Gynae matters

When a CT scan for my gastro-intestinal issues showed I had a swollen womb, I was referred to a gynae.

Saw a doc on 8 May, fully armed with my gynae records on my phone:

• Two miscarriages and three vaginal births (Angel 1, Angel 2, Kai, Yang, Yu)
• CIN II and LEEP in 2011 - I only briefly mentioned this in 2015 but didn't shout loudly: It is important to do PAP regularly, ladies!
• Removal of polyp in womb in 2010 - found during preconception scan
• Date of last period and period behaviour

She said my HPV PAP in 2022 would last for five years so no need to do. But she recommended a scan - on another day - and a womb lining biopsy given my weird periods.

The biopsy was crampy! A bit embarrassing but I was getting really anxious on her third poking. Luckily got a "good" sample in the end.

The ultrasound on 19 Jun 2024 took longer than expected coz the water stayed in my stomach for the longest time! The sonographer brought me in twice but could not do the scan. I waited a long time before my bladder was full enough *.*

Anyway, everything was fine according to the gynae on 26 Jun. I was given a review appointment via phone in January but I think I'll cancel. No need to spend such money since everything is fine!

Since I'm on gynae matters...

I often wonder when I'll hit menopause... Yes, my periods are much more predictable since having kids but still, who likes period days?!

I read about menopause on and off. Since I was a kid (thanks to TV and radio), I knew that women need to ensure sufficient calcium or risk osteoporosis upon menopause. But I don't want to take calcium pills, in part because Mother used to take it and it apparently caused weight gain. Or she didn't take but heard from a fellow auntie? I forgot :p

I think my calcium should be fine. I like green leafy vege and take more dairy than Mother ever did. She's still pushing strong at 78. But I can get more sun... Recently I bring a brolly with me on sunny days coz the 白 in 傻白甜 is very important at this age - I don't think any tan can fade easily anymore!

Lately, I also heard on the radio (ah, the old friend) about protein loss from middle age onwards. In fact, Mum has this issue and so is losing strength as well. Some years ago, I preferred to go vegetarian for dinner. For the kids, I included meat. Now, knowing that I need to ensure sufficient protein intake too, I cook even more meat and eggs and tofu. 

Ok, I'm veering into old age stuff now. But menopause and old age aren't so far apart? Haha! 

My second gastroscopy

Four months on, my hospital appointments came and passed.

On 3 Sep, I met an anaesthetist. I had to give the whole story - I always had low blood pressure but somehow it wasn't on record even though they took my blood pressure at least twice at each visit due to it being low, and so they couldn't knock me out at the first gastroscopy as the med reduced my pressure to 70+.

But on 3 Sep, my blood pressure was ok, with systolic at 90+ which was a rare occurrence! The doc thought I was nervous at the gastroscope and so had to be knocked out but no, I damn chill before, during and after. It was only the colon one that was uncomfortable.

I even showed the doc a copy of my blood pressure from the hospital self-check machine - in his words, not compatible with human life hoho! But the self-check machine always gave the lowest readings.

Anyway, the conclusion was there would be no GA but an anaesthetic would be there to monitor my vitals. He painted the worst case scenario - scary so I don't want to remember but ok, unlikely :p

I also did an ECG and blood test to rule out other possible causes for low blood pressure. But everything seemed fine as I didn't get a call-back. The doc was nice to rush things for me as I mentioned lunch for the kids so I didn't have to wait too long, phew! Went home with Ikea lunch for the boys and hub - just nice :)

Fast forward to 17 Sep, I found myself in an unfamiliar part of the hospital. Turned out there was a renovation since June so the scope had moved to this new part. 

The nurses wondered if I should change. Thank goodness they let me change coz later just before the scope, a nurse stuck things on my torso to monitor heart. Later at home, I found a sticker on my left side *.*

Met the anaesthesiologist on duty that day and he asked if I was nervous coz people don't usually need an anaesthesiologist for a scope. Eh, these doctors don't read patient notes?!

I signed some consent form again - forgot what though I read it :p - and was led to the op room. Was surprised to see some nine or 10 people in the room! I think it was due to the anaesthesia requirements... The anaesthesiologist put the needle in me this time.

Anyway, it was over in a jiffy. I don't know if I was totally out - I remember gagging a bit somehow... Then the staff were just doing their stuff and chatting while I was lying there... I was sent out to rest and finish off the drip before I could finally have milo! Oh ya, my scope was 2 pm and I quickly finished my breakfast before 8 am and suffered hunger from 11 am :(

It was when I boarded the bus home when I realised that I had forgotten to collect my medicine! Later, I googled that it was to reduce acidity. Um, no need la. And I really don't wish to take that for eight weeks!!

The follow-up with the gastro specialist was via phone. Everything was fine, never mind the medicine since I didn't feel unwell after the scope (yay!), no need to repeat gastro scope unless new issues come up, can do colonoscopy in 10 years - coz of my age?! 

But! My original issue still happens on and off... Doc said based on all that was done, no issues. But she gave me an open dated appointment so that I could return if my issue is accompanied by significant weight loss and LS.

It's been almost a year now. I guess I can finally close this chapter off? Taking a leaf from Yang's poop tracking, I've started tracking my diet and poop on an excel sheet - I suspect the oil is due to my nightly peanuts but it's hard to link coz I don't go every day... I shall see...

Btw, I wrote "scope" happily but I just realised there isn't such a thing?? More like xx-scopy, oops :p

The last eight

This boy is eight!

Firehouse birthday ice cream without nuts for this monkey

We started celebrations on Saturday. Went to the library and met Mother they all for dinner at Dian Xiao Er at Bishan.

First time we got a duck head coz we ordered one duck in two flavours

Two cakes this time - one for the 78 and one for the eight

Then Sunday, we went to Xin Cuisine at Holiday Day Inn Atrium for lunch. Dim sum with twists - like ginkgo on top of siew mai. So Yu had only one siew mai after the top was removed.

Strawberry cake as requested

He also asked me for a strawberry cake. So I googled madly. Tried to make a chiffon cake a couple of weeks ago - failed! The cake collapsed spectacularly. I think I need aluminium trays... Lucky I tried first. 

So I stuck to sponge cake. But the top sank a little and I was afraid I might not have enough to cut into two layers so I quickly put together another batter using the same recipe but with oil and milk instead of butter coz I didn't have time to soften the butter. The second cake turned out to be softer.

But I think I'll get aluminium trays. I already have an order for the same cake from Yang :)

The cake was bigger than Yu's head, haha!

I was greedy. I made a three-layer cake. It was hard to stack them nicely coz I didn't halve the cakes very well. So I think I need two or three aluminium trays - make layers individually, no need to cut.

And even though I repurposed my condiments turntable into a cake turntable, I couldn't get the cream all round so it was more like a naked cake. What a sus cake, haha! Yu said he liked only the cream and the strawberries though, not the cake. Maybe he would prefer the light chiffon cakes made using aluminium trays.

:p

On his birthday itself, we indulged him and had dinner at Swensen's at Clementi. He could get his free Firehouse birthday ice cream only on the actual birthday. So Yang escaped - no revision for Chinese compo exam the next day...!

But all were happy with their food and ice cream :) And the trip on a school day took a toll on the younger two - they were knocked out very quickly that night!

A lesson

Written 28 Sep on my phone and edited 7 Oct to post.

This week, I learnt a valuable lesson. 

Context first. I have a few good friends with whom I text regularly, usually over random and/or mundane stuff in our lives and news and funny stuff etc. These include tak glam pictures of ourselves coz funny or hey, look at my new black facial sheet mask!

One of these friends - let’s call him X - made a couple of WhatsApp stickers using my headshots. One was me in a period costume headdress as I was playing with an app - quite funny. One was a photo of me taken over tea one day - I purposely made a funny face. Ugly but I love that funny expression. Oh that's the current headshot on this blog :)

A few days ago, can’t remember what we were saying but he asked me to send him a new ugly photo to make into a sticker. I was like, you think I’m crazy? I left it at that. 

Yesterday, I was on my phone with my face mask on. X sent me a link to Instagram. I knew I would need glasses to read the text so I replied to say I couldn’t read coz no glasses. And I attached a photo of myself with face mask on, setting it to view once only so my ugly shot won’t be in cyberspace forever. 

But shortly, I found that photo in a sticker in a group chat among another good friend, X and me!

I messaged X directly to ask how come he could do that when I set it to view once. He said secret. Then I told him it was very mean of him to do that coz I meant to only say why I couldn’t wear glasses, not for him to make into a sticker. 

When he replied that it wasn’t clear, I stopped replying. How can it not be clear when I set it to view once??

I was very pissed with him. I questioned our friendship in my head:

• With a friend like this, who needs enemies?!
• Is he still a friend when he does such things? Depends - he has clearly taken it for granted that it’s ok to play tricks on good friends. I have three boys who think it’s ok to play tricks on each other but they are kids...
• Has he been a good friend otherwise? Yes. We supported each other through difficult times, and share a common interests.
• Is it worth ending a friendship over this? No, given the above. 

I also asked myself - what specifically was I angry about? Actually I’m happy enough with myself. See my blog headshot - I don’t mind looking ugly. But I mind when people take things out of context and without permission. That is not right. 

There was another photo incident with another good friend many years ago. Let’s call her Y. 

It was the time of film cameras so we didn’t get to preview photos and delete unwanted ones straightaway. One day, we placed her camera on timer mode to take a wefie. When the photos came back from the shop some days later, we found that the wefie showed a bit of my underwear as my shorts were opening towards the camera. 

Horrified, I asked Y to throw that away but she refused. I was upset with her. But we remained friends. 

Years on, I was at her place browsing old photos when I saw that photo again, this time pasted in a big album. Does that mean anyone browsing her albums can see me exposed?? I asked her to throw it away again but again, nope. Then at least please just cover it up. I “no eye see” already. We never spoke of that photo again. 

Not that I had forgotten about it. I once went round the table to take photos of my friends at a dinner gathering. Again it was a film camera. One shot came back exposing a friend as she was wearing a loose blouse and bending forward. I dumped that photo without hesitation and no one else set eyes on it. Coz I know what it’s like. Even if I did not have such an experience, I would have dumped it anyway coz it’s a mistake in the first place. 

Anyway, the lesson. Or lessons. 

Don’t trust technology to protect me 100%. 

More importantly, look after myself more. It’s also my fault to allow these to happen. I should have protected myself and check my attire before taking the wefie. I should not have itchy fingers - why did I send candid photos of myself to friends, view once or not?!

Recognise that anyone - family, good friends - can take me for granted. I find it hard to say “don’t trust anyone” coz how to live when there’s no trust? So I need to recognise this in order to own the responsibility to protect myself. Or maybe just "don’t take it for granted that people will be kind"...

Told JY about this without mentioning names and her response was that she couldn't imagine me scolding a friend. Guess that says something about me too. I must stand up for myself!

So anyway, I scolded X. He apologised. 

The work desk

Heard on TV (earlier in July :p), something about how many people were not equipped to work from home when the pandemic hit. 

I cannot understand. The underlying statement here is that these were people who could work from home, but what was happening before the pandemic? They worked long hours in office? They worked on their bed? They had no need to bring work home??

I remember I was surprised when I heard from a colleague that she worked on her bed whenever she requested to work from home to take care of her sick cat. (That was before the pandemic. Later, due to pandemic WFH, she bought a desk.)

Really, I thought everyone would have a desk for work. I mean, if you're working, you have the means right? And a desk can be very small to suit small spaces - like those in schools. 

I grew up hearing about 书房 study on TV but not having one. What a wonderful idea that is, a room of books and for studying!

In my early schooling years, I would sit on the floor in front of the coffee table in the living room to do my homework. (Don't know why coffee tables were such a thing - we never had one in three homes.) Later, I shifted to the dining table, double the size of the coffee table. 

I also used to read one whole week of accumulated newspapers at the dining table from P5, while the rest were watching TV at night. That stopped only when we stopped getting free newspapers. I never like reading them anyway :p (But now I read the digital version.)

The dining table was probably where I spent a lot of time studying. Homework in the afternoon, packed away for dinner, homework in the night, revision. 

I remember studying for exams at the dining table in secondary school. Somehow I have this image of me poring over a geography textbook in the kitchen under the glaring fluorescent light, everywhere else dark. Oh how I hated geography, haha!

Then there were those endless maths tutorials in JC, each question taking up to 30min to solve. The dining table was full by then - the one-page tutorial with references to 10-year series (TYS) books, the TYS books, other homework, the foolscap pad I was using, stationery etc.

In university, each bedsit came with a desk. Mostly proper desks - I had a small desk supplemented by a dressing table (!) in my first year.

During the summer back in Singapore, I would sit on a stool next to the telephone table (seriously) in order to use the internet - it was still dialup for me!

When I first started work, I seldom brought work home coz we were using desktops. At most brought papers home to read. But soon enough, I got a laptop. Where do I work? I can't remember - probably the dining table again, or the sofa since it was just one item. But when the need to send/receive emails arose, I worked next to the phone again!

I vividly remember one night, sitting on the floor with the laptop on the stool coz too hot, logging on to send papers off for a meeting. And shortly, I received an SMS from a colleague telling me something was off with a paper. We carried on like it was nothing strange doing this at 2 am *.*

It wasn't until after the upgrading that (1) we finally got broadband and (2) I had a proper desk! That was life-changing man... That desk was also my dressing table and bedside table rolled into one.

When we got married and moved to our own home, we had one desk to share. I don't remember why when both of us tended to work a lot at home after hours! Eventually, after the MBA, Sito worked more overseas so I took over the one desk almost completely. He used the desk sometimes but else it was the bed for him.

Then when we moved to Bukit Panjang, again, we had one desk! That was clearly MINE! Though I recently saw a photo of Sito using it too :p It wasn't until the pandemic that we bought a second desk as Sito had to work full-time from home too.

And now, we have a 2m desk with a drawer cabinet dividing it into two parts, one for each of us :) He spends more time at the desk. The boys spend time here too, even though they have their own desk already. They like to crowd together. I often find all four of them here. 

In the picture below, Kai was working on sthg on his own with his brothers on the floor, getting a respite from the heat outside. Thanks for saving on aircon bills? :p But this means no space for me, grrr...

Recently, Kai was studying a lot in his room to prepare for PSLE (last day today, yay!). I'm so glad he has the space which I didn't have as a child. Later in December, we will also shift Yu's bed out of Yang's room so that they get their own space as well - Yang would be in P5 next year, need to study more without the monkey monkeying around...