A stressful 21w5d

Our route to parenthood is somewhat arduous.

Had another ultrasound scan today to check my cervix. No problem there.

But also had another scan of baby as a particular scan wasn't clear at the detailed scan two weeks ago. First, I felt a bit sian to see the sonographer I had just over a year ago who told me Angel Baby had no heartbeat. Then after she was done with me and sent the scans to the doctor, I felt super sian to see the doctor walk in.

Indeed, she did the same scan again and told me that baby's nuchal fold is thicker than expected - 6.5 mm instead of below 6 mm. This increased the risk of Down's Syndrome from 1 in 2500 in our first trimester screening to 1 in 150 now. She said we could do an amnio to find out, although that would carry a 1 in 300 chance of miscarriage.

Well, there are 149 chances in 150 that baby is perfectly fine! Still, it was pretty stressful to take in this information, especially when Sito had to be at his final project presentation and couldn't be with me today.

I was trying to think clearly and managed to have a little discussion with the doctor there and then. There were a couple of mitigating factors. This scan is not done after 21w6d - I'm just two days shy of that, so it's pretty borderline. Also, no other risk marker was found.

So I'm more inclined to believe in the 149.

I came home with a heavy heart. I googled like mad. Then I sank into the sofa with a can of Pringles until Sito came home. We have decided that we will not do an amnio to find out now because of the risk of miscarriage - we'll have baby no matter what. But we may do an amnio later so that we could be more prepared if baby has any issue.

Yesterday, I suddenly felt very strong as I went about doing laundry. I attributed that to baby. Now, I place my faith in him too, that he will be fine and bouncy comes July.

On a happier note, I saw baby again, in 3D. He was a sleepyhead today and moved only a little. And he's getting chubbier. We thought he looks more like me at this point although he seems to have Sito's nostrils :p

Also, last night, I dreamt that I felt baby's foot through my tummy! It was so real I called out to Sito to come have a look! And that was when I woke from the dream. And I don't know if this happened before or after that dream but I felt three (real!) taps on my bladder. Actually, there have been other taps here and there but somehow, I didn't associate them with baby until last night. Perhaps the taps are not exactly what I imagine baby kicks to be like but well, I don't know of anything else that could move inside me!