ZK, ZK and more ZK! :)

Little ZK is sleeping now, nicely curled up in the middle of the bed, quite unlike this :p



Just uploaded the photo of ZK in the MBS jacuzzi pool in my earlier post - super cute! And here are more of him in MBS..

In the room with my in-laws - love that thoughtful look! And in a person so small - very cute! :)



This was at our dim sum lunch. Check out his sock - coming loose from his pull!



He soon fell asleep in my arms, awww...



Without his pacifier..



Baby spa followed - doing warm-up in his swim diaper!



And very happy to be in the pool :)



Saturday, 20 Apr 2013, was an important day. ZK crawled out from the room, looked at Sito who happened to go towards him and said "papa". Sito's eyes went wide and his mouth went small :p My boys :)

After baby spa yet again, we went to Mothercare to try on potties! Decided on the bigger BabyBjorn Potty Chair. We didn't buy it then and there cos I wanted a colour that wasn't available :p

Dinner came next and we ate a lot at a Sichuan steamboat buffet place in Vivocity. And so did ZK! I gave him some plain fish, tofu and rice soaked in chicken soup which wasn't salty. Think he must be really full that day... But we topped it off with some formula just before bedtime - this was the first day I stopped nursing before bed. So sad, no more fresh milk directly from milk milk factory :(

Since I'm not nursing, I also stop carrying him until he falls asleep. I would just let him roll on the bed until he sleeps. But he started to wake at all hours at night and wail non-stop. He didn't even want the pacifier! It was just hard to calm him.

On Sunday night, after he woke at 11 pm and smelled nasty, I brought him to our bed to check for poop. No poop but he was so super cute! He had his little chin on Sito's leg :) I was so tempted to just keep him with us that night! Sito gave a firm no. Yes, I should be firm too!

And on Tuesday night, actually early Wednesday morning, he woke at 4 am and cried so badly! :( Then he started going for my boob. Hungry?! But he hasn't had milk in the middle of the night for months! But no choice, I gave him a small bottle. After that, the pacifier worked, phew!

Last Sunday, he had a proper dinner for the first time. I heeded IFC's advice to give this hungry boy dinner. Gave him 50g of Heinz baby oats and a small bottle of milk to top it off. But yesterday and today, when I gave him Quaker instant oats, he rejected them! Why?! Yesterday, I ended up giving him milk. Today, I ended up sharing my scone with him - I was famished and had to buy a scone after fetching him.

Anyway, back to photos..

He now stands everywhere and he will pull on anything to stand! This was at our sofa - found Papa's bag strap, to chew on of course!



Mum gave him some cleaned containers to play with and he loved them! Now I'm using one set to distract him on the changing mat :p



He found his toy box and reached into it! I have a similar shot - digging into Mother's bag for food :p



When I pulled him away, he would only smile sweetly at me :)



Spent that Sunday just rolling around with toys, and he was happy! 自 high-ing :p



ZK could hold his milk bottle on his own already. But holding it while asleep - you win, baby!



But he drank very slowly that evening. I got a sense of how difficult it can be when Sito fed me Yukult through a tiny straw on Saturday while I washed dishes :p

He is also trying to transfer support - from the stool to the bench, from the bed to me, etc. Good for him!



And I heard he could even wave bye bye! He did that yesterday in IFC. Just not to me :(

He also knows how to say "no" - by using his hands! He used to just shut his mouth when we tried to feed him medicine *.*



Last Sunday, I finally took out some books. Wanted to read to him but...

What is this?



Oh, it's yummy!



This is yummier - times two cos there were pretty aunties to seduce too!



Anyway, after getting him used to having dinner, I'll introduce bedtime reading :)

Maybe baby

Last week, I effectively stated very publicly on FB that I would love to have another baby. And yesterday over a baby-free weekday lunch with LS they all, she commented that it would be challenging with Sito away most of the time. Sigh, how unfortunately true...

Thinking back, we don't exactly have a very good track record. We had one whole year of failed attempts before we managed to get pregnant although we lost that one. And, the whole year of failed attempts happened in Singapore. We succeeded - twice - only in Evanston.

Is it the weather? Is it the stress? Is it the frequent consumption of "liang" stuff which is very common in our hot little island? Or is it the not-so-tasty TCM treatment I went through?

So to up our chances of having a new baby in our arms next year, I'm starting to cut out funny foods and rubbish food from my diet to prime my ageing body - after all, I'm not biologically young anymore... If need be, we'll enter phase two, which is to adjust Sito's diet as well. And if we still have no luck, well, it's back to acupuncture and nasty concoctions *.*

老了

早上经过Oblivion的电影海报时，赫然发现Tom Cruise老了。再搜索一下中学时期偶像的近照，原来年轻时的偶像都老了。再看看镜子，我们也老了。

不过，老了有老了的样子还是好的，但别太皱啦！那些老了又看起来太年轻的，老实说我还真觉得有点可怕！

那天有人说我介于28到32之间，现在听起来还可以接受，甚至感到欢喜。因为有小孩，我也觉得我多少要保留心境年轻才可以试图理解下一代年轻人的想法，以减免代沟。可是如果有人在我40岁时还这样说我，那是说我保养超好，还是说我的行为举止还未成熟呢？

前阵子，我发现了眼睛周围的皱纹，还问起老公有没有长白发（老公：没有）。最近，我留意到健壮（不错啦！）腹肌之上那层松弛的肚皮，是吸气再吸气也吸不掉的那种。可是，我还是蛮喜欢的！并没有想去减肥什么的。可以接受任何年龄、任何样貌的自己，算是一件很幸福的事吧？:)

He knows

First of all, I must admit that I got my dates wrong - not that I remember his birth date wrongly but I really thought Thursday was the 12th when I blogged about ZK turning nine months!

So well, on the 12th, which was yesterday, he finally crawled out of his bedroom on his own while I was busy in the kitchen! I heard little hands on the floor, turned and saw his little head showing just behind the laundry basket outside his room. Super cute :)

Today, I had to work in the morning. Sito and Mum brought him to MBS where he had a foot bath in the jacuzzi hoho! No swim diaper.. Will post photos here when I get them..

What are you thinking about, my dear one?



After lunch, we headed for the baby spa, at Plaza Sing again. This time, he was super happy! We think he is now able to recognise that this is a fun activity :)

This evening, we decided to give him a bath instead of the usual shower. New colourful balls from Daiso and two rubber duckies were waiting on the water for ZK who seemed happy to see bath toys like in the baby spa :)

Then as usual, Papa dried him on the bed while I dried myself. ZK was looking at me. Then, suddenly, he said "mama".

"Mama", not "mamamamamama".

Wow.

Sito said he thought ZK knew what he was saying.

Wow.

But guess what, I felt strangely calm, as if he had been calling me "mama" forever, as if it was to be expected. But of course, it IS expected!

Now that I think about that moment, it just feels extraordinary.

He hasn't been speaking much for the past couple of weeks. It wasn't until this afternoon that he started saying "mamamamamama" again. And then, he stopped at just "mama", while looking right at me.

My dear boy, 九个月了就是不一样 :)

ZK is nine months old! :)

Big boy now :) And looking ever so serious!



What? I'm still a baby! And I cheeew! (With my leg up like a little beng beng, no less!)



That day, he had quite a bit of "outside food" - I gave him my tofu, rice and the inside of my teriyaki salmon. Gotta time the feeds properly such that he finished his bowl after we were done so that we could up and leave should he get cranky when he realised there was none left! But thankfully, he was alright..

He is super efficient at his lizard crawl now - check this out:



Doesn't that just remind you of Sadako in The Ring?! :p

He's not terribly good at climbing yet, still burying his head a lot. But using my hand as a support, he could prop up his little butt and land his feet on the floor, even moving his feet forward to get into a standing position eventually!

He can also climb from the floor to his bed now, often with or in search of his pacifier! Or my iPhone *.*



Since two weekends ago, I've been doing some serious mopping so that I can let him crawl around. Sometimes he would have crawled to the door when I get to him! The first time he did that was last Monday just before Sito left at 5 am - I didn't know and hit his head with the knob behind the door :(

My first reaction was shock. I held my hands to my mouth before I reached in to shuffle him sideways so that I could get the door open to get to him. Almost cried with him but he stopped pretty soon!

And in the morning, usually, I'll let him play in the room while I prepare stuff. Sometimes, he would crawl out happily :) But he has not gone too far from his room yet...

Another video of him crawling, this time at IFC:



Just that morning, I was thinking how nice it was to have all those toys in IFC; he would never get all of those if I were to take care of him myself! And that very evening, I saw how he enjoyed himself :) And the carer told me he was standing in the playpen and trying to move around the perimeter by holding on to the rim!

We went out quite a bit in the past few weeks - we were all healthy! Now let's stay that way...

The one day that Sito wasn't feeling too well, I cooked porridge for all of us - beef, spinach and pumpkin!



Alright, it looks pretty gross *.* But it was yummy! I added a sweet corn into the rice cooker too - it was so expensive ok, $2.40!

ZK is now taking two steady meals a day, each almost completely replacing milk. I said almost, because he seems to be eating more cereals at home and more porridge in school, and when he doesn't take enough, we give him milk shortly after.. I wonder why.. My porridge is so nice! And we use the same cereals!

Some time early last week, I stopped nursing on my left - he had not taken very well to that factory for a while by then. So now, it's just my right. Talk about dua suey liap... O_o

We were having dinner at Menya Musashi - there was absolutely nothing there that I could give him but he'd had milk so it was alright. But check out that little mouth!



This is not snot, Mama. This is my cookie. I just don't know how it got there...



I usually give him a cookie after his cereals so that I can clean up. Except last last Saturday - I got the timing wrong and his eyes were shutting as I fed him water after every few mouthfuls of cereals! It was pretty hilarious actually, that is, until he started whining cos he was too sleepy!

Oh, have I mentioned before? That day, 23 March, I was cooking porridge for him to bring to IFC as I had to work that Saturday. I delayed picking him up from his little seat and he went "mamamamamamama"! :) Whatever that means! :)

Anyway, with all these solids, he's pooping seriously gross stuff now. He must have had a stomachache on April's Fool day - instead of crawling or whining to be picked up, he lay on his belly on the floor, softly whining :( He kept whining softly as I massaged his belly on the changing table. Then it happened. Can't remember if it was then but there was once he pooped a little extra after I put on diaper cream! Thank goodness it was not projectile poop! And so I decided that that night, he would graduate - no more shit pad on his bed!

We've been going to baby spa more regularly too. He fits better into this now:



My little towkay :)



And last Saturday, we went to Plaza Sing instead of Harbourfront - they had containers with punched holes that totally mesmerised him!



We finally used the voucher from the baby spa when we signed up for a year - got a free framed photo:



It doesn't come in soft copy so I took the above using my phone hence the colour.. But the two below are nice! Cos we paid $30 for each, ouch!

Aiyoh, why so poor thing?!



We find this super classic. Many of us must have a photo sitting on some rattan chair!

Where are all the dead animals?

A lizard died on the TV bench yesterday. It looked like it just stopped in its track when I turned on the light upon returning with ZK. This morning, it was still in the same position, and I wondered if it was dead.. Then Mum called in the afternoon to say that she found it full of ants!

Ok, so it was dead when I found it. But how did it die?? 被吓死的??!

Actually I’ve always been wondering – what happens to animals (not pets) when they die? I mean, we bury or cremate our folks. But animals don’t light matches.. I imagine they won’t dig a hole for their folks too!

There are so many stray cats and mynahs and pigeons and crows in Singapore. Sure, sometimes you see a flattened bird on the road. But what about the majority of these animals? How do they die? Where do they die? What happen to the bodies?? Another scenario is survival of the fittest. I have seen it a number of times - a cat ready to pounce on a blur pigeon. But that really begs the question - who eats the cat?! Surely not the nice puppy next door! And no one will eat that nice puppy anyway!

So I did a little googling.. And ended up with a whole lot of spiritual things about where animals go to when they die!

I lost my train of thought here cos I just dozed off while thinking *.* Been very tired the past week. Or perhaps just sleepy. Maybe I'll research more on this topic another day...

A very good Good Friday

Well, I barely ranted about it and ta-da! We committed ourselves to a new apartment this afternoon! I've never signed such a big cheque in my life before. And the account doesn't even have that much money yet haha!

Time to say bye bye in name to our little flat... We'll only say bye bye physically to this little place in 2017. Until now, we must really enjoy living here...

More details at some point!

Ranting about housing

I want to rant - it's so hard to grow our family when faced with an housing problem!

See, we originally bought this three-room flat in 2009 as we didn't need a bigger place then. And we were buying within our means. We thought, hey, next time we could always upgrade right. After a few years, we would have enough savings to get a bigger place and rent this one out to help pay for the second one. When our kids are grown and have left this nest, we could move back to our matrimonial home, perhaps retiring with some passive income from renting out the bigger place. Nice, right?

And then the cooling measures were dropped on us. Tmd.

Implications - if we get a second place, we will face additional stamp duty and a hefty downpayment cos we have an outstanding loan. Not going to bother explaining here - go google ABSD and loan-to-value ratio. We have to get rid of our little flat to avoid the additional stamp duty and to get a bigger loan from the bank. But that means we'll lose our matrimonial flat! Sentiments at play here...

But we do need a bigger place. Now with only ZK, it's fine. But when number two comes along, we'll need full-time help. Really, you can't expect me to push a stroller and drag a toddler up and down Taman Warna on my own! Nononono! So the desk will have to shift from the little room to the living room to make space for the full-timer. The mess, I can bear. But I also have to bear with sharing a toilet with a non-husband person; another of my OCDs - that, I hope to endure for as short a time as possible!

And, we were thinking of having three or four kids. But I seriously doubt ZK's room could take more than two kids. Yes, I grew up in a three-room flat with two siblings and five of us shared one room at one point cos we rented out the other room. But this is another generation, and I want our kids to live more comfortably. So no, I don't think we can have three kids here, not to mention four.

Conclusion - we need a bigger place and soon!

But no money :(

Mum has an idea - transfer the flat to them so that we could keep it in the family. The profit from selling it wouldn't help much anyway.. Then no more additional stamp duty and we could get 80% loan yeah! But we will still need to borrow cash to pay off the mortgage for the flat - in-laws couldn't get bank loan - and to pay for the downpayment of our new place cos our savings are quite depleted after Kellogg.

So we're now checking with HDB on the transfer, looking at showflats here and there, and getting AIP for bank loan. With any luck, by the middle of this year, we would be chest deep in debt hoho!

We're looking at new developments so the earliest we could move should be 2016 or so; getting a resale apartment means incurring reno costs which will require yet more cash. We've discussed and decided that we will have another baby in the next couple of years, move to a bigger place, then see if we could have one more. I hope we can have number three!

miso: Siao, make number two first!

Ashes to ashes

I missed 清明 this year :( It has always been a hot but cosy family affair.

In land scarce Singapore, I think most people cremate their dead. I just found out that even if you choose to be buried, you will be exhumed in 15 years to be cremated and stored in columbaria niches, unless you're buried for religious reasons, in which case you will be re-buried in a smaller plot of land.

Um, wa liao?!

I've decided long ago that I want to be cremated. But instead of being kept in an urn and collecting dust in a columbaria niche or in the home of my descendants, I want to be scattered into the sea. It's possible to do that - found this on the NEA website:

"The scattering of small amounts of ashes can be carried out at the designated site located about 1.5 nautical miles (2.8 km) south of Pulau Semakau. The scattering of ashes can be conducted daily, from 0700 hrs-1900 hours. For further information on scattering of ashes, please call the Port Marine Safety Control Centre at telephone number: 6325 2488."

Now, Sito and ZK, please take note :) Remember me in your heart instead of in an urn.

Raising a multi-lingual kid

... is what we hope to do!

Sito grew up speaking English and Mandarin. I grew up speaking English, Mandarin and Hokkien. We both learnt Japanese and we're learning Bahasa Indonesian now. But the last two are difficult as we started way past the sensitive period for learning languages.

Jo's boy could understand four languages - English, German, Mandarin and some Japanese from his childcare centre. I'm showing ZK English flashcards in the morning and Chinese in the evening.

That's the power of children. Early childhood is prime for learning languages. Even if they're spoken to in different languages by different people, they are able to differentiate them so no fear of confusing them.

We hope that ZK can speak both English and Mandarin well - important for school from a practical point of view. Yet, simply relying on the school is not enough - look at how many Singaporeans could master neither language despite (or because of?) our bilingual system! So we're starting at home from birth.

Sito can definitely speak English better than me, although I insist that my pronunciation of "tuition" is the accurate one :p So he's speaking English to ZK while I speak Mandarin.

Actually my Mandarin may not necessarily be better than his - he can carry out a long and difficult conversation in Mandarin, e.g. about buying houses, while I have difficulty doing so! How sad, considering I used to be so proficient in Mandarin. Blame the lack of use at work and the lack of speech when I was growing up :p

But for this early phase, ZK only needs to learn the basics so my Mandarin is definitely better - I'm pretty good with hanyu pinyin! Sito has a tendency to pronounce certain words wrongly, or in the "Singaporean Chinese way", I think, e.g. 撞 *.* But I'm nowhere near perfect either.

I recall my Chinese teachers in primary school, all pretty old-school type whose articulation was perfect. All the ch, sh, zh were properly "curled", all the terminal g (or lack of) was clear and all the 阴阳上去 were accurate. Even the 笔画 order was amazing! So I must improve my Mandarin if I want to teach him the right thing. First of all, I shall not be lazy and I must be sure to "curl" my ch, sh and zh!

We also would like him to learn Cantonese from his paternal grandparents. Many kids these days can't speak any dialect and I think that's a pity. Sito doesn't speak dialect (ordering dim sum aside!) and my Hokkien is very coffee shop-style, unlike that of my dear Grams. That leaves the grandparents. Hopefully, he will be able to understand his own dialect, unlike his parents!!

Anyway, at karaoke back in November, CY and I wondered how we could read 繁体 when we learnt 简体 Chinese in school. Singing probably helps since many of our fave songs are from Taiwan and Hong Kong which use 繁体!

PS: I had a very long PS on proper Chinese pronunciation so I've decided to move that to another post! I'm still researching on some usage so, akan datang :) (A preview here..)

己所(不)欲，勿施于人

The phrase 己所不欲，勿施于人 came to mind during a discussion this afternoon. I want to see if there's an equivalent for the converse. I ended up finding out about the Golden Rule - effectively the English version of 己所不欲，勿施于人: "One should not treat others in ways that one would not like to be treated."

So is there a rule for "one should not expect others to like what one likes"? Or more generically, "one should not expect others to be what one is"?

Imagine this conversation:

A: Here, have a drumstick. It's good.
B: No, thank you. I don't like drumstick.
A: But it's good. Come, have one.
B: But I don't like it!

Perhaps it's as simple as 己所欲，也勿施于人! Something to think about in my parenthood journey..

Part-time single mum again

Sito is in Jakarta! And he will be there on weekdays for the next two to three months, which makes me a part-time single mum, bleah!

He took leave the past two days after his last project which was in Singapore. So on Monday after we were done with St Regis, we sent ZK to IFC for the rest of the afternoon - the teachers who had never seen Sito were pretty excited to see what ZK's papa looked like haha! - and went to watch Oz the Great and Powerful. We like it!

But Oz always reminds me of a day in my childhood. I must be about five or so when my paternal grandmother brought me to the office where she worked as a cleaner. I was left in a meeting room with the boss's daughter who was about my age. I remember she had nice clothes. And a book - yes, it was an Oz book. I couldn't read a word and felt somewhat inferior. But I remember the pictures and probably what she told me cos it was years later when I came across the Oz story that I realised that that was the book she showed me back then.

Anyway, yes, we watched a movie. Then we took a little walk in the new wing of Plaza Sing and had an early dinner before going back to fetch ZK.

Yesterday, I took only afternoon leave to conserve my leave since Sito wasn't able to wake too early anyway! In order to leave work early, I left the house with ZK at 7 am and headed straight for office after dropping him off. Got there before 8 am - what a feat! Managed to get things done and left by 12.20 pm, arriving in Shangri-La just a little later than our 12.30 pm reservation at The Line :)

We ate sooooo much! Seafood, sashimi, tempura, salad, pasta, steak, dim sum, fried noodles, prawn mee, char siew, satay, curry, prata! Oh, and Joy Yee-smell-alike vegetables! :p And the desserts - crepe, cold stone ice cream, cakes, puffs and cream-filled mochi! Washed it all down with earl grey for Sito and cappuccino for me. Soooo satisfied... And soooo full! We didn't have dinner in the end - not hungry!

Walked to Shaw to catch Warm Bodies. Initially, I wasn't interested in a zombie show. But Sito said it was a romantic comedy. A rom-zom-com? He assured me it wouldn't be scary so I gave in. And it really wasn't scary! In fact, it was cute and funny and sweet! *brains* :p

We came home to rest after that. Eh... I thought we rested but actually, no. We were packing his luggage for his trip, doing online check-in, switching power plugs around, etc *.* And very soon, it was time to fetch ZK.

ZK was playing on the play mat when we got there, belly down, toy in hands. He saw us, smiled happily and carried on playing, totally ignoring us! So we let him be for a while and chatted with the teacher until I couldn't take the cold shoulder anymore! :p

He had slept well in IFC these two days but last night he was up for 1.5 hour *.* And then Sito was up to catch his early flight. So I barely had much sleep after 3.30 am.

Now that I'm on my own, well, hope he sleeps better tonight!

Downsizing the milk milk factory

March began with a swollen boob.. That was the second time I had a blockage at that same spot on my right. The last time was also when I was on MC and couldn't use the better of my two pumps in office. And now, I'm blocked there again, argh!

Anyway, the next day, I decided to stop nursing/pumping in mid-day. So even though it was a Saturday and I was with him, I gave him a bottle in the day. But as it was the first day, I got swollen enough in the late afternoon to warrant a nursing session.. But by Sunday, I was able to get by to early evening. And by Monday, I managed to wait until his evening feed. Swollen, yes, but not unbearable. In any case, I was on a course so there was no other way. Perfect timing to stop, I suppose..

So I only managed to give him two bottles of expressed breastmilk for the first few days of no mid-day pump - a combined effort from my tiny store of frozen milk and the morning one-sided pump. By the end of the week on 8 March, I only managed one pathetically small bottle.. And the following week, I finally popped the last frozen milk cube into a small bottle to top it up. Sigh..

Then last Saturday, I decided to stop the morning pump too. I just let him nurse on both sides in the morning. In any case, I was pumping much less than before. And we were going to St Regis and I had no intention of lugging a pump along!

So there, I'm now pump-free. Brought back all my pump essentials from the office last Friday, and kept all my pump essentials at home by Sunday.

It's a little sad that I've stopped pumping. For one, formula milk is expensive! (And it gives stinky poop!) But most importantly, I feel somewhat guilty towards ZK that I couldn't give him more breastmilk until he's one. I know giving him only breastmilk for the first six months is already very good, and I still nurse him directly morning and night now, but well, I can't help thinking sometimes how nice it would be to give him breastmilk in his first year! Too many nazi mums around me :p

On the other hand, I get to really enjoy the morning feed now. (I can't see ZK very well during the night feed :p) In the past, I always had to split my attention between ZK and the pump. Now, I can just look at him, my little one :) Or snuggle in bed with him in the morning and nurse him there. It's a wonderful feeling, especially now that he would look intently at me every so often during a feed :)

Well, I will have to wean him off completely at some point anyway. Hope to do it before we get pregnant again!