We benefitted from the Baby Bonus three times. Yeah, free money! But every time it came up in the news, I couldn't help feeling upset when I read people's comments.
The Baby Bonus is a support for child-raising among those who want children, not an encouragement for having children if you don't want (more) children. People should not have a child for such monetary gifts. If they do, I seriously doubt their credibility to be good parents.
The latest is this new Baby Support Grant to encourage couples who want a child to not delay trying for one. But can $3,000 really help if the couple already has difficulties during this pandemic?
The amount of money needed to raise a child is way higher than any Baby Bonus. The amount of effort and time too. Not to mention foregone income, holidays, freedom and even glamour.
Before kids, I dressed up anytime I liked. With kids, I dressed up for work on weekdays and went into auntie mode on weekends - no makeup, no hairdo, no jewellery, not even my wedding ring - until recently. Due to WFH, I don't dress up for work anymore. To make me happier, I dress up every fortnight - to go to the grands, haha! Helps that the kids are bigger now and can leave my hips.. Daddies aren't spared too; Sito has been carrying the baby bag for years, including a girly Kate Spade :p
Mummy duties don't care that I'm dressed up...
While the Baby Bonus didn't play a role in our decision to have three kids, it definitely helped defray costs in the first couple of years. It's like the surprise hongbao from a distant relative - good to have, just don't expect it and don't expect it to make much of a dent in the course of raising a child.
The money is long gone now. What has really helped all these years is the more intangible stuff.
At lunch with ex-boss on Thursday, she mentioned how she didn't enjoy her maternity leave in the early 2000s and went back to work after six weeks. I recalled my own maternity leave with much joy though. At home, I entertained myself with drama or books after entertaining the baby. And I was always up for going outside with baby in my arms or on my chest.
It helped that the malls were very mum/baby-friendly by then. While Kai was super easy to nurse even while walking, Yang and Yu did better in a nursing room, and nursing rooms were plenty and mostly clean. Diaper changing areas are essential and easily found. And it's not just the malls - I have fond memories of nursing in GBTB amid the flowers, hoho!
These seem trivial but they really did make life with an infant so much more enjoyable and easier. The boys also liked being outside - so much more to see. I can't imagine being holed up at home with a crying baby!
Before COVID-19 came into our life, we were often at playgrounds outside. We are really lucky in Singapore - every housing estate has a playground or more, and many malls also have free playgrounds. There are - or were? - also plenty of chargeable playgrounds for parents to indulge or babysit their kids.
Moving to BP, we also get to enjoy walking around a big pond nearby though we haven't done that as much as I would like to. There are many nature trails as well, and I'm keen to explore them now that the kids are old enough.
I can think of only one complaint now - many family packages are meant for two adults and two children, which are not very helpful for us!! A couple of weeks ago, we were trying to book a staycation for December but we couldn't find one with a decent price coz with five, only the biggest rooms in the fancy hotels can accommodate us :( Else, they offered two rooms which totally defy the reason for the staycation in the first place.
To think that I would have loved to have four - I had hoped for two boys and two girls way back! But we started late and chasing after tots gets harder with age, Sito not keen for so many, and we would dread a fourth boy, hoho! Ok la, at least we can still fit into a taxi.. Yesterday, I learnt that Kai's current (:p) best pal has five siblings *.* Gosh... This one can take only public transport or need two taxis/cars!
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