Wednesday, 30 November 2005

Update on damage control

First update: bought something for my T-zone - it's beginning to become problematic - at the Urban-Kanebo makeover contest thingy yesterday. Ex so it should work or I will get so pissed I'll.. what? Nothing, waste $$ only =(

Digression, made on purpose:

There are three photos but this is my fav - my face looks less swollen here :p Love that hair, and the eye makeup was simply lovely! Too bad it isn't clear here; the original is just passport size..

So, CTB and all, you now see me with short hair, albeit glam shot - I cheat, heh heh.. Usually it's messy; think long suits me better..

With nice makeup and glam hair, I just had to parade the length of Orchard Road from Taka to PS via the Paragon bathroom where I took 30 shots with my own cam :p PS was venue of second update: a scalp treatment, ah nice..

Two hours later, I was back to my fridge where the third update awaited: vege juice, TOTALLY vile! Steer clear unless, eg my case, you have to!

Tuesday, 29 November 2005

mf is back!

Yes I am! Landed last night with - from top to bottom - bad hair, one pimple scar, dry skin, the biggest tummy in two years, unshaven legs (which will remain unshaven cos I left my shaver in CY's suitcase but she had a mistaken suitcase problem..), very dry heels and prune-like toes..

Pretty gross hur? :p

BUT! With the exception of the unshaven legs, damage control is already in full swing: head massage when shampooing last night, good cleanser for my face, vit E oil for dry spots, I'm finishing one litre of juice as I type, foot scrub and massage earlier this morning. And I intend to resume jogging this week - I have to!

Despite all the post-trip troubles, I enjoyed myself very very much! And I'm sure my crazy travel companions CY and Kel agree too - we were crazy with shopping and food and crap talk :) I'll get to the trip proper in a while..

Saturday, 19 November 2005

mf the fifth

Submitted my 58-page paper at 5pm, done with Amore treatment by 7pm, finished packing by 9pm - oh yes I did! And it must be the fastest packing EVER! Then I cabbed down to a house party hosted by XY and friends. And, guess what, she announced her engagement! CONGRATS, XY!!! :)

XY is the first of us five - ahhh, a number, is my blog title getting obvious? :p Hup and I thought CW should be next, based on attitudes. Sito and Hup - well, debatable, but mf! mf has to be the last, for the following reasons:

1) People think she's attached: met a middle-aged colleague from neighbouring department in the toilet the other day and mentioned my Taiwan trip in our chit chat.

She (I actually don't know her name!): So nice, going with bf?
mf: No la, go with gf (no mention of pig cos he hadn't confirmed then), don't have bf!
She: Sure got bf!
mf: No leh, waiting for you to intro me! *standard retort*
She: Nah, so pretty, must have bf already!
mf: Aiyah, everyone thinks like that, no guy will ask me out one! :p
She: Well.. Not like that la.. (At this point, think she didn't know how to carry on, and sure enough..) Have la!

And she left the bathroom rather quickly!

2) People think she is too powerful with her credentials and hence feel either inferior or intimidated: two examples here..

a) Sito told me his students, who saw me when I helped out at a ballroom demo some time ago, thought I was pretty AND smart AND - omg - from Oxford! And they went sighs.. Hello, you young adults, check out my "no ugly people" entries and just do your best in what you like - don't compare and honestly, no use topping schools. Oxford has been great fun, yes, and trust me, a couple of As maybe, but you don't need STRAIGHT As to get in! Plus, care to know the ditzy mf?

b) Some time ago, friend tried to set me up with his friend, who thought I was intimidating. Obviously not my demeanour but my creds, again. The same day he told me his friend's comments about me - for the record, my comment about his frend was his nice smile, superficial yes but it was a superficial setting at New Asia Bar! -, this other guy told me my creds were one reason why he liked me.

c) Oops, three examples afterall.. This happened more than a year ago. SY and I were talking about guys and relationships etc. We both had the same feeling that guys could be intimidated by us cos of our looks (we ARE good-looking!), our performance in school etc.


I wonder, when will someone take away all presumptions and look at me proper, and see mf, instead of my stupid creds.. Sometimes I feel more stupid than my creds but that's another story for another day..

Anyway, I'm in the mood for.. blog, not love. In fact, at the moment I'm starting to feel quite pissed that people usually see me just as an Oxford grad, which is only part of mf! It's the wrong reason for feeling intimidated or liking me! And I refuse to hide this fact and pretend I'm from a local poly as someone (jokingly, I hope) suggested - and how could I deny four fabulous years of my life?

So below is a negative list ie guys I cannot accept or guys who are not my type. YX and Kel, pls, read line #1 again and again before you come to me dropping names. There has to be 9, for no reason other than it being my fav:

1) Cannot be too decent, too guai, cos I'm not. Read this in a magazine when I cut my hair, thought it's a nice description: 最有魅力的男人是已经学乖,但根本就有点坏的男人! :p
2) No slack listless unfocused eyes! Remember what I said in my first "no ugly people" entry? Unfocused looks (as in eyes-looks) are a big no-no!
3) Cannot be shorter than me UNLESS - yes, there's an exception - he exudes boundless confidence. Confidence, not ego balls! Actually this item is more about confidence - it's important!
4) Cannot be thinner than me - for obvious reasons (for the dense: I'm not body confident enough, esp around thin people)
5) This should be a positive item but I'll twist it so that it becomes: cannot be unable to swim! :p Sounds a bit strange and in fact, most guys can swim. But I almost drowned at 9 (pool) and 20 (beach), and I still cannot really swim so I'm going to be absolutely anal on this "rule". And I'm getting an instructor too - boss reminded me today when he said he was making his young son learn swimming! Make a mental note to respond to the next swim lesson ad I see..
6) Cannot be stupid - but Oxford degree is not nec too *.* I mean there has to be some kind of intellectual exchange right? Although, well, I actually listen more than I say :p
7) Cannot be in a different frequency - to elaborate, I need to connect spiritually. Nothing to do with religion, just a feeling - it's difficult to qualify feelings.. You just know if someone "feels alright".. You know?
8) Cannot be (too..?) possessive/controlling cos I'll suffocate and die. Cannot be nice to me all the time too; I may suffocate and die too.. Ya, that's strange of me.. Is it justifiable to say that I don't want to feel obliged to be nice in return?
9) Cannot give in to me all the time cos a relationship is a more or less equal partnership - I say more or less cos I still want doors opened for me at age 60, not least that I don't like door handles or I push when it reads pull :p Anyway, point is I need someone who can be firm with me, reasonably firm. Hmm, sounds like taming of mf? Haha! Shall go borrow that book some day..

Man, just realise this is long! Feeling better after listing these, but doubt I wish to re-read this in daylight :p Shall check in my flight online and go sleep..

Friday, 18 November 2005

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Pseudo Hermione here watched with two pseudo Harry Potters Kel and Na! Where was my Ron? :p

Anyway, I enjoyed it very much! Even though they thought it wasn't as good as the previous ones, even though the movie omitted a lot of stuff.. I just like the feeling the whole HP thing gives me, it's the experience of being brought across to this fascinating world of magic and imagination! Like Ron said, what's life without some dragons? :)

1) How Ron has grown! I think he could be quite good looking sans that horrible hair..
2) HP too, the round specs are making him look a bit silly cos his eyes are actually getting quite intense
3) Hermione has lost her baby fats and with them, a bit of the cuteness, sighs..
4) Cedric is WOW! Pity we won't be seeing him no more
5) Cho, well, she could be prettier
6) Ginny's character is building up - kiv
7) And I like Neville! He's so.. Neville? Heh!

Oh, there wasn't much laughter in the show right? Don't recall HP's toothy smile.. Now have to wait for the next movie - and of course the next book! Kel asked me what would happen after that? I won't have anything to look forward to?!

That's one reason for meow, conceived as I was reading the sixth book a few months back. Just wondering what my life would be like if I had special powers.. Stemming from the occasional feeling of being powerless in real life perhaps? Anyway, mf doodles on until ideas for her parallel life run dry!

PS: I'm off to Taipei tomorrow! But I have, outstanding, 30 more para of paper to vet through, a house party tonight, AND an empty suitcase. Bless me and my beauty sleep.. Updates when I come back..

Update 19 Nov 05 (very early in the morning..)

Oops, I was talking to Joyce earlier on and realised I missed out something: I can't get over Harry trying to smile at Cho but um, releasing juice instead! I think I like HP more than Ron in this one..

And, Na and I were crazy; danced with Chicken Little just before the show! But she did it better cos the girl memorised the whole damn thing!

Thursday, 17 November 2005

my extraordinarily ordinary world

Sunday, 13 November 2005


Nose has been in pretty bad shape these days - allergy acting up =( It's better in the house than in office. On Fri night on my bed, I realised it could be due to my keyboard cos I started to sneeze once I switched on work lappy and when I closed a lid an hour on, my sneezing miraculously stopped!

In a way, I'm allergic to work :p

SZ threw a bbq party yesterday. Thanks for the present :) We browsed through her wedding albums, very pretty! Felt tempted to go for photoshoot but minus the groom :p

And there was a lot of food! We left YX and Kel to cook while the ladies sat around, looking pretty. After an insane amount of food that rendered Na's mesotherapy wasted and my month of dancing undone, we hit the mahjong table, which was, in actual fact, a kid's drawing table, with matching stools that were obviously too small for our giant adult butts to be comfortable in..

Kok arrived pretty late and as he had his dinner, we cut up some cake for ourselves - it was just amazing how much we could stretch our stomachs.. But that's not all, no no.. We split outside the house and five of us - Kel, Kok, SY, YX and mf - went to somewhere near Beauty World for prata! I'm proud to say I gave prata a miss and was contented with my oolong..

Oh, and I never fail to be amazed by the sheer number of people not sleeping at 2am!

On the way back, we - Kel, SY and mf - were talking about cars when somehow MacRitchie, East Coast, Mt Faber came up.. Common point: couples' haunt! Then we were on the highway when we saw an exit to Lornie Road - hey that leads to MacRitchie! So we really detoured to MacRitchie to see if we could spot any, um, shaking cars :p

There were cars la, but empty. Must be too bright with all those lamps. How disappointed! :p

Wednesday, 9 November 2005

The thing about shit..

Sometimes, you don't know shit until it really happens.

Then, you realise you don't really know shit until it refuses to go away!

Where's the flush?

Saturday, 5 November 2005

There are no ugly people II

CF: There are no ugly women, only lazy ones

(Oh yes, cross ref - learn from Na :p)

1) Shapeless T-shirts are NOT for every single occasion. They may be good for hiding flab but they can make people look sloppy, especially guys. Unfair but yes. It's fitted T-shirt any day. And pls don't get me started on tucking in T-shirts..

2) Colours should be coordinated. Totally contrasting colours can only be carried off by the right kind of LOOKS AND PERSONALITY. And don't keep wearing skin tone - easy to match but too boring, not to mention they can make people look washed out.

3) Ladies, I think normal (ie non-frizzy!) leg hair is acceptable but do something about armpit hair!! Saw this pretty girl walk into the train - nice - then she grabbed the overhead handrail and I went "ewe!"

4) Shirts are always a good idea but fitted ones are for those with some shape to begin with. Huggable people are ok :) but for once, the skinny ones are disadvantaged cos it's hard to fill the shirt up nicely..

5) Hair needs to be maintained unless you have rebonded hair. Guys should quit going for $5 school boy haircuts and get a proper hairstyle.

6) Make-up makes a difference, especially on a bad day, eg morning after a late night. Essential for pale people.

7) First criteria for shoes: must look good to go with the rest of outfit! If they are sensible too, wow, it's a bonus :p

8) Don't clutter with too many accessories - max one eye-catching item. And guys can look good with the right accessories too..

9) Bags - a signature piece or simply something to go with outfit.

Finally, don't hunch; walk confidently and happily - we'll be a city of beautiful and happy people :)

This is a prep for mf to go shopping for nice stuff ^_^

Familiar strangers

There was this old blind man sitting right outside the Guardian of the small shopping mall in my town centre, with a stack of Singapore Sweep tickets on his lap.

My neutral just-passing-by mood fell away to this indescribable feeling of - a mixture of regret, sadness.. Melancholy? Does melancholy sum it?

I've seen him around since I was a kid. Can't remember very well but I think he used to peddle his stuff under a covered walkway between two blocks. I used to think, what if I grabbed his tickets and run? He couldn't catch me. Then because I wouldn't do that, I also thought, it would be sad if someone really stole his stuff..

It's been years since I last saw him - how he had aged! I don't know, just feeling a bit, weird, at seeing him again.

I might not have forgotten him even if I never saw him since childhood, just a distant memory at the back of my head, but this recent chance meeting seemed to have etched him on my mind forever. The lone man I saw as a child, the same man, older, I just saw as an adult. I wonder what his family is like, if he's having a hard life.. Why is the poor man still selling sweepstake tickets? Or perhaps I think too much, perhaps it's his way to pass time?

We all know such people, don't we? Familiar strangers, people you see often enough to recognise them or their routines but never really know.

The fat boy staying in my block - now a fat man - who is a bit strange, mentally. I just found him odd last time but now I think he's a bit menacing.. Then there is this auntie who works in the coffee shop since I was ten or so but she doesn't seem to have aged at all! And the sisters at my fav nasi lemak stall in the hawker centre who have grown fatter but are still as friendly. The uncle on a walking stick whom I pass by every morning on my way to the bus stop. And of cos the so many people at the bus stop - I see them every day that I know what bus each will take!

Related are friends of friends. I think I talk a lot, so some of my friends have heard me mention my other friends though they have never met or have met only once or twice. This is particularly true for KLK, Gandhi and CY. But perhaps this is a bit different la :p

This brings me to one of my fleeting thoughts from ages ago: how some people can become friends while some people just never have the chance to even meet. Does it all voice down to yuan fen?

I did one of those tests (again, yes) lately, google for "Tibetan personality test" and disregard all the crap about wish.. Despite knowing the randomness of such tests, I felt compelled to believe one particular result about my "twin soul". And I realise I could not imagine what life would be like without certain people in my life. I think it's all a matter of chance - which is in fact yuan fen isn't it? I'm grateful for what fate has given me, the good things for what they are, the bad things for how they train me.

Side: Eason Chen is on air - love his voice..

Thursday, 3 November 2005

What was that all about??

Just read what I wrote last night. Rather, early this am. Sometimes I feel embarassed when I read my old entries - like tmi or too silly - and I'll think: why the hell did I write that?! Hmmm, nvm! :p

Oh btw, I cut my hair today :)

Sito: More pro.. Where your hair ends is what you sell; it ends at your head, you're selling your brains. Longer, then..
mf: Oh.. Then I should have it longer :p
Shifu: Nice hairstyle..
Tru: You look fresh!
Dan: A bit weird, not long not short..

Pictures some other day..

Getting sleepy, shall practise weight change for ballroom, shower and sleep..


Suddenly smell something real nice. Some perfume? It's almost 4am. Could it be the smell of the early morning? Can't remember the last time I stayed up this late in front of a comp. Must be in Oxford; there were times when I crawled back under my duvet only when I heard the birds singing and the sky was dawning..

I'm tempted to wait for first light. It should be quite early right, at this time of the year in the northern hemisphere? Ok we're not too up north here at 3deg above the equator. Or is it 0.3deg? :p

Thought it interesting that even at this lattitude, slight changes in daylight hours are still detectable, eg it was pretty bright the past week or so when I woke at 630am.. Or was it slightly darker? Oh dear, perhaps I should sleep..

Oh, this evening, colleague mentioned that it looked rather dark for 630pm. It's Nov now, the clock has been turned back last weekend in the higher lattitudes. I only recalled when I switched on my lappy yesterday and it asked me to check the computer time - it's still in UK time!

Anyway, found the source of the fragrance - CY's souvenir for me from Aus: a lavendar soap bar on the altar behind me. Love it :)


Exchanged my Krisflyer points for a return ticket to Taipei and found my old mobile number under my contact details. Very easy to remember right? Another one was even better: 07747017774. Can't remember the other two I had..

Taiwan trip will be late Nov. Thinking of taking off to Hong Kong too, cos I have a $100 Valuair voucher that I don't want to waste. And I don't mind going for a short weekend just to eat and club. Xmas or birthday it shall be..

The search

The other day, I suddenly recalled an essay I submitted to NJ's Chinese publication Dawn. It started with me rummaging through boxes of stuff, not knowing what I was looking for until I found it. (Essay can be found in my other blog.)

Isn't that the case with life? That it's a long search. You don't know the object in concern until you see it; you don't even know if it exists until you see it. Sometimes, you find it; other times, it finds you. If it exists. If luck would have it. If.

You know when people say they're lost? I've said that about myself before, and my solution then was "to find myself". Am I the object of my search? The real mf? Then I ask: what if I finally "find myself" and realise that the mf who is now typing furiously and spoiling her manicure is not the real thing? What if the real mf is a dark, unsmiling girl with a tendency to abuse little kittens?

And then, so what if I find myself? Specifically, what happens after that? I guess another search will commence in no time. For the next object. Why? Because I believe that we being human need fulfilment in life, fulfilment obtained by attaining some kind of goal; the first object has been found, ie a goal reached, so we have to go for the next.

I'm reminded of a debate in year 1 GP class - my class was full of chim heads and one fluff chick that was me - on whether there was a point in life. Lots of people argued that there was no point in life - at all! I didn't join in either side cos I wasn't the kind to speak up - still am not, usually - but I kept thinking, hey there must be a meaning to life!

Why are we born? To aid in the natural life cycle of this tiny portion of the universe, ie to kill the earth with our CFCs etc, so that when everyone's dead, the earth may be reborn again and maybe another life form will thrive? I don't think so. I don't want to think of myself as just an insignificant oxygen-consuming, carbon-generating creature; I want to mean something to at least some people. And thanks to those who acknowledge me, I believe and I know I already am. That in itself is a fulfilment to me that I know will always be with me. Perhaps that's why I'm concurrently in search of other fulfilment now..?

Two concrete items come to mind:
1) My calling in life. Do I want to make my current job my career? I mean, I enjoy it but do I want to do it forever? In fact, do I even want such a career in the first place? My ideal career is a full-time wife and mum. That's not possible as yet so I should really think about what I want to do for the long term. I give myself the next two years to think of something.

2) A man - yes, that's right, and read that again - not boy ok, I'm no cradle snatcher! But I think this is even more difficult than the first one.. Maybe more about this in another entry.. (yes, back-blog too)

But I suspect I'm in search of something more abstract. Perhaps for the part of me that has never really existed, or that has been forgotten. Or maybe it's something that'll put my world into perspective, something that'll make me appreciate myself, my life and the people around me more - I must admit I feel I've never consciously tried enough for people who care about me.

An unhealthy thought just entered my mind.. I'm leading what I think is a very full life now, with my work and my dancing and my good old friends. What if there's nothing else to look forward to anymore? Scary..

Ok I'm starting to lose myself in my words. Nvm if it sounds senseless, I just need to spit it out. Lately, I found it a chore to even smile. Yes! mf! Not smiling! Just doesn't gel, right? I worry I'm burning myself out. And the past few decent conversations I've had with friends also put things into my head, things which refuse to go away.

I need to do some self-reflection. Perhaps this is a start.


It's 230am. Just got back from Union, didn't dance much but it was great fun chatting and practising some ballroom right outside :) And saw some cool dances too just before we left.

Anyway, I was surprised to see the lights on when I walked to the front door. MZ is watching TV - man, it's some 50-yr-old show! - and YQ is playing celeb mahjong on the comp. Mother nagged at us all a bit and went back in.

Decided to do something long overdue - see subject. Too many random thoughts darting about but I don't have time to blog every day! Following entries may date back about a month..

Wednesday, 2 November 2005

Harry Potter is showing from 17 Nov!

That's ZR and Jon doing the HP and Malfoy thing at their grad ceremony. A tourist walked by and saw them when they first did it and begged them to pose for her camera :p

Now, mf as Hermione with precious Crookshanks! And of course with Dor as Snow White. So sweet right? She had the perfect red apple and even a bird singing on her finger - I want..

Before Hermione, I was considering:
1) Some dark angel, ie not the sweet and pretty white - can look pretty too! But doesn't feel mf enough..
2) A Chinese ghost from an old Hong Kong movie, acted by Anita Mui - like that very much but I'll need to alter my cheongsam to get a higher slit - troublesome..
2) Chun-li - yes, that street fighter girl, but I'll need to buy a - what? - D cup bra and stuff it with tissue paper to look the part.. Um, nice thought :p but troublesome too..
3) Some witch - Kel had always said I looked like one o_O no no..

Hence the idea for Hermione for this Halloween - I like! Picture doesn't show very well - I forgot to take a full shot of myself - but that's my scholar's gown over sub-fusc, except I had changed the black ribbon for red and gold (ok, yellow), Gryffindor's colours, and the skirt was different from the one I wore for finals years back.

Anyway, the world must have gathered at Zouk that night - the queue was too damn long! I joined Ultimo in the Phuture queue just past ten. Sito and HW soon joined us as a Chinese ghost and a bunny girl.

JD arrived after Dor as a vampire who had lost his right fang.. And this is one friendly smiley vampire ok..

I think it was midnight when they announced that tickets for Phuture were no more and we walked two steps to the Zouk queue but the same thing happened after a while and no, we were so NOT going to join the Velvet queue! We migrated to the hotel lounge for a drink instead..

On the way..

My poor shoe! The sole came off totally! (And that was JD's foot..) Then when I went to the bathroom to dump the sole, I had a Mentos moment: the other sole was feeling loose so I tore it off! :p Later I also saw that even the leather part of my shoes was peeling off too, a bit sad that my lovely finals shoes were going but well, one less pair of shoes for Mother to nag me on..

Saw some celebs at the hotel lounge, including Fiona Xie, Kel's dream girl! You should have come with us :p Ultimo said David Gan would be appalled at the state of my hair, but hey, I'm no celeb, just good old mf :)

Played some card tricks at the lounge for a while before we left the lounge to check out Zouk again but guess what - there was still a queue! Ridiculous.. We split!

And - this doesn't happen every day ok - a vampire sent me back :p

We even said hi to the people in the car next to us at a junction - very funny, heh!

Overall, a bit sian we didn't manage to go in but the dressing up was fun! But next year we all must wear as little as possible cos it was too damn hot queueing out there..

Oh btw, check this space on 17 Nov for something I've been nursing for a while :p Hope I can roll it out by then..

PS: Kel sent me a quiz and man, too much of a coincidence??

Which HP Kid Are You?
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