Am scribbling on paper anyway, trying to unblock my mind.. Might as well post it.. Perhaps you can help..?
If you recall, I blogged about P(couplehood) in September. I'm still researching on the issue..
Was talking to Sito the other day on encouraging people to get married. He said people must (a) meet someone, and (b) that someone must be the "right" person. Agreed with him that the key is (a); you've got to meet enough people to increase the chance of spotting the right one - or, just thought of this, to realise that everyone is not quite right except for someone who has always been there :p
Then just recently, another thought occurred to me: what do you do when you meet someone? Meeting is just the beginning. There must be some level of interaction to find out if he/she is right, or not quite right. Think that's where something must be done; we could meet 10 new people a day but if one party just keeps quiet or couldn't make conversation etc, there is simply zero chance to find out. Except that it's likely..not right.
Hence, social skills matter more than interaction opportunities. For (a) and (b) to work, people should have pre-requisite social skills. But where, and in fact, when and how do we start?
Was just listening to colleagues talking about how kids these days would rather spend time on the computer than with friends, and boys in particular, prefer Gears of War to chasing skirts - or pretty pants..
Like that how to develop good social skills?!!
Me, I'm at a loss, stuck in my research.. Was thinking some study on gender differential in the search for a partner might help, but I kept turning up dating websites. Could be a case of bad choice of keywords.. Help! =(
Not too difficult - we're built to fall in love. See, when we're at about fertile age (13 - 18) we get crushes and infatuations - these would help a caveman or cavewoman get hitched. Nowadays we delay mating till we're 20+ or 30, so infatuation don't work so well. But we remember what it's like to fall in love, don't we? So we keep searching for that loving feeling. Some give up, some don't. So we find someone we like, then start dating to get to know them better, then decide to settle down, and establish a contract to stay together - that social contract is of course, "marriage". I mean, there are vows and signing and registration and everything. And that is the story of couplehood. - WhiteDragon.
ReplyDeleteBeing sociable may be good but not necessary. One needs to meet the "right" one to bring the best out of him/her. There is always someone out there who can match the one at the other end. How do the two end up together? Like you said, the need to meet more. Nowadays, the problem with singles is "opportunity". Singles are lacking the chance to meet potential mates, not to mention interact. In short, one need to branch out to extend the reach for wider social circle, thereby, increasing the probability.
ReplyDeleteCaveat being, there is no the RIGHT ONE too! But there must be a minimum level of "clicks" to substain the long marathon like relationship.
Doozy
join speed dating?
ReplyDeletei went one recently. nothing bad about speed dating.
hehehe
YY
I think a lot has to do with what kind of partner one is searching for. Expectations/criteria probably plays a big role in this. Or whether one is searching for a partner in the first place.
ReplyDeleteOne's disposition and character also plays a role. A pretty/handsome person, or one with a smashing personality, will have more suitors and admirers than your average man-on-the-street.
Those are my thoughts on meeting Mr/Ms Right.
Of course, over the course of a relationship, people rarely remain Mr/Ms Right throughout. There will be rough patches, people change, take each other for granted, etc. Factors outside the couple also play a part e.g. family, work stress.
All in all, it's a lot easier to become a couple than it is to stay one :)
Zain