Monday, 27 June 2005


The morning meeting has dispersed all Monday blues - seems more black to me now! Have to finish two items asap, esp if I still intend to go for aerobics this evening. And the slides for my presentation tomorrow have yet to be finalised. Argh!

Photos of yesterday's highly inspirational ballroom competition will have to wait so be patient, my comrades :)

Ok, last mouthful of my pathetic mee rubus plus curry puff lunch - no rice today =(

Sunday, 26 June 2005

Rosy cheeks

Was tanning at the pool yesterday when the skies became horribly overcast - never had I seen such a huge patch of black clouds and so near, quite scary. But I staunchly refused to get my ass up.

"We've only been here a while! The clouds will move on.."

"You're a sun worshipper, not cloud worshipper. And the clouds are moving faster than you run!"


Then Kel just grabbed my stuff and moved to the shelter. Soon after, it poured - cat 1 somemore. Ok, I lost!

We sat there watching kids being tested (before it turned cat 1) - one lap in 3 min (Na said that's silver test) - and I had a sudden inspiration to learn swimming again. My current swimming moves me like maybe 10m in 5min?? And I'm sure the techniques are wrong plus I don't know how to tread water. That coach I had some months ago had long since disappeared, bah! Need another one, a more trustworthy one.

The skies cleared after a while and everyone went back into the pool, including yours truly, just to try swimming a bit. But it proved to be tough in my teeny weeny itsy bitsy yellow polka dot bikini. Ya right, black la.. Had to stop every few strokes to adjust the thing. But I was surprised to see myself covering almost half the length at one go - very happy, thanks Kel for encouraging me :)

The sun woke up soon after but it was quite late and I was hungry... Thought I'd bake for just another 10min under the mild sun so I didn't bother with the lotion and face towel but guess what? I fell asleep for some 20min!! My cheeks felt damn hot - I went out in the evening without blusher :p

Went for a salsa styling workshop, realised I looked like shit with the body roll =( Must practise!! Went to Union for this week's cardio after dinner with Na at Maxwell - finally passed her the Japan trip photos, Miki's presents and a piece of VS! She's back to regular work on Mon, so are Hup and Sito - ganbare, senseis :)

Thursday, 23 June 2005


Suddenly realised that I didn't identify myself in the ancient photo.. I'm the flamingo :)

And Tian, I think you were already upstairs doing baby things, like sleeping or eating or soiling yourself :p Yes, times in the shop were great man..

Oh and I seem to recall that MZ (the youngest in pict) cried after the camera flashed cos she was scared of taking photos. I - you may have guessed - was never camera-shy!

Tuesday, 21 June 2005

When we were kids

Passed by the playground downstairs on the way to Grams' on Sunday. The cushioned floor was torn in various places, the bright blue/yellow/red handles and slides were no longer as bright as they used to be, but the kids didn't seem to mind that; some fifteen boys and girls were screaming and climbing everywhere with only a couple of adults watching. I bet they had either forgotten or never seen the playground brand new.

(Un?)Fortunately, I remember.

My earliest memory of the playground started from some eight years ago, when I was 17, Ying was ten, Ni was nine, Wei was a baby at five-six. We would always go to the playground in the afternoon or after dinner. Yes, 17 year old mf at the playground with my little cousins. Of course I could hardly squeeze into the little slide rides or what by then, even if I was shameless enough to do so! But it was so fun just being with them. Remember we took a picture there when Ling, Tian, Yan and I came back after lunch and found the three kids hanging on the handles like monkeys :)

Before the playground, Aunt used to bring us to the adjoining campus of Westlake and Braddell pri/sec schools after dinner; it was open even on Sunday to public. We often saw people playing football, jogging, strolling. The kids were barely more than toddlers then; in fact, Wei wasn't even in the picture yet!

And even earlier, when Ling was in her teens and the rest of us (if we were born by then!) were kids, we played catching up and down the block, hiding in lifts and behind flower pots - we were small enough for that :) And the spider and ant game in front of the letter boxes. At that time, the provision shop was still around. We would play in the balcony above, run around the shop, snack on biscuits, eat bubblegum, play hide-and-seek in the dark storeroom, push someone around on the trolley..

Cousins in front of shop

Then suddenly we were all grown up! And people are getting married!

Now the kids - ok, Ying is already 18, Ni 17, Wei 13-14 - stayed indoors most of the time instead of going downstairs to play. So different!

Sometimes I get a shock when I do my maths and realise the three of them were not as young as I think. To me, they are still babies lor. I guess that's the case when you watch them grow up. Translate this to parents, I can suddenly understand why children, no matter how old, even if the children become parents themselves, their parents will still see them as kids. Think it's kind of sweet but also think that parents have to learn to let these kids live their lives too. I realise the next time I bring them out, I don't need to hold their hands in case they stray anymore - they're old enough. But they'll always be my cute little cousins :)

Sunday, 19 June 2005

Those online things

Chanced about this website, Open-Mind. Felt like putting up a web band to support their cause. But I thought, does it apply to me? Or rather, do I really buy into it? I mean, I'll like to think I am open-minded, but am I? I'll like to be and think I'm striving towards that; shouldn't be too difficult as I don't have strong opinions about almost everything.. (?) Still, after some consideration, I feel I won't be doing it justice if I anyhow put it up without being sure that I truly subscribe to the idea. So no band for now.

Which brings another thought into my head: when you support something, do you have to do it? Eg, for this case, I support their case that people should be open-minded, people should embrace diversity but personally, can mf achieve that? I want to but can I?

The most common forms of prejudice/ discrimination rise along ethnic or nationality faultlines. Like I know of people who are hung up with minority races, PRC Chinese, Bangladeshi workers etc for not much reason at all and as I see it, most of the time, it's a case of (over?) generalisation. Ya I laughed at racist jokes but like Siok said, jokes what, don't have to take it too seriously. I'm not too bothered by what or who people are but by their behaviour; so long as they're not dodgy, it's fine. Like, I remember SY saying that when she had to go to building sites in her previous job, it wasn't the Bangladeshi workers but the Chinese who stripped her with their eyes lor!

Anyway, I'm actually here on the Myer Briggs personality test..

Did two which gave me different results. I'm a ISTJ by bloginality but I became a ESFJ with Personality Test Center. Re-did at Humanmetrics, still ESFJ plus following details:
- slightly expressed extrovert
- very expressed sensing personality
- moderately expressed feeling personality
- moderately expressed judging personality

ISTJ (Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging)

The "ya!", the "huh?" and the "?":
- They have a keen sense of right and wrong (mf: o_O)
- Punctuality is a watchword of the ISTJ. (mf: mostly la)
- As do other Introverted Thinkers, ISTJs often give the initial impression of being aloof and perhaps somewhat cold. (mf: thought so; was also mentioned to me before) Effusive expression of emotional warmth is not something that ISTJs do without considerable energy loss. (mf: like I don't easily tell friends I miss them?)
- ISTJs are easily frustrated by the inconsistencies of others, especially when the second parties don't keep their commitments. (mf: yes!) But they usually keep their feelings to themselves unless they are asked. And when asked, they don't mince words. (mf: still got a bit of tact la..)
- Since Fi is turned inward, it is rarely expressed. Only in times of great distress is the Introverted Feeling expressed. Otherwise, feeling is inferred, or expressed nonverbally, through eye contact, or an encouraging smile. (mf: I'm bad with words)
- The grim determination of the ISTJ vindicates itself in officiation of sports events, judiciary functions, or an other situation which requires making tough calls and sticking to them. (mf: I almost choked on saliva)

ESFJ (Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging)

The "ya!", the "huh?" and the "?":
- Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations, ESFJs are generous entertainers. (mf: me? Entertain??)
- All else being equal, ESFJs enjoy being in charge. They see problems clearly (mf: I never knew!) and delegate easily, work hard and play with zest.
- ESFJs are easily wounded. And when wounded, their emotions will not be contained. They by nature "wear their hearts on their sleeves," often exuding warmth and bonhomie (mf: ?), but not infrequently boiling over with the vexation of their souls.
- Strong, contradictory forces consume the ESFJ. Their sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing, 'mothering' drive. (mf: contradictory forces, interesting; but rescue drive?)
- The inferior Ti function may rarely be expressed. In fact, ESFJs may take affront at the aloof, detached nature of dominant Ti types, or conversely, be drawn to them.

The light side: one moment I shared something in common with George Washington (ISTJ) and then, it was Bill Clinton (ESFJ)! But I'm glad to find Eeyore an ISTJ as well :p

As to which I feel is more accurate, well, think I'm definitely SJ, just not sure if I'm really E, and undecided on T or F. So what is your observation of mf?

Saturday, 18 June 2005

How did Cinderella die?

Kel shared with us the real story: apparently, Cinderella could not go to the ball cos her period arrived at the most inconvenient moment. You know, it was back in those days, so Fairy Godmother used her magic to transform a pumpkin into the tampon we know today. Cinderella didn't make it back before midnight..


I was late for lunch but well, Hup wasn't on time either. CW and XY were to join us late anyway but Sito was the best. He thought it was 120pm instead of noon cos in my sms to him, one line ended with 120 and the second zero was on the next line. Gee, why would I choose such an awkward time?! CW suggested we should next meet at 137pm :p Then Sito bit back: but it's mf! Grrr...

Walked to OG to check out cheap dancing shoes - $32!! But my feet too big, sob! Then we met XY for only a while before I had to leave to meet Kel, SY and HL. Very nice, they waited with me at the Heeren bus stop :) Oh, on the way there, there were some guys dressed up in masks and afro hair etc, walking around with some promotion placards. I went up to the afro guy and touched the wig! Think I shocked him :p

Not sure why but mf was a bit crazy today. All this random stuff.. Afro guy; flashed my tanlines at Sito who said no man would want me (hmph, it's the whole package or nothing!); did a Mr Bean thing of pretending to lose control of a vacuum cleaner in Courts; SY and I sang, of all things, the SG Pledge on the Suntec bridge.. Just feel very happy today :) Tummy was also happy cos it stayed flat until dinner..!

It was also bump-into-people day: two girls from school, Mrs Yeo, two friends, a colleague. Very pleasant surprise to see Mrs Yeo with her daughter at Mango. Am planning a trip back to NJ to visit her when YX, MS and YS comes back in July. Sito, you will help me check Mrs Yeo's time table, won't you? :)

Oooh, YX is online! Lucky guy, in Osaka now, bunking in at WX's place.. When will I go to Japan again? Sighs..

"Enduring Love"

We had a lunch time screening yesterday, Enduring Love. A man died in a rescue attempt by a group of strangers. When they found the body, Joe and Jed exchanged a glance that somehow made Jed fall in love with Joe. His subsequent stalking threatened to destroy Joe's life. Eventually, Jed knifed the gf and while she was bleeding on the floor, Joe had to put on an agonising act of accepting him and knifed him back while they were kissing (gross - Jed looked like he never bathed!). Neither died but the couple didn't seem to get back together. Ending was creepy: Jed was in a asylum and he turned to the camera and smiled *shudders*

The running theme was love, starting with Joe and gf (he was about to propose but never got the chance); the grandfather's love for his grandson in danger; the kind man's compassion for the boy which eventually killed him; Jed's obssession for Joe; Joe lecturing on love in his philo class (he seemed to take different stands before and after the stalking started); the (lack of?) love of the dead man's wife; lost love (I like this - Joe's gf was unable to sculpt his face cos she felt she was too close to him to examine him objectively but the stalking incidents drove them apart and she eventually sculpted his face and ended their relationship); hidden love between a teacher and his student, two hitch-hikers with the dead man who run away when they saw the mishap happen; recovered love when the dead man's wife realised he didn't cheat on her (she forgave the student who left her scarf in the dead man's car but she asked, who would forgive her?)

Despite being disturbed by it, I found it a rather poignant film. The glance meant nothing to Joe, in fact it was somewhat demeaning to him, but it spelt the world to Jed: "God's love passed between us"! As Jed sat in the park outside Joe's house, he interpreted Joe's opening and closing of the window to be a signal that Joe loved him! The whole thing reminded me of a song: ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life..

Ok, enough of the heavy bits.. I should stop thinking about it, put it to rest..

We had a wonderful time at the tim sum place at Tanjong Pagar where SZ brought me and Na the other day cos it was Jason's last day with us - he's going to become a teacher! Adjourned for drinks right across the street. Had the impression it was a moderate gay pub. Oh and it was smokeless, quite cool, saved my hair :p

Think we indeed are a crazy bunch of people, went from our usual sexed up conversations to guys' urinal and the toilet habits of colleagues! Of course there were other stuff too, like, did you think MJ was innocent? And the difference between feminine and effeminate behaviour etc. Hmmm, my writing doesn't seem to do our conversation justice leh, ok stop!

Left them earlier (again!) cos Hup informed he was at Union. He said Na was there but she was gone by the time I reached there. But I couldn't really dance la, just went for a drink; wrong shoes and a skirt that flew way too high. Was ok dancing a bit with Hup, doing only basic, right turn, CBl, enchufla and such variations :p but gaaar Ker tried to do CBLT! Excuse me but I've got no legs to show should my skirt flew all the way lor! :p

Ok, have to rush for a lunch appointment!

Tuesday, 14 June 2005

It's your fave, not mine!

Read this story of an old couple seeking a divorce cos they had been quarelling all these years but held on only for the sake of their children who had, by now, all grown up. Somehow the lawyer suggested dinner together.. At the very awkward dinner among the lawyer and his divorced clients, the old man picked up a drumstick for his ex-wife.

Old man: Here, you like this..
Lawyer: *Very sweet*
Old woman: *Pissed* All these years and you don't even know I hate drumsticks!
Old man: I've always tried to save the best for you cos drumsticks are my favorite!

The lawyer suddenly understood that their marriage breakdown was due to mis-communication/ lack of communication. Story went on that old man was regretting the divorce, called old woman who stubbornly refused to pick up the phone. She broke down later when she learnt that he then died (of heart disease or something), hand still holding on to the receiver. So they actually loved each other very much and blah blah but the main take-away, is the importance of communication.

Had sort of an argument with friend the other day.
General: I think there was some communication breakdown.
Zooming in: maybe we have always had communication problem..
Self reflection: perhaps I'm always the one who has problem understanding people and making myself understood, especially when I'm the kind who can often say things without thinking (of implications).

I just made a resolution that I shall no longer be the clown when I sense tension, eg I won't blabber non-stop like I tend to when companions are so obviously not in the mf mood. At first I thought I could simply mirror the current mood, ie clam up and/or give shit face and the like. Then I realised that was crazy, why should I let myself be affected like that?! If you aren't doing anything about it, and my clowning isn't helping, I should really just mind my own business, look out for cute guys walking by, repeat song of the day 10,000 times in my head etc. Monologuing is NOT part of "etc". In future, pls, if you are pissed, let me know and/or better, stay away unless you think my presence can actually lighten you up. Don't give me a shit/expressionless face and expect me to think it's normal. It's so not. If the old man doesn't call, the old woman cannot choose to pick up the call at all.

Alternatively, I can risk bumping nose on glass by questioning the cause for the mood myself instead.. Ok, shall resolve to be more daring to speak up too! Watched Mr and Mrs Smith last night, not speaking up doesn't constitute lying but is nonetheless a crime. Oh, but I must remember to utilise whatever grey matter I have before I open my big mouth..

A friend said I'm not the "threatening kind". I have this feeling that most people think mf is quite mild. True, I avoid confrontation - just don't step on me. I actually find a lot of anger in me, some sort of remnant from whatever. Pls don't give me cause to feel that kind of anger or unhappiness once more.

Btw, I'm not unhappy now, just hungry..

Monday, 13 June 2005

mf seems to be falling ill

Wet nose. Dry and itchy throat. The sounds of my usual little coughs are different and no longer usual. And I look horrible.

I don't want to fall ill! No time to fall ill too!


Cannot cannot, must counter the bug by being upbeat and cheery! *Smile*

Sunday, 12 June 2005

Nothing special but itchy fingers.. *scratch scratch*

Woke damn early on a Sunday cos was supposed to go jogging. But the clouds were gathering.. Ended up chatting with Insp Susan over breakfast at Macs; think we haven't met since she started work in Mar! Then SZ, Na and I went for a cozy tim sum lunch. Place was really nice, we spent a long time in there just chatting. Can't really remember but that should be the first time three of us had such a great time together :)

After ballroom, Sito was telling me of this
SPG blog that the girls were mentioning earlier as well. Just checked it out, um, prefer the pink of Xiaxue.. Oops, ya I read that sporadically; somehow some people can't believe that, heh!

But I wasn't too happy on the way back; my area has some sleazy people! On my way out this morning, this uncle was walking in my direction and freaking whistling at me. I ignored as usual and walked on. Then just now worse, heard someone behind me saying hi and hello etc. Then I saw this uncle cycling past me, with his hi's and hellos and an irritating smile across his sick face. Gross! Couldn't stand it and I went TA-MA-DE! but he was still hi-ing away and looking back! mf was pissed! Showed him the finger *.*

Felt better after stuffing myself with three dumplings, yes, three - those who like (Mother's) dumplings, be jealous :) Then a lychee jelly. A bottle of Yakult. Two slices of apple.. Man, I DO eat a lot, don't I? Nvm, I shall go for gym class tomorrow to atone for my sins..

Oh oh, Mother just showed me this book: My Son, The NS Man - What Parent Should Know About NS!!! Gee, I never knew such a handbook existed! Go and translate for her later..

Saturday, 11 June 2005

Happy Bah Zang Day!

Bah zang la, the glutinous rice dumpling with meat? Ahhh..

But of course it's not Bah Zang Day. It's - almost wrote 中元节 - it's 端午节. Now do you know the origin of this day? Good boy/girl if you do, else pls dig out that pri/sec school Chinese textbook!

I spent three brainless hours standing in front of the washing machine, layering two bah zang leaves (ok I don't know what leaves they are) and folding them into a cone before dumping in some glutinous rice followed by a generous* portion of meat-mushroom-etc mix to be topped up by some rice again. Then I flipped, tucked and folded the thing into the familiar shape you see in the markets before tying them with rafia string.

* Later Mother said I used too much meat and she didn't want any leftover rice. To avoid her nagging over my shoulder - erm, she's not that tall - more like at my arm, I replaced some meat with rice. Ended up, she had to go out buy more rice, duh! But less meat, still yummy!

Some teething problems though. Mother forgot to add sugar to the meat and she said nvm! I was pissed; I would only eat yummy bah zang =( Told her I wouldn't eat it or give to my friends if they turned out to be crap. Finally she relented, heh heh.. And a bit unsteady at first as I do this only once a year. After the first three, the rest began to look much nicer. But still no QC for size, some big some small, like breasts.. Oops, what am I thinking.. Cranky morning.. Anyway, we ended up with some 100 bah zang!! At least half had been given away and the rest should be gone by tomorrow. If they even survive today..

Had an idea to take pictures but no one else around besides Mother. Made use of the 15min rest when she was adding sugar to take some :)

Look at the meat!

Stove with brand new super pot!

Check out the long charcoal sticks - I've never seen these before..

A whole box of them!

Found some dry leaves and string lying around

I wrapped bah zang at the washing machine and turned around to tie with string hanging from the ceiling.

Last batch queuing to jump into super pot (final destination = mf's tummy)

ジャンジャン! *Drool*

Brought two bundles to office yesterday. We had a rice dumpling appreciation thing at lunch happily org by Siok :) That's Alvin's first attack, and Dor and Irene.

Off to have one for breakfast :)

Thursday, 9 June 2005

Narcissistic Thurs

That day, G mentioned this girl dancing on a podium in some club, on her own, showing off her fab figure. Almost perfect except for her face - jia lat! Hmmm, I said, god is fair.

Like, mf is quite pretty right? Face la.. Then it goes downhill from the neck :p But overall, I'm satisfied.. It's what's inside that I'm not too happy with: I have grass between my ears, and some say tulips too. Well, like I said, god is fair! :)

Been having good hair days since I stopped sleeping on wet hair. Good hair day also means I feel at least 10% prettier, though grabby clothes can counter pretty index by -50% *.* Anyway, you must have had enough of mf saying mf is pretty or cute etc.. So let me give you third person accounts..

1: We were looking at Japan pictures together

Cheryl: Hmmm, you're quite photogenic..
mf: Really?! *Starts gushing..*
Cheryl: ...

2: Email exchange

mf: .. Unfair! I never had any shuai ge teachers =( But I was so tu any cutie also wouldn't notice =(( Then my school didn't have any cutie to begin with, bah!
SW: ..nothing's fair in this world... (mf: agree! :p) Ok, i admit i do make friendly jokes of those geeks during my sch days.. but deep down inside i know they are introvert by nature and have problem getting along with the "bad" people like me! .. But i do notice some geeks are very beautiful just that they dun wan/dun know how to bring it out...and most of them are very helpful when u ask them bout school work...BUt alot of them turn into Ultra Chio Bu (mf) (mf: I didn't write that "mf") that i hardly recognise them on the streets until they call me..

Finished puking yet? Have a good day :)

Wednesday, 8 June 2005

Thanks but no

Almost died of suffocation on the bus today. I was happily reading my JLPT 4 TYS (just finished it!) when my nose was assaulted by a strong terrible smell.. Gaar, it was stale smoke from a man with two kids who just sat down two rows in front!

Suddenly remember that I was first offered a stick of pot on a felucca in Egypt before a cigarette during Dol's birthday cele in her room :p The most recent cigarette offer should be my birthday cele this year but I didn't take - not interested, not even tempted by the novelty. Hell, it isn't even a novelty cos I grew up with a smoker in the house, hence stale smoke lingered everywhere. Hated it. Then I developed a horrible nose allergy problem, currently suppressed by drugs. I should be about 12, and I made him go out of the house to smoke, heh!

Anyway.. So, I do have friends who smoke and I don't mind so long as they don't breathe into my face. But goodness, this bus guy wasn't even smoking and he smelled like he just walked out of smoke dung. With his pre-school kids. And 2m away! Darn the bus's ventilation!

Tired, shall end with a word of advice: when you have kids, pls don't smoke in front of them.

*Yawn yawn*

Tuesday, 7 June 2005

I'm amused

Apparently my previous entry generated a number of question marks.. Friends are wondering if they are in the 7, 13 or 116.. Hey, ever considered being in the 211? :p


Busy days ahead! With work and a multitude of engagements - this is the nth time I'm typing this word today *.* Just this morning I realised I double-booked myself this Sun, had to postpone the one easier to organise, so paiseh!

But tonight is mine and mine alone :) Think I shall go back to draw something.. Oh, remember that fish I dreamt about? Forget it, I couldn't put grey matter onto paper!!

Saturday, 4 June 2005

Another number game

Was bored just before bedtime the other day so..

Number of unique contacts in HP: 211

Isn't that disgusting? I mean, I don't get even two calls every day! And even if I do, they are likely to be from the same two or three persons =( As for sms, I do get more than two, invariably verbal abuses or gossips from certain you-know-whos.

So, where are the other 200?!

I would not have useless contacts taking up phone memory - had enough of "memory almost full" messages. So I deleted those who have never called and who never will, and whom I've never called and never will. But I kept a couple of useless numbers, like Beauty Forever so that I'll know when they call and I'll never answer wahahaha!

Second count: 156

Still a lot..

Third count: 116 personal contacts + 17 karaoke, salon etc

That's after I tighten up censorship but I may still have trouble if you ask me to name half of the 116.. And grand total of calls today: zilch.

Before you question, I do make calls ok, despite having only 100 free outgoing minutes (and free incoming!) but I usually call the same few who call me and whom I sms with.. Suddenly realise my social circle is actually quite tiny..

Not my habit to call people "just for a chat" la, unless there's something in particular I want to talk about or ask, very typical 无事不登三宝殿! Like, CY and I have been friends for what, 15 years?! But the longest we've spent on the phone was only 30min, I think..

On a related note, I'm going to count my friends. Close friends. Then I realise I have to define "close" properly. Have a few groups of friends whom I meet up often enough. Do you call them close? All of them in the groups? I decide I have to be more discriminate.

Finally, I shortlisted to only thirteen. Ok, say I be even more discriminate - seven is the least I can go after six agonising eliminations.. Interestingly, the M:F gender ratio changes from 7:6 to 5:2..

Hey I don't mean I treasure only these people and not other friends ok.. Just that they are the ones I'll turn to when I'm in trouble (heh, now you pray you're not one of the seven/thirteen :p) and when I want to share my laughter, and who, I believe, will also think of me when they need a trusted friend to confide in.

Seems very bad to categorise friends like this.. But question: don't you sometimes feel you'd rather be sleeping or working or somewhere but there when you're with certain people? The thirteen are the people I meet more or less regularly, whom I can easily converse with, and who have priority to my evenings and weekends; the rest, paiseh, pls take a queue number and I'll entertain if I feel like it/ up to it! Ok, not that bad la :p

That said, I do spare time for other friends, especially those I haven't seen in a long time.. Like dinner last Fri, arranged rather late so glad I was able to make it as original dinner was postponed; or dinner this Sat, planned long ago in late Apr or early May. But otherwise, I need to prioritise so that I can spare some time for myself alone too.

Think I've slacked enough, I'm off to pursue my non-prose interest: drawing. Dreamt of an interesting fish early this morning so I shall attempt to draw it :p

I can't get over this

Homer is driving and crashes into a statue of a deer.

Homer: D'oh!
Lisa: A deer!
Marge: A female deer.

Don't you love them? :)

I remember how I used to rush back to catch it at 6pm, followed by the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air right after. And I would dash in and out of the room to check on my pasta. But that was only for a while. Either BBC ended the run or I became busier with work.. Think it's the former, cos I was still watching MVP Valentine, and reading HLM - Hong Lou Meng aka Dream of the Red Chamber :p

That should be early 4th year. Trinity term was horrible in terms of work. I would spend the whole day in the library, staying up to 10pm and once, 1am, then walk 30min back to my apartment. There was no Sunday. Late summer was just as bad, what with rushing my dissertation and discovering to my horror one week before the deadline that a lot more needed to be done. It's amazing to recall that I didn't freak out much back then.. Think I practically re-ran 100% of my analyses and wrote 60% of my dissertation that crazy week. Then you had to queue to use the only laser printer in the lab, and queue somemore at the binding shop cos the world was finishing at the same time! But it was fun, we printed, bound and submitted our dissertations together, before a wonderfully relaxing breakfast at Queen's Lane Coffee House :)

Sigh, if only I had a blog back then! I would record all the big and tiny happenings in Oxford, things which are slowly being zipped up in the deep recesses of my mind with time. Because I'm scared I'll forget them. I fear that one day, there may be no quotes, no sudden whiff of a familiar scent or any other catalyst to release them, to bring back the wonderful memories.

But recently, YY said that perhaps I should not keep looking backwards, should look forward instead. True, I can't keep living in my past, must not neglect what's in front of me! Just that it's so nice to reminisce about Oxford :) Ok ok, forward looking!

And I have digressed.. Back to things I can't get over.. The following snippets from my ever happening office, names will be obscured to protect their identities :p

M1: Ok, enough, I know I'm eye candy but you better go back to your work. Now.
F1: .. *Not going back to work*
M1: Fine, I'll pose here for 5min for you to admire then you must go back to work! *Pose*
F2, mf: *Laugh laugh laugh*
F1: .. ED.. (mf: forgot what she said)
F2: What is ED?
M1: Economy drive..
F1: You don't know about Jason's ED? *Whispers* Erectile dysfunction..
F2: ..
F1: Other people's cannot go up but his cannot go down!!
F2: !!!
F1: *Spotted M2 doing his work, unaffected* Psst, M2, psst..
M2: *Turns around*
F1: You have ED? Erectile dysfunction??!
M2: o_O
F1: Yours cannot come up or cannot go down?
M2: *Goes back to work*
F1: It's ok, you can tell me later, in private..

On another occasion..

Ah Beng: Kopi! .. Eh Tall One back from holidays ah? Happy not?
Tall One: No la, you didn't write letters to me..(!)
Ah Beng: Letters?! I'll only write to mf! Heh heh..
mf: Wa liao.. *Err, no I don't want you to write me letters*

Then Yan's Sec 3 students in her tuition class..

A: You know condoms are oily oily one..
B: Huh? How you know one?
A: Ya, for SP.
B, C: ??
A: Self pleasure..

All in front of the teacher! Then I wonder why he used a condom for himself, got Tiger Balm on his hands ah?! :p And on that:

mf: You'll go blind if you masturbate too much, heard from somewhere.. *.*
D: From now, I'll look at blind people in a different light..!

Btw, Yan is going for MOE interview on Wed, wish her all the best :)

mf in her mood

Yet another lazy Sat morning. Peaceful. An old song by Faye Wong is in the air. YQ is sleeping, MZ is working, and Mother has gone out. I feel.. free, just me and no one else around to say things I don't like to hear or bother me. And I can stay expressionless when there's no one around, rest my smile/frown muscles. Like this feeling.

Just finished watching an episode of Long Vacation. Second disk. I know I always get mixed feelings watching this show, like in that weird no man's land between happy and sad - do you call that blue? But I can't resist it. It gives me some, well, sick form of heady high.

Perhaps I'm just eccentric - first time I describe myself as such. I mean, I do say I'm weird but eccentric, the word seems to portray a deeper sense of.. weirdness, of being different.

Yes I like to think I'm different but I guess most probably I'm just about the same as everyone else?

Um, I don't know what I'm talking about anymore :p Should get back to what I want to write about in the first place!

Friend wrote that her physical conditions were very bad despite a sensible diet and wondered what was wrong with her life. I couldn't repress my airy fairy self in my comments. I gave her a little theory of mine, that I believe physical wellbeing stems from mental wellbeing.. I think she tends to become unhappy or pissed off easily. Sure, blog it off your mind but the most important thing is to get it off your mental/ emotional system.

At least it worked for me. Went through a very long and rough bad patch. When I was nine, I felt that things were hopeless and everything was gloomy and dark. Wasn't a very happy child. Then along the growing- up way, I realised that there are things which are beyond my control. Instead of trying to turn things around and be unhappy, I focused on those I can control and by the time I was 17, my personality has been shaped to close to what you see now - which is positive I hope! Think that keeping myself light and bright helped me bounce back from the turmoils of 1998-9.

Suddenly remember something from the episode of Long Vacation from just now, quite apt.. I feel that I want to want the remaining of this entry in my broken Japanese..


Thursday, 2 June 2005

What's wrong with lacy socks?

Al: Why do they pick on your socks, very nice what..
mf: Ya lor..
Sito: Looks like panties..
D: I didn't say that, I didn't say that.. *walk away*
mf: o_O

Nonetheless, I love to wear my lacy foot socks or whatever you call them with my new flesh satin dancing shoes :) But I need to break into them, a painful process..

Had supper with them - I had soursop, not fried kway tiao - and as we were walking to D's car, I heard my sms ringtone. Out of reflex I touched on my bag to check that it was indeed my sms - vibration mode was on.

Tune died on my touch =(

I was horrified; I thought HP died! Remember I washed it last week? The ringing has been crap since then, need to trade it in for $100 before it's too late :p

When I hurriedly dug it out to check, I saw that somehow I was sending a message - keypad must have been unlocked somehow and my gentle touch stopped the ringtone. Phew, HP didn't die.. So I read my new message:

Ad: ok, thanks.

Huh? I thought he sent wrongly.. But no, I was the one who sent wrongly!! I found that I sent him two messages accidentally! Hazards of being the first (or last) name of everyone's phonebook..

"O cool! Ok then next thurs or fri let you know :)"

Paiseh ah.. He said he couldn't resist not to reply when my message sounded so enthusiastic etc.. Think this round, mf lost in terms of randomness.. Grrrr..

Wednesday, 1 June 2005


I realise there is too little time to do the too many things I want to do. Besides singing and travelling, I have ballroom and salsa, pretty regular activities. So is Jap I guess, almost finishing the mock exams for JLPT level 4. Reading for revision only - my level higher than that la, should be able to move to level 3 soon before studying hard for level 2. I'll aim for next Dec! *Fingers crossed*

That doesn't leave me with much time to pursue other interests though they may prove to be short-lived anyway. Like, I had once thought of studying Greek mythology, and perhaps putting the major characters with complicated relationships into a short compilation, the way I drew a family tree of the Dream of the Red Chamber characters - where is it now anyway?? But I didn't even get started and it was swiftly forgotten. Then, I've always wanted to learn the piano but time and money are things I cannot afford. Told IS maybe I'll learn with my kids next time, heh.. In the meantime, I'll just play my fave melodies on my super old organ.

The next one is, hopefully, more than a flicking interest. Remember that book I bought in Stanford book store? Michelangelo and the Pope's Ceiling? It reminded me of my very first trip when I was totally mesmerised in the Sistine Chapel. Suffered a neck strain from a prolonged period of staring skywards with KP who bought a book detailing the frescos. Almost six years on, I'm re-aquainted with these fabulous works. I even went to the extent of googling for relevant courses before realising that I don't freaking need a degree in art history to feed my interest! So I've decided to sniff out online resources after I finish the book - just a few more pages left..

Then the other day as I was filing my ballroom result slip, I saw two old sketch books from secondary school. I didn't draw anything in it but the first section of each was filled with newspaper cuttings of Van Gogh's Sunflowers, Xu Bei Hong's Horses etc. I remember I refused to throw them when Mother dug them out of the storeroom one day and even upgraded them to my cabinet of notes and files.

Mon, I finally stepped into Popular and grabbed a sketch book and a brown drawing pencil, the kind I used to use for outlining as a kid, no need to sharpen, just peel..? Nvm, brown pencil. So I drew the right side of my white/pink stilettos and named it "The Missing Left". Last night, I propped Meh on my knee and drew her lovely face and front legs. Think my portrait of Meh is nicer than that of shoe; you can't tell if the shoe is left or right :p

And there's pole dancing! Haven't signed up for classes yet but I hope to.. There may be more but enough for now. I need to prioritise all these activities.. Drawing and reading, I can do whenever I'm not going out. Ballroom and Jap should be my two top priorities. There, set! :)
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