After the incident with Yu, we had a health scare.
On 15 Sep, A told me in the morning that her neck was swollen. I couldn't see any swelling but since she felt a swelling, I gave her $100 to see the doctor in case of throat infection or something which might need antibiotics which would be expensive. When she came back, she returned $70 and a referral letter to do ultrasound.
Ultrasound?? But wait, before I got distracted, where is the receipt? Then she brought the receipt out - it was for $25 consultation. I asked her why she returned only $70. It was small money but obviously, she purposely didn't want to give me receipt?? Told me she bought goreng pisang. Major eye rolling moment. Even though it was only $5, but what makes her think she could spend my money without even asking??
As I wrote the above, I thought of another incident some time ago. I let her use my credit card for groceries at NTUC. One Saturday, I was doing online banking and saw seven or eight expenditures at NTUC in the past week. But she goes only Monday to Friday. So I checked the receipt box and found fewer receipts than expected that week. When I asked her, she couldn't tell me what she bought in those missing receipts of $20-$30 each. Now I check the receipts against online banking every Saturday.
I think I don't trust her anymore...
Anyway, the ultrasound referral was for thyroid. I called the private clinic in Woodlands to find out more. But no one could tell me what could potentially be the issue - have to do ultrasound and see the doctor to know. I thought private setting might be more ex so I checked with nearby CCK polyclinic which said they had to refer to hospital for thyroid ultrasound but first, see doctor at polyclinic. The lady also reminded me that foreigners wouldn't get subsidised fees.
While waiting for the clinics to call back, I also asked her if she ate anything different before the swelling. She couldn't say. Her English is also not good so I couldn't catch some points too. I thought she said swelling for two weeks at one point and just found the swelling at another point. So I asked her if she did anything different those two weeks. Then she told me she bought something on her rest day two weeks ago and just finished eating it. She sent me a picture which showed it to be some supplements for whitening skin?! *.*
Anyway, I gave her all the info to decide for herself where she wanted to go. I also told her very frankly that if follow-on treatment after ultrasound would be costly, I could not pay for her anymore and would let her go home to seek cheaper treatment. She said she would think about it. Later, she said no more swelling, and the matter was closed.
This incident highlighted potential liabilities when hiring live-in help. There are liabilities that the usual insurance for helpers cannot cover adequately. Call me heartless but my liabilities should lie with my family, not the help that I had no choice but to get.
The next incident happened a month later, on 15 Oct.
I received a WhatsApp message from an unknown number. I thought it was spam and didn't bother with it until I finished work. Turned out it was from previous helper, N. I hadn't heard from her since early 2020. She sent me a video of Kai and Yang with my current helper A, two videos of Yang and a screenshot of one of the latter. The videos were on TikTok! She asked if I gave A permission to post. Of course not!!!
Damn pissed. I quickly checked with the kids that they did not ask for these videos and then got A to delete from TikTok in front of me. Reminded her of my instructions given to her on day one, in both English and Bahasa Indonesia, that she must not post pictures of my kids.
We used Sito's TikTok (I don't have it) to go view A's account - confirmed no more videos. Also translated the info in the screenshot - the videos were likely all posted in the past couple of days, but with 33 likes and two shares. 33 likes leh - I don't get that many in Facebook in a couple of days, if at all! Wa liao. One of the shares should be by N. The other, I don't want to think about it.
After almost two years, I don't think A is a bad person. Quiet. Dresses decently on rest days (think helper #1!). Patient with the children. But she cannot learn - clueless? - and is not child-centric. Our clothes are still found on the wrong hangers or in the wrong cabinets after almost two years. Kept insisting on little bit of pepper, coz "not spicy" - indeed so for the adults but the kids could taste it! Soup is still too salty. Kids complained about the taste of her stir-fried noodles but she continued to use the same seasoning until I told her to just cook spaghetti and fried rice!
There are also things that she could not do as in unable to do, like clean the top of the bookshelf coz she's short. I didn't know until one day I had to retrieve a toy and found that the top had not been cleaned for over a year since N left! So I have to clean that myself from then on. She also has difficulty opening milk bottles *.* Kai has been helping her to open!
And careless. Probably coz she's on the phone a lot including during kids' dinner time (when things spill, when kids take turns to want something), halfway through mopping floor (after dinner when floor is oily with food bits on it) and when ironing (Sito's new pair of jeans has a very obvious burnt iron mark before he had even worn it). Then there are all the stains on supposedly washed bowls and plates and spoons I found every few days.
Today, she broke a bowl when washing dishes. The pieces jumped from the sink to the floor in front of the schoolbags and main door, and to the dining area. Kept the kids in their seats while she picked up the pieces. Saw her wipe the floor before we all went into my room to watch TV. When we came out later for their pre-bedtime milk, I was shocked to find a 1cm x 3mm shard on the floor in the middle of the walkway between the schoolbags and the dry pantry cabinet! And even more shocked to hear Yu behind me saying he also found a piece on the cabinet!! I rushed over - it was indeed a 5mm flat round piece of corningware!
I can't take it much longer. Counting down to December/January when I will have the choice to not have a helper. Will let her transfer if she wants.
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