Kai was lost... again!

Yes, he got lost in P1 and again now in Sec 1... At least this time, he is 13 and armed with a smart phone, not barely seven!

Again, he was on the bus and missed his stop. Only this time, he wasn't asleep; he was playing Roblox. So he didn't miss by just one stop as we did before coz blur until we saw the school fly by us. He missed by seven bus stops!

Yang and Yu were home yesterday due to PSLE marking these three days. So I was surprised to see a second SimplyGo notification saying Kai took bus 67. I went into the app and found that he alighted at Rochor, and then took 67 back to school. Lucky he always leaves the house very early so he was still early by the time he got to school.

Texted him immediately...

Mama: My dear boy, were you lost??

Kai: We don't talk about that

??!!

I dug into screen time and found that he was playing Roblox. And he used Google Maps too :p I blocked Roblox immediately. He has been playing chess on the bus since the start of the year with no problem but Roblox is indeed addictive!

When he came home, I asked him about it and he was rather sheepish and cheeky about it. Yes, he was playing Roblox but it was all his brothers' fault as they introduced it to him *.* When I told him I'd blocked it, he said he had deleted it. Was it due to missing the school bus stop? Ya, kind of.. Ok...

But it was a good learning experience, he said. So at dinner time, I asked him to share his experience with his brothers and we discussed what to do if they found themselves lost.

Kai said it was easy - just go across the road and take the same bus back. I agreed. And told them to also look at the information board for other possible buses too.

But what if there is no bus back?? It's time to call Papa and Mama! But Yu had a suggestion - take the bus to a MRT station and go home from there. Woohoo, that works too!

Yang and Yu also said they missed the school bus stop before coz they were either daydreaming or chatting but it was only one or maybe two stops, and they walked back with other kids walking along the same walkway, probably those staying in Novena/Newton area.

On a related note, I really like SimplyGo! 

Kai went camping

This was his second camp, first being the P5 camp. This time, it was for four days and three nights. Again, we got everything from Decathlon :)

Have fun, Kai!

Ya, he refused to turn around for a picture... Anyway, that was last Monday. I wouldn't have known what they were doing if not for the very active WhatsApp group chat among the parents. Many were worried about the escaped crocodiles from Batam but the kayaking went on anyway!

His absence was keenly felt. It was very quiet. Haha! Yang and Yu were happy to be on their own and were quite quiet in the day. We felt it more at night. Usually he would nua on our bed at 9.30 pm after finishing his chess games. On Monday night, nothing...

By Wednesday night, I was ready to have my Kai home!

On Thursday, Sito and I went to school for Kai's badge ceremony. So, the teacher told us, the kids would get a badge at the end of every milestone programme. For Sec 1, it was this Camp Discovery.

The boys reached school after we were seated. Thankfully, they didn't smell. Haha! But his bag smelled really bad coz he just dumped all wet stuff inside from day 1, yucks!

The kids were just loitering outside the classroom, staring in at the parents and just chatting, until a couple came in. Then I waved to Kai to get him in. The first thing he said was "act normal" - eh, ok...??? :p

One of the peer leaders addressed everyone before the start of the badge ceremony. Then the teachers got them out by registration number. It was very informal and everyone looked happy.

Kai didn't look happy but I think he was happy to leave the camp!

Their class happened to be the best class overall in the camp, for cheers and class flag etc, so there was a big pack of chips. Kai got two bags of chips which he devoured on the spot. Too hungry. We grabbed more food at 7-11 before going home.

Made him carry his own stuff :p

When he got home, he cried "home sweet home!" :p

That night, Sito and I sat on his bed while he put his head on Sito's leg and told us all about his camp. Briefly, kayaking on day 1, Sungei Buloh on day 2 and high elements on day 3. He was upset that he only managed to kayak for 30 min instead of three hours, coz the instructor claimed they were noisy. The wetlands were boring to him, but he enjoyed rock climbing, less so for abseiling.

It was very nice to hear him :)

The next day was wellness day, for them to rest at home after the camp. Sito brought Kai to Fong Sheng Hao for breakfast.

The pork and egg sandwich was yummy!

But he still preferred kaya butter toast. Ok we'll go for kaya butter toast after my ulcer is done!

Stalking the kids

Recently, I rely less on the smart watch to stalk the kids.

Kai and Yang started coming home from school on their own from January 2022. I was anxious, not least because they had to cross roads near the school. So I bought a GPS watch to stalk them. They already started going to school on their own since April 2021. But I was more anxious for the returning journey, maybe coz Kai slept past the bus stop before??

With Yu going to primary school, we started the sending and fetching again, before letting them go on their own from January this year, and return on their own from March. So the watch had a break before resuming service.

And then, in September, student concession cards could finally onboard Simply Go! So happy! Now I can get instant updates when they alight and when their balance falls below $5. 

Even though student cards allow them to board with balance as low as $1, I'd rather be safe as I've had a few close brushes already. Once, the boys went to Stevens MRT to change but Yang couldn't get through coz the bus ride to Stevens put him at below $1. His brothers had to exit the MRT and waited for the direct bus home, with Yang paying cash.

But the instant updates are the best. I know when they get to school. I know that they alight at the right bus stop - Yang and Yu had fallen asleep / stoned on the way to bus and alighted only two stops later *.* I know whether they are taking the direct bus home or changing to MRT when coming home. 

The limitation is that I would get the notification only when they tap out of the bus/MRT. If the train stalls, I would not know until I start to worry about the long time they take to get home! 

And this happened to Kai before - he was coming home from his penultimate Chinese tuition class when the train stalled. I was so worried coz he was late. It took me a while to think of checking the trains. What a relief when I saw that there was a train fault! But then I got worried again - is he ok, scared, tired? Luckily, the aircon in the train was working, and he had a seat and was doing homework while waiting. He could have borrowed a phone to inform me though *.*

So I'd still have the smart watch ready. They can use it to call me. Now it's one for all to share. Next year, Kai will have his own phone.

Sito and I were talking about going to and from school. We thought it was great that our kids can take public transport by themselves. In fact, they themselves learnt to take the train instead of the direct bus home; they don't like to wait long long at the bus stop so would hop on the first bus. And depending on the bus, they may change at Stevens or Botanic Gardens. 

Once when I fetched Yang and Yu home, I purposely let them lead the way. We were on the upper deck and these kids kept talking and talking but remembered to press the bell to alight at Botanic Gardens. To be honest, I would need to look and look to be sure it's the right bus stop!

And on Thursday, after dinner at Mother's place, Kai suggested taking the bus from just downstairs to Bishan instead of walking to AMK MRT to take the train to Bishan. He remembers that route and decides it's a better one - I agree!

Don't think I was so good with public transport in primary school. But then, I never had to take public transport with my school just across the road, and also, bus stops now have the route details... I'm glad the boys know how to make use of the information and remembers the route to take.

Only the Mama is worried about them crossing roads. I have a whole lesson on crossing road ready for them!

End of school runs

At least the regular ones. Will still need to send and fetch Yu on days when his brothers do not need to go to school, for maybe another year...

In January, Yang and Yu started going to school on their own. This Monday, we stopped fetching them home.

Still remember when Kai and Yang first came home on their own. I put a GPS watch in Kai's bag. Now, the same watch is in Yang's bag. But I think I should switch it to Yu's bag.

Yang proved himself very capable last year, when he came home on his own after oral exams. One of us was supposed to fetch him from the bus stop downstairs but he was much earlier than expected so he walked back on his own. And when we were crossing the road to the MRT station recently, I saw him look out for cars.

But Yu is another story. While Kai is very focused on his destination and Yang would just follow, Yu likes to jump and run about, and chat with Yang ALL THE TIME. So I'm super scared they will get distracted.

These two when I fetched them on the day I had lunch in their school

I always have to remind them to stay behind the bollards, not just behind the yellow lines. Especially when coming home coz there are so many kids trying to board the bus! Yes, I'm paranoid this way - and many other ways!

Then Yu follows only Kai one day each week, as Yang has CCA on Mondays now that he has changed from badminton to art club. (Kai is peeved that Yu has no CCA - this year, the school didn't open CCAs for P2s - but that's another story.)

Yu is kind of fearful of being kidnapped due to two incidents. The first was during a Legoland trip last year. He went to the toilet and I waited for him outside; he no longer wants to go to the ladies with me. Later back at home, he told me that a guy in the toilet asked him where his parents were! I forgot his response - he either said outside or he ran out. Then - ok, my fault - I told him he must not run about in case he got kidnapped coz he's so cute!

The second incident was a couple of months back. They go to the playground downstairs on their own before dinner sometimes. They are supposed to go and return together but these kids like to rush to the lift and be the first to get to the bathroom *.* So once, Yu got into a lift without his brothers. A man was in the lift with him and asked him the same question. He quickly pressed 4 - that lift stops every four floors - and ran down the stairs to find Yang.

Now he's fearful of being kidnapped. Coz he thinks he's so cute, haha!

So on Monday, he was scared that Kai would, as usual, run ahead and leave him alone. We spoke to them in depth on Sunday and made Kai promise not to run off.

Sito also had to make Kai and Yu sit together during a rehearsal

Yang took the watch that day as he would be coming home on his own so I put Kai's phone in Yu's bag in case GeGe ran off and he needed to call us. But I couldn't track Yu. Turned out that the hi!card had been depleted. Strange coz we just topped up the week before for Kai to call us after tuition.

Sito topped it up remotely but within an hour, the value went down by $4! After checking, Sito found that data was very expensive! And somehow the phone eats data while idle. Or maybe coz I was tracking it. Anyway, now we decide to just put the watch in Yu's bag. Kai and Yang are very ok on their own now.

One thing I forgot about was that they sometimes take the train home instead of the bus. When they take the bus, they just need to cross one traffic light downstairs. When they take the train (coz they don't want to wait longer for that one bus home), they have to cross a carpark entrance/exit and a two-way road with a divider - no traffic lights etc.

Wa my heart...

Will have to continue to remind them about road safety. And to take care of each other especially when their hands are full of files!

A lizard's tale

I had a huge lizard scare this morning. I don't know which was bigger - the lizard or the scare...

Monday night, I turned on the light to find a huge lizard just above the window in the kitchen. I shooed and it went out. We closed the kitchen window and our bedroom window which are separated by only a narrow wall.

Yesterday morning, I sprayed lizard repellent all over the underside of the awning right outside both windows and all walls outside these windows. Last night I left the windows open as usual.

This morning, I turned on the light and saw a huge lizard on the door of a base cabinet in the kitchen. It looked just like the one on Monday night. It must be biding for a chance to enter our home! Grrrr...

The thing is, this lizard froze. It didn't move when I shooed it. I remembered how JY killed a roach and a lizard recently with her Magiclean stick so I pulled two dry sheets over mine and armed myself in front of the lizard.

But I could not do it!!!!

And it was not just because the pad was wobbly due to the rotational function of the stick.

I was scared. And I didn't dare to kill a big thing.

I thought of shooing it again but it didn't move even when I put the stick very close. I wondered if the lizard repellent had made it blur.

Kai woke slightly later than usual which bought me some time. But when I heard him turn off his aircon, I decided I had to get the day going. Nuked the milk first. Armed myself again.

Still cannot!!!

Kai was upset when he saw that breakfast was not ready. This boy is always gan cheong in the morning...

"It's just a stupid lizard!"

Then you help me la... But I didn't say that. I just held my stick sadly. By then, the lizard turned its body a little... 

Then Yang and Yu got up. Oh no, I had to get the day going!

I asked Yang if I should kill it. The last time we had a lizard in the morning, a small one, I trapped it under a clear box and he asked me to set it free. But this time...

"Yes, kill it!"

I hesitated. And this boy came over and took the stick from me!

"I'll help you do it."

Wa! My hero!

But no la, I didn't let him do it... No blood on my child's hands, hoho!

I went to tell Sito. I don't know why. Was I expecting he would kill it? Eh, maybe. But no, he muttered sthg and remained in bed *.*

Yang encouraged me and offered his, um, service again. On the other hand, Yu was standing a bit further.

"I'm scared..."

Don't teach my children such fears, I told myself. 

"Ok, I'm inspired by my brave Yang! I shall do it!"

I hesitated some more but eventually, I whacked it!

And I didn't let go. I knew it was under the pad now but what would happen when I let go?

Well, first the tail dropped and continued to wiggle on the floor! (Btw, it continued to move long after the lizard was dead!) Then the lizard piaked onto the floor and moved off! I chased it with the stick and quite quickly killed it. It took another three whacks? There was slight blood stains on the door and two spots on the floor.

I felt a bit sad :( Relieved, yes, but also a bit sad. Or maybe scared. I don't know.

At this point, Sito came out and told me it was less easy to kill as it was a vertebrate. Thanks ah...

My brave boy with his roselle plant which I dumped ytd coz it was dying

It was interesting to see the reactions of the three - one couldn't be bothered, one wanted to help, one was hiding. All three were super cute, even Kai's irritated response. But Yang was the cutest la. Next time your turn! But let me get a non-wobbly stick first.

It was also interesting to see my reaction. There were always lizards in AMK. And their poop. I leave them alone coz I didn't need to do anything about it. I mean, Mother was there right? Haha! But there was two memorable episodes.

I saw two big, fat, white lizards fighting under the TV shelf one day. I heard noises and peeked. I think I backed off. Not my fight! On retrospect years later, I wondered if they were mating :p

The second episode was downright horrifying. I was having dinner on the chair next to the wall when a lizard jumped from the wall right behind my ear into my plate and continued running off! Wth! I cried, tears and all. To this day, I couldn't fathom why it would do that...

When Sito and I moved into our first home together, there was also a few memorable lizard episodes - lizard ran across the kitchen counter, lizard giving me a scare behind the dish rack, lizard in the bathroom! We put up lizard traps a couple of times. 

I think it was in our second home when I began to fear and then hunt lizards. We had many, many lizards. When I was working from home, I kept heard the tsk tsk tsk noise from somewhere near the fridge. After helper left, it took many lizard traps to finally reduce the population to nothing except for an unlucky few which ventured in. Now that I think about it, there was an insane number of lizard scares.

• Lizard crawled over my foot in the kitchen! 
• Lizard ran across the middle of the living room and over my foot again! 
• Single popcorn on the floor in the morning when I dumped it in the bin last night - thanks, lizard. 
• Lizard ran from me to in between kids' mattress and the wardrobe - wa liao I just had to let it be else I would wake the kids! 
• Lizard on the microwave door frame kena squashed when Sito closed it to heat up his food - yes there was a crunch! Then helper said the food was covered so could still be eaten *.* Nope, we threw the food away.
• Lizard scaring me when I pushed the curtains aside to clean the floor. 
• Lizard on clothes hanging in the yard. 
• Lizard escaping from dining table / pantry counter when we turned on the light. 
• Baby lizard on desk which I ignored but climbed from behind to under the desk, ending up on my thigh!!

I have SKP boxes to trap lizards to throw. But they only work for small lizards. And it may take a long time for them to crawl up so that I could slide in the cover. In the past six months of living here, I had trapped only two or three. The rest, apart from this morning, I had to use the lizard spray to help kill it.

My heart is thumping as I write this. Very scary to kill something this big. 

Yes, yes, I know some people say that lizards are good coz they eat small insects. I saw online how some people set up "humane traps" for lizards and then release them outside. Then they'll go back or to another house?! I can't stand lizards coz they leave poop about and worse, they look damn scary! 

I know it's impossible to keep lizards out the whole time but I'll keep up my weekly sprays. If it cannot repel 100%, at least let it retard the lizards so I could whack them!

Little incidents in school

Found this draft dated 27 Jan 2019. 2019 leh! So thought I'd compile a list of memorable incidents... Actually, not many...

Jun 2016

Yang had a febrile fit in school while I was at an evening FGD. That was his second time.

May 2019

Kai was a lost boy. That was right after school, not exactly in school.

27 Jan 2019 - the draft :p

I was discussing some work with my boss on 23 Jan Wednesday morning when I got a call from the school general office - lucky I saved the number so I picked it up quickly. It was only 8 am. Kai had a bee or wasp sting?!! The staff told me that they had applied a cold press. Kai sounded like he cried. When I asked whether he was ok to go back to class, he said he didn't know. That meant he was ok la :p When I saw his cheek in the afternoon, it didn't look like it was a bee sting. He also couldn't tell me whether the insect flew off or died. Ah well...

The next day, Kai had his first spelling test. He told me he got full marks. I was surprised it got marked so quickly. "No, I knew it." Alright!

2021

Yu had a fall in school and came home with a baluku adjacent to his old baluku *.* This is one hardy boy. He had been hurting his head since about eight months old?!

Three days before the end of the school year, I got a call from Kai's teacher when I was in Ikea. Kai had a run-in with a classmate. She spoke with both of them together. When asked what he should do next, Kai gave an unexpected answer - "kill myself"! 

The teacher told me that while the school counsellor found no sign of suicide ideation, she thought she should tell me. I also told her that he said that at home as well but more in anger and jest. 

Still, I decided to have a one-one with Kai that evening. Told him to reach out to parents or a trusted adult if he ever had any thoughts of hurting himself. No one who loves him would agree to him hurting himself.