Living life

My colleague sent me a link to a clip from Oprah on Randy Pausch's last lecture.

I like it.

I guess what really strikes a chord with me are all the positive vibes from a dying man. Btw he is still alive as of today.

What would you do if you know you have only a few months to live?

Some may see me as a positive person now. But I did - still do - have negative and even morbid moments, especially when I was a kid. I remember trying to suffocate myself in a pillow when I was a kid cos I felt so abandoned when upon coming home from a cousin's place, I heard that my father had brought my siblings to the pool. Yes I couldn't swim at all and to this day still cannot claim that I can swim but I loved going to the pool!

Other instances, I just wasn't happy about my family, my friends in secondary school, the way I looked, the behaviour of some people, repetitive homework, the weather, the smell of the air etc... And because of these, I was grouchy a lot of the time. Although, to the credit of my genes or a forgetful mind, I cheered up pretty easily too.

Over the years, especially the last ten years or so, I have let go a great deal. I realise how there is no point being bothered by all these trivialities, especially when these are things I have no control over; what I can control is how I react. If I can better things, I will try, otherwise, I live with it or walk away for more able people to deal with it. There is really no point dwelling on unhappiness if that makes me even more unhappy.

Back to the question, if my body gives up on me, I wish my spirit doesn't so that I could still have a positive impact on my loved ones. I mean, I don't need to change the world, make it a better place. If I can effect something positive on people around me, I think that is enough.

Thinking about the lecture, I think we should live life such that we can answer to ourselves and not shortchange ourselves - that sounds weird in English.. 做人要对得起自己! 前阵子听到一句 “活在当下”，意思应该是不要活在不愉快－ 甚至是愉快－ 的过去，也不要太幻想着未来而疏忽了现在、错过了眼前的一切。但我想加一句 “明天会更好”，因为没理由活在不愉快的当下啊！应该开朗一些，带着过去的人生经历、抱着积极的态度展望未来，不是吗？

Sure, cynics roll their eyes but well, it doesn't matter cos I'm happy the way I am! :)

So, am I Tigger or Eeyore? :) I prefer to be a cheerful Tigger but who sometimes likes to curl up - and not necessarily in a corner - to play with her (this one's a she!) tail and reflect on things..

But I think I am actually more of a Pooh.. You know, all the digging into honey and stuff :p

Links to the lecture:
1) Full version - in six parts including an introduction and ending speeches but you can just watch parts 1-4 (90min or so)
2) Single version of the lecture sans intro and ending (76min)
3) Condensed version on Oprah (11min) - this is what led me to google for the original lecture

Happy holiday :)