Yan and I dreamt of Grams today within hours of each other. I think Grams will continue to be a quiet presence in our lives even though she is gone.
I suddenly remembered a nursery rhyme and googled for it. Then I realised that I'd never heard the tune before, just the spoken words and only the first line!
摇啊摇，摇到外婆桥!
Apparently there are many versions. One is here:
http://xs.haoting.com/shaoer/230.wma
Friday, 10 September 2010
Thursday, 2 September 2010
Bye, Ahmah..
Received news this evening that our dear Grams passed away on Friday, 3 Sep, 3.17 am (Singapore time).
In early March, she had a stroke in her afternoon nap. Her left arm and leg were paralysed, and she could not talk and had to be fed through a tube. After acupuncture, she could move both limbs a little. But she cried often.
Some said that the stroke had damaged her brain and she could not recognise anyone anymore and was behaving like a baby. But I don't think so. She had been quite hard of hearing so she might not have heard anything we said. She would use a comb on her white wispy hair cos she had always been a neat person. She would also beat her chest and cry, especially after trying but failing to talk.
I think she was afraid. More than that, I think she was frustrated at her state. She might not understand what happened to her but she must be suffering the pain of being trapped inside a broken body.
The Saturday before we left Singapore, I went to find Grams to tell her that I was leaving, to tell her to be strong. I practically shouted into her ears in the hope of being heard. Mother told me to stay put even if anything should happen to Grams in these two years. The fear of not being able to see her again was very real given her condition and age. I just didn't expect it to be so soon.
Heard that she had some infection on Wednesday and wasn't well. But she was quiet and did not cry, which was unusual. Most of the family went over on Thursday night and was with her when she breathed her last. I hope she did not have to suffer in her last hours more than she already did in the past few months.
My initial zen-ness about her leaving her suffering behind gave way to tears as I recalled bits about her. She would get us breakfast from the market when we stayed over. She was always offering Milo or kopi, and urging us to eat more. She sat by me quietly while I studied for my "A" levels, and she was a source of support when my parents divorced. She would have junk food for her birthday celebration cos she wanted food that the kids loved. She was a kind mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother. Everyone loves her.
Now, I've come to terms that Grams should be at greater peace than ever. She must be happy to reach the end of her suffering and to be reunited with Gramps.. We should be happy for her.
Just that, I wish I were there when she left..
空闻: 佛家行法，乃在求生人心之所安，超度的乃是活人。(倚天屠龙记, 第40回)
Bye Ahmah, be happy! And we will be too!
Grams laughing, at her birthday celebration, 16 Oct 2005
With lots of tears and memories,
A granddaughter who could not be there
Update 7 Sep 2010
ML started a facebook group called "My Cute Grandma Group" in memory of dear Grams :) We posted photos and events! Unfortunately, I won't be able to attend any until end of the year..
Also learnt that her lunar birthday was the 29th day of the 9th month - Grams was born in the year of the pig - and her gregorian birthday was 28 Oct 1923 - so now we're finally sure of her age!
In early March, she had a stroke in her afternoon nap. Her left arm and leg were paralysed, and she could not talk and had to be fed through a tube. After acupuncture, she could move both limbs a little. But she cried often.
Some said that the stroke had damaged her brain and she could not recognise anyone anymore and was behaving like a baby. But I don't think so. She had been quite hard of hearing so she might not have heard anything we said. She would use a comb on her white wispy hair cos she had always been a neat person. She would also beat her chest and cry, especially after trying but failing to talk.
I think she was afraid. More than that, I think she was frustrated at her state. She might not understand what happened to her but she must be suffering the pain of being trapped inside a broken body.
The Saturday before we left Singapore, I went to find Grams to tell her that I was leaving, to tell her to be strong. I practically shouted into her ears in the hope of being heard. Mother told me to stay put even if anything should happen to Grams in these two years. The fear of not being able to see her again was very real given her condition and age. I just didn't expect it to be so soon.
Heard that she had some infection on Wednesday and wasn't well. But she was quiet and did not cry, which was unusual. Most of the family went over on Thursday night and was with her when she breathed her last. I hope she did not have to suffer in her last hours more than she already did in the past few months.
My initial zen-ness about her leaving her suffering behind gave way to tears as I recalled bits about her. She would get us breakfast from the market when we stayed over. She was always offering Milo or kopi, and urging us to eat more. She sat by me quietly while I studied for my "A" levels, and she was a source of support when my parents divorced. She would have junk food for her birthday celebration cos she wanted food that the kids loved. She was a kind mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother. Everyone loves her.
Now, I've come to terms that Grams should be at greater peace than ever. She must be happy to reach the end of her suffering and to be reunited with Gramps.. We should be happy for her.
Just that, I wish I were there when she left..
空闻: 佛家行法，乃在求生人心之所安，超度的乃是活人。(倚天屠龙记, 第40回)
Bye Ahmah, be happy! And we will be too!
Grams laughing, at her birthday celebration, 16 Oct 2005
With lots of tears and memories,
A granddaughter who could not be there
Update 7 Sep 2010
ML started a facebook group called "My Cute Grandma Group" in memory of dear Grams :) We posted photos and events! Unfortunately, I won't be able to attend any until end of the year..
Also learnt that her lunar birthday was the 29th day of the 9th month - Grams was born in the year of the pig - and her gregorian birthday was 28 Oct 1923 - so now we're finally sure of her age!
Monday, 30 August 2010
New home :)
Second new home in nine months!
18 Aug, Wednesday
So we arrived on the morning of 18 Aug 2010 after a long flight via Narita - I would love to say Tokyo but unfortunately we never left the transit area... Found a cool system at the airport that allowed us to pick up a receiver to talk to a cab operator, and soon, we were on the way to Evanston!
It took only 30 min at most. We alighted opposite the Hilton to see this: McManus, our new home!
We got our keys and found our room - 516. It was fully furnished but of course we still had to get stuff like bedsheets, appliances, and even a landline phone to use the already activated line. We got online to find out some basic info - the wireless worked like a charm! And I could use it anywhere on campus - woohoo! No need for data plan! :)
My priority was to get bedsheets - else I couldn't sleep! But before that, the bank. And before that, to get Sito's student ID. And before that, we had our first meal in Evanston - BK!! It was right outside our place :p Not the best, I know but we were hungry and new! :p
With the ID, we can go to the bank. Apparently, it was really easy to get Citi Gold here but for some reason, Sito's ATM card had a mistake. My card for the moment :)
After that, I think, we checked in with the international student office and went to the health centre to make an appointment to do a health test.
Next was to get bedsheets!! After checking out a local store, it seemed that our best bet would be to take a ride out to a shopping mall named Old Orchard (and apparently now renamed to something else but I don't remember!) - we were lucky that there were some discounts going on and spent only some $300 on bedsheets, pillows, duvet and covers. Well, could be worse..
Dinner was um, Subway - haha! Slightly healthier than BK... Got some essentials at a convenient store and went home.. And when we eventually went to bed, we decided that the bedsheets and duvet etc were so worth it :)
19 Aug, Thursday
Woke hungry. And found that we had no cup for our milk! *.*
This was the day when we MUST buy the rest of our essentials. We learnt the day before that the round trip to Ikea cost too much at $100 (!) so we went to Target instead. What should be a short walk from the bus stop turned out to be a long long walk cos somehow, google map was wrong!!!
Luckily we had Macs for lunch - oops, another unhealthy choice :p
Anyway, spent some two hours walking the entire store, getting pots and pans, rubbish bin, phone, rice cooker, cleaning stuff etc.. We had to a cab back but yes, it was so worth it! We felt so much settled after that. And, it was great fun setting up home even though it was tiring :)
Met another Singaporean at his house after that and we had dinner with him and another guy at Koi, an Asian fusion kind of place. We ordered too much - I've never seen a bigger plate of sweet and sour chicken!
We bought cereals on the way home. Americans don't seem to eat much muesli - I am sad =(
20 Aug, Friday
So we had utensils for breakfast - or brunch :)
We headed for T-mobile to get local mobile lines. The guy was so helpful. And funny too - he said he would see me again cos I would want to change my prepaid plan to postpaid :p Well, so far so good, we shall see :)
We had lunch at BK - again! - before Sito went for some tech check while I went to buy a night moisturiser cos my face was drying up *.* The weather was like Sg weather - hot and sunny - but dry. In fact, the highest temperature reached was higher than that in Sg!
Went to a pre-KWEST BBQ dinner that evening - more on this in later post...
29 Aug, Sunday
Couldn't sleep in although we just got back from KWEST the night before cos of iCIM - international CIM! Ok, so I don't know what CIM stands for, but it's some orientation thing :p More on CIM later..
We did two loads of laundry in the morning and headed out for iCIM. Had coffee with a guy from Malaysia before getting some groceries - cooking dinner at last! A simple one though :)
PS: I boiled the sausages to cook it first - and to get some oil out! :p
30 Aug, Monday
Today marks the start of CIM. I had some time in the afternoon to iron all our clothes!! Finally cleared the mess of clothes on the top of our drawers! Finally took pictures!! :)
First of all, the label at our door had a typo in Sito's name, so he changed it, quite drastically, to include me :)
This is the entrance to our room - a sofa on the left for our bags and the bookshelf to the right:
These show the living room from the door and the bookshelf. Sito works at the desk while I use the dining table for both leisure and ironing clothes on our mini ironing board :)
Kitchen! Can do with a dish holder though...
We have a big rice cooker that can take like 10-14 cups - bought it cos it was cheaper than the rice cooker for six cups :p
A corridor leads us into the living room, via a huge wardrobe that's only one of three - yeah!!
And this is our bedroom - it's bigger than our first at HV! Think we can fit another queen bed next to our king...
Finally, our very important bathroom!
18 Aug, Wednesday
So we arrived on the morning of 18 Aug 2010 after a long flight via Narita - I would love to say Tokyo but unfortunately we never left the transit area... Found a cool system at the airport that allowed us to pick up a receiver to talk to a cab operator, and soon, we were on the way to Evanston!
It took only 30 min at most. We alighted opposite the Hilton to see this: McManus, our new home!
We got our keys and found our room - 516. It was fully furnished but of course we still had to get stuff like bedsheets, appliances, and even a landline phone to use the already activated line. We got online to find out some basic info - the wireless worked like a charm! And I could use it anywhere on campus - woohoo! No need for data plan! :)
My priority was to get bedsheets - else I couldn't sleep! But before that, the bank. And before that, to get Sito's student ID. And before that, we had our first meal in Evanston - BK!! It was right outside our place :p Not the best, I know but we were hungry and new! :p
With the ID, we can go to the bank. Apparently, it was really easy to get Citi Gold here but for some reason, Sito's ATM card had a mistake. My card for the moment :)
After that, I think, we checked in with the international student office and went to the health centre to make an appointment to do a health test.
Next was to get bedsheets!! After checking out a local store, it seemed that our best bet would be to take a ride out to a shopping mall named Old Orchard (and apparently now renamed to something else but I don't remember!) - we were lucky that there were some discounts going on and spent only some $300 on bedsheets, pillows, duvet and covers. Well, could be worse..
Dinner was um, Subway - haha! Slightly healthier than BK... Got some essentials at a convenient store and went home.. And when we eventually went to bed, we decided that the bedsheets and duvet etc were so worth it :)
19 Aug, Thursday
Woke hungry. And found that we had no cup for our milk! *.*
This was the day when we MUST buy the rest of our essentials. We learnt the day before that the round trip to Ikea cost too much at $100 (!) so we went to Target instead. What should be a short walk from the bus stop turned out to be a long long walk cos somehow, google map was wrong!!!
Luckily we had Macs for lunch - oops, another unhealthy choice :p
Anyway, spent some two hours walking the entire store, getting pots and pans, rubbish bin, phone, rice cooker, cleaning stuff etc.. We had to a cab back but yes, it was so worth it! We felt so much settled after that. And, it was great fun setting up home even though it was tiring :)
Met another Singaporean at his house after that and we had dinner with him and another guy at Koi, an Asian fusion kind of place. We ordered too much - I've never seen a bigger plate of sweet and sour chicken!
We bought cereals on the way home. Americans don't seem to eat much muesli - I am sad =(
20 Aug, Friday
So we had utensils for breakfast - or brunch :)
We headed for T-mobile to get local mobile lines. The guy was so helpful. And funny too - he said he would see me again cos I would want to change my prepaid plan to postpaid :p Well, so far so good, we shall see :)
We had lunch at BK - again! - before Sito went for some tech check while I went to buy a night moisturiser cos my face was drying up *.* The weather was like Sg weather - hot and sunny - but dry. In fact, the highest temperature reached was higher than that in Sg!
Went to a pre-KWEST BBQ dinner that evening - more on this in later post...
29 Aug, Sunday
Couldn't sleep in although we just got back from KWEST the night before cos of iCIM - international CIM! Ok, so I don't know what CIM stands for, but it's some orientation thing :p More on CIM later..
We did two loads of laundry in the morning and headed out for iCIM. Had coffee with a guy from Malaysia before getting some groceries - cooking dinner at last! A simple one though :)
PS: I boiled the sausages to cook it first - and to get some oil out! :p
30 Aug, Monday
Today marks the start of CIM. I had some time in the afternoon to iron all our clothes!! Finally cleared the mess of clothes on the top of our drawers! Finally took pictures!! :)
First of all, the label at our door had a typo in Sito's name, so he changed it, quite drastically, to include me :)
This is the entrance to our room - a sofa on the left for our bags and the bookshelf to the right:
These show the living room from the door and the bookshelf. Sito works at the desk while I use the dining table for both leisure and ironing clothes on our mini ironing board :)
Kitchen! Can do with a dish holder though...
We have a big rice cooker that can take like 10-14 cups - bought it cos it was cheaper than the rice cooker for six cups :p
A corridor leads us into the living room, via a huge wardrobe that's only one of three - yeah!!
And this is our bedroom - it's bigger than our first at HV! Think we can fit another queen bed next to our king...
Finally, our very important bathroom!
Monday, 16 August 2010
A mini farewell note
This time tomorrow, we'll be at the airport.
We will be gone for two years, though I'll probably be back more than once in between. Yet, many friends have been so nice to us with all the little farewell gatherings :)
Just came home from Mum's place, and that was really for the last time since it would be sold by next month. We had some good memories at Varsity Park :)
Now that we are at the cusp of our upcoming journey, with things mostly packed, I suddenly feel..complicated...
I'll miss girly chats with CY and Yan. I'll miss prata nights with KLK. I'll miss our little flat. Hell, I'll even miss being in the loop of work (!) but not work of course :p
Luckily I have Sito with me :) For the rest, there's Facebook! See you again soon...
We will be gone for two years, though I'll probably be back more than once in between. Yet, many friends have been so nice to us with all the little farewell gatherings :)
Just came home from Mum's place, and that was really for the last time since it would be sold by next month. We had some good memories at Varsity Park :)
Now that we are at the cusp of our upcoming journey, with things mostly packed, I suddenly feel..complicated...
I'll miss girly chats with CY and Yan. I'll miss prata nights with KLK. I'll miss our little flat. Hell, I'll even miss being in the loop of work (!) but not work of course :p
Luckily I have Sito with me :) For the rest, there's Facebook! See you again soon...
Thursday, 22 July 2010
Random things that happened to me
They just do!!
1) If you call me an idiot for giving myself a bruise because I just had to get pepper out of its bottle by whacking it on my thigh next to an existing one (god knows from where!), I guess you're right!
2) Sito, ill as he is, had to chim me out with "asinine" - not referring to me of course...
3) I brought this cheong sam-like dress to class to cut it up for material making - need velvet as one of our fabrics. Bought it in Paris back in 1999 and wore it only once! Was considering changing into it after our wedding dance but Na said I looked like a waitress *.* Or did I say that? :p Anyway, when I got home, I found the remaining length just nice for a short dress! I like :) Gonna hem it and wear to it...Kel's and D's wedding? Congrats!!! :))
4) So I brought the dress to office yesterday, wanting to drop it off at a seamstress nearby. But I was running late for an appointment and thought I would leave it in the office and bring it to her another day. As I left the office, I opened my bag to take my phone and found the dress with me *.*
5) And as I walked towards the MRT station, I felt strange and looking down, saw that I was wearing my office shoes! Argh!
1) If you call me an idiot for giving myself a bruise because I just had to get pepper out of its bottle by whacking it on my thigh next to an existing one (god knows from where!), I guess you're right!
2) Sito, ill as he is, had to chim me out with "asinine" - not referring to me of course...
3) I brought this cheong sam-like dress to class to cut it up for material making - need velvet as one of our fabrics. Bought it in Paris back in 1999 and wore it only once! Was considering changing into it after our wedding dance but Na said I looked like a waitress *.* Or did I say that? :p Anyway, when I got home, I found the remaining length just nice for a short dress! I like :) Gonna hem it and wear to it...Kel's and D's wedding? Congrats!!! :))
4) So I brought the dress to office yesterday, wanting to drop it off at a seamstress nearby. But I was running late for an appointment and thought I would leave it in the office and bring it to her another day. As I left the office, I opened my bag to take my phone and found the dress with me *.*
5) And as I walked towards the MRT station, I felt strange and looking down, saw that I was wearing my office shoes! Argh!
Thursday, 8 July 2010
mf, reborn 6.30 pm on 9 Jul 2010
It's a bit surreal, now that I'm only some 20 hours away from freedom..
It's been some six years and eight months. I started out as a blank piece of paper. Somewhere along the way, I was half-filled with words, neatly. Now, at the end of this journey, I remain half-filled but with messy words scribbled between the neat lines.
Just glad that very soon, I'll leave the realm of feeling stupid every day and start to feel better about myself again.
Got to do my homework now.. Hope to expand on this another day...
Anyway, on this day, before my last day, three of us showed up in bright pink! Photo taken with my Pinky II :)
It's been some six years and eight months. I started out as a blank piece of paper. Somewhere along the way, I was half-filled with words, neatly. Now, at the end of this journey, I remain half-filled but with messy words scribbled between the neat lines.
Just glad that very soon, I'll leave the realm of feeling stupid every day and start to feel better about myself again.
Got to do my homework now.. Hope to expand on this another day...
Anyway, on this day, before my last day, three of us showed up in bright pink! Photo taken with my Pinky II :)
Thursday, 24 June 2010
Showing off my spoils :))
Was waiting at the bus stop and happened to stare straight ahead - into a cockroach bigger than my head! Surely, it must be illegal for advertisements to scare people like that!!
Other than that, it was a lovely day :)
Woke at 7am for some reason and waited for the alarm clock.. Switched on my laptop and did a little work while Sito prepared for work. At one point, he laughed. Apparently, he just said something to me while I was staring intently at my laptop screen - and I didn't hear him at all! See, that's what work does to us *.*
Anyway, after sending him off to work (with my eyes :p), I got down to some serious ironing while watching a Chinese drama I borrowed from boss - had Sito's permission to watch it alone cos he got hooked on to that show too! First time that he's watching a drama with me :) Not the cute type but very nice so far, check it out.. The English link is here.
Finally got out just before noon. Went shopping!!! Look at my spoils *proud*
.jpg)
Isetan Scotts:
a) sweatshirt - makes me look boobier :p $19
b) long top, or a short dress - cos it's bright pink! :D $29
c) frilly floral dress - makes me cute :) $69
This leg ended with six tako balls without tako - had scallops instead cos it was Hokkadio fair!
Far East: Haven't been there for ages until last weekend when Sito and I took a quick walk while whiling time before dinner.. Today, I really 淘到宝!
d) another floral dress at $22 - one third the price of (c)!
e) and (d) comes with a belt! - quite worth it, right??
f) found an amazing shop with things like fake eyelash applicator! - holds the furries in place while you apply glue and stick to your eyelids - can't wait to try! $10.90
g) princess hair tool! - um, volumise the top of my crown? $7.90
h) and of course, two boxes of fake eyelashes! Size 4 and 7. Size 4 is longer.. Hmmm... $38
i) comfy jeans - since I'll probably be living in jeans for the next two years! $35.90
j) pretty hairband! $5
k) brooches - work as hairclips too! Three for $5
Left Far East for Heeren..
l) pyjamas, under which are some three or four bras and five pairs of panties at super low prices cos shop is closing down *.* $48.90
Then I bought movie tickets for Saturday, redeemed a voucher at 313 and bought groceries (in the fridge!) before coming home :)
Oh, let's be complete:
m) the base of our fan :p
n) battery for weighing machine :p
Oh yeah, I'm feeling happy :)
Other than that, it was a lovely day :)
Woke at 7am for some reason and waited for the alarm clock.. Switched on my laptop and did a little work while Sito prepared for work. At one point, he laughed. Apparently, he just said something to me while I was staring intently at my laptop screen - and I didn't hear him at all! See, that's what work does to us *.*
Anyway, after sending him off to work (with my eyes :p), I got down to some serious ironing while watching a Chinese drama I borrowed from boss - had Sito's permission to watch it alone cos he got hooked on to that show too! First time that he's watching a drama with me :) Not the cute type but very nice so far, check it out.. The English link is here.
Finally got out just before noon. Went shopping!!! Look at my spoils *proud*
.jpg)
Isetan Scotts:
a) sweatshirt - makes me look boobier :p $19
b) long top, or a short dress - cos it's bright pink! :D $29
c) frilly floral dress - makes me cute :) $69
This leg ended with six tako balls without tako - had scallops instead cos it was Hokkadio fair!
Far East: Haven't been there for ages until last weekend when Sito and I took a quick walk while whiling time before dinner.. Today, I really 淘到宝!
d) another floral dress at $22 - one third the price of (c)!
e) and (d) comes with a belt! - quite worth it, right??
f) found an amazing shop with things like fake eyelash applicator! - holds the furries in place while you apply glue and stick to your eyelids - can't wait to try! $10.90
g) princess hair tool! - um, volumise the top of my crown? $7.90
h) and of course, two boxes of fake eyelashes! Size 4 and 7. Size 4 is longer.. Hmmm... $38
i) comfy jeans - since I'll probably be living in jeans for the next two years! $35.90
j) pretty hairband! $5
k) brooches - work as hairclips too! Three for $5
Left Far East for Heeren..
l) pyjamas, under which are some three or four bras and five pairs of panties at super low prices cos shop is closing down *.* $48.90
Then I bought movie tickets for Saturday, redeemed a voucher at 313 and bought groceries (in the fridge!) before coming home :)
Oh, let's be complete:
m) the base of our fan :p
n) battery for weighing machine :p
Oh yeah, I'm feeling happy :)
Monday, 14 June 2010
Excitement is building up!
We're going away in August! Sito will be doing a two-year MBA at Kellogg starting this fall :) And I'm following! :))
We have obtained accommodation, applied for visa, and... I think that's about it so far :p Still loads to be done... We're getting things done slowly, one at a time..
Getting rather excited about this.. Just a pity that we haven't really spent time in our nice neighbourhood - like having supper at Crystal Jade at 2am, brunching at this place whose name I can't remember, eat at one of those little eateries and restaurants nearby.. Eh? All food? Heh...
And I'll be clearing leave from mid July before going on no-pay leave - it's :( at no-pay and :)) at leave! Now I'm a little stressed over the hand-over for work.. It's a mega hand-over... Shall fret about it at work, not at home :)
Will have finished my Montessori coursework by then - accelerating it by taking on Saturday classes as well - siong! Then I'll defer my exams to December so I'll be back in a bit :p That means I'll need to study while Sito studies :) After exams, I'll watch more stuff on youtube hohohoho! Bored? Never! :))
We have obtained accommodation, applied for visa, and... I think that's about it so far :p Still loads to be done... We're getting things done slowly, one at a time..
Getting rather excited about this.. Just a pity that we haven't really spent time in our nice neighbourhood - like having supper at Crystal Jade at 2am, brunching at this place whose name I can't remember, eat at one of those little eateries and restaurants nearby.. Eh? All food? Heh...
And I'll be clearing leave from mid July before going on no-pay leave - it's :( at no-pay and :)) at leave! Now I'm a little stressed over the hand-over for work.. It's a mega hand-over... Shall fret about it at work, not at home :)
Will have finished my Montessori coursework by then - accelerating it by taking on Saturday classes as well - siong! Then I'll defer my exams to December so I'll be back in a bit :p That means I'll need to study while Sito studies :) After exams, I'll watch more stuff on youtube hohohoho! Bored? Never! :))
Friday, 11 June 2010
Dreamily, mf lives
I'm listening to a fun song now - and feeling happy!
I guess I'm luckier than most, in that I become happy easily.
Sure, the toils and turmoils of work and life get to me sometimes, some people have a greater effect on me than others, and there are bad hair or whatever days. But I just need a little something, say a comforting gesture or a lazy afternoon, to get me going again. In this case, it's my medical leave and happy songs! Let's skip the medical leave next time, pls.....
I wonder if I have always been like this. From the bits and pieces I remember of my early childhood and from old photos, I was one happy little girl, who didn't even cry when left alone in kindergarten.
From there, I remember everything by school years - :) in primary school, =( in secondary school, :)) in JC, =)) in university - largely because there was a lot of unhappiness outside of school, terrible days when I had to endure all the quarreling and the screaming too... That kind of puts a lot of things into perspective.
But while I say that my schools, especially JC and university, have moulded the mf today, I cannot ignore the fact that my family may have an even greater effect on me - it made me realise that it is most important to be happy :)
And so, I have been rather 看得开, and I don't try to control things I cannot control, which interestingly has also led me to try to control everything controllable - take a peek at how I organise my music and pictures :p (less organised now but I'm trying!)
I also like to take things easy, take the time to smell the pretty flowers, gaze at clear blue skies and play with the lovely sheep (plural now).
Just thinking about what SY and XY said a long time ago* and I realise the stark difference between the two of them and mf: they seem to think life boring without work while I envy them! Psst, do you still think so? :)
*Can't remember when - I drafted this a long time ago!
Sito is another one - must work! Good la, at least one of us should be hardworking :p
Honestly, I could appreciate the need to work when work is exciting.. My job can be exciting and satisfying but tiring. In fact, lately, there isn't much excitement! And there isn't much time either! Perhaps cos of my part-time diploma too... Who am I kidding.. Yes, my part-time course is taking away a lot of leisure time!
I really want to have the time to do things I want to do and gaze at blue skies and sleeping cats. Some guy once said that only those who could not afford it would enjoy idling the most. I couldn't agree more!
But I shall be zen about it, just take things as they come. After all, I still want to live on dreamily..
I guess I'm luckier than most, in that I become happy easily.
Sure, the toils and turmoils of work and life get to me sometimes, some people have a greater effect on me than others, and there are bad hair or whatever days. But I just need a little something, say a comforting gesture or a lazy afternoon, to get me going again. In this case, it's my medical leave and happy songs! Let's skip the medical leave next time, pls.....
I wonder if I have always been like this. From the bits and pieces I remember of my early childhood and from old photos, I was one happy little girl, who didn't even cry when left alone in kindergarten.
From there, I remember everything by school years - :) in primary school, =( in secondary school, :)) in JC, =)) in university - largely because there was a lot of unhappiness outside of school, terrible days when I had to endure all the quarreling and the screaming too... That kind of puts a lot of things into perspective.
But while I say that my schools, especially JC and university, have moulded the mf today, I cannot ignore the fact that my family may have an even greater effect on me - it made me realise that it is most important to be happy :)
And so, I have been rather 看得开, and I don't try to control things I cannot control, which interestingly has also led me to try to control everything controllable - take a peek at how I organise my music and pictures :p (less organised now but I'm trying!)
I also like to take things easy, take the time to smell the pretty flowers, gaze at clear blue skies and play with the lovely sheep (plural now).
Just thinking about what SY and XY said a long time ago* and I realise the stark difference between the two of them and mf: they seem to think life boring without work while I envy them! Psst, do you still think so? :)
*Can't remember when - I drafted this a long time ago!
Sito is another one - must work! Good la, at least one of us should be hardworking :p
Honestly, I could appreciate the need to work when work is exciting.. My job can be exciting and satisfying but tiring. In fact, lately, there isn't much excitement! And there isn't much time either! Perhaps cos of my part-time diploma too... Who am I kidding.. Yes, my part-time course is taking away a lot of leisure time!
I really want to have the time to do things I want to do and gaze at blue skies and sleeping cats. Some guy once said that only those who could not afford it would enjoy idling the most. I couldn't agree more!
But I shall be zen about it, just take things as they come. After all, I still want to live on dreamily..
mf is on medical leave today
Had a minor surgical procedure this morning. Was a bit nervous but Sito was with me :)
Nurse said that Sito would have to wait outside but she would bring him in when the procedure was over.
So I laid down on something that looked like a dentist chair, and read 8days from February - I haven't read that for years! Like, more than a decade! (Read a scanned article last month but that was work :p)
Then, I was given an injection on the back of my hand. The last thing I remember was shifting my butt to a more comfortable position with the nurse helping me.
Then I was in some forgettable dream.
Then I woke. Very suddenly. In a bed in another room.
Sito came to me and I realised that it was over. Oh.
My legs were wobbly at first but hunger proved more powerful - had to fast - and powered my journey to the coffee shop for an early lunch :) We slept most of the afternoon away :)
And now, I'm up! Cooked udon for dinner - the joys of a fridge full of frozen food! Never need to go downstairs when I don't need to :)
Nurse said that Sito would have to wait outside but she would bring him in when the procedure was over.
So I laid down on something that looked like a dentist chair, and read 8days from February - I haven't read that for years! Like, more than a decade! (Read a scanned article last month but that was work :p)
Then, I was given an injection on the back of my hand. The last thing I remember was shifting my butt to a more comfortable position with the nurse helping me.
Then I was in some forgettable dream.
Then I woke. Very suddenly. In a bed in another room.
Sito came to me and I realised that it was over. Oh.
My legs were wobbly at first but hunger proved more powerful - had to fast - and powered my journey to the coffee shop for an early lunch :) We slept most of the afternoon away :)
And now, I'm up! Cooked udon for dinner - the joys of a fridge full of frozen food! Never need to go downstairs when I don't need to :)
Thursday, 10 June 2010
Trends
Three data points make a trend, as exemplified by the following sms exchange with Kel. Or D.
Kel: D says: I discovered a trend! Kok siong likes girls whose name starts with 'M'. M******* to M*** to M****i! I think he likes/liked mf too!
mf: Oh, right... I discover a trend too - I've always been with guys whose name has a k. I think I liked Kok AND YOU too!! :)
And since we're on trends, let's talk maths..
mf emailed Kel one day:
i find myself procrastinating starting on a piece of work that requires number crunching....
which led me to think: why did i choose maths???!
Kel:
because you use symbols in Maths :)
if you like number crunching you'll choose accountancy :)
This is called 恍然大悟!
I hate it when people kind of expect me to jump into quant stuff - including splitting dinner bills! - just cos I majored in maths. So, I did do maths - but along the way, I forgot my multiplication tables and learnt Greek instead!
On a totally unrelated note, Sito bought a new laptop! And I inherit his macbook! Yeah!
Kel: D says: I discovered a trend! Kok siong likes girls whose name starts with 'M'. M******* to M*** to M****i! I think he likes/liked mf too!
mf: Oh, right... I discover a trend too - I've always been with guys whose name has a k. I think I liked Kok AND YOU too!! :)
And since we're on trends, let's talk maths..
mf emailed Kel one day:
i find myself procrastinating starting on a piece of work that requires number crunching....
which led me to think: why did i choose maths???!
Kel:
because you use symbols in Maths :)
if you like number crunching you'll choose accountancy :)
This is called 恍然大悟!
I hate it when people kind of expect me to jump into quant stuff - including splitting dinner bills! - just cos I majored in maths. So, I did do maths - but along the way, I forgot my multiplication tables and learnt Greek instead!
On a totally unrelated note, Sito bought a new laptop! And I inherit his macbook! Yeah!
Monday, 7 June 2010
First trip to a gynae
Went for a pre-pregnancy scan this pm. This may get a bit eek-ish for some...
One nurse at the counter was very cartoon in a nice way - that lightened me up a bit cos I was quite nervous! I mean, I was going to be examined there leh! Last that happened was with my lady GP whom I've seen for more than 10 years. And of cos Mabel at my spa for ahem, asthetic procedures :p
And so, I started doing my dreaded essay while waiting for my turn. Within that hour, I peed twice - once cos it was such a long wait! And another cos nurse said I should for a better scan.
Then, I was in.
Then, it was in!
Ok la, not so soon :p
Dr was an old chap with good bedside manners. "Milk," he said, "is for calves, not us." I've verified with him that soy milk is ok so that I can still have my muesli. Then it's "let's take a look at you!"
Nurse led me behind the curtain where I stripped before she draped a piece of cloth - pink! - over me. Then Dr came over, and the rest was history!
It wasn't very comfy but it wasn't terrible either. Just strange to have a probe in me. Very strange. Stranger than a PAP smear because it went further *.* Glad Dr kept talking - I felt better with the distraction! Later, he even gave me a book list on nutrition and recipes, and showed me his old photos when he was fat!
Still feeling a bit strange now. But I'm glad I went with Jo's suggestion to have a baseline scan of the insides before pregnancy. My dear girlfriends reading this, pls go see a gynae before trying to conceive!
One nurse at the counter was very cartoon in a nice way - that lightened me up a bit cos I was quite nervous! I mean, I was going to be examined there leh! Last that happened was with my lady GP whom I've seen for more than 10 years. And of cos Mabel at my spa for ahem, asthetic procedures :p
And so, I started doing my dreaded essay while waiting for my turn. Within that hour, I peed twice - once cos it was such a long wait! And another cos nurse said I should for a better scan.
Then, I was in.
Then, it was in!
Ok la, not so soon :p
Dr was an old chap with good bedside manners. "Milk," he said, "is for calves, not us." I've verified with him that soy milk is ok so that I can still have my muesli. Then it's "let's take a look at you!"
Nurse led me behind the curtain where I stripped before she draped a piece of cloth - pink! - over me. Then Dr came over, and the rest was history!
It wasn't very comfy but it wasn't terrible either. Just strange to have a probe in me. Very strange. Stranger than a PAP smear because it went further *.* Glad Dr kept talking - I felt better with the distraction! Later, he even gave me a book list on nutrition and recipes, and showed me his old photos when he was fat!
Still feeling a bit strange now. But I'm glad I went with Jo's suggestion to have a baseline scan of the insides before pregnancy. My dear girlfriends reading this, pls go see a gynae before trying to conceive!
Thursday, 3 June 2010
Just one
I was on the way home when Sito was on his way out for an event. We were chatting on the phone, interrupted only by broken signals along the way, when he realised that our trains would pass each other!
mf: Oh, we can spot each other!
Sito: It'll be too fast..
And of course he was right.
But as our trains passed each other somewhere between Commonwealth and Queenstown, I was sure that if we could just play back in slow motion what we'd seen, we would find each other in one of a thousand frames :)
mf: Oh, we can spot each other!
Sito: It'll be too fast..
And of course he was right.
But as our trains passed each other somewhere between Commonwealth and Queenstown, I was sure that if we could just play back in slow motion what we'd seen, we would find each other in one of a thousand frames :)
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