The sly ones

On Wednesday night, Kai was about to go to bed at about 10 pm when he saw Yu's door ajar. He took a peek and found Yu totally in his blanket. As usual, Kai decided to disturb his brother if he wasn't asleep. So he went in and lifted the blanket, only to find Yu wide awake inside AND WITH HIS PHONE!

Sito and I heard Yu shout at Kai to go away. At first we were upset at Kai for disturbing his brother's sleep and went to the walkway outside Yu's room as Kai came out. But when Kai told us Yu was playing with his phone, he was partially absolved. 

Later, we reminded him to never disturb his brothers at bedtime, and if he should suspect anything, to come straight to us unless he was also looking for a scolding.

Back to Yu. I went in to see him holding his phone, which shows Pleco, our usual Chinese dictionary. I set a passcode immediately and gave Yu a piece of my mind. 

I trusted him to use it only when given permission, e.g. Chinese dictionary during term time, so there was no passcode. The phone is always on his desk in his room as it acts as his alarm clock too. 

But he betrayed this trust! 

Cue the silent tears...  

Told him he would suffer consequences, the first being that he would be very tired the next morning. Papa said he would have to give up some phone time during the holidays.

I felt the gods of parenting programmes nodding their approval as I scolded him in a calm voice :p

Yesterday morning at the breakfast table, Kai was taunting Yu for looking at anime girls* on his phone the night before. Yu claimed again that it was just the Chinese dictionary. Anyway, Yang and Yu were always running late so I chased them out of the house first.

* The kids have this thing about it being sus to look at anime girls. Later, Yang said Kai probably saw an in-game ad.

Later in the morning, I thought if Yu was looking at the Chinese dictionary, I might as well review the words he saw and go through with him. So I went to the app history, and found only a couple of words at 9.59 pm; the earlier words were seen earlier in the evening when he was doing Chinese homework.

I was very upset. He not only used his phone without permission but also lied!

I went into screen time and found all the evidence I needed and more. He was playing games when Kai walked in on him. Worse, this boy had been using his phone almost every night at 9-10 pm and even in the middle of the night like 2-3am!

No wonder he was always sleepy when I woke him for school. No wonder he was always asking if I were going to check on him at 11 pm!

I also found that this happened on nights he slept with Yang. So I took out Yang's phone and found that this boy also used his phone without permission after I left his room at night! His poison was Youtube rather than games though. But before I checked the history further, I turned on parental controls - his is an Android - and all the history was gone somehow!

I didn't have time yesterday but just now, I saw from Youtube history that he watched some videos on facts but mostly reels on Squid Game or random stuff like "saddest find inside an egg"?!

When Yang came home yesterday, I told him I was very upset with what he and Yu did behind my back. He didn't come out during the 10 pm commotion but he was actually up based on his Youtube history so he probably heard something. When I asked him if he could tell what I was upset about, he went, "Phone?"

Then he owned up to everything - using phone without permission after I left his room and in the middle of the night when he woke and couldn't sleep. Gave him a good scolding! Also talked about trust and reputation.

Kai was happily (!) watching by the side, coz I told him I'd scold him if he interrupted. But actually Kai is the one with the best sleep discipline - sleep means sleep. I checked his screen time too and he has been quite ok, mostly playing chess on the way to and from school, and in the evenings mostly. Told him I wouldn't restrict him if he uses it moderately and always puts his studies first.

Later, when Yu came home, I questioned him. He continued to claim he was using the Chinese dictionary. Then I revealed I knew everything. Scolded him again and also for lying, which was worse. 

Now both are afraid that they wouldn't be able to use their phones at night during our holiday next week as I have set downtime from 8 pm to 8 am.

Let them be scared!

Good boy and his sly brothers

Btw, these glasses were used just that one time as they prefer their plastic Ikea cups.