Tuesday, 31 January 2012

A beautiful winter day

It's such a pleasant day today that I walked 30 min home instead of taking the bus after tutoring at the elementary school. A squirrel obviously thought the same as it ran from a lawn to a tree - I haven't seen these furry cuties since late last year! Although a frozen and very dead rat was spotted just outside our building a couple of weeks ago *.*

Now our windows are open and the breeze is refreshing. And driving out the smell of fried luncheon meat from our apartment :p I don't even feel cold wearing a sleeveless top sitting at the window. And my decaf genmaicha remains warm.

The trees are still bare. Some big piles of snow remain in the carpark downstairs. Otherwise, this could have been a spring or early summer day.

Stay, you beautiful weather, please stay :)

Friday, 27 January 2012

Thinking about my housewife/working mum-transit

Some work stuff came up for three consecutive days.

Wednesday, I dreamt that Sito and I were both consultants but for different companies. I carried my poor baby everywhere with me and at every hour until I got fed up and came up with some system (god knows what!) that allowed me and subsequently the whole company to have better work-life balance!

Thursday, I prowled SGDI to check out the departments in my old office which had been revamped in the past year. I realised that I may have a problem at the end of my no-pay leave.. All the positions appeared filled. Non-MAs/AOs will probably be there to stay. MAs/AOs will be posted out but they may be replaced by incoming ones. So will there be a role for me?

Sito suggested trying MOE. Bigger ministry. There are probably vacancies? Possible. Education is close to my heart. And it's near home hoho! I mean, 做生不如做熟, but if the 熟 has become 面目全非 (revamped already), I may be better off in the 生 right?

Or maybe I should heed the "advice" of that dream and look outside the public sector...

Friday, i.e. today, got a nice message from TC that they all missed me! Nice bunch of people but too bad I'm not interested in what may kill me - stats! No, it doesn't make me stronger *.*

I've decided that I will go back to work (forgot to publish this last week - be nice to me and go read it :) ), but I'm seriously wondering what kind of job I'll be in comes 2013. Should really tidy up my resume and tune my housewifey brain a little. I'm really rusty now. Having such a relaxed and laid back life for such a long time has slowed me down. And I've never been quick to begin with! How to field questions from bosses like this?!

Being pregnant doesn't help. I don't know why but this afternoon, I used four cups of rice for one packet of chicken rice mix instead of my usual three. And I almost cooked four cups of plain rice. Luckily I caught myself before I washed the rice because all these were for a dinner of four and one serving is typically half a cup!

Anyway... Yes, I'm already thinking of work - the job itself, how I'll re-adapt to work, how to manage work and family. Will need to talk to some people by mid year and make some decisions. My to-do list upon returning to Singapore is getting longer every other week!

Thursday, 26 January 2012

15w6d and happy!

When I was suffering morning sickness, I commented that the fear of morning sickness could make me stop at one, although it seems that people keep having children because after the delivery, they forget how difficult a pregnancy can be.

Well, I was wrong - I've already forgotten the pains of morning sickness!!

Granted, I still can't drink plain water without feeling gassy and I now have a constantly dripping nose. But I haven't puked for three weeks and the last time I felt nauseous was two weeks ago. The nose, well, it isn't like I haven't dealt with that before so yes, I'm managing.

The biggest setback is that I can't sleep through the night since about week 12. I'll keep waking and if I'm lucky, I doze off pretty quickly but mostly, especially if I wake around 5 am, I'll stay awake trying to make at least one nostril functional until the sky lights up. Tmd.

So for about a week now, I've been trying to nap in the afternoon. I even set an alarm to remind myself to sleep and another to wake me two hours later. Unfortunately, I'm not used to napping and if I manage to doze off, it would be only for about 30 min. Well, better than nothing!

This morning, I was tossing in bed, hoping to sleep until noon cos I was so tired! But suddenly, I got hungry. Very. Hungry. I couldn't wait to brush my teeth! And I skipped my half cup of warm water with lemon and went straight for the oatmeals. This was the second time this week. Am I going to start gorging myself henceforth?? Hmmm, I don't mind.. Haha!

Skyped with Jo the other day. She said I seemed to be showing already. Alas, it was just my spare tyre! All these years, I've always been pulling in my tummy muscles to keep looking slim - vain :p But since the morning sickness started, I felt so bad I couldn't be bothered anymore - just let it loose! Now I'm all natural!

But she was right - I should continue to keep myself pretty! So I'm going to freshen up even though I'm just going out to run some errands. And for dinner with the girls tonight, I'll doll up like I did for LNY eve! Only that I WILL remember to cleanse and detox my face properly this time!

Overall - happy :)

Monday, 23 January 2012


Check out our dinner party last night at T's place!

S (T's husband) is soooo lucky.... I told Sito I also wanted a wife who could cook well :)

Oh yes, it was the same group as Christmas, except that R was replaced by his newborn son :)

It started raining heavily just as we left the party. I must have caught a chill somehow cos this morning I started sneezing again. Or it could be because I slept late at 1 plus. No, it wasn't because I was 守岁-ing; I quit doing that when I got sick of the LNY show years ago. (And if it's good, there's the repeat telecast the next afternoon! Why suffer panda eyes??) I was up watching 步步惊心 :p It's such a good show! I think I'll finish it tonight...

And I called back of course, partly obligatory. You know, after last year's episode... But well, managed to tell Mother about little baby:

mf: 你要抱孙了!
Mother: 谁?
mf: ...


Anyway... I also spoke with Ah Yee who still sounded the same and very busy with the festivities. Now no more Grams to help with the steamboat... And of course Yan who is back in Sg now - so envious! Don't know when I'll see her again.. Won't be able to go to her wedding reception this April - trying to reduce long flights - and next year, I hope for her that it will be her turn to be unable to take long flights :)

I'm now sitting here with a thick layer of detox cream mask on my face. Should have done that last night cos I put on makeup for the dinner. Now I'm suffering an emerging pimple with a potentially devastating radius on my nose :( You know, I just want to blow my nose without feeling more pain than there already is. Of course it's best if I don't have to blow my nose at all but it doesn't look like that's possible in this weather and with my hormones wrecking havoc. Bah.

Just sent a message to remind Sito to buy milk on his way home from school. I'm too lazy to go out for just a gallon of milk :p And yes, I'm still in my PJs. Going to read more blogs before Sito comes home for lunch. I'm pretty excited about cooking today - first day of the new year ma, must cook something nice! Nothing exciting for lunch though, cos I have leftover sausages for pasta - my version of 年年有余? :p But for dinner, we're going to have mapo tofu!! Found a new bottle of spicy bean sauce from one of the graduates last June - more spicy dishes to come!

Sunday, 22 January 2012

Happy 龙年!

Yeah, it's Lunar New Year! :)

Yes, "lunar" instead of "Chinese". That's been the trend for a while, although the abbreviation LNY will still take some getting used to...

In multi-racial Singapore, I believe it isn't just the Chinese who celebrate this festival. And, it's the more accurate translation of 农历新年 anyway.. Hope we don't see any more horrendous translation of "Chinese New Year" to "中国农历新年"!!

Making our usual Sunday lunch now - porridge :) Tonight, we'll be heading to a friend's place for a big dinner! Can't wait to welcome the dragon year!

Happy dragon year! 恭祝大家新年快乐,万事如意,龙年行大运!Huat ah!

Thursday, 19 January 2012

miso interviews mf

I have been waking up in the middle of the night. Sometimes I'll doze off. But I'll wake again. And I'll lie there watching the sky turn bright.

Had some thoughts during those sleepless hours in the past week. I'll organise these thoughts with the help of miso..

Years back, I said that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mum. But after all these months of being a housewife, I think maybe I cannot stay at home. There are only so many dramas I can watch! It's quite a chore trying to think of things to cook. And in Singapore, I don't really need to cook. I'll be more bored! But maybe it's because baby is not in my arms yet - less things to do... Anyway, I figure that to keep myself occupied - and for practical financial reasons of course - I should get my ass back into the workforce.

miso: So, what is your motivation for work?

Our kids. I want our kids to have a better life than I ever had as a kid. And when they grow up, they should be able to have their own life without worrying about their parents' financial needs. Having an income additional to Sito's is a means of doing that.

miso: So will you be looking for some high-paying jobs?

Money is just a means of providing for our kids; it's not everything. So I must balance income level and time. Sito may be travelling lots. So I must be around for our kids. I'm hopeful *fingers crossed* that my old department with its increased strength will be less hectic than before. After all, my unit has been split into three!

miso: So... You're motivated by a desire for public service too?

Um, not really.. Maybe when I was younger.... I know that the work can have a positive impact on the country, on many people. Unfortunately, no matter what we do, it's never enough, and/or there will always be people who are unhappy. And unhappy people tend to be louder. There is just too little positive feedback for public service to be a motivator. It can only be a cause to believe in. Motivator, no.

Besides, I don't earn hundreds of thousands :) Which lead me to a thought on the ongoing debate over political salaries - it reminded me of that GP discussion in JC1 on the meaning of life. It was such a long and pointless discussion! No one was satisfied with any answer. Yet we all went on living, didn't we?! I'm being practical - there are more pressing matters than frivolous discussions on philosophical ideals and principles.

miso: Earlier, you mentioned a better life for your kids. So you believe in social mobility?

When I am a product of positive social mobility, of course! My parents were hardly educated; among the three of us kids now, we have two degrees and two poly diplomas. We went from under the 10th percentile of household income to about the 40th percentile when MZ and I started work. My current household was doing even better before we left our jobs in 2010.

But I had a little discussion with a friend lately. Social mobility, especially economic mobility, can be easily wiped out in an instant say if old parents with no CPF and little savings succumb to any major illness. That's why we must work hard to also ensure that we do not burden our kids in future. The whole 养儿防老 thing is bullshit. I must make sure that I'm the last generation in my family to fear its repercussions.

And, social mobility varies from generation to generation. My generation has gone much further than my parents' generation because they started at a low base. We can help our kids go the furthest they can, but realistically, I cannot expect them to achieve another quantum leap in standard of living. Well, unless they work on Wall Street or become amazing entrepreneurs or something along those lines. I can hold only such aspirations for them but not such expectations.

miso: What if your kids are not smart?

Then I hope they're willing to work very hard! 就算扫地也要扫到最干净!That's what we said when we talked about this a while ago.

But I had a little rethink this week. My little girl from the tutoring programme came back from winter break unable to tell "no" from "on"! Now I'm seriously wondering if she is dyslexic... I could hardly communicate in English at that age but I could actually read a story book. Maybe she isn't making enough effort..

So, the bigger question for me is whether I can be patient with kids who are not like me, be it in terms of um, intellect (I believe I do have some smarts!) or willingness to work hard. I guess I won't know until it happens.

*** some days later ***

miso: You idiot! You forgot to publish this!!


I eventually clicked "Publish" on 27 Feb 2012, when I was trying to make a reference to this post but couldn't find it... Guess my smarts are limited *.*

Sunday, 15 January 2012

Getting ready for home!

We just had a slice of bah kwa while examining the MRT map. Sito kind of moved along the Circle Line twice in the past few years :)

These days when I have nothing to do (which is often!), I will think about things to do when we get back. First and foremost, combine eating and catching up with friends! Breakfast, brunch, lunch, hi-tea, dinner and supper! I've already very kiasuly thought of where to go for certain foods...

Amoy when I go back to office: Two stalls of wonton mee, fish soup, fruit juice, fish ball noodle soup, Ipoh hor fun, seafood hor fun - all within two facing rows! And of course bah chor mee, char kway teow and teh halia..

Tanjong Pagar where we took our wedding photos: Dim sum cos I like their big fat guo tie!

Maxwell - looks like I must go back to office often: Economy rice, vegetarian economy rice, Ho Kee porridge, prawn mee, mee siam, cookie stall

Blk 409 when I go to find Mother: Glutinous rice, economy bee hoon, nasi lemak, fried carrot cake, roti prata

Downstairs: Crystal Jade dim sum and la mian xiao long bao, Sushi Tei, zi char, Breadtalk, Each-A-Cup

Besides eating, I also want to do foot reflexology at Chinatown, facial at Amore, pilates somewhere, and shopping! Oh, and I want to take the Circle Line to places where we've always wanted to go, like the Korean BBQ place at Pasir Panjang, Labrador Park for a stroll etc..

Then there are 正经事 to do too, wrt our apartment and baby, and I've already written out a task list with specific deadlines. Must be prepared :)

And looking around our apartment now, I think I need to start packing certain things. There are so many things I'll love to bring back but we may have a luggage issue... See how la..

Sito is still reading off his iPad. So nice to have finished all his homework for next week :) Now we're just relaxing with some background music.. Gonna join him on the sofa now!

Saturday, 14 January 2012

I heart Singapore :)

This morning I saw a picture of ramen posted by MT, and I got so emo that I teared when talking to Sito about it. So we googled for ramen near us and found it! I was saved!!

I had tonkotsu ramen set while Sito had a tempura udon set, both of which came with a side of California maki. There was free flow ice water and hot barley tea. And before we left, we bought decaf genmai cha and a small tub of azuki flavoured ice-cream which turned out to be very good with real azuki beans!

A bowl of steaming ramen made me realise how much I had taken Singapore for granted. All kinds of cuisine are so easily accessible - yes, I'm ruled by my tummy now. And a new Malaysian Food Street just opened at RWS! As I continued to click through on CNNGo, I also found that I don't know my country very well - there are so many food places to try and so many things to do and explore.

I've been reading too much trash online from fellow Singaporeans, strangers who sound like they hate (living in) Singapore, trolls on certain forums and blogs. Even among my friends, I often see negative Facebook posts about Singapore.

On the other hand... Sito went to a Singaporean gathering last night. It was quite late so I didn't go - cold! But more than 10 people were there, and guess what? Only four were born and bred Singaporeans. The rest were either immigrants, or what we call "associates", i.e. those who have studied and/or worked in Singapore. And then there was this guy who turned up simply cos he likes Singapore! I beamed just hearing about the evening :)

So my sample isn't exactly statistically representative.. But it just makes me wonder why it seems that Singaporeans have more negative feelings about their own country? Because we see the everyday things more clearly? Or because we're hooded by our daily family and work demands?

In the past, I had felt frustrated living in Singapore too. Hot outside but freaking cold in the office and in the malls etc. Unable to get cabs at night. Too much work to enjoy life.

But after being away for more than a year, I'm seeing Singapore in a different light. Before Sito got his job offer in Sg, I was pretty happy about staying here. I never really missed Singapore. But since we knew our destination this summer, I just can't wait to get back!

I think I'll never want to leave again. Except for the occasional vacation. The recuperative vacation after each vacation can only be home in Singapore :)

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

A letter to my DS

Dear Digestive System,

I'm sorry that you're facing some external interference that's causing you to malfunction at times. I'm suffering with you too, you know?

There's nothing much I can do for you right now except to support you by sending healthy foods and drinks your way. At the same time, I would appreciate some reciprocal support fom you as well. For example, while I eat regularly and moderately, you can move the food in one direction and more quickly. And, 没事胃痛一整天,可以不要吗?!!!!

Oops, I'm sorry I yelled but yesterday was really uncalled for - I was a good girl and yet you did not respond kindly to anything I ate. Please do not disappoint me like that again. I promise that in a few months' time, I'll reward you with all the comfort food you want. Before then, let's work together for a healthier you and me, ok?

Best regards,
:) mf

Monday, 9 January 2012

Swinging moods

Yesterday was such a fine day! I was up and about the whole day except for the hour or so of post-lunch slump when we were nua-ing in bed - love our weekends!

But greediness got the better of me last night - I finished up a whole packet of soy bean milk cos I was so thirsty. And shortly after that, I felt sick and went back to my whine seat - the good old sofa.

So there I was, grouchy for quite a while and Sito couldn't do anything about it. That is, until he decided to have a snack - instant noodles! I took a couple of bites and suddenly felt good enough to go to bed.

But my sleep was short-lived. Woke at 1.30 am feeling extremely mang zang - haven't felt that mang zang since the very long assemblies in secondary school! Kicking the duvet did not help. Sito made me take a little walk (10 steps hoho!) to the living room and lie down on the sofa. Almost fell asleep there.. Love my whine seat! Too bad it'll break my back if I sleep on it for too long..

Went back to bed eventually but it was a fitful sleep. I was drifting in and out of sleep for most of the night, with a silly nose that alternated between being blocked and dripping.

When his alarm clock finally went off, I had been awake for some time and sneezing my head off. Woke with a cold :( And I haven't been having enough fluids - what if I get dehydrated?!

The sneezes were bad and blowing my nose made my heart race. And I had to cancel a tea this afternoon. I felt really frustrated, argh!

Then I remembered my TCM doc's words a while ago when I had to stop taking her herbs which worsened my morning sickness - she said I could make goji berry tea to drink at home. If I can't drink plain water, maybe I could drink that? I used to do that in office after trying it at my spa.

So here I am, my thirst quenched by half a cup of hot goji berry tea, fed into my system teaspoon by teaspoon :) The goji berries are all fat and swollen now, very cute. And cos I didn't use boiling water - I used hot water plus one minute in the microwave - they are still whole and not nua nua. I can keep topping up until tonight!

And somewhere along the way, my nose has miraculously stopped dripping!

Feeling better now... I don't like to feel mang zang or sick. I want to be happy! (Time to find another drama to watch!) Hope that this additional hydration can help me sleep better henceforth... I would really, really love a good night's sleep!

Sunday, 8 January 2012

On my birthday

Woke up very early this morning cos I couldn't go back to sleep after somehow waking up at 6-ish.. After watching the sun rise and nua-ing a bit in bed, I got up to a lot of love on my phone and FB :)

I snuggled into bed again at 11 am to wake the husband..

Sito: Happy birthday! *sleepy*
mf: Thanks! Your wife turns 32 today!!

A couple of days ago, he said that 32 sounded much older than 31. What to do? I AM getting older!

Still, I really really hope time can go faster this year :)

In fact, I think I've always wanted to time to go by faster. When I was a kid, I wanted to grow up and leave the house asap. Even now in my 30s, there are so many things to look forward to even as I grow older.

But well, things can't be rushed. I'll be patient and live in the present and be happy. As Mum said in her FB message, 一定要幸福! :)

Rainbow baby* :)

On Saturday, 5 Nov 2011, two days after knowing that we would be going back to Singapore, I woke up feeling like I HAD to take a pregnancy test. So I did. And like the last time, the double lines gave me a wonderful surprise :)

Pregnancy test at 4w1d:

I hoped that unlike the last time, this pregnancy would result in a healthy baby..


I've been writing down my feelings and thoughts in the past two months in a pregnancy app on my phone but haven't got down to posting here partly cos we wanted to wait a bit before announcing, and partly cos I was - still am, a bit - suffering from morning sickness.. Here they go, all at one shot! After this, I'll probably update as and when I have something to say..

PS: Could be a bit TMI :p

Monday, 7 Nov 2011 - 4w3d

I HAD to test again. This time, the test line was darker. Good.

But I wondered how come I didn't feel my boobs hurting like the last time.. But this time wouldn't be like the last time...

(And the girls started feeling sore the next day...)

Wednesday, 9 Nov 2011 - 4w5d

Um, I HAD to test yet again. The test line remained dark. Good.

Off to TCM to for more acupuncture. I think I have 缘 with TCM :)

Also went to a clinic 30 minutes away to get a proof of pregnancy for insurance. It turned out to be a urine test too - the difference between that and my tests was that that had a doctor's signature backing it. Oh, and I weighed 127 lb, less than 130 lb at home :p

I had absolutely no appetite. And when I ate, I had a lot of flatulence, oops. In company, I couldn't um, let go, and that hurt *.*

Then came the painful pimples... Sito said maybe it would be a boy - different hormones... But all the signs - website, feeling, etc - all said it would be a girl.. We shall see.. Anyway, a few days later, I told this baby that I would gladly take all the pimples from him or her. Just be healthy.

Wednesday, 16 Nov 2011 - 5w5d

I was feeling like shit last night. Like rather mang zang. There was nothing I wanted to do.

Just now on the bus back from TCM, I felt a little sick. I was burping a lot. Morning sickness? I'm quite happy to have morning sickness. I like some constant indication that this baby is doing well.

The next few days and weeks confirmed that it was morning sickness! At first, I would feel sick only when I started to get hungry, i.e. before lunch and before dinner. I would be burping lots and feeling tight-chested. Then it changed. I would feel sick almost all the time. When we went to Milwaukee the next week, we found that if I could eat something every two or three hours, I would feel less yucky. So for two weeks, I force fed myself *.*

Baby, can I have all the pimples in the world instead of morning sickness? Please?

(Update 9w2d: First new pimple in some three weeks! But morning sickness remains...)

Saturday, 3 Dec 2011 - 8w1d

I had my first puke. Needless to say, it wasn't pleasant :( And I found tiny red spots on my face after that - seemed that the force of the puke broke some capillaries!

At first, when I just had the nausea and no puke, I just lived with it. But with this first puke, I got worried that I might become dehydrated... I haven't been drinking plain water since the nausea hit - it makes me sick! I end up drinking Pepsi *.* and later soy bean milk. Coke doesn't help for some reason.. I haven't had this much Pepsi since I was a teenager!! I stopped cooking for quite a while cos I couldn't stand the smell of starch being cooked. So during that time, it was Chipotle or Chinese takeout or just a big cup of Jamba Juice.

After that first puke, I also had a most torturous night trying to sleep. The burping didn't help. And I suddenly got this horrible back ache. And that marked the beginning of bad nights. These days, I would usually go to bed by 11 pm or so, but fall asleep only after 2 am.

After that, I puked on the bus to town, on the train to town. Thankfully I had a plastic bag on me. Just had to carry a bag of puke until my destination.. The worse bout was 11-13 Dec 2011, that was 9w2d to 9w4d. I puked every morning! According to websites, the HCG hormone peaks between weeks nine and 12. Hopefully the daily puke signified my peak?

Tuesday, 6 Dec 2011 - 8w4d

We met baby for the first time today :)

When I first saw it, it was just a little dot in a black hole. Then, another angle, and there it was!

Ok, this wasn't the best shot. We could actually tell that the head was on the right side, and there were little dots near the big body which I presumed were the buds of the limbs :) And I thought baby was moving a little.. It could be that it was just floating about in "bed"...

And we could see the heartbeat AND hear it! It was so fast! 173 per minute! (Hope the Pepsi had nothing to do with it!) Based on forum chitchats, high heart rate probably means a girl :p Told my TCM and she said back in Beijing, they used to guess the gender by the strength of the pulse on both wrists - a stronger right pulse indicates a girl and I do have a strong right pulse hoho! But she said many times they got it wrong too..

Anyway, based on the ultrasound, cos my period was crazy, due date is estimated to be 14 Jul 2012 :)

Then we saw an old doctor at the hospital who explained everything in great details before sending us on our way to schedule future ultrasounds and to do blood and urine tests.

Took almost two hours with hardly any waiting time!

We walked 30 min back from the hospital, and along the way, we had a nice little chat, the exact content was forgotten but it was about baby. Happy :)

Thursday, 15 Dec 2011 - 9w6d

Today, I feel kind of good. And I'm grateful.

This is a 100% Singaporean baby. I've been thinking of Singaporean food for the past two weeks! So deprived...

mf: Eh, your baby always wants Singaporean food..
Sito: But I don't like glutinous rice.
mf: And I'm not craving for your fave hokkien mee...
Sito: Then not mine..


Ya, we're crazy :p

I'm so grateful that I'm not working - I've stopped wearing a bra :p Need to leave the chest area free to heave when I burp or puke *.* With the cold, I just wear more layers.. And I'm very very grateful that Sito is not busy. He has been taking care of me since morning sickness started ruling my life - doing laundry, preparing the humidifier, buying meals and groceries, cooking small things, giving me a back rub :)

Oh, have I mentioned my new boobs? One day when I stepped out of the shower, I saw myself in the mirror and was wowed! I called Sito in for an, um, inspection, haha! But sorry, can see, cannot touch!!

Tuesday, 20 Dec 2011 - 10w4d

Morning sickness is officially over! Yeah! I've been feeling kind of good since the weekend, and I started cooking on Sunday! On Monday, I even went out for tea with C! Quite happy about it :) Strangely enough, my cravings for Sg food are also going away with morning sickness..

Thursday, 29 Dec 2011 - 11w6d

Such a happy day!

We had our first trimester screening done. When the sonographer put the thing on my belly with oh-so-lovely warm gel, we were so surprised - me cos we saw the baby immediately and Sito cos he thought the baby looked big! And best of all, baby was moving its limbs furiously! So cute! :)

We had a good time ogling the baby from different angles as the sonographer tried to capture various shots of our active baby. She said baby would be awake for 15-20 min and sleep and another 15-20 min and repeat the whole thing again. So fun!

We had a little chat with a genetic counsellor after that but we had no further questions since the scan gave normal readings. I was then sent for a blood test - just a little prick on my middle finger and the nurse doing it was so funny and nice. Ah, lovely afternoon.

Now I have three pictures of the scan on the desk as I type, and more in the CD from the sonographer. Show you one with baby's alien face and moving arms :)

Wednesday, 4 Jan 2012 - 12w5d

So I thought morning sickness was over. It wasn't. I puked in the 12th week on our way to Chinatown for dim sum. I puked this Monday and Tuesday before bed. I'm now feeling kind of good so far. So I hope and hope that's it! Please........

Sunday, 8 Jan 2012 - 13w2d

Yeah, I turn 32! :) And with no more craving for Singaporean food, we headed out for pasta :)

I've been having lots of soy bean milk, averaging one Yeo's packet every day or so. I ration each packet carefully so that I have something to sip on every few hours and I don't overdo the sugar... Just now, I had some water and it didn't feel too good in me. Guess I'll stick to other beverages for a while longer..

And the past couple of nights have been kind of kind. Less difficulty sleeping, but I still have trouble staying asleep cos of my blocked nose.. Hope I get to get some good sleep soon!

After the first visit to the hospital, we're having our regular prenatal care at a clinic nearby. Been there once so far. Every time I go, I'm probably seeing a different resident. Yes, resident, like if you go to KK as a subsidised patient. And I'm not comfortable at all, especially after she did a really rough PAP smear and pelvic check! I've never had such a painful experience down there and I spotted for five days after that! It's all free due to my state insurance for unemployed pregnant women but thanks, we'll pay my nice doc in Singapore to deliver our baby! So what's left to do now is to get the OK to fly - wish me luck! :)

* From a baby forum:

A rainbow baby is a baby conceived after the loss of a child. "Rainbow Babies" are the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it does not mean that the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and the clouds. Storm clouds may still loom over but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of colour, energy, and much needed hope.
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