Read this story of an old couple seeking a divorce cos they had been quarelling all these years but held on only for the sake of their children who had, by now, all grown up. Somehow the lawyer suggested dinner together.. At the very awkward dinner among the lawyer and his divorced clients, the old man picked up a drumstick for his ex-wife.
Old man: Here, you like this..
Lawyer: *Very sweet*
Old woman: *Pissed* All these years and you don't even know I hate drumsticks!
Old man: I've always tried to save the best for you cos drumsticks are my favorite!
The lawyer suddenly understood that their marriage breakdown was due to mis-communication/ lack of communication. Story went on that old man was regretting the divorce, called old woman who stubbornly refused to pick up the phone. She broke down later when she learnt that he then died (of heart disease or something), hand still holding on to the receiver. So they actually loved each other very much and blah blah but the main take-away, is the importance of communication.
Had sort of an argument with friend the other day.
General: I think there was some communication breakdown.
Zooming in: maybe we have always had communication problem..
Self reflection: perhaps I'm always the one who has problem understanding people and making myself understood, especially when I'm the kind who can often say things without thinking (of implications).
I just made a resolution that I shall no longer be the clown when I sense tension, eg I won't blabber non-stop like I tend to when companions are so obviously not in the mf mood. At first I thought I could simply mirror the current mood, ie clam up and/or give shit face and the like. Then I realised that was crazy, why should I let myself be affected like that?! If you aren't doing anything about it, and my clowning isn't helping, I should really just mind my own business, look out for cute guys walking by, repeat song of the day 10,000 times in my head etc. Monologuing is NOT part of "etc". In future, pls, if you are pissed, let me know and/or better, stay away unless you think my presence can actually lighten you up. Don't give me a shit/expressionless face and expect me to think it's normal. It's so not. If the old man doesn't call, the old woman cannot choose to pick up the call at all.
Alternatively, I can risk bumping nose on glass by questioning the cause for the mood myself instead.. Ok, shall resolve to be more daring to speak up too! Watched Mr and Mrs Smith last night, not speaking up doesn't constitute lying but is nonetheless a crime. Oh, but I must remember to utilise whatever grey matter I have before I open my big mouth..
A friend said I'm not the "threatening kind". I have this feeling that most people think mf is quite mild. True, I avoid confrontation - just don't step on me. I actually find a lot of anger in me, some sort of remnant from whatever. Pls don't give me cause to feel that kind of anger or unhappiness once more.
Btw, I'm not unhappy now, just hungry..