mf's mini world of mf-ism
- a ton of fluff and a tiny dose of non-fluff
Friday 11 October 2024
The last eight
Monday 7 October 2024
A lesson
Written 28 Sep on my phone and edited 7 Oct to post.
This week, I learnt a valuable lesson.
Context first. I have a few good friends with whom I text regularly, usually over random and/or mundane stuff in our lives and news and funny stuff etc. These include tak glam pictures of ourselves coz funny or hey, look at my new black facial sheet mask!
One of these friends - let’s call him X - made a couple of WhatsApp stickers using my headshots. One was me in a period costume headdress as I was playing with an app - quite funny. One was a photo of me taken over tea one day - I purposely made a funny face. Ugly but I love that funny expression. Oh that's the current headshot on this blog :)
A few days ago, can’t remember what we were saying but he asked me to send him a new ugly photo to make into a sticker. I was like, you think I’m crazy? I left it at that.
Yesterday, I was on my phone with my face mask on. X sent me a link to Instagram. I knew I would need glasses to read the text so I replied to say I couldn’t read coz no glasses. And I attached a photo of myself with face mask on, setting it to view once only so my ugly shot won’t be in cyberspace forever.
But shortly, I found that photo in a sticker in a group chat among another good friend, X and me!
I messaged X directly to ask how come he could do that when I set it to view once. He said secret. Then I told him it was very mean of him to do that coz I meant to only say why I couldn’t wear glasses, not for him to make into a sticker.
When he replied that it wasn’t clear, I stopped replying. How can it not be clear when I set it to view once??
I was very pissed with him. I questioned our friendship in my head:
- With a friend like this, who needs enemies?!
- Is he still a friend when he does such things? Depends - he has clearly taken it for granted that it’s ok to play tricks on good friends. I have three boys who think it’s ok to play tricks on each other but they are kids...
- Has he been a good friend otherwise? Yes. We supported each other through difficult times, and share a common interests.
- Is it worth ending a friendship over this? No, given the above.
I also asked myself - what specifically was I angry about? Actually I’m happy enough with myself. See my blog headshot - I don’t mind looking ugly. But I mind when people take things out of context and without permission. That is not right.
There was another photo incident with another good friend many years ago. Let’s call her Y.
It was the time of film cameras so we didn’t get to preview photos and delete unwanted ones straightaway. One day, we placed her camera on timer mode to take a wefie. When the photos came back from the shop some days later, we found that the wefie showed a bit of my underwear as my shorts were opening towards the camera.
Horrified, I asked Y to throw that away but she refused. I was upset with her. But we remained friends.
Years on, I was at her place browsing old photos when I saw that photo again, this time pasted in a big album. Does that mean anyone browsing her albums can see me exposed?? I asked her to throw it away again but again, nope. Then at least please just cover it up. I “no eye see” already. We never spoke of that photo again.
Not that I had forgotten about it. I once went round the table to take photos of my friends at a dinner gathering. Again it was a film camera. One shot came back exposing a friend as she was wearing a loose blouse and bending forward. I dumped that photo without hesitation and no one else set eyes on it. Coz I know what it’s like. Even if I did not have such an experience, I would have dumped it anyway coz it’s a mistake in the first place.
Anyway, the lesson. Or lessons.
Don’t trust technology to protect me 100%.
More importantly, look after myself more. It’s also my fault to allow these to happen. I should have protected myself and check my attire before taking the wefie. I should not have itchy fingers - why did I send candid photos of myself to friends, view once or not?!
Recognise that anyone - family, good friends - can take me for granted. I find it hard to say “don’t trust anyone” coz how to live when there’s no trust? So I need to recognise this in order to own the responsibility to protect myself. Or maybe just "don’t take it for granted that people will be kind"...
Told JY about this without mentioning names and her response was that she couldn't imagine me scolding a friend. Guess that says something about me too. I must stand up for myself!
So anyway, I scolded X. He apologised.
Tuesday 1 October 2024
The work desk
Wednesday 11 September 2024
Our first tween
Recently, he's starting to slouch again. He was slouching a lot in the months before we moved and then improved. I'm guessing he's slouching again coz he's gaining height again.
Mama doesn't want to see naked boys anymore!
But he still has milk teeth coz these three started teething rather late. Just this month, he dropped two teeth three days apart.
Monday 9 September 2024
A rather studious week
What we did not do:
One year in!
And the kids have broken the soft closing function of not one but two toilet seats! Haha!
Wednesday 14 August 2024
因为我还年轻
Monday 12 August 2024
Happy 59th!
Revelation thanks to Bridget
Monday 15 July 2024
Kai is 12?!
Tuesday 2 July 2024
Yang is a decade old!
On the morning of Yang's birthday, we headed out for breakfast. Our doting Papa Sito then tried to find Mr Beast chocolate as Yang said his friend told him it was yummy. We saw it in the nearby supermarket before but couldn't find it this time. Later in the morning, Sito tried two candy stores nearby to no avail...
Friday 28 June 2024
如何保持苗条、健康?
一月:新的一年,新的学年,先吃个开心!Auntie 我生日,吃蛋糕,吃大餐!
Friday 21 June 2024
A thought about plastic bags
I remember having a huge store of plastic bags from supermarkets when we had a helper. After we axed the helper, the store dwindled down to a very manageable number - always enough for rubbish with no more than a few extras just in case.
In the old house, the rubbish chute was next to the lift. I only wanted to go out max once a day to throw rubbish coz I was fearful of the small (heng!) cockroaches which were often around the chute. Once, I opened the chute to find it filled with a big item that didn't go down and I had to spend more time there to push it down - didn't know which neighbour, grrrr...
* These are the rolled bags in supermarkets used to contain loose items of vege and fruits. I also use them to contain meat packs in case meat juices leak out. Still free in supermarkets but they seem thinner these days...
So I used at least one bag per day for rubbish in the old house. On Fridays when I empty the vacuum, it's plus one. Now, I throw out one bag every two to four days. No, not gross at all.
- Small carrier bags, e.g. bakery, Old Chang Kee, clinic - perfect for the vacuum dust box or barley from our weekly boil. They get tied and fed directly to the chute.
- Big carrier bags, e.g. Daiso - store recycleable stuff until it's full enough to bring to the blue bin downstairs. This also helps to protect the recycleables from contaminants.
- "Untieable" bags, e.g. Watsons - I don't take them but Sito sometimes blur blur brings one home. Tie with rubber bands if I have any, or use it for recycleables.
- Give all the plastic bags you receive from shopping a second chance - these may be carrier bags, supermarket clear bags or bakery bun bags. Keep the big ones for lining the bin and use the small ones for peskier rubbish. Other shapes and sizes can be use to contain recycleables.
- Fill up each bin bag so there's no wasted space - separating your waste can extend the lifespan of the bigger bin bags until they're full. Just throw peskier waste in smaller bags or keeping them in the fridge until you're ready to empty the bin.