Let's start with getting hitched.
Sito told me about a Reddit thread he saw, where a woman in her late 20s asked for a seemingly regular guy - at least 173cm (reasonable for her height which is same as mine), income at least $70k (same as hers), ok looking, +/- 4yo.
Sounds reasonable until someone pointed out that, 173cm already eliminated half of the men in Singapore. And for those age groups, $70k a year is median income or above, which eliminated another 50%. That left her with the top 25% of men even if she's not fussy with looks. But remember, we need to eliminate those married or attached so in reality, her reasonable requirements meant she was looking at the top 10%??
Of course these are simple maths. But I doubt the reality is that far from above. What it means is that... I'm very lucky! Hahaha! (But that's not the point of Sito telling me that though he puffed up a bit, hoho!)
More seriously, it means you need to find someone during school days or have a really, really large social network.
Ok, what now when hitched? I assume the couple will get married and then they'll decide between a dog and a kid. Or none. For kids, see my other post.
(Meanwhile, down there at Mdm 孟婆's, the poor chap also gotta choose between a dog and a baby?!)
Honestly, kids can be a handful. Even one kid can be a handful. But I look at our boys, I cannot imagine not having them.
Of course sometimes Sito and I do imagine not having them :p "What would we be doing?"
- Continue working
- Get a pet
- Buy more bags, eat out more, hang out more with friends, etc
- Go on more holidays
The answers aren't all that appealing...
Work was never a rat race for me but I don't know how meaningful it could continue to be. I have been watching loads of cat videos lately but honestly, after wiping bums for 10y, I really don't think I want to clean up poop all the time! As for the rest, I don't know how meaningful they are after a while...
Inevitably, this discussion will lead back to our everyday life. Yes - tiring (wake at 6.10am for school), chaotic (fighting for toilet etc) and frustrating (why cannot read P1 Chinese words?!). But also - cute (each in his own way), sweet (hugs) and satisfying (each has his own achievements).
So ya, won't have it any other way now :)
I wouldn't encourage everyone to have (more) kids though. Coz I'm not the one supporting your kids :p
But to support those who want more kids, I think the following areas could be considered by both government and society.
HDB
Even 5-room flats and bigger have only three bedrooms, i.e. one for parents, one for boys and one for girls issit? I don't understand why we're still expected to live like in kampung. The young boys and girls are going to grow up and need privacy.
For those with kids of the same gender, one for sleeping and one for studying issit? Hasn't COVID WFH and HBL taught us that it's very difficult to work and, worse, do Zoom discussions in the same room even with earphones?! Same gender also needs privacy... Or even if they don't need privacy, especially boys who can run about the house naked (roll my eyes), I would want to separate the kids or no one gets any sleep!
There's the renovation route - I have seen creative solutions effectively separating one room into two but with bunk beds. Not the friendliest when it comes to changing bedsheets. Taller kids may find it claustrophobic to work at the desk under the bed. And older kids may not appreciate bunk beds that much.
Besides the limited number of jumbo flats, I've only known private housing to have more bedrooms but not everyone can afford that. I wonder if HDB can offer bigger BTO flats with more bedrooms and allow only bigger families to select them. If there are no takers, they can convert to smaller flats for the actual building and offer them as balance of sale.
Taxi
We've given up on cabs already. Starting from maybe two years ago, we could hardly fit into a regular taxi as Kai was the size of an adult and Yu was getting too heavy to sit on my lap. But a six-seater taxi is quite ex - about 50% more ex! - so just use it for airport trips or heading home late or going somewhere far, which are all thankfully rare occasions for us.
But there are families who may find public transport challenging, e.g. younger kids are super tired from a day at the zoo - I totally feel that coz it happened to us before. No choice but to take two cabs or just brave public transport with potentially cranky kids and pray for sympathetic fellow passengers who could either bear the noise or let the kids have a seat to sleep in or, preferably, both. Maybe this is more under "social"...
(No matter what, I don't think owning a car is a necessity for bigger families but this is a separate discussion.)
Education
I recall we had a sibling discount when we signed up for something. Was it child care or some enrichment? Free registration or uniforms for subsequent kids, not recurrent fees. It was a really nice gesture though and we appreciated it. Every bit helps.
Coupled with above point that no car is necessary even for bigger families, it might be helpful to offer school bus discounts for siblings in the same primary school. After all, it's the same pick-up/drop-off point.
Social
I remember some 10years ago, family packages I saw were for two adults and two kids. Just did a quick search and it seemed like it's no longer so limited, except for hotels which usually don't allow more than four per room *.* Our little clan hasn't had a staycation for years coz no point if we go on a staycation but stay in two rooms and the parents also don't fancy paying through our nose for a big suite. .
Another part under "social" is people. Over the years, I have at times felt like some kind of exhibition, thanks to mostly old aunties who would point out that we have three boys, like wow. Wonder what they say to even bigger families! Eh please, don't 大惊小怪 can??
Or worse, auntie will add - have a fourth one la, girl. I roll my eyes...
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