mf the fifth

Submitted my 58-page paper at 5pm, done with Amore treatment by 7pm, finished packing by 9pm - oh yes I did! And it must be the fastest packing EVER! Then I cabbed down to a house party hosted by XY and friends. And, guess what, she announced her engagement! CONGRATS, XY!!! :)

XY is the first of us five - ahhh, a number, is my blog title getting obvious? :p Hup and I thought CW should be next, based on attitudes. Sito and Hup - well, debatable, but mf! mf has to be the last, for the following reasons:

1) People think she's attached: met a middle-aged colleague from neighbouring department in the toilet the other day and mentioned my Taiwan trip in our chit chat.

She (I actually don't know her name!): So nice, going with bf?
mf: No la, go with gf (no mention of pig cos he hadn't confirmed then), don't have bf!
She: Sure got bf!
mf: No leh, waiting for you to intro me! *standard retort*
She: Nah, so pretty, must have bf already!
mf: Aiyah, everyone thinks like that, no guy will ask me out one! :p
She: Well.. Not like that la.. (At this point, think she didn't know how to carry on, and sure enough..) Have la!

And she left the bathroom rather quickly!

2) People think she is too powerful with her credentials and hence feel either inferior or intimidated: two examples here..

a) Sito told me his students, who saw me when I helped out at a ballroom demo some time ago, thought I was pretty AND smart AND - omg - from Oxford! And they went sighs.. Hello, you young adults, check out my "no ugly people" entries and just do your best in what you like - don't compare and honestly, no use topping schools. Oxford has been great fun, yes, and trust me, a couple of As maybe, but you don't need STRAIGHT As to get in! Plus, care to know the ditzy mf?

b) Some time ago, friend tried to set me up with his friend, who thought I was intimidating. Obviously not my demeanour but my creds, again. The same day he told me his friend's comments about me - for the record, my comment about his frend was his nice smile, superficial yes but it was a superficial setting at New Asia Bar! -, this other guy told me my creds were one reason why he liked me.

c) Oops, three examples afterall.. This happened more than a year ago. SY and I were talking about guys and relationships etc. We both had the same feeling that guys could be intimidated by us cos of our looks (we ARE good-looking!), our performance in school etc.

See?

I wonder, when will someone take away all presumptions and look at me proper, and see mf, instead of my stupid creds.. Sometimes I feel more stupid than my creds but that's another story for another day..

Anyway, I'm in the mood for.. blog, not love. In fact, at the moment I'm starting to feel quite pissed that people usually see me just as an Oxford grad, which is only part of mf! It's the wrong reason for feeling intimidated or liking me! And I refuse to hide this fact and pretend I'm from a local poly as someone (jokingly, I hope) suggested - and how could I deny four fabulous years of my life?

So below is a negative list ie guys I cannot accept or guys who are not my type. YX and Kel, pls, read line #1 again and again before you come to me dropping names. There has to be 9, for no reason other than it being my fav:

1) Cannot be too decent, too guai, cos I'm not. Read this in a magazine when I cut my hair, thought it's a nice description: 最有魅力的男人是已经学乖，但根本就有点坏的男人！ :p
2) No slack listless unfocused eyes! Remember what I said in my first "no ugly people" entry? Unfocused looks (as in eyes-looks) are a big no-no!
3) Cannot be shorter than me UNLESS - yes, there's an exception - he exudes boundless confidence. Confidence, not ego balls! Actually this item is more about confidence - it's important!
4) Cannot be thinner than me - for obvious reasons (for the dense: I'm not body confident enough, esp around thin people)
5) This should be a positive item but I'll twist it so that it becomes: cannot be unable to swim! :p Sounds a bit strange and in fact, most guys can swim. But I almost drowned at 9 (pool) and 20 (beach), and I still cannot really swim so I'm going to be absolutely anal on this "rule". And I'm getting an instructor too - boss reminded me today when he said he was making his young son learn swimming! Make a mental note to respond to the next swim lesson ad I see..
6) Cannot be stupid - but Oxford degree is not nec too *.* I mean there has to be some kind of intellectual exchange right? Although, well, I actually listen more than I say :p
7) Cannot be in a different frequency - to elaborate, I need to connect spiritually. Nothing to do with religion, just a feeling - it's difficult to qualify feelings.. You just know if someone "feels alright".. You know?
8) Cannot be (too..?) possessive/controlling cos I'll suffocate and die. Cannot be nice to me all the time too; I may suffocate and die too.. Ya, that's strange of me.. Is it justifiable to say that I don't want to feel obliged to be nice in return?
9) Cannot give in to me all the time cos a relationship is a more or less equal partnership - I say more or less cos I still want doors opened for me at age 60, not least that I don't like door handles or I push when it reads pull :p Anyway, point is I need someone who can be firm with me, reasonably firm. Hmm, sounds like taming of mf? Haha! Shall go borrow that book some day..

Man, just realise this is long! Feeling better after listing these, but doubt I wish to re-read this in daylight :p Shall check in my flight online and go sleep..