My colleague sent me a link to a clip from Oprah on Randy Pausch's last lecture.
I like it.
I guess what really strikes a chord with me are all the positive vibes from a dying man. Btw he is still alive as of today.
What would you do if you know you have only a few months to live?
Some may see me as a positive person now. But I did - still do - have negative and even morbid moments, especially when I was a kid. I remember trying to suffocate myself in a pillow when I was a kid cos I felt so abandoned when upon coming home from a cousin's place, I heard that my father had brought my siblings to the pool. Yes I couldn't swim at all and to this day still cannot claim that I can swim but I loved going to the pool!
Other instances, I just wasn't happy about my family, my friends in secondary school, the way I looked, the behaviour of some people, repetitive homework, the weather, the smell of the air etc... And because of these, I was grouchy a lot of the time. Although, to the credit of my genes or a forgetful mind, I cheered up pretty easily too.
Over the years, especially the last ten years or so, I have let go a great deal. I realise how there is no point being bothered by all these trivialities, especially when these are things I have no control over; what I can control is how I react. If I can better things, I will try, otherwise, I live with it or walk away for more able people to deal with it. There is really no point dwelling on unhappiness if that makes me even more unhappy.
Back to the question, if my body gives up on me, I wish my spirit doesn't so that I could still have a positive impact on my loved ones. I mean, I don't need to change the world, make it a better place. If I can effect something positive on people around me, I think that is enough.
Thinking about the lecture, I think we should live life such that we can answer to ourselves and not shortchange ourselves - that sounds weird in English.. 做人要对得起自己! 前阵子听到一句 “活在当下”，意思应该是不要活在不愉快－ 甚至是愉快－ 的过去，也不要太幻想着未来而疏忽了现在、错过了眼前的一切。但我想加一句 “明天会更好”，因为没理由活在不愉快的当下啊！应该开朗一些，带着过去的人生经历、抱着积极的态度展望未来，不是吗？
Sure, cynics roll their eyes but well, it doesn't matter cos I'm happy the way I am! :)
So, am I Tigger or Eeyore? :) I prefer to be a cheerful Tigger but who sometimes likes to curl up - and not necessarily in a corner - to play with her (this one's a she!) tail and reflect on things..
But I think I am actually more of a Pooh.. You know, all the digging into honey and stuff :p
Links to the lecture:
1) Full version - in six parts including an introduction and ending speeches but you can just watch parts 1-4 (90min or so)
2) Single version of the lecture sans intro and ending (76min)
3) Condensed version on Oprah (11min) - this is what led me to google for the original lecture
Happy holiday :)
Two Saturdays ago, we took off to KL on Aeroline - quite a comfortable ride. They had movies - watched Transformers and a bit of Tokyo Drift - and served food and hot drinks. Took us just under five hours to get to KL via Tuas. But we almost lost our bags cos we didn't realise we were supposed to take them with us at the customs!!
Anyway, we found our way to Shangri-La, checked in and went to the ballroom to check out the floor. It was big! But we didn't practise until we got ourselves some food at TGIF across the road and even then, we practised in street shoes, just walking through our routine really.
Had a grand eight-hour sleep before we went down for a quick breakfast at a cafe. When we tried to get our number, we realised that we were supposed to get that at 8am - it was past 9am already!! But luckily, Aleena got it for us already.. We were quite blur :p
Did more routine in the room and changed for some real practice in our shoes. My hair took 25 minutes to set! But it was good; not a strand came off for either tango or quickstep :p
The morning segment just ended and the floor was free. We did a few rounds to try the floor for all four dances. Spent some time swirling outside until it was time for the afternoon segment - our segment..
OUR SECOND COMPETITION!!! :p
Nerves.. The chill.. Even hunger started to creep in..
Then it was our turn.. Waltz, quickstep, tango and foxtrot, with some rest in between.. We didn't do great for any of them =( Especially tango =(
Prepared for the worst, we were surprised to see we were brought back for finals for the first three dances! Must give our best shot! Foxtrot was apparently a direct finals though there were quite a number of couples, which meant we might not be placed..
Finals for waltz and quickstep went better than the heats, but not tango, unfortunately.. And not lest cos it was right after the quickstep, which left us out of breath - I blamed the music cos I could not "feel the tango".. But anyway, we tried :) We were placed 4th for waltz, 5th for quickstep and foxtrot, and 6th for tango eventually. A fellow dancer told us that he had seen us do way better in the studio, sighs.. And of course, Shifu was like, "It could have been better!"
Anyway, time to relax! I like this picture :)
We bought standing tickets for the evening events cos the sit-down was really expensive.. Went to TGIF (again!) for a quick dinner before returning to the ballroom - in casual clothes and nice hair :p
As the evening passes, my nose turned from bad to worse and we returned to the room to rest a couple of times while the judges were tabulating scores.. But it was fun and very motivating to see the professionals dance! So beautiful - we must work harder! :)
Woke really late the next day. Nose was still bad, and I'd developed a sore throat as well..
Sito was very hardworking ok.. He was working his brain cells..
.. While I slept :p
Then I got hungry..
So we went to Shang Palace for some dim sum. That helped my throat a bit but the soreness returned to haunt me for the rest of the day whenever I had no food going down *.*
Spent a lazy afternoon just reading his Jap text while he carried on working... Still not feeling well and so cancelled dinner with Jo in case I passed the germs to little Lucian.. But we decided we should go out and headed off to this Restoran Oversea - yes, not Overseas - for what was supposedly the world's best char siew. And it was indeed good! And that coming from someone who doesn't really eat char siew, I suppose it's really good? :p
Wandered off a bit and found a shopping mall next to a monorail station. It was somewhat surreal.. And we found a couple of those old weighing machines that used to dot the old Emporium!
I got tired very soon and we went back to watch TV. Rather, I watched TV while Sito continued to work! I refused to think about my work. In fact, my head was too full with mucous to think *.*
*repeat the hotel photos here*
And the very next morning, we left. Not quite sure what to make of this trip. The competition results were a bit disappointing no doubt but it was a good experience, which I think we need. The rest of the holiday... Well, I was ill and Sito was working. A pseudo holiday then, like he said.. Time to plan for the next one! :)
There's no doubt about this - by the time I'm 50, I'm going to be flatter than pancake *.*
Read this article for why..
Separately, hope to put up some pictures later - from our weekend trip to KL..
Just finished the last one - yummy :)
I always like tu tu kueh. Sometimes I think I like the flour more than the filling - I asked for one without filling! Looks like I won't survive on any carbs-free diet...
Haven't had it for years.. Good feelings came back while eating it.. Not about anything or anyone in particular; just the simple pleasure of having a simple snack :)
Moving on to Yakult, another childhood delight :)
Really, cos the fourth generation is coming!! :) Hui is the youngest of our generation and she is already 10 this year. It is timely for more babies :) We'll have two this year - so exciting! :p Think my dear Grams must be even happier.. WT had his ROM last month too - without cutting his afro hair of course! And YQ brought his gf this year - first time after dating for some five years.
Spent the first day like last year. The cousins were chatting in the room with WT taking random pictures with his manual camera when Grams poked her head in and was forced to take a picture with me holding her arm to keep her still =D She was so shy, and felt very very soft, hee! I love this Grams of mine though she had become quite deaf since I saw her a couple of weeks ago.. I had to greet her by almost speaking into her ear. Then she did the same to me and said in my ear, "Geen ni geh zeh ho ang!" Kek?!
This year, we missed Yan - but she called from the UK in the late afternoon and spoke to us. Think I never once called back during CNY when I was away.. Oops.. Anyway.. Dear cousin, shall see you in a few months' time, and yes, with Lim Chee Guan bah kwa!!
Spent the next day very leisurely with Sito. We swam, we went grocery shopping, we cooked, we watched TV, I watched him play Final Fantasy XII. Simple yet strangely fulfilling :)
Although people didn't like to 拜年 on the third day, CY and I did anyway! JT joined us at CY's place. We snapped some pictures of ourselves before I dashed off for tea with KLK. Kok shyly shared his good news :p And credit to him, he didn't 中色轻友 and sent me to PS's house! Brownie points for you la =)
It was like last year again, but this year, ALL the kids could walk and run and laugh and play with one another! TO's daughter finally smiled at me and LH's boy hugged me (cos I gave him yummy stuff; yes, I resorted to bribery :p) - I was happy :) Had a lot of sashimi too on behalf of the three pregnant women.. We were talking baby talk etc (occupational hazard? :p) when attention turned to me..
Mrs PS: So, when is it your turn?
mf: Kek?! Not getting pregnant now lor..
The ladies: No need to get married, just have a baby! :p
Mrs PS: O_O mf: o_O
PS from across the room: What are you all trying to do to her?!
The CNY saga continued one week later when a lot more of us and a few more kids went to RQ's place, which was almost like a trip back to some 50 years ago. His place reminded me of the old clan association where my paternal grandmother was a housekeeper.. Some younger kids were especially fascinated by a vacuum cleaner robot. It looked quite fun and we were imagining WY's cat taking a free ride on it :p
Next was Sito's place. Found him playing FF so I read a magazine and fell asleep :p Slept only four hours the previous night due to work.. Went out for dinner with his family and the food was good! But poor me just couldn't eat much - I have honestly never seen such a big amount of rice left in my bowl =( Think I had only taken two mouthfuls =( I realised that I couldn't eat as much as before this year.. Didn't even snack much - must be age catching up on me ~.~
By right, I should be happy I'm not eating too much but I'm actually worried that I cannot eat much! Not to mention sad cos I love to eat *.* Yes, 女人(可以)是矛盾的 :p
So, end of CNY today.. I like CNY but it is going to be a long wait for the next one man.. But I'm also sure this year will pass very quickly, like last year, as time flies when things are busy.. Think I'll shifting into something worthy of an entry on its own... When I'm next free!
Have a great year ahead! :)
Has mf gone cuckoo?
No.. Not yet anyway :p
You see, without Skype, I won't be able to apply four different lotions on my face at night while chatting with Sito; I won't be able to apply hand lotion with one hand holding the phone (using my head and shoulder is out of the question cos of the four lotions on my face); we won't be able to play Scramble together (two hands are more efficient) etc...
And most significantly, I won't be now seeing Sito keeping a mouthful of water in his mouth for a full 20 seconds before swallowing it..! かわいいね :)
I was just thinking that I couldn't feel much CNY vibes this year when a chance presented itself this evening - I became Mother's coolie *.*
She bought a few bags of CNY goodies! And a box of mandarin oranges. For some reason, she also picked up an empty cardboard box..
"To put things!"
Hmm, o..k...
Saw pretty flowers when we passed through the wet market. So many people seem to like buying flowers for CNY but we have never done so. We only have a bouquet of fake flowers, which I made a decade or more ago..
During CNY, the supermarket had a extension outside the shop to carry all the goodies - all red and cheery!
I like 八宝豆! Actually I like only certain types of 豆 so we don't buy this; we buy big packets of specific nuts! :p
I couldn't find anything that said what all these ingots were but I guess, chocolate..?
Not far away, I found chocolate wrapped in gold foil but in the shape of 招财猫..
These are preserved squid - so gross and yet so cool at the same time! :p
(Oh, can you see my toe? :p)
年糕! (Oops, my Chinese sucks - almost typed 年高)
While I was standing at the 年糕 area waiting for Mother, I saw this kid carrying a huge box of packet drinks, looking like he was going to fall over anytime. When his mother told him to put the drinks into the shopping basket on the floor, he practically dropped the whole slab onto two cabbages.. And the mother tried to fit the drinks under the basket handles, further pushing down on the cabbages.. Pls correct me if I'm wrong but, don't fresh vegetables rot under all that weight??!
As Mother continued shopping and I continued standing there guarding our basket, the shop decided to change its CD. And I heard CNY songs in English - it was worse than the cheesiest Mandarin ones!! Well, I thought, I finally felt CNY in the air...!
We discussed about reunion dinner. Cos we no longer had an altar, Mother would not need to buy too much food to 拜拜 this year. But she said she would still buy a whole chicken since it was cheaper than to buy separate parts. Since the neighbourhood shops would not resume business until some after CNY and she would not be venturing into town where most shops would re-open by the second day, she said she would also buy lots of other food stuff to last the CNY. Guess the fridge will still be full like last time..
Sito's sister read out my 运辰 the other day - in short, I must watch my diet... But, I just had my first binge of this CNY season - Mother's pineapple tarts :p Will be eating more... Reunion dinner, lunch and dinner with Grams, a few more rounds of visiting, office lunch, and worst of all, Mother will be displaying snacks in the living room..
Man, I really need to do some aerobics now!!
It has stopped raining. Sito said it felt like an autumn day. I thought it was just, well, nice.
I have not felt like this for a while. Cool day, just bright enough with the sun peeking through the rain clouds, music from the radio drowning out the noise from outside my room. And I am relaxed; I've decided that for today, work can wait. This is too lazy an afternoon to think too much..
Suddenly remember that I need to iron my clothes. But I'm feeling so lazy today!! Maybe tonight...
In the meantime, I should really finish my book.. And perhaps, if I feel up to some walking, I'll go catch 27 Dresses :)
Really, I'm just ゴロゴロ around today...
Update: In the end, I felt too lazy to go for the movie :p
After craving for chicken briyani since that big dinner on my birthday, CY and I finally met up tonight for chicken briyani!!!
But I wasn't too hungry, and knowing her, she couldn't finish a plate :p So we shared a plate of rice and bought two fried chicken legs, AND had an egg prata each.. Oh, we had milk tea to go with the food too :) We really ate quite a bit.. But not as much as at her birthday dinner at Sushi Tei - we ate $70+ worth of food while Kel, YX and I were full at $60... It wasn't just her; it was me too :p
We are 损友 ma :)
So I gave her my Forever Friends bear. It was from my students back in 1999 when I did relief teacher for Further Maths in NJC so it was meaningful to me. I treasured it a lot but it was a very poor little thing cos it never received much love and doting from me. Since CY didn't mind the re-gift and since it was a meaningful gift to a dear friend, I gave it to her - I believe she will give Momo (named by CY) more love than I ever could!
The other day, DC was telling me how she still had her many many soft toys with her, and how her son was like her, doting on little bears and stuff. I had a lot of my soft toys with me too but I had also given a lot away. It is tough being my toys. Only Meh and Eeyore are with me now; Meh sleeps with me and Eeyore sits with me. Since Sunday, my only human-shaped doll also sits behind Eeyore, but it's not something I would hug. Oh, and Mr Bean from Sito gets some human touch once in a while when I need to put a CD in my iMac. I still had a box of toys stowed away at the top of my wardrobe. Even my toys in my office get more attention - at least I would touch Frog Prince and wonder when I would kiss him, if ever, and at least the multi-colour sheep from CY last year gets a little pat from me every so often. My box of toys must be very sad - I should give them all away soon...
To carry on the food story, I had Boon Tong Kee for lunch. I saw a bit of water on the seat and since LH and I didn't have tissue, I just sat down anyway though she told me to go get some from the stall - I didn't cos I was lazy and it was just water.. But no, five hours later, I found two dots of dark spots on my pink skirt, right in the middle of the back of my skirt - soy sauce!!! So I had been walking around looking like I had period stains =( I had to shift my skirt 90 degrees anti-clockwise to move the stain to the side. Then I went into LH's room and pouted :p
Thou shalt not be lazy!
But I usually am not lazy. Yesterday I spent the whole day - sans a few hours when I went dancing - cleaning up my room. I took down my curtains for washing, cleaned my desk, dusted my stuff and changed my bedsheets. When I came home from dancing, I put up the curtains again, tidied my desk, cleaned out (part of) my wardrobe, dusted my drawers under my bed and ironed my clothes, all the time sneezing and sniffing my nose due to the dust. Oh, btw, I received a letter informing me that I was in the control group for the immunotherapy clinical trial, i.e. I had nothing but placebo for a year! Sighs, how unlucky.. So my allergy rhinitis remains.. Had to take Panadol flu to check the symptoms but I still didn't feel too good most of today..
CNY is on the way now. Was in Chinatown with Sito on Saturday and it was so crowded! We walked a bit and guess what we bought? Turkish kebab - in Chinatown! *.* But not bad, was yummy :p I'm quite afraid I would overeat this CNY cos I don't want to get fat!! Then again, I haven't been feeling hungry easily these days - hope I could keep it up and keep the fats away this CNY. Drink more tea! :)
Still feeling quite full from dinner even though CY and I walked it off a bit on the way home - guess not enough walking :p But it was a good walk, sprinkled with anecdotes from the past and a whole lot of stuff that would probably make some people cringe so I shall stop here and go to bed - I'm getting rather excited about going to work cos I think it's going to be a perfect day to start work on my next big thing tomorrow!
Some days ago, Sito pointed out the new voice on the North South Line. Then one day, I heard a rather long announcement in that new voice informing everyone about the tunnel TV between Newton and Orchard. It was so bad that I almost wrote in to complain feedback!
The voice itself was pleasant, but the intonation was a torture on my ears. There was no discernable accent but I wondered if it was perhaps not the Singapore version of accented English, as opposed to Singlish (an amalgamation of available - really! - languages)? As in, what (some) people would consider to be good English?
God bless the day all our kids talk like that.. Time to pack my bags for the Midlands.
Anyway, on English, just want to record my distaste for people who pop by some English-speaking country as part of a whirlwind tour and come back with an (often odd) accent.. Or some kid who studies overseas for a few years and returns speaking like QEII.. Unless of course, the kid has been there since really young - and I really do mean young.. Colleague who studied in NZ since he was 13 didn't come back sounding like an ang moh. There.
Oh, but who am I to criticise these people when poor old mf couldn't even pronounce "probably" and "oligopolistic" without knotting my tongue? And just how do you say "haute couture"?! :p
But I can do "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" =)
For other words, well, there is Sito! :p
I guess that qualifies me to be in the late 20s...
Happened to look down at my hands yesterday. I have slender wrists - I like. Having nothing better to do on the train, I started to inspect my hands. And I saw things I didn't like as much.
In a nutshell, I am my physical shell is ageing *.*
My hands are dry and wrinkly. I'm getting fat the past few months - a sign of my metabolic rate slowing down?! My bum also seems to be sagging o_O And my signature good complexion is no longer perfect.. My eyes are lined too, age and too many years of knitting the centre of my face together when I laugh - oh but laughter is a good thing so keep that coming =) (and darn the wrinkles?)
I used to think it odd that when we were young, we couldn't wait to grow up and when we did, we couldn't help but try to stop the growing-up because I quite look forward to turning 30 - I'm excited about where I will be, what I will be doing. But I forget that though the heart is willing, the body is but a frail thing that just cannot be as enthusiastic. Now I understand more why some of my friends 怕老.
A bit sad, I guess. Maybe that's why I have been splurging a bit on my face in the past year. I graduated (a little) from $3 facial foam to, well, alternating $3 facial foam with cleansing milk from Amore. I also have a good detoxifying mask and a good scrub.. From Hazeline Snow moisturiser, I switched to Biotherm Aquasource. The worst was when I realised I needed a foundation to even out my skin tone some time in August.. Sighs..
与其唉声叹气（并增添皱纹！浪费青春！），不如勇敢正视年华开始老去，看开一点，把握现在吧！嘻，靠科技，我还可以虚荣地以数码把年轻化为永恒！
That was taken on the Sky Ride in Sentosa yesterday. Sito and I had to watch our feet to make sure we didn't drop our slippers! :p
We started at the Underwater World - touched a starfish, let innocent fish swim by our stationery hand, one silly fish even nibbled at my finger! I liked bright yellow fish. The sea dragons were pretty too.. There was one fish with Angelina Jolie's lips - plus botox! Some crabs were cute; some scary.. And the jelly fish just went bloop-bloop.. But the sea creatures were mostly grey and ugly.. And I told them exactly that as we went by: You're ugly *.*
The tickets allowed entry to the Dolphin Lagoon but we were too early for the show so we went to the Luge - can you see the Luge stamp on Sito's hand in above picture? Luge was really fun!! =)
Made it back in time for the dolphin show - the dolphins were pink and made cute little sounds. While the show was enjoyable, I couldn't help but wonder if the dolphins were happy performing.. Especially the oldest of the four dolphin - it was quite fat! Think it must be tough for it to spin in the air *.*
I had a surprise dinner - Sito had arranged for dinner in a cable car :) So we left Sentosa on cable car to Mt Faber where the dinner started with a soup and salad. We were sent to Sentosa and back for the main course, and again sent to Sentosa and back for the dessert and my lovely birthday cake before another trip to Sentosa.. Effectively we went to Sentosa four times yesterday! We were so full at the end of it, yummy! Thank you, Dear - it was great fun =)
Had a couple more celebrations earlier in the week. Met Na on Tuesday, when I took a day off. We had chocolate fondue - very nice and sinful, oooh... Then we went shopping. She bought a flat (:p) pillow and I, a tiny black skirt - I love tiny black skirts :p Na helped me get a discount - thanks! :)
Then it was dinner with CY - a lot of Jap food.. And then it was supper with CY.. While queueing for a drink, we thought toast with eggs would go well with tea. As we waited, our order changed to toast and roti prata with tea instead - every step getting more sinful!! But well, it was good :p Thanks for the bracelet watch, 损友 - I'm wearing it tomorrow! :) And remember, we have to have nasi briyani next time!!
We had a little office celebration on Friday too for the four January babies. Had quite a bit of cake before going for the D&D. Wonder why they call it D&D when the second D obviously doesn't exist... It was not exactly something I would go to had I a choice - never mind that it was compulsory yet not subsidised, there was no liquor - not even beer! We were made to sit through table games and a weird show, which were really better endured intoxicated *.* And it was the same host as last year, who repeated his jokes and games.. The only redeeming factor was sitting next to Shobi and commenting on people's boobs :p And it was fun at the KTV after that. though I ditched them for supper with Sito after a few songs, oops...
Guess that's about it, the celebration of my ageing (D&D aside; just a casual mention :p) - but if this year goes the same as last year, I'll be 29 in no time!!! Yeah!!! :)
Update 20 Jan 2008:
Went out for dinner and drinks with Kel, YX and Moh on Friday, they and WX got me a bottle of SKII miracle water.
"We want to see if it really creates a miracle!"
Grrr! But ok, I am thankful :)
