Thursday, 31 March 2005


Yes mf is still alive! (And the cheery mf is back too..)

Am online at Terminal 1, gate D40 - this is cool! :p

Been very busy this week clearing work to go on this long break so no updates.. I'll be back (online) in some ten days or so. Wish me fun? :) .. Thank you, and you too :)

Saturday, 26 March 2005

Lessons from the black box

Was going to log off when I saw a trailer of "Turn Left Turn Right" on TV. Kel had already informed me that it'll be showing in early Apr, when I'm away. I've never watched it but I heard it's very nice. I want to watch it..

I think it was on screen in late 2003, when I was already back but somehow I missed it. I like the storyline, of this boy and this girl always so near yet they never found each other when an untimely rain washed off their contact numbers after their first meeting in a park. The two main songs are lovely tunes that I still sing to today. 933 had this advert/ jingle, that took its origin from the movie and it went - I translate - "Have you ever thought that in this city, there's someone who keeps passing you by?"

Some time last year, I think it was around the time when I was feeling rather lost, when it finally hit home that I'm back for good, I bought the picture-story on which the movie was based. I thought it was a beautiful story. A bit sad but beautiful. Anyway the ending was a happy one.

There are times when I feel that I'm after such bitter sweet lives, preferably with the sweet at the end. "Love Vacation", "Meteor Garden", "Autumn in My Heart", I like these stories. Which reminds me, I had wanted to write about "LV", my favourite Jap drama.

I first watched it in 1999/2000, alone in my shoebox room on 3rd floor, St Mary's Staircase in the back quod of BNC, a very well hidden attic room right at the top.

That was my induction into Jap drama. I was hooked.

"LV" must have the best soundtrack ever. I'm listening to it now, an instrumental piece which fitted perfectly into one scene where Sena professed his love to what's-her-name while Minami watched on from the window, happy for him, sad for herself.

I didn't know if I should feel happy for him or sad for her.

Think this is the only "LV" instrumental that I can listen to without feeling affected. I can get rather emotional with the others, "Tiny Tale", "Silent Emotion" and "Minami - Piano Piece of Sena".

How come? Don't know.

I asked the guys to help me find VCD/DVD in Japan when they went there last year because I could no longer find it in SG; Jap dramas of that period seemed to have disappeared, almost totally supplanted by Korean and Taiwanese soaps. But it remained elusive. I almost ordered from a Taiwanese website but as fate would have it, I came across it accidentally while in Malacca.

But the thing about me, or maybe about human beings, is that we take things for granted. Now that I have the VCD, I have no motivation to watch it for the third time. I've watched just one disc on CNY eve on my own in the room.

It's just like in the show. Sena kept chasing after her dream girl but the one for him was really next to him, the bride who became his housemate after being dumped at the altar by his old housemate. And Minami, she liked him for sure but since he liked the other girl, she went out with this other guy, a really nice guy. But she couldn't be untrue to both him and herself. Anyway, long story but ultimately, it was Sena and Minami and they lived happily ever after.

The fairy tale feel of such stories is what keeps them alive in people's hearts. And with them, hope. That in a city full of unfamiliar faces, or worse, familiar strangers, there is a possibility that there may be true love somewhere out there. At a time when you least expect, it can bang on your door. Minami almost knocked down Sena's door when looking for her groom :p But of course, that's fiction. Outside these dramas, hope may knock differently, it may not be dramatic but if and when it happens, it's real :)

Dark, rainy Saturday

Did some planning and packing most of the day. When the skies cleared, I popped out to get some stuff for the trip. As luck would have it, I waited half an hour for the stupid bus which originated from a terminal only some 5/10min away. In that half hour, it started pouring again. I was very tempted to turn back about five minutes before the bus finally came; I could go tomorrow or Mon. Was really very very irritated by then as I was already not feeling too good today.

That's choosing the easier way out.

You could call me an escapist. I don't deny that; I can't.

Anyway, I was so pissed off that I didn't move though I wanted to. So I held out just long enough. Bus came, I got to Bishan, bought a T-shirt, a pair of sneakers and a little bag* to improvise as a CD holder. But those weren't enough. Packed a crispy chicken chop** to eat on the way back. Rain had stopped but the streets were still wet. Ok, so I cabbed back. $4. Washed down the chicken with a packet drink from the fridge. Not satisfied. Saw a Kitty marshmallow on my bed. Why was it there? Couldn't remember. So it became a sacrifice. Then I recalled: it's for Na. It was put on top of the envelop of yen which was for her. Ok, glad I have more of those.

* First I told the girl I had a 包包 on the counter. Then I waved the plastic bag away and said I didn't need a 袋袋. What's with the baby talk?! 包包 is acceptable but 袋袋 is really over the top hur? Mind wasn't really working then so maybe that's the real me?

** Second time I bought that. First time, friend shared with me. This time, it was really really filling. Too filling. Still yummy but no longer a novelty..

So what's with the retail therapy-cum-comfort eating?

Truth is, I woke up feeling dazed today, like something wasn't quite right. Later it hit me. I've been mean last night. Cruel and to the point. Suffice to say I now feel a certain void. No point describing or explaining anything else.

Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. Sometimes, having tulips between the ears is a blessing. But sometimes, some things need to be thought through and understood. I'm glad I have eight days on my own in Japan to have a good think about things that I should have thought about ages ago.

Meanwhile, I recognise myself as an escapist, as mentioned earlier. And I live for the moment sometimes, like, if the fear of something current outweighs that of something in the future, which, if it happens, might be unbearable, I choose to act on the former. That is despite always believing that I like to plan for the future. Another sign that I should start my personal review real soon.

Was chatting earlier. Yan reiterated karma, cause and effect. I'm beginning to believe that one day, someone will be cruel to me as I've been. She also believed in horoscopes. She's a Leo, and her bf, a Capricorn. She asked me if I sometimes fall into the Capricorn mould of being, well, capricious. Yes, I do. Na asked if I would walk her path, the one where she said she's incapable of feeling love, if I'm not already on it. I didn't think so. Now I wonder if I will indeed, being capricious? I certainly hope not.

Feeling like shit cos I think I've been thinking too much today, with nothing conclusive. Actually, I don't know why I bother with thinking now. A conclusion was already reached last night. What's the point? I don't even know what I want to achieve by activating my brain.. So I should stop.

I stop HERE.

Friday, 25 March 2005


I was listening to CY singing this song just now, thought it spells me somehow :)

生活像悬疑的小说 下一页剧情是什么
我相信没有人晓得 世界究竟怎么了

也许是我也闷得太久 也许是我今天着了魔

孩子似的闭上眼 向前走
回到自己那一国 那个好久忘了去梦的路口

我喜欢孤单冒险 追踪梦的线索 我的注册商标是自由
再也不想做 无聊的那个我
我走向魔幻季节 原来那么快乐 我连呼吸都是幸福的
换一个角度 去看另一个地球

爱情的范围 谁画的出呢 我爱的人剩下了几个
我翻阅记忆的底片 美的丑的 我通通记得

也许是我也闷得太久 也许是我今天着了魔

孩子似的闭上眼 向前走 回到自己那一国

我喜欢孤单冒险 追踪梦的线索 我的注册商标是自由
再也不想做 无聊的那个我
我走向魔幻季节 原来那么快乐 我连呼吸都是幸福的
换一个角度 去看另一个地球

屋顶上的我 镜子里的我 DALA...
留短发的我 最胆小的我 (都是我)

我喜欢孤单冒险 追逐梦的线索 我的注册商标是自由
再也不想做 无聊的那个我
我走向魔幻季节 原来那么快乐 我连呼吸都是幸福的
换一个角度 去看另一个地球

不回头的我 不回头的我

mf's back in action!

The past few days have been hazy (eh, ok, weather too..), too busy and stressed over a number of things. I still read your blogs if you blog, but I've got no time to write my own (ie, this one will be long). In fact I think I didn't even have time to look at a paper I was supposed to be revising. So what was mf doing?


That's the name of my division's stall at our CCIP (corporate community involvement programme, essentially we set up a stall with our staff welfare monies and all proceeds go to charity) on Thurs. Yes, we shamelessly and unrepentantly capitalised on the coming Easter Day :p We had two varieties of chocolate eggs, Mother's agar-agar in real egg shells, and my (in a way.. I combined various online recipes and didn't follow their proportions) tea eggs. In addition, we had some special items: two giant chocolate egg shells and two carrot hugging rabbits. All but one rabbit were sold! Happy :) Oh, Dor and I donned bunny gear to peddle our goods around the hall; she wore pink and I, blue. Of course, I roamed about to spend my coupons too. Lucky me, an instant dip gave me a nice jewellery case. While I lost in two other games, they gave me a consolation stress ball (left over from President's Challenge 2004, I think) and another gave me a "special prize" (file case) for my hopeless attempts at mini golf - I missed all seven balls! Gaaar!

The CCIP was the afternoon segment. Morning was horrible, cos a bad migraine was eating out my brain =( But I survived Elim Chew's talk which was very inspirational and motivating. She certainly knew how to hold our attention, so unlike other talks I've been to (and slept at), the talk went by in a flash, though it was actually longer than the corny workplan presentations that followed. But there was a part which I found strange, and only because I was attentive: she said that last time her family was very poor and her mother had to work as a dishwasher in a London restaurant and her sister was driving a cab. Has something registered yet? Well, I was wondering, how come a poor family got to London in the first place? You don't see Mother relocate us to London ten years ago..

This long weekend is just in time for me to prepare for my trip; I'm leaving on Thurs night! :) I'm one who needs time to carefully plan everything, otherwise I won't feel settled. That's why I had a panic attack on Wed on the way to work. I realised that my ryokans in Tokyo and Hakone had not been confirmed yet and I didn't even know when Na would be in Tokyo! Still don't know when she'll go but at least we have sent out final email to change ryokan reservation in Tokyo. As for Hakone, the cheapest ryokans have all been fully booked. I'm now looking at a S$300 pppn ryokan, more than thrice as costly as the fully booked ones but there are no other option. The PDA deal offered by Narita Airport as a trial for visitors to Tokyo also fell through so I'll have no online connection 1-10 Apr. You'll be spared from my nonsense :)

Ballroom that night was real fun as Aleena taught us quick open reverse in quickstep, absolutely exhilarating flying across the ballroom, especially with music! Dan sent Alicia and me back as we left - first time that all five of us left at the same time. Then, guess what? We were running at a rather high speed just before the turn to my street and I informed him a split second too late about the impending turn. He jammed on the brakes before turning but at that kind of speed, the car went up the kerb and almost got the MRT pillar! Surprisingly, I wasn't scared - don't ask me why - until I realised that his car might be damaged by the impact. True enough, the left wheel was sort of "off". Felt that it's my fault actually for not warning him early but he refused to let me shoulder any costs of repair.. How?? Sighs..

Like a million other single Singaporeans, I received a mail from SDU earlier in the week. Saw a friend's face on the cover of the magazine, and another inside. It was accompanied by this "little black book". I happily thought it's a nice notebook which I could bring on my travels to make notes. But the first page says "Contacts" at the top, followed by "Name", "Mobile" and "Email" repeated nine times. Same thing next page. And the next. And the next. I raised my eyebrows and flipped to the middle of the book. SAME! I did a count - expectantly - and found twenty pages saying "Notes" and, get this, 80 pages of "Contacts"!! Now, let's see, will I have 9 x 80 = 720 acquaintances in my lifetime? I have about 190 on my mobile, some others online, and then there are others whose contacts I don't have, so give and take, 300 should be a good estimate. I'm 25, so ok, I guess 720 is probable. But I'm not carrying this "little black book" around for another 50 years lor! And I wonder who still keep written records of mobile numbers, which we can store in mobiles, and email addresses, which are usually in online address books! This is such a waste of taxpayers' money and worse, this is environmentally unfriendly! mf is not happy..

I actually just popped in from KTV with Yan, CY and her friend Tim. Had a lot of fun, especially when our hours were extended to almost 4pm cos no one was using our room at 2pm, and we paid only $8 each :p These days I would only go for K Lunch cos it's the cheapest. Am feeling rather broke now. Yes, remind me, PB just came in, but I burnt $1400 on yen for both Na and me already. Then I cannot find my leftover USD so I have to buy that too.

Oh, something totally freaked me out yet amused me this morning before KTV. Gist was that Mother bumped into me in a, ahem, compromising situation right at the end of our corridor. She was in when I came back from KTV. At first, I thought she wasn't going to ask me about it but well she brought it up after a while! Strangely though, she didn't seem too pissed or freaked out :p Anyway, moral of the story is NOT to linger about, especially, I must repeat, NOT this near homeground! Enough said.

Hee, just received my first "hate mail". It was in retort to my previous bad English blog, saying that I might have hurt that guy's feelings if I don't reply just cos of his English. For him (first guy), I have one advice: the next time you send out such an unsolicited "be-friender" email, perhaps hoping to impress, pls, get your message vetted for English. And hey, I'm not obliged to reply to every single cold call lor!

Anyway, this critic wrote in super bad English but I replied anyway cos he/it was amusing:

"First of all, thanks for your msg. (mf: My usual first line, fyi..)
That was amusing, I gather your bad English in your msg was on purpose since your profile is quite free of grammatical errors..
Btw, whether I reply to a cold call or not, is really *my* call.
Anyway, feedback appreciated! :)"

Yes, feedback appreciated :)

Update 26 Mar 05
Called up a minshuku in Hakone after writing above. Lady couldn't speak English. But glad to say I managed to get a cheap room with my limited Japanese, yeah!



Monday, 21 March 2005

OCD does NOT permit (written) gross errors!

I was at Kel's last night to check out his suitcase, which turned out to be too big for me to bring to Tokyo; mf travels light. Helped him utilised his Max Online by checking emails etc. Received a message from this guy in Friendster, made me cringe, not so much the content but his English - see title of post.. Ok now, read what he wrote:

"i went to bought roses, orchids, sunflowers n other plants to decorate my house and (mf: inconsistency with previous 'n') been busy taking care of them. work is crazy too but this plants cool (mf: cannot decide whether this is singular or plural ah?!) me down."

I usually reply out of courtesy (and I made that clear - out of courtesy) but not this time. Cos of my OCD, yeh..

Anyway, I came in here to blah about more significant events.

We had our healthy lifestyle event on Fri afternoon, starting with a yummy and filling buffet lunch. HK's son provided much of the entertainment at the table, beating us all with his obscure questions on storyline/ characters in Harry Potter, Incredibles etc, like, do you know the special feature of Jack Jack's superhero suit? Well I don't! :p

It was the much anticipated Duck Tour right after. Instantly regretted gorging when I saw the tiny amphibian - I don't want to puke! But I didn't, fortunately.. The tour wasn't as exciting as expected but we saw a couple making out on a bench facing the Kallang Basin along, was it Marina Promenade?? Anyway, that area la.. So, naughty naughty, we all started cat-calling for fun but well, they were too far to hear :p We made a lot of noise with the quacking whistle. I heard someone in front - was it Irene? - say "shut the duck up"!

Slept for almost two hours before leaving for Velvet with Ker*. There were also KP, QX, WS and bf. Sito and HW joined us late and TCH even later. Was my first time at Zouk/Phuture/Velvet. Like R&B but Phuture's too damn crowded. We ended up spending most of our time in Velvet. Hey I wasn't too bad this time! Had about five shots and I wasn't even groggy! Ok, until the end la, a combination of the 5th shot and my feet succumbing to my dizzy heels. Slept/ lazed around until 11 before my first meal in almost 24hours - fried kway tiao, haven't had that for months, maybe a whole year..

* I was kindly reminded that his name was spelt Kerr *hear hear* I know, but don't have to type in full right? Some I'll have to type in full cos can't abbreviate, eg, Sito would become Sit (? Might as well put Fetch! :p); Siok would become Sio (and that's Mother's name btw..!); and I can't have Si1 and Si2, not nice!

Had a major KLK makan session on Sat night. Almost full attendance but Na couldn't make it. The new food court at Marina Square - or, Marina shopping mall or something - was quite nice, made me want to eat more than I should. Well I didn't la. At least not there.. We adjourned to Coffee Club for dessert :p And to BK when the former closed. And finally shuttled home when even BK had to close. Very funny conversations but ahem, better not tell the world lest I get hacked.. But, Kok, you ARE emailing us something, RIGHT? :)

Aerobics yesterday was tough but I felt so great at the end! Problem was when I bought too many Roti Boy buns for my cousins.. Ok, guilty: I had one =( And Grams gave me an icecream cone after that when I was watching Bao Gong.. Btw that's the last episode, so I won't miss it when I go away, phew!

Oh, on the way to Kel's place, I was daydreaming with 933 in my ears while watching Jamie Oliver do his thing on TV Mobile: when Na and I finally have our place, we'll have healthy salad in the fridge for weekday (post) dinners. And for weekends, I'll make gourmet brunch - super healthy of course - and she'll wash up. Weekend dinner, if eating in, will undoubtingly be a big affair with friends and wine. *Pause* Alright, any alcohol!

Office has something bizarre going on right now, yes, this very moment as I type. Some seven of my colleagues are in the room in front, feet immersed in a basin of ionised/ magnetised water whose colour ranges from orange to brown to blackish brown. Some sort of detox foot spa. Honestly, I had a go at it earlier and I wasn't not too convinced. I saw particles coming out of the black "ion cleanser" in the basin before the water became an unsightly pool of brown water with, get this, GREEN bubbles and floating oils. In a word, gross ~.~

Thursday, 17 March 2005

Desperate Housewives!

Do you watch?

I like Susan, I think she's cute and the perfect mum-friend-mum albeit rather clueless. Still cute :)

I like Bree who keeps her household so neat and tidy - only to be expected from a fellow OCD mate like me :p

I like Lynette, capable on her own, and with lovely kids and doting hubby.

Edie's a slut with an ugly face and an even uglier voice so no no no no no!

There's nothing much to like about Gabrielle except that she is seriously hot.. But apparently, I'm her! Gaaar! (Don't know what expression to put here!)


Congratulations! You are Gabrielle Solis, the ex-model with everything she's ever wanted - a rich husband, a big house and John, the 17-year-old gardener.

Which Desperate Housewife are you?

Update 18 Mar 05
Correction: I'm not her - Gabrielle. Hence not seriously hot. Ok, maybe a bit. Sometimes :p Anyway I'm just A Gabrielle. Also implies nothing, NOTHING, needs to be arranged..

*Bulu bulu*

Feeling bubbly :p

Maybe cos Siok said I inspired her to take up something healthy - if we had to wait for friends to do with us, we might wait forever! Oooh, nice to know someone was inspired by me :) She signed up with True Yoga, unlimited visits. I felt inspired to upgrade my Amore to unlimited but can't cos I have too many commitments already, unless I were to give up.. movies? Erm, I think I can't bring myself to do that!

Maybe cos many could make this Sat's KLK dinner, at least one whom we haven't seen for some time will join us this time, nice :) For now, plans are to go to KAP - Kel's nostalgic albeit lazy no-brainer choice! To think that not long ago, I was saying we'd graduated from 4hour fries at KAP..

Maybe cos tomorrow we're going for buffet lunch and Duck Tour on staff welfare fund..

Maybe cos my trip to Tokyo is materialising..

Maybe cos.. =) I don't need a reason to feel happy! Have a happy day - weekend is already on its way!

It's THE age

WX's back and Tuesday, Kel and I met up with her at S11*. It was a very nice four hour chat, on matters befitting of 25-year-olds.. Sito and I were talking about 25 year old stuff after ballroom too. Suffice to say that all of us are surrounded by such weighty matters all of a sudden. Sounds fun to sum it up with age, esp quarter life - 25, not to mention it's 5-squared, it's an odd number.. Ok, don't let me digress!

* Noticed a number of XX...XXXL tomatoes around that S11, painted on the walls, sitting in the patch of grass near the carpark etc. I was pondering their significance when Kel pointed out the name of our new town, which is - you guess la! Our town council quite cute..

So, let me not bore you with details, just a few points - might as well say questions - that came up during the conversations and subsequent connections of mf's synapses. In no particular order:

1) In a relationship, should both parties have an end - meaning marriage, in most cases, I suppose - in mind? If not, is it not "serious"?

2) Even if both see an end, it doesn't mean they'll get there (really, who could know for sure?), in which case, should they just heck it and be happy for the moment for as long as it lasts, without an end in sight? Though some might fear this will waste each other's time..

3) Friends our age, some younger, are getting hitched. Is that impetus for us to want to find someone as well? Is it necessary? Isn't that sad, to find someone for its own sake?

4) How do you know you like someone? Is gan dong considered it? Is xi guan considered it? How do you know if someone, or the person you like, likes you? Ok I'm slow..

5) Does the feeling of liking someone changes with age? (Ahh, see, age plays a part..) Like, I don't see myself liking another person the same way I liked my ex, though it doesn't mean I will like him (or her!) any less even if the feeling is different from before.

6) Sito read that a relationship is supposedly a continuum consisting of three stages: lust, love, commitment, in that order. How do you tell when (and if) you transcend each stage? I've said before that there is no love without lust and the converse is false. Then, is love born out of lust true love?

7) How about commitment? I think it should be synonymous with a relationship. But physically and/or emotionally? Will it keep people from straying either way? If not, does it mean there's no love in the relationship? It's so much easier being committed to a friendship!

I'll stop before my head bursts. Not pretty. Not to mention dead.

On a totally incongruent plane, just because I suddenly thought of it, I felt horribly abused sometimes, mentally and physically. Kel calls me a piece of shit or, his current fave, zhu. There are other names, which I do not bear repeating, by Ker and BH et al.. Last sat* with the guys, Hup - lucky guy, in Sydney now - demo how he accidentally hit someone ON ME. Then, Sito hit me real hard on my shoulder that I almost cried (out)! Ok, I said something not too nice before that - can't remember now - but it so didn't warrant that "pat on the shoulder" lor! =(

* Didn't know what came over me but I wore very little - in the guys' words - to Chinatown for dinner! I pinned a pink drape together at my belly button over my bandeau top but they said I looked very ahmah from behind. After various adjustments on the way to Orchard, final look was a knot at my belly button instead. And to their credit, I thought I did look way better :) My abs are still in need of more work but they spotted people - guys and girls - checking out my tummy, heh! And no, Kel, not with looks of disgust, thank you very much. Well, at least I hope they weren't hiding any looks of disgust la :p

Finally, Velvet this Fri ie tomorrow. Call me if interested. Can't call cos you don't have my number? Well, you aren't on the list! *Feeling niao*

Tuesday, 15 March 2005

From "Yentl"

Amid the dim lighting of the studio, we were flat on the mat, post-aerobics, with this soothing tune calming our hearts. Somehow, it creeped deeper into me and hung around for ages..

God, oh God
May the light illuminate the night
The way your spirit illuminates my soul

Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you see me?
Papa, can you find me in the night?
Papa, are you near me?
Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you help me not be frightened?

Looking at the skies
I seem to see a million eyes
Which ones are yours?
Where are you now that yesterday
Has waved goodbye and closed its door?
The night is so much darker
The wind is so much colder
The world I see is so much bigger
Now that I'm alone

Papa, please forgive me
Try to understand me
Papa, don't you know I had no choice?
Can you hear me praying
Anything I'm saying
Even though the night is filled with voices?

I remember ev'rything you taught me
Ev'ry book I've ever read
Can all the words in all the books
Help me to face what lies ahead?
The trees are so much taller
And I feel so much smaller
The moon is twice as lonely
And the stars are half as bright

Papa, how I love you
Papa, how I need you
Papa, how I miss you
Kissing me goodnight...

Monday, 14 March 2005

Do you read news online?

Hup alerted me to an article on STI that relates to that post of mine on friends. It goes that friends are not hotels. Not wanting to repeat myself, and as the journalist writes way better than me, pls go and read it yourself.

Warning: link expires in three days!
(Email me for the article if you miss it - I had, compulsively, saved the thing)


Irritably, the website is going to start charging, which means that I can no longer read STI as and when I like at my workstation, in between para of my papers when inspiration fails me, when I'm feeling sleepy/ restless etc etc. You know that annoying index in some section of said newspaper? Well, this should be at the top of the list!

Let's check out other newspapers with cyber edition, shall we? BBC is free. NY Times is free. So is IHT and many others. Notably, at one point, parts of Times were for subscribing members only but now every single page seems to be fully accessible again - AND I WONDER WHY..

Point is many of the world's leading newspapers have free-to-access online versions. STI is certainly not the best/ most independent etc. Now, what is the rationale of charging?

Granted, profit margins from hardcopy sales are dwindling. I, for one, do not buy ST cos I can always read online or in the office pantry. But will charging for online viewing make a significant difference?

I remember waking up to muesli and STI (among others) during my four years in Oxford. To some extent, it allowed me to know some of the happenings in SG. I said "to some extent" cos I ended up forgetting anyway but that's not the point.

Thing is, eg, during the SARS months, I was glad that STI painted a very vivid picture from the ground level; it allowed me to appreciate the home situation 3000 miles away. Being in SARS-free UK, I didn't identify with all the happenings back in Asia; in fact, I felt very detached from the whole episode, like it didn't concern me, like I had no loved ones in the SARS-prone region. My only link was STI. I wonder, if, goodness forbids, if similar things were to happen again, would detailed news reach to as wide an audience?

Oh, I forgot. There's Channel NewsAsia now. Oh well, it means that it's time for me to replace the STI link on my IE homepage with CNA! Hmph!

Anyway, it's White Day so let me not grumble so much. No, I receive nuts (since I gave nuts on V Day) but I like the idea :p Happy White Day!

Spoofs and satires

Yes I love them and I love the latest one to bits! Too many things to note, especially of the film's audacity almost everywhere.. So, instead of being long-winded and robbing you of all the fun, I'll rob you of only a tiny bit of fun :p

My faves from "Team America World Police"

Fave song, by "Kim Jong-Il", you have to hear it man!

I'm so ronery
So ronery
So ronery and sadry arone

There's no one
Just me onry
Sitting on my rittre throne
I work very hard and make up great prans
But nobody ristens, no one understands
Seems that no one takes me serirousry

And so I'm ronery
A little ronery
Poor rittre me

There's nobody
I can rerate to
Feer rike a bird in a cage
It's kinda sihry
But not rearry
Because it's fihring my body with rage

I work rearry hard and I'm physicarry fit
But nobody here seems to rearize that
When I rure the world maybe they'rr notice me
But untir then I'rr just be ronery
Rittre ronery, poor rittre me
I'm so ronery
I'm so ronery

Second fave; I like the way they're written, as if the movie's a bug or the song you hear on the radio this morning that refuses to go away :p

I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark
When he made Pearl Harbor
I miss you more then that movie missed the point
And that’s an awful lot girl
And now, now you've gone away
And all I'm trying to say
Is Perl Harbor sucked and I miss you

I need you like Ben Affleck* needs acting school
He was terrible in that film
I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part
He's way better then Ben Affleck
And now all I can think about is your smile
And that shitty movie too
Perl Harbor sucked and I miss you

Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies
I guess Perl Harbor sucked
Just a little bit more then I miss you

* Just remember an episode of South Park which made a dig at Ben Affleck too.. Writers don't like him too much hur?

Fave dialogue, non-verbatim of course, cos my memory sucks:

(Gary asking Lisa to give him a chance, sincerely - at first)
Lisa: I can't, unless.. you promise you won't die!
Gary: But I can't promise that..
Lisa: If you promise you won't die, I'll make love to you right now!
Gary: *Eyes wide and looking sort of dazed, in a robotic voice - loins have obviously taken over heart and mind* I promise I won't die.

*Roll eyes*

Oh yes, above leads to the puppet sex scene.. Puppet has bigger boobs than - I shall not be personal - most people..

Also check out the trivialities.

Conclusion? I think the writers are damn niao - no other word! But I like. Might watch it again :p

PS: Pyramid scene looks weird to me, Sphinx seems to be facing the wrong way.. Can someone verify pls?

Friday, 11 March 2005

Konnichi ha!

Just edited my Friendster profile, might as well advertise here too:

mf wants to meet Tokyoites!

Some time back, I did a search for Tokyo urbanites; thought would be fun to find some locals to lunch with, practise my Jap, go Disneyland etc in the five days after Na's gone.. Now our travel plans have changed, I'm going to be by myself for eight full days before Na arrives. Think I need more friends than just Miki..

Anyway, one guy replied ok, the girls never did - wondering if they are straight girls thinking I were lesbian or I put up fake photos or whatever nonsense.. Hmmm.. Unfriendly!

I like solo travel, get to meet more people. On the Swiss Alps, I met a funky German who's a DJ (who later caught me sleeping with my mouth wide open in a train; he was on the platform and he knocked at the window and grinned - paiseh!); and an Australian who reminded me of Julie Delpy in Geneva - she happened to be learning French somemore; and a sweet Athena Zhu-lookalike Taiwanese girl I met in Scotland who visited me in Oxford a few months later.

Think I should start training myself to chat up strangers..

Thursday, 10 March 2005

The airhead speaks

Well, doesn't she always? :)

But there's a difference today. And yesterday. The airhead is more light-headed than usual. Reason: strong smell of glue and some aerosol in the office, which is building a new meeting room from a disused cubicle space right in front of her workstation.


The only thing stopping her skyward flight is the sound of the hoover in the yet-to-be-named room. Oh, the name will likely be some Jasmine (does it already exist? Can't remember..) or Rafflesia; almost all the rooms in this building are named after some flower or plant: Ixora, Angsana, Marigold.. Anyway, the sound, yes, the sound of the hoover is the only thing keeping her grounded, feet barely touching the ground but certainly, she isn't soaring out of the windows.

In case there's any doubt, she likes it. Though she is now wondering if the tiny potted plant in front of her is wilting for the same reason she's feeling light..

Wednesday, 9 March 2005

Kopi, my friend? :)

Inspiration for this piece struck suddenly, perhaps brought on by a gf a couple of days back.

Was chatting with her the other day, on how friends could go mia and gradually drop out of our lives from a lack of contact. And then there are some who can just suddenly decide oh, I don't want to be friends with you anymore, and cut you off completely.

The conversation arose cos a mutual gf has been unable to make it for the past few dinners. If friends don't catch up enough, they'll lose touch with each other's life and slowly fade into the category of acquaintances before eventually disappearing, isn't it? We don't want this happening with this gf..

I agree we may have little in common since we lead very different lives; work VS studies, single VS attached, cheongster VS, well, non-cheongster etc. But hey, I sure don't need, and definitely not wish, to discuss Singapore's fertility rates or lament about single life - ok, nothing to lament about; I'm no Sumiko Tan :p Just illustrating that I, for one, do not need to talk about things that relate to me alone, like I'm sure you won't want to discuss Black-Scholes with us either :p

But I'm sure we'll all like to know each other's dreams or plans, like when he completes that irritating report, once my bond finally ends, if she wins a million bucks; or to reminisce on the good old times; or simply, to plan for that long overdue Sentosa trip..

From when we shed our school uniforms for the last time, our paths have already started to diverge. It has been, what, more than six years since we left school? Yeh, long time and we've all come a long way both on our own and together since then..

Now, question: can people be friends forever?

I told CY before that I had imagined two of us at 60, having regular afternoon tea with our grandkids running about us :p But at one point some years back, I felt our friend-friend index dipped to an all time low. Fortunately for us, we picked up. Another one: now KLK is having 4hour kopi at J8 Coffee Beans, having graduated from 4hour fries at KAP. Will we be doing something similar in another six years?

Yan was saying that when people move on to different stages of life, friends could move on too, especially if they are at a different stage in life. For example, I guess it is not wrong to surmise that friendships may have to take a backseat when marriage and kids etc kick in. Common topic is only one factor, but one which I have already discounted; time is another facter, and a more important one at that, I feel. But for how long can friends stay in the background?

Though some may argue that an enduring friendship can withstand the test of time and distance, I beg to differ. Knowing the human heart, we're fickle and we forget. And we're often busy chasing that dream or dream house/car too! You don't maintain it, you lose it. And if you're fortunate for it to come back someday, it may unfortunately be no longer the same as when you first leave it.

So what do we do when time is tight? What would I do?

If a friendship is worth cherishing and I want to keep it, even if there aren't many chances to meet up, there'll still be time to at least drop an email - mass email if you so wish - or sms to keep up. Look at email, mobile, MSN, ICQ, Friendster and blogs etc! I believe these modern mechanisms are meant to faciliate communication rather than distance people from one another. So treat them not as a substitute, but as a complementary tool to reach your friends (and know more friends?). Surely, an email invite to dinner could take only a minute, and anyone can afford a fiver in between projects to take a peek into mf's world (and leave a comment)? :)

Monday, 7 March 2005

Plans disrupted!

Much anticipated trip to Tokyo/SF might need to be pushed back! =((

It snowed in Japan over weekend --> spring might be late --> cherry blossoms will bloom later --> we won't catch it!

We were trying to reschedule flights with travel agency but fares for Apr not out yet, have to wait until mid Mar, which sounds a tat too close to original departure dates. Very worried about the extra costs and accomodation in Tokyo. And the mtg on 18 Apr how??!

Maybe I worry too much. Maybe the snow was a freak. Recall the Apr snow/sleet of 2000, heat wave descended on us in May/June anyway.. Let's keep our fingers crossed..

Ahhh.. Happy..

Hello everyone! I'm refreshed! :) Weekend had been no hectic affair of lunch, gym and dinner in town - I was away in Bintan with Yan!

But the start wasn't too fun.. The tiny ferry was rocky on the rough seas. I was one among many who clutched the blue bag from beginner to end. Did I puke? No, but I did retch quite a bit ~.~ Hotel guy at the Bintan ferry terminal said I looked pale. Oh, pale mf! =( Nvm, what followed at the Nirwana resort was =) Anyway, let's get the disgusting bit out of the way!

So we put down our bags, had lunch at the hotel restaurant and took a bus to Pasar Oleh Oleh, which was hot and deserted, utterly disappointing! We spent most of our hour there in this tiny shophouse tended by a friendly young woman. So, though things weren't cheap, we each bought a sarong from her and Yan threw in a bikini as well. We hit the pools after that but only for a short while cos we had an appointment at Asmara Spas in the evening :)

The facial started with a foot soak - I know, random! :p Then the lady told me to take off my top.. Ok, have to admit that was my third facial in my entire life. The first was a fully-clad affair at Jean Yip's. The second was a free trial somewhere, with clothes on too, I think. But this one, when she said to take off my top, I was like, eh, with you standing right in front of me??! Communication wasn't great but in the end she got me a sheet to cover myself with. Then it was bliss and blissful sleep especially when I dozed off as she gave me a really good body massage after applying the mask. Yan said I looked radiant :) But she had three new pimples the morning after, aiyoh..

Dinner was interesting - Yan was a hit at the restaurant! She could speak some Bahasa Indonesian and charmed the waiters no end :) Three of them attended to us and I just busked in her light even though I couldn't understand what they were talking about :p One of them brought us flowers which we wore in our hair for the rest of the dinner.

Source: mf

We were so relaxed and sleepy by the end of dinner that we gave up the walk on the beach and the trip to the pub, and took a detour to our room via the pools. The sky was so beautiful. It was a deep, deep blue, almost black if you didn't look carefully. The bright stars were stunningly embedded in the blue, like diamonds. I thought it's amazing that when we look at the sky, we're actually looking right into the universe which stretches forever everywhere.. I always feel this awe when I recognise something so big I can't even imagine it be contained, like my greatest horror as a kid was that my huge basket of toys would topple cos there was no way I could put everything back again..! Erm..

Anyway, so, we were back in the room which faced the sea on the ground floor. I cut my fingernails; haven't had the time to do that since the manicure session just before CNY! After all the beauty regime, we resumed to talking, about work, about friends, about relationships, about random stuff. Glad for her that she had thought through her problem well and clear, and come to a decision of her next step.

Oh, question: do I, in any way, remind you of Sharon Au?! Both Yan and CY thought the same! Omg..

I like talking to Yan. We could both listen to and advise each other and we did that late into the night on Sat, until we both fell asleep..

The lovely morning sun woke me; Yan was already up. Oops, piggy mf :p
We changed into swim gear and went to the beach. The sand was incredible! Where it was dry, I felt like I was stepping on marshmallows; where it was wet, it was like a sponge that never went dry. While Yan was singing at the hammock in the shade, I was singing and jumping about on the beach. It was great with the sun beating down on me and the waves caressing my feet. Suddenly, I didn't want to go back.

We must have been there for at least an hour. By the time we got to the pools, it was 1115 - we asked the bartender, meaning yes, we both had a cocktail in bright day light :p I think the last time I did that must have been that Xmas morning so long ago when I couldn't resist that bottle of I-forgot-its-name on my window sill.. I tried to delude myself into thinking I could burn some calories by grooving to the music even as I was sipping the sinful concoction..

Before we left the resort, we took to the beach once more with a camera.

“为了你 修长身影 海鸥盘旋…”

source: mf

Ok, I have a thing for coconut trees, palm trees. Can't tell the difference..

Source: mf

I popped a seasick pill at the terminal; didn't wish to get sick again. But this time it was a bigger ferry, much bigger and more stable; I didn't feel sick at all - or the pill helped. Maybe it was the pill, maybe it was too little sleep over Fri and Sat, didn't know which but I was so sleepy! After dinner with Grams, I was positively switched off and I had to go back. But not before Grams came over with leftover food and asked me to clean up.. I didn't want to cos I was full but well, I succumbed. How could I bear to resist her? :)

Oh, I kena this huge bruise on the inside of my feet/ankle - I don't know what you call this part! Don't recall hitting anything though.. Pain ah..

Source: mf

The waiter at the restaurant kept asking us when we would go back to Bintan again. They were right to assume I would want to return to the island. Even though there wasn't anything to do except nua, swim, eat, stroll, massage/facial, since I don't do sea sports. Perhaps the next time I want some serious R&R and a long walk on the beautiful beach :) Missing it already..

Friday, 4 March 2005

mf in a trance, sort of

Lately, I find myself shuttling between two worlds: the real and the 4D.

Clarification: D for Dimensional, not Digits.

And I'm spending more and more time in the latter. I prefer that to reality.

But there's no food in my preferred space. Then I'll die and there'll be no mf's 4D world to speak of! *Gasp* So still need to come out to the real world to work and feed my physical shell so that I can indulge my mind.. Sighs..

Well, you know what I do in the real world - just like everyone else. Let me offer you a glimpse into the other world.

Here, there's no concept of time. Day or night, it looks the same inside. What do I do? I'm not too sure! It feels good just to be absorbed in its atmosphere and everything bad outside gives way to serenity. At peace, I'll toss over things that the real world doesn't allow time for. Give you samples:

1) Why do people kill? What's the point in fighting? I don't understand wars. I don't understand terrorism. This thought has been rotting in my brain cells for the past five years but I just find it so hard to articulate..

2) Read this about 3000 years ago, can no longer remember exactly when: there's no love without lust, and the converse is false. You might find this in my other blog, when I have time :p And on a related note, Kel just reminded me that virginity does not equate chastity, interesting.. Oh, about Kel, pls allow me to compliment (from mf! Wow!) that conversations with you have always been most enlightening without being overly chim for my wee brain :)

3) From young, you hear that "blood is thicker than water". Scientifically true but who says I must be close to my siblings? Or my parents for that matter? Then when you say you severe all ties, do you really mean it?

4) How would my life be if I just tweak one single variable, say, at the age of ten? How about exams years of 16 and 18? More variables? If I didn't go to Oxford? Where would this lead me?

5) If there's a next life, I have already decided that I'll be a girl again or a cat, if I can choose. Then Siok asked me one day, what would be the colour of mf the cat? Hmmm..

and etc..

A lot of these are actually things from the real world as you can tell. Call it info leaks. But info sips through the other way too, perhaps unknowingly.. Maybe one day, I'll put these thoughts into words. More words. But for now, I'm feeling so damn restless now.

Actually I find that I like telling the world what I'm thinking or what I want to think of instead of describing in minute details my exact thoughts about these things. I'm not that good at translating neuron actions into something intelligible la hur.. *Trying to redeem myself for my nonsensical entries*

Suddenly remember I need to sort myself out and I haven't done so yet. I'll try to do so from tomorrow, when I go to Bintan for a shirt R&R with Yan.

They say love conquers all..

A few of us gathered in the meeting room to watch "Ray" during lunch, took two days to finish. Very nice, the man's a genius with a heart and conscience. Everyone should go and watch. Pronto.

PS: Huppu Chan, no worries man, just keep your mobile on!!! :p

Ahh, feel like dancing now.. Let me change to my jazz playlist..

mf is imploding

I simply hate it when people do not reply to my email or sms that obviously needs a reply. Happens at work, happens with friends - some of these I'm not even sure if they fall into the "friends" category anymore but that's a separate story.

Like hell! Damn pissed this morning with work emails and sms! I sent a freaking reminder email (which was asking for an answer) and I received nothing so far. Deadline was clearly stated in the email ok and it wasn't anything difficult.. No comments also must say ma! And sms, yes or no so difficult meh?? I can accept no for an answer; just don't make me wait! I'm a woman of short patience and an even shorter temper.

On the other hand, there are those which do not require any reply, especially sms. Don't understand why sometimes people like to reply with "ok" when the answer (which isn't necessary) has to be "ok".. Next time, unless an affirmative answer is totally necessary, don't just "ok" me, ok! At least add a "have a good day" behind or something :p

Moral of the story: reply when necessary, PLEASE!

Ok, I should cool down now.

Thursday, 3 March 2005

I'm wearing a knee-length dress today

And my hand happened to be on my calf - don't ask me why..

Then, horror of horrors: I forgot to shave..

Actually I never used to shave my legs until the past month or so, when I realised my 4year old epilator is no longer working as well =(

Now I'll have to shave my legs. And I'll have tiny black stubs, don't like.. Only consolation is that it'll be faster and painless..

Next shave: Sat morning before Bintan. MUST remember..

I recommend Gillette Venus.

Random blogs

I like the "next blog" function.

Hit it like 3000 times yesterday - I was bored, remember? I like this one by Omni but I can't leave comments there.. And guess what, I just saw that he/she left a comment in mf's world. Ah, bless the "next blog" function :p

Also found a blog totally in Jap. Besides English, I've came across countless in Spanish, Arabic, even Thai! But in Jap, this is a first. I'll brush up on my Jap before 24 Mar! Have already borrowed JLPT book from Sito to read.. Still hope somehow that I'll pass JLPT 2 someday..

Wednesday, 2 March 2005

霹雳火 ended!

Can't believe it but I watched the last 20min of 霹雳火 last night!

Actually, I watched quite a bit of it since just before CNY, since I was mostly in those nights, tidying stuff etc..


Crappy and long. Thought it was already showing when I returned in Sep 2003 but apparently, it started in 2004. Ok, still very long; even I could hum the Hokkien tune they played before and after advert! But I'm not about to :p Anyway they changed it to Xiao Gang's song after the merger. Even crappier cos they just didn't go!

Btw, all the actors and actresses are so fair they must be endorsing some seriously whitening products. Too fair.. But wait, does Taiwan get much sun? Maybe it's all natural.. Think some girls would kill for such ghostly skin. Not me :)

Yawn yawn..

Feeling bored. Yes, at work but bored nonetheless. I've just finished a paper and I'm revising another - the beginning is always the hardest.

Thought I'd write since I'm bored and you'd read if you're bored too, so some random bites for us:

1) Wardrobe is falling apart. One door is gone, replaced by a curtain that wasn't long enough to reach the bottom. So Mother put a cardboard at the bottom, supposedly to keep out lizards - actually I never believe that works!

Black Mon, for the 10millionth time, the cardboard fell flat when I open the working door.

I scolded it vehemently.

2) Watched "Howl's Moving Castle" last night. Love the Sophie obaa-chan who was trying to be a good old lady and yet was a young girl inside, loving Howl with all her heart in her cleaning lady role in the castle.

Yes Joyce, I walked away with a warm fuzzy feeling :)

3) Lately I've been going to bed lying flat on my back. When I wake, I'm on my side with Meh in my arms and I don't know why or how come.

4) Was woken up last night by freaking heavy rains. Horrible sounds of thunder etc outside scared me. I curled up and went back to sleep immediately.

Then, I dreamed. I bought a tortoise, called it Ise (pronounced "ice"). It had a cracked shell. At first I thought the stupid shop sold stupid me a dead tortoise. Turned out to be alive but blamed me for the crack or something cos it tried to bite me. But I let it sleep on my bed anyway.

One morning, it was gone. Some machine I checked with revealed that Ise was "under the tree". Wtf, I thought, I see no freaking tree in my room! Then I saw the tiny potted plant which I'd never seen before. That's the tree? Crappy machine. Found Ise.

I woke. For good.

5) Is it nice if people hang on to your every word? Yes, makes me feel valued. Stressful? Yes too, cos I'm not the thoughtful kind. Then how? I don't think much before I speak so likely LL la!
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