own. Some kids also came up to us to tell us about their CCA. At one point, I told a kid to tell Kai, not tell me :p

Eventually, Kai signed up for four trials: basketball, badminton, track and field, and NPCC. We also filled up a form to inform the school of his interest in chess; we have already signed him up for the National Schools Individual Championship next week.

Going home after CCA fair - rare sight of them four (and me) on the bridge!

The trials started after LNY. He was told he didn't make it for basketball on the spot. He wasn't super keen on it but still felt bad. So that was a lesson in failure, gone through at lunch and again before his bedtime.

The next two trials were badminton and track/field. He didn't know the outcome immediately. But he said track/field was very tiring so even if he got in, he wasn't too keen. My son is a sedentary creature...

The last trial was NPCC. It seemed like more of an intro session than trial. They did some drills. Kai came back to say he loved it. Love ok, not just like. 

So it was good that he was eventually allocated his first choice - NPCC. 

It was his first session yesterday. We knew it started at 3pm but had no idea when it would end. We kept stalking him using the Find My app. He finally came home at 6.45 pm. 

So they had drills for some two hours. While the Sec 1s were in PE attire, the seniors were all in uniform. But they got their measurements ytd too so I suppose they would get their uniforms soon. Will post pictures later :)

As for his brothers, their CCAs started on the 15th day of LNY :p Yang came back to say track/field was fun, yeah! So happy that he enjoyed it! He ran like 10 rounds in the auditorium - with aircon, haha! 

I'm keeping my fingers crossed but it seems that since he started track/field, his poop became more frequent than every 10 days! Probably a combi of vigorous exercise and more water? 🤞 

On the other hand, Yu said robotics was boring - just talking. This was after he was so excited at getting this CCA. I told him there would probably be more hands-on stuff after the first intro session.. 

But it was still boring the second week. Finally, they got to build things from the third week and he was happy! He also asked for the Lego set - um, very expensive... Let's see how it goes...

How I met your mother, ver Clan Sito

I think it was the day when I brought Yang to the dermatologist after school so Sito had to fetch Yu home. They had an interesting convo on the bus.

Yu: How did you and Mama meet?
Papa: We met at a camp.
Yu: Did you meet in primary school? (maybe coz he knows of the P5 camp)
Papa: No..
Yu: If you met in primary school, she wouldn’t like you right? Coz you were fat. The fat boys in class are not liked.
Papa: Are you considered fat?
Yu: No.
Papa: Why are the fat boys not liked?
Yu: (unclear answer)

Digress a bit: I've not heard him mention any fat boys in his class. But it's sad if (he thinks) fat kids are not liked. When I asked him, it seemed that there was a fat boy in his class who was very loud. 

I know he really likes a couple of friends who have a smaller built than him. He finds them cute. I think he thinks he himself is small - vs. his brothers - and cute. When we watched 跑男，his fave player was 周深 coz "he is cute, like me"!

Anyway, continue...

Yu: Why did you choose Mama? She’s pretty right?
Papa: Pretty, smart and kind (woah, 💕 )
Yu: I knew you’d say that!

Yu: Since she's pretty, a lot of other people would have (chased) her?
Papa: Ya... (where's this going..)
Yu: Then why did mama choose you? Issit coz you’re handsome?
Papa: Go and ask Mama.

And so he did, later. And this was before I learnt of the above, coz I told Sito what Yu asked me then he told me *.*

Yu: Why did you choose Papa?
Mama: ...? Coz.. he’s charming!
Yu: What’s charming?
Mama: Eh papa, what’s charming?

Then 不了了之 :p

It was a few days later that I learnt that there was a part in his social studies about a couple who met at a cross country race at MacRitchie Reservoir, which led to his questions.

Let me end with another funny thing from Yu:

One day, Yu wanted candy.

Mama: Do I look like a candy shop?

Yu: No but you look like you’re made of money...

Mama: Huh?

Yu: Made of money = mom

!!!

The curious incident of the water bottles

I realised I didn't write about this. Probably busy then and forgot. 

Kai lost - and found - three water bottles in P5. First was on Thursday, 19 Oct 2023. He took a sip during maths and put it back in the side pocket of his bag. Then when he wanted his bottle again during the same maths lesson, it was gone.

Second was the next day, when he brought Yu's spare bottle. He came back from recess to find it gone from his bag. He didn’t bring it out for recess. He looked for his bottle in the general office and even under almost every desk in his classroom but to no avail. I wrote to the form teachers that day but didn't hear back from them.

Someone must have taken this bottles. So we told him to keep his next bottle in the main compartment of his bag. No problem for a few days until Friday, 27 October, when it was stolen again - when he returned from recess, his zipped bag was open and the bottle gone. His classmate E told him that he knew where the bottles were hidden but later said he knew nothing.

This time, I cc-ed the principal when I emailed his form teachers. This was clearly theft born out of mischief or bullying. It was water bottles today and it could be other things like his notes tomorrow. One of the teachers replied early the next day that they would investigate.

On 31 October, Kai said that a form teacher addressed the theft that morning. He also said L told him where his bottles were and he retrieved them. Apparently, the culprit told L about it.

On 1 November, a form teacher emailed to say that the teachers had addressed the issue at the class level, and had also identified and spoken to one of the students involved. Besides getting the students involved to apologise to Kai, the school would also mete out consequences.

We heard similar from Kai when he came home from CCA that day. So, S took the first two bottles coz Kai had annoyed him! S owned up to the teachers after the form teacher addressed the class.

We had already discussed with Kai about possible reasons for the theft, and agreed that if he had annoyed his classmate to such as extent, he should apologise to him as well. 

So that day, those two boys apologised to each other.

There was no closure at all on the third bottle. No reason for S to admit to two and not three so it was probably another kid. Probably a copycat coz it was hidden together with the first two bottles. We were just happy to get the bottles back.

Even better, this incident had a good learning point for Kai (hopefully be less annoying?!) and a good outcome for both boys - they became good friends, haha! They eventually went to different Sec 1 classes in the same school, and still met online and virtually to play chess.

Really a case of 不打不相识！

我要做回锅肉！

For some two years now, I have been saying bye bye to Kai at the door when he goes to school.

I think it was the week before LNY when I finally stopped sending Yang and Yu to the bus stop. Now, I wave bye bye to them at the door. Except if it rains - Mama will still hold the brolly for them as they go up the bus so that they don't have to carry a wet brolly for the next eight hours.

So I have developed a bad habit - going back to bed after the kids are gone!

There's a term for this in Chinese. But for the life of me, I just couldn't remember what it was! I kept thinking about 回锅肉 *.*

Eventually, I googled for it: 回笼觉

Too late. Now every day, I tell Sito I'm back to 做回锅肉 :p 

Actually, I don't think I ever went back to sleep. I just lie down, scroll Facebook, read news, or chat a bit with Sito if he's up. This 回锅肉 is "fully cooked" and ready to start the day when the sun comes up. 

Rise and shine indeed!

Valentine's Day

When was the last time I posted on about V Day?

In the past week whenever I turned on the radio, the DJs were going on and on about V Day and what presents to give or not to give. Is this a young people thing? For sure, very commercialised. I couldn't identify with presents coz I'm just not a presents person.

Every day is V Day with my hub anyway, haha! ✌️ 

But on Tuesday, Sito came back with Yang after his tuition, with a giant sunflower! So cheerful!

First spicy kimchi noodles after ulcer, made even happier with the sunflower :)

We had to cut half the stem to fit it into an empty nuts container. It's on the dining table so it's very visible and brings much cheer whenever I see it.

And the man taking the picture with two of his pups :)))

I love to see him 奶爸-ing! 💕 

Then on V Day, I went out with two girlfriends :p Breakfast with JY until lunchtime (!), and packed beehoon for Sito's lunch. KTV with CY and packed a brownie to share with him.

Coz, as we told the kids, V Day is also Friendship Day :)

Welcome to 蛇-plus year!

I really like all the cute 蛇 terms :p

LNY is always my fave festival - new clothes, lots of food, spring cleaning etc. What's not to like about it?

Well, this year, I developed an ulcer two weeks before LNY. It took a few days for the thing to erupt and hurt madly. 

I think someone up there played a nasty joke on me. The cut on my tongue tip made me look like I had a forked tongue! Snake year eh?? Sito said I would have a luscious lock of hair for horse year!!

Anyway, Jiejie managed to convince Mum not to cook reunion dinner. We went out on Monday for dinner at Yan Palace instead - couldn't get a spot on Tuesday. So old-school. Nice feelings. Yummy food. Ulcer diary: a crushed peanut from the yusheng hurt me badly :(

Yu discovered funny reflections in the train on the way home

Found those new tees while clearing drawers :p And I suddenly remember they still have more new clothes! Better bring out to let them wear next week....

Kai was wearing a mask as he started coughing after returning from his camp. In fact, he had to skip his school LNY celebrations due to his cough.

Just these two wearing red to school

Yu said he wasn't a dragon so he shouldn't wear this dragon shirt *.* Yang was wearing a generic red shirt - which he will wear for National Day too, yeah!

On Tuesday, we had dinner at Mother's. It was some years since we went there for reunion dinner so I was really looking forward to it. And there were curry and fried prawns! Ulcer diary: a bit of rice and prawn hurt me badly :(

Kids eating on coffee table :p

Happy Snake Year!

The kids 拜年 at home and then we set off for Mother's place. I couldn't have any of the snacks :( In fact, Sito had been having snacks at night and I could only watch :(

Next was lunch at AhYee's. There were fried prawns too! I could only have one. And I didn't have any yusheng. Ulcer diary: that one prawn hurt me badly :(

In fact, Wednesday was a super painful day. If I were at home, I'd tuck myself under the sheets and sleep it off... But it was LNY day 1. I should be thankful I could talk ok. And my arms were ok too coz I carried a new baby of the family!

Baby girls are just softer :))

Last on the itinerary for day 1 was dinner at Mum's. In the end, she cooked what she wanted to cook for reunion dinner, haha! Ulcer diary: nothing sharp, yeah!

Day 2 was spent at home. The original plan for hotpot didn't materialise due to my ulcer. But the ulcer seemed to feel better until after a porridge dinner. Hurt again, sighs. But it got better from there. On day 5, I finally managed to eat whatever I like :)

But there were only fewer than five pineapple tarts in the box!! Luckily I have two more boxes :p

Yes, I now have competitors!!! But very happy to see the kids eating all these traditional LNY snacks :)

We had hotpot finally on the Saturday after Yang returned from his camp. It was the usual food except for the noodles - I made them myself! 

See the plate with the dough?

Pull it long, and divide it along the pre-depressed line

Kai also had a go at it!

But the kids didn't like the noodles. Standard. Sito and I found it so yummy though!

On Sunday, Mum prepared a feast in celebration of the 15th day of LNY - in advance... So much for not cooking, haha! I finally had as much yusheng as I liked though :p And the big pot of poon choy... Too excited to eat so no proper picture...

For the actual 15th day on Wednesday, I made meat dumplings instead of glutinous rice dumplings. Had wanted to involve the kids but it just so happened that Yang and Yu had CCA and Kai had VIA - values in action - so they came back when I was already wrapping the dumplings.

26 dumplings - two not on the baking paper - with some 350g mince+cabbage

Dumplings with mee sua

So happy that Yang and Yu liked the dumplings! Kai said taste ok but he didn't like it *.* Somehow, Yang and Yu can never finish mee sua! Actually we didn't know this was mee sua coz it just said noodles on the packaging! Bought from Scarlett supermarket - I really like their stuff :)

That wraps up our LNY. We still feel it from all the snacks though, haha! It's now routine for Sito and me to snack on a variety while watching drama at night :)

Yang goes camping!

My Yang Yang went camping last week!

Before he went, he said he didn't like it coz of what he heard from Kai - dirty toilets and milo which was like water with brown colouring *.*

We told him to go with an open mind. After all, Kai also enjoyed his P5 camp in the end. And be safe - listen to the teachers and instructors!

But a week or so before the camp, we got bad news from the school - due to higher levels of bacteria in the waters where they were supposed to go kayaking, this batch would not have kayaking :(

I still pack his wet shoes in case his old shoes - from last year and worn to Japan! - gave up during the camp. These wet shoes were from the grands who bought the wrong size or something. 

Ready for camp with his barang barang on Wednesday

The week or so before LNY, I stopped sending Yang and Yu to the bus stop. So when I realised it was raining, I changed quickly and chased after these two. I always shelter them up the bus if it rains. More important this time in case Yang gets wet and falls ill during the camp!

Yu was sad to see him go to camp, awww... Missed this sweet boy, especially at night...

Sito had to fetch Yu on Wednesday and Thursday as Kai would be late. And Kai helped send Yu to school on Thursday - he usually leaves before his brothers but this time, he was so patient and even asked me where he should drop him off! It was HBL for Yu on Friday so no ferry duty.

I kept checking the parents' chat group near noon as they were supposed to return from camp to school by noon. Happy to see that his class was one of the first two classes to go back! He reached home about 12.45 pm, coming in all smiley with a cap on his head - super cute but I didn't have free hands to grab the camera..

So yes, the toilets were gross. He said he held his poop but thankfully, he managed to poop a lot that day and the next couple of days! Guess the school made them guzzle lots of water...

But the milo was great! He even told Kai that it wasn't water with brown colouring haha! But his fave was the breakfast - char kway teow one day and bee hoon the next. He couldn't have a second serving for the former but he had three servings of the latter! He also brought back a lot of banana-flavoured cake and Khong Guan biscuits. 

A funny thing - I found a pack of Khong Guan biscuits in the washing machine after washing his bag. Oops, must have missed that... But it was still crunchy! Fantastic packaging, I say!

Anyway, he also enjoyed the campfire. He said he was shy but he put on his cap to overcome his shyness and managed to do the campfire dance. The campfire was top of his list :)

He also happened to be in the same tent as his BFF ET, for which he was very happy. At one point, there was some mix-up in the sleeping bag coz one kid kept pulling other bags somehow - the kids probably all had the same one from Decathlon! But luckily he brought the right one home. The second night was spent on a bed in a dormitory.

There was also outdoor cooking, amazing race and low element activities. But they were not allowed to eat their pizza, and for good measure, I guess - who knows how hygiene the process had been?! :p

So even though his first response to me was that the camp was meh, it seemed like he had a good time :)

But he seemed to have caught a bug from the camp, just like Kai who had to miss LNY celebrations in school due to a cough. 

On Saturday, he didn't feel well after lunch - which happened to be hotpot like for Kai's P5 camp. We were supposed to go to Macs for dinner, his choice as Kai chose Macs when he returned from his S1 camp. But they returned from the playground just as we were about to go pick them up, and Yang looked pale and felt dizzy.

In the end, Sito brought Kai and Yu for dinner downstairs while I stayed home with Yang. I brought him to wash hands and sat him down in front of the basin while I went to change out of my street clothes.

I regret not handing him the vomit pail. I heard him puke as I went back to him. Sighs... Let him vomit it out on the floor ba... When he felt better, he took a shower while I cleaned up the mess. I used up a lot of old cloths and a mid-sized bag. Gross. But I managed to clean up before he came out of the shower. 

But before he managed to pull on his pyjamas pants, he had to puke. This time, he got to the toilet in time, yeah! And this time, he really felt better coz he agreed to having some food. Sito packed ban mian for him - this boy likes it after having it a couple of times during the recent raining weekends.

When we were at AhMa's place the next day, he declined Ferrero Rocher coz he thought he might have eaten too many on Saturday before he puked - he had six. These kids had no control over snacks if we turned our head...

He didn't go to school ytd coz he said his tummy still felt weird after breakfast and he was afraid he might vomit on his way into school like last time - can't remember when though. So Sito and I took turns to go through all his subjects. At the end of the day, he said it was worse than going to school haha!

Today, he said his tummy felt worse. But he didn't say he would stay home. I gave him a bigger pair of pants coz his old ones were pressing on his belly, and a plastic bag. So far, no phone call. So ok, I guess he's fine!

Hope my sweet boy gets well soon!

Update on the new school year

After a week plus of orientation, Kai's lessons finally started on 13 January. How pleasantly surprised we were to hear that he likes secondary school! Coz the teacher taught fast and the classmates didn't talk all the time. Hmmm...

Unlike in primary school, he seems to have more homework these days. He's quite independent and can do his own work until he faces difficulties. Then it's "Papa! Papa!" or "Mama! Mama!" from his room, regardless of where we are...

His first major assignment was a writeup for LNY, in preparation for Chinese WA. It was a nightmare in general knowledge, organisation and expression. Told him he couldn't just copy whole passages from his research. So he translated that into English, and back-translated into Chinese instead of using his own words! Must applaud his ingenuity but please, really work on expressing yourself in Chinese!

Kai also started having English tuition after a trial on Saturday, 11 January. It was at Bishan Central but in the end, we chose the Monday evening slot at the Junction 8 branch instead. It turned out that we had to change to Saturdays for two weeks in January due to his camp and a reunion dinner...

Happy with a kabab roll from pasar malam after tuition

The brothers had their usual "Care Week" and started lessons same day as Kai. But I think they started on some lessons here and there before that...

This year, they come home on their own Monday to Wednesday as Kai's day ends at 2.30 pm for those days. So I also cook less lunch coz Kai would have lunch in school at 2.30 pm. I wonder why they don't give a lunch break and end school later. The lunch timing is really bad... In fact, with such a late lunch and with recess also late at 11 am, I started making breakfast for Kai. Then his brothers wanted breakfast too so I think I end up cooking way more *.*

They sent me a photo taken with the smart watch while waiting for the bus home one day

We started drilling working with Yang every day after school. Sito would go through all subjects except Chinese, to reinforce what he has learnt that day. I was pleasantly surprised that he took all this in his stride. I mean, he complained a great deal last year when doing papers... But for the past few weeks, he has been listening to Papa and doing his work. 

As for Chinese, he really doesn't like it... But no choice, especially when he just came back yesterday with 10/40 for a compo! We went through the relevant topic and he even told me the whole story based on the pictures one day before the class assignment. But he hardly wrote beyond the first two pictures in the end. He said he was thinking what to write until he ran out of time. 

Sito told him to describe each picture again before doing his correction, which was to copy out a model compo. Wasn't well done. I think he didn't know how to write the words and couldn't express himself properly in the language... He's away at camp now. Will work with him later...

Yang also started English tuition yesterday evening. After our experience with Kai, we decided to take the plunge and start Yang early. Hope this can help improve his English - he still has a spelling issue but at least need to nail his grammar and S&T and compre etc.

Sito sent him and waited for him there. The tutor said he was very active in class! When I asked him about it, he said he couldn't sit for two hours, Jialat! But this social butterfly had already spoken with all six or seven boys, but not the two girls... So free in class?! 

Good big brother to his only DiDi

As for Yu, he had his first HCL extra class on 9 January. Then he regretted taking HCL coz more time in school, haha! Too late, my dear. Must take whole year before I allow you to drop!

As we focus more on Yang, Yu hasn't had much to do so far. Anyway, he is more like Kai, can do his work independently. So when he has nothing to do, he sleeps or plays with soft toys or helps me with housework.

Bia-ing homework at AhMa's place on Sunday coz he forgot to do earlier

Washing grapes

They all need to choose their CCA. More on Kai's separately as trials are still ongoing...

Yang wanted to join badminton again so that he could be with his best friend but we knew from his P3 experience that it was too crowded so we dissuaded him. He wanted art then but we had then learnt more about secondary school CCAs so we encouraged / persuaded / psycho-ed / convinced him to pick something that he could continue in secondary school. 

But we let art be his second choice, after track and field. Next two choices are basketball and robotics but art would definitely have a slot if he didn't get into track. When we received notification that he got into track and told him, he wasn't happy. He said he chose it coz of us :( Just try and see how...

During our recent fortnightly Sunday visits, Yang and Yu played badminton with AhYe downstairs. So Yu also wanted badminton. But too late :p And for the same crowdedness reason, we rather he didn't. He put robotics as his first choice. As a P3 CCA first timer, he had a good chance to get in. Next are track, chess and art. Indeed, he got into his first choice and was very happy to hear about it.

Both Yang and Yu will start their CCA next Wednesday. All the best!

Navigating Singapore's health sector

Apart from giving birth and the many A&E trips (see list in annex :p), I have not used our health services much, thankfully, until lately.

As a kid, we mostly went to a GP for common childhood fevers, colds and coughs. The middle age doc nearby who gave bright green strange tasting syrup, the old Yoda-lookalike doc near Grams who wore a tie and gave bitter powder, and from my teens onwards, the two pretty docs nearer Yan's place (but still near me) who gave me much comfort.

We went to the polyclinic too. All I could remember was waiting, waiting and waiting! Probably went there for baby wellness coz YQ's childhood glaucoma was first diagnosed there.

So I never went back to polyclinic as an adult. It was always GP.

But now the polyclinics are so good. Ok, I don't know about Singhealth or NHG but my area is under NUHS, and all I need to do is to click a few buttons to make an appointment, check in for my visit, check number of patients before me, check where to go next, pay and retrieve bills and reports. The wait time is very acceptable and sometimes surprisingly short.

How do I know? How do I know indeed!

We started using the polyclinic coz a new one opened in Bukit Panjang, but more for injuries etc, in case need referrals for further treatment. Like Yang fell and hurt his shin in school. I think we still went to Raffles at the mall downstairs for regular illnesses and to grab MC for work purpose. 

But I never found a GP I'm comfortable with while staying at BP. The doctors at Raffles are all on rotation. Once I even had one who spilled my blood on the floor when drawing blood, goodness! So I went back to Dr Gill at HV for health checkup and PAP - not having a random doctor for the latter!

Guess it's good that we're making home at HV again?!

Anyway, polyclinic. We went to the polyclinic even more after moving to HV. Sito cut his toe on the metal gate and went for a tetanus shot. I also had a tetanus shot given my frequent brushes with the kitchen knife...! I had a skin issue on a toe - forgot the name - and had to go burn it off with silver nitrate. Yang had a rash on his face and got a referral to the Skin Centre. And of course my intestinal issue.

This intestinal issues opened my eyes to our healthcare sector. Here are some thoughts:

First - how do things work?

Hint: Not everything is automated

I was referred to a specialist at Alexander Hospital who sent me for a CT scan and then scopes. I paid for the CT scan using Medisave and cash.

But I have been paying for an Integrated Shield Plan (ISP) with Great Eastern (GE) since 2014/2015. Even if Medishield doesn't cover outpatient CT scans, wouldn't the GE portion cover? 

I asked the staff at the CT scan. They said only Medisave, and were not sure about the ISP. So I went back to ask my agent. He advised me to ask the hospital staff to do e-file at my next visit since I was going back for more stuff.

However, the financial counsellor for my scopes said over the phone that she couldn't do e-file for CT scan. I tried again at my next physical visit to the hospital, which was for the gynae consultation. The registration counter said they did not do e-file there and told me to pay first and then claim from insurance.

*.*

After my first scopes in June, I still had to pay using Medisave due to deductible and co-payment. There was no ISP payout as I hadn't met the deductible. After my second scope in September, Medishield kicked in and I paid a little for the co-payment using Medisave. The GE portion did not kick in.

I wondered why so I did some digging - coz I forgot details told to me when I signed up! - and found that:

• Medishield does not cover pre- and post-hospitalisation. So the CT scan and all the consultations were outpatient, not hospitalisation = not covered.
• GE (or whatever insurer you have) kicks in only when the hospitalisation exceeds Medishield limits and when Medishield does not cover the specific procedure.
• GE also covers pre and post relating to the hospitalisation. So I found out how to claim pre- and post-hospitalisation bills. 

After my final visit in October, I put together all my receipts and relevant reports from the hospital, and sent them in. I was pleasantly surprised that I got $1,259 in claims within two weeks, largely cash and some Medisave, from the GE portion of the ISP. 

Recently, I put together all the expenses in an Excel sheet, with details from CPF statement, hospital bills and GE statements. Of my total bill of $3,675, I paid $1,798 using Medisave and $56 using cash, the remainder of $1,820 was covered by the ISP, of which only $560 was via auto e-file at the hospital. 

The amount is more than what I had paid for the GE portion in the past 10 years ✌ Later, I discovered I should have included the polyclinic bills too but too late, gone from the system + much smaller amount.

Point is - now imagine if someone less savvy didn't know about pre and post claims. That's good money out of pocket!

Next - time:

When we talk healthcare, we often think money. But there's also time. By the time I was done with my final consultation with the gastro specialist, it was almost a year since I went to the polyclinic. 

There was a lot of time between appointments. I think it was because I opted for subsidised treatment and I didn't have a nasty prognosis.

Now that's scary if I had something nasty! 

But while researching the ISPs recently, we found that in the case of critical illnesses, the wait time for subsidised treatment should not kill you, haha! Indeed, a friend went to polyclinic which told her to go straight to A&E as they suspected meningitis. It was ruled out at A&E but she had a blood culture taken. Next thing she knew, the hospital called her back to be warded immediately for a bacteria infection.

Third - of course, finances:

Cost of healthcare depends on the individual, e.g. type of ward, public or private hospital. But it also depends on the healthcare provider.

I have already chosen subsidised care to minimise my costs as covered in my first point. But does the healthcare provider think about minimising cost to patients as well, besides providing financial counselling?

I recall in previous conversations with XY, she mentioned over treatment in the US. I don't think it's an issue here. Or at least I have not witnessed it. Our polyclinics also kind of make sure that we get a referral to a specialist only if they can't handle - I mean, I went to the polyclinic twice before I got referred to gastro! Same for Yang's rash.

But I have this other issue - over the years, I get prescribed the same types of medicine for my colds etc. Those little packs accumulate in the medicine cabinet and expire, some nearly untouched. After clearing up my medicine cabinet one day some years ago, I've learnt to say no to the usual paracetamol and lozenges. But it is usually at the point of getting medicine, just before paying. 

I remember only one instance where the GP told me exactly what he would prescribe for me - I was surprised but very happy as I was able to ask questions and say no to some before they started packing the medicine. Other times, I was probably too ill to think until the medicine was placed in front of me.

For other ailments, the doctors would generally say this cream or that coz must explain how to apply etc. Anyway, for Yang's recent pus-in-toe (not ingrown in the end), I brought along my own antibiotic cream to ask the doctor if he could use that coz those tend to accumulate too!

Knowing my medicines, I save money and clutter and waste.

But this may not be the case for other patients, especially those with very good insurance coverage - insurance will pay, so just consume max. And this begs the question of whether healthcare providers think the same - insurance will pay so just provide/charge max.

Raffles and even my old GP in later years would ask at the point of registration if the fees would be covered by insurance. And my delivery fees went from $2k for Kai to $4k for Yang - for Yang, I had to ask the doctor to sign some documents for Sito's company insurance. I changed to another OBGYN for Yu.

So....

Years back, I wrote about healthcare costs in SG vs. Evanston. I don't know with all this insurance business, whether our healthcare costs will remain affordable in the long run. 

Fourth - healthcare for all

I only had three points until I learnt of an incident lately which got me wondering... This is not my personal experience but I thought I should highlight it too.

I mentioned above that a friend was admitted for a bacteria infection. She was supposed to stay for five days for IV antibiotics. Due to bed crunch, the hospital wanted to send her home before the five days were up, for home care for 14 days, during which she would not be allowed to leave home. 

When she wanted to just stay in hospital for 14 days instead, the hospital changed its mind and discharged her anyway but she had to return daily for four days of IV and then take seven days of oral antibiotics. 

Maths tells me that the number of IV + oral antibiotics days has been reduced. Was her healthcare compromised? At the end of it, she did recover. But the process, to me at least, wasn't very pleasant.

I understand the need to cater to everyone. All the talk about our ageing population taking a toll on the healthcare system isn't just talk. It is understandable to ask less critical cases - or cases that are no longer critical - to make way for critical cases. But it should be done with finesse, no? I think bedside manner is just about as important as the treatment itself, if only to seek greater understanding from patients and their family.

Aftermath

Anyway, after going through the bills and GE statements, Sito and I dug deeper into ISPs. So besides what I mentioned above, our A/B1-type ISP was meant for (a) non-subsidised components such as choosing a doctor, and (b) A/B1 ward stays with less/no subsidies.

Now that Medishield has increased its coverage, and we are going for subsidised treatments and ward stays, we figured there was no need for our A/B1-type ISP. So we downgraded our ISP to the standard one, covering B2 and below ward stays - we are ok with no aircon.

The delta in premiums between these two is not much at this point, as the bulk is still Medishield itself. But with age, the GE part will increase a lot. So it makes sense for us to just switch based on our needs. Seriously, I also don't know why we took the more expensive plan last time - Sito's was from eons ago whereas mine was a copycat of his. Ya I know, I didn't do my research...

But it's never too late!

And we just got ISPs for the kids as well, since we're already paying for Medishield. They're young and the premiums are low. The Medisave interest will take care of everything.

*** *** ***

Annex

Sep 2005: my tummy

Jan 2007: my thumb

Jan 2013: Kai's fever

Feb 2013: Kai's fever

Jun 2013: Kai's HFMD

Jul 2013: Kai's fever

(Ya, first-time parents... No more A&E for fevers for the brothers!)

Jul 2015: Yang's fall

Jan 2016: Yang's febrile fit 1

Jun 2016: Yang's febrile fit 2

Jul 2016: Yang's febrile fit 3

Nov 2016: Sito's tummy

Mar 2019: Yu's eye

Apr 2019: Sito's ribs

May 2019: Yu's scalp

Aug 2021: Yang's tummy

Jan 2022: my head

Feb 2023: Yang's tummy