Stalking the kids

Recently, I rely less on the smart watch to stalk the kids.

Kai and Yang started coming home from school on their own from January 2022. I was anxious, not least because they had to cross roads near the school. So I bought a GPS watch to stalk them. They already started going to school on their own since April 2021. But I was more anxious for the returning journey, maybe coz Kai slept past the bus stop before??

With Yu going to primary school, we started the sending and fetching again, before letting them go on their own from January this year, and return on their own from March. So the watch had a break before resuming service.

And then, in September, student concession cards could finally onboard Simply Go! So happy! Now I can get instant updates when they alight and when their balance falls below $5. 

Even though student cards allow them to board with balance as low as $1, I'd rather be safe as I've had a few close brushes already. Once, the boys went to Stevens MRT to change but Yang couldn't get through coz the bus ride to Stevens put him at below $1. His brothers had to exit the MRT and waited for the direct bus home, with Yang paying cash.

But the instant updates are the best. I know when they get to school. I know that they alight at the right bus stop - Yang and Yu had fallen asleep / stoned on the way to bus and alighted only two stops later *.* I know whether they are taking the direct bus home or changing to MRT when coming home. 

The limitation is that I would get the notification only when they tap out of the bus/MRT. If the train stalls, I would not know until I start to worry about the long time they take to get home! 

And this happened to Kai before - he was coming home from his penultimate Chinese tuition class when the train stalled. I was so worried coz he was late. It took me a while to think of checking the trains. What a relief when I saw that there was a train fault! But then I got worried again - is he ok, scared, tired? Luckily, the aircon in the train was working, and he had a seat and was doing homework while waiting. He could have borrowed a phone to inform me though *.*

So I'd still have the smart watch ready. They can use it to call me. Now it's one for all to share. Next year, Kai will have his own phone.

Sito and I were talking about going to and from school. We thought it was great that our kids can take public transport by themselves. In fact, they themselves learnt to take the train instead of the direct bus home; they don't like to wait long long at the bus stop so would hop on the first bus. And depending on the bus, they may change at Stevens or Botanic Gardens. 

Once when I fetched Yang and Yu home, I purposely let them lead the way. We were on the upper deck and these kids kept talking and talking but remembered to press the bell to alight at Botanic Gardens. To be honest, I would need to look and look to be sure it's the right bus stop!

And on Thursday, after dinner at Mother's place, Kai suggested taking the bus from just downstairs to Bishan instead of walking to AMK MRT to take the train to Bishan. He remembers that route and decides it's a better one - I agree!

Don't think I was so good with public transport in primary school. But then, I never had to take public transport with my school just across the road, and also, bus stops now have the route details... I'm glad the boys know how to make use of the information and remembers the route to take.

Only the Mama is worried about them crossing roads. I have a whole lesson on crossing road ready for them!

Hello my sweetie pie!

I say Yang inherited sweet genes from Sito :)

He's a really sweet boy.

On the rare mornings that he woke early before his alarm went off, he came out with a smile on his face and hugged me :) When he goes to pee before he sleeps, he would give Papa and/or Mama - whoever is waiting for him to be done - a hug before going back to bed.

And he wants me to live to 100yo and lie down with him at bedtime every day until I die. Then when I die, he wants to keep my ashes at home so that he can talk to me. I thought that was very sweet of him.

Helping me pull thread through a needle

He didn't manage it in the end but I appreciate that he tried when he saw me struggling to see even with glasses.

But I'm not a sweet mama. I'm always scolding him for eating slowly, and for being sleepy or dozing off when doing work.

The worst though, was when he was very young... 

English PSLE day, I watched a reel of a CCTV where a mother was shouting at her infant who kept waking up at night. It was about postpartum depression. I never thought I had any such depression but I was very upset once.

That night at bedtime, I told Yang how I was so upset one day when he kept refusing to sleep that I just threw him on our bed - not like throwing a ball but roughly dropped him from a carrying position. He cried harder. I felt - and still feel - so guilty.

I said sorry to him and he said, "But I don't remember." Of course, you were only a few months old, I said. Now that I think about it, he was over one year old coz it was our second helper by then - she took him away and let me calm down. But still, I was rough with him.

I told him I'll sayang him more to make up for it. And we continued our bedtime hug.

Sito also thinks that Yang is the most 有心 boy, versus Kai who is quite whatever and Yu who is heartless haha!

Papa and pup meditating

The meditation lasted only a few days back in April. Think we wanted to help him get to a better state to study but he found it boring very quickly.

Well, he did study some for his exams. Some. Somehow, he had this confidence that he could get AL 9 in total. Sito delved deeper with him and he figured out that 9 wasn't possible. Maybe he has a rather wide range of what he considers good - after his maths teacher told the class that two scored 100, three or four scored 80-90 and the rest below, he told us he thought he did well for maths and could get maybe 80 plus or 70 plus - that's like AL 2 going down to AL 4 *.*

Anyway, he still hoped for below 15 - his grades last year. As it turned out, he got a 17. He was a little disappointed but he said he wanted to improve, which is great! He even came to me with two line charts showing "life" - one shows no work now and hard work later in life; one shows hard work now and a better life later. 

Actually, after we went through his papers, we thought it was ok. His English compo was clear with way fewer spelling errors than I feared! In fact, English was his best subject. Maths was plenty of carelessness so gotta work on that. And Sito said the science paper was tough with no half marks awarded at all - I trust that Sito can build him up! As for Chinese, I'm sad, haha! But ok I can build him up!

This boy tends to get distracted when his brothers are playing. And he feels tired easily when he is doing work. But with his latest results, he has agreed he needs to build up his foundation to prepare for P5. So we shall see how much work we can do during year end break, amid all the fun we're going to have!

A common sight

But must stay healthy... He came down with a running nose after his exams. Luckily it wasn't serious. After some Zyrtec, it became a blocked nose. So Papa applied Vicks on his chest one night.

I love such hub and pup moments

Playdates and parties

Last month, Yang and Yu were invited to a birthday party and a playdate respectively. Yang's classmate stays near Beauty World - sounds near but it's a long walk from the bus stop. Yu's classmate is at East Coast - very far but is right behind a bus stop.

I wasn't particularly keen on Yang's invitation as it wasn't a good friend. I think he wanted to go coz he had good experiences at birthday parties. But he also said he didn't want the classmate to feel alone. Awww... So I agreed to the invitation.

Yu was keen to play with his classmates. I agreed to the playdate before I knew the location. But had I known it beforehand, I think I would still agree.

I try to let them go whenever possible coz I had childhood trauma. I can't remember whether I heard it from the horse's mouth or through a mutual friend, but this primary school classmate said she didn't invite me to her birthday party coz I always needed to ask my mother who would always say no.

Maybe it was an excuse since we weren't close anyway. But still, it was a fact that Mother always said no to such things. She even said no to the post-PSLE trip to the beach organised by the more street smart kids. I told CY sadly that I couldn't go and her mum kindly called Mother to persuade her to let me go.

Anyway, so yesterday when school was out for 2025 P1 orientation, I brought Yu to the East Coast - bus 106 to Napier, TEL to Marine Parade, bus to the house; bus to Marine Parade, TEL to Caldecott, Circle Line back home. It took over an hour each way. So tiring. But Yu had so much fun that I found it worth the effort :) I also took the chance to get a foot massage while waiting for him :p

On the train to Marine Parade

Next Sunday, we'll go to Yang's birthday party. The duration is shorter so maybe just grab some coffee?

Anyway 1 - their classmates are from all over Singapore! Kai had a playdate somewhere near Paya Lebar. I organised a playdate with Kai's classmates, one of whom came from Bedok. Yang's best friend stays in Sengkang. And now Yu's friend in East Coast. I guess they probably entered the school under alumni phase. Unlike me who entered a primary school right across the road, and all my classmates live around the school - very easy to go to each other's house.

Interestingly, I've met mummies from four countries already - local for sure, then PRC, Korean and even Ukrainian!

Anyway 2 - it's interesting that these days, playdates and parties are arranged through the parents. Back in our day, it was all by ourselves - discussed playdates with friends in school or be invited in school, went home to seek permission, RSVP-ed with friends in school. In fact, some classmates just showed up at my place after dropping off their bags in school - afternoon session - coz I was just right across from the school!

Now, the kids get party invites directly from friends. Then they come home to seek permission, and I RSVP to the parent through WhatsApp. As for playdates, it's so far been parent to parent. In this case, technology seems to have robbed our kids of some form of independence and self initiation, though it probably eases parents of some anxiety...