This thought came to me the other day. What if I were single today? Where would I be? What would I be doing?
Before Sito, I thought of running away to Japan to teach English to kindergarten kids. And stay there forever if I could. Why running away? Cos life wasn't too bright then.. Even with Sito, I had considered going for a year after my bond ended, just cos I could! That was of course before he proposed :p
It’s always been such a dream for me. To live in Japan. To immerse in a country whose food and language I love. In school, I missed out on two opportunities to go on an immersion programme cos it was too expensive and Mother's house simply couldn’t accommodate another person for the return visit. It was also a dream for me to live on my own again, away from Mother’s apron strings.
If I don’t run away, I’ll probably still be doing policy, clocking stressful hours. Or taking it easy and cruising at my low position. No need to work hard for performance bonus. Just be happy with the salary that keeps me alive. Or I’ll run away from there too, and become a secretary or childcare teacher somewhere, enjoying a less stressful form of work but with a flatter pay packet.
Then, when I hit 35, I’ll buy a little flat and finally live independently on my own. I’ll have house parties and go have prata every week or so. I’ll spend quiet evenings reading, blogging, experimenting with recipes, watching TV or watching movies on my own if friends are busy with their families. I’ll go learn Japanese properly, and make regular trips to Japan. I’ll rediscover the joy of shopping and buy all the shoes and bags that I want, since I won’t have a family to provide for. Oh, but that’s if I remain a civil servant; childcare doesn’t pay enough!! *.*
And every so often, I’ll go clubbing – be a lao chio and snog random men! Haha! Ok, skip the random men..! Go KTV more often. Oh, and learn how to sing better! And learn the piano!
But I realise I can now do all of the above things except spending money indiscriminately cos we’re poor now, and clubbing cos I don’t have the energy after cooking and cleaning! But these two, I can live without. So, yup, I’m content being Mrs Sito :)
An extension is, if we remain just the two of us...
We want kids of course! But like above, I’m trying to compare the different lives with and without..
We’re living the life without kids now. With kids, I’ll probably not watch as many dramas hoho! Here in Evanston, kids probably won’t change my life too much – there’s a nice support and fun circle of mums and playgroups here. And most importantly, I have time! But back in Singapore, I think it will be significantly different..
Let’s see.. I assume both of us work. So, we need childcare, which means shuttling between home, work and childcare centre but that could not be helped. Emotionally, there’s the worry of leaving the kids with other people but that could not be helped either. We’ll get part-time help so housework is out of the equation yeah yeah! Honestly, ironing little shirts? That’s too much work when I’m working *.*
Then, we get little rest after work cos we have to, want to, play with the kids, enjoy some family time with these high-energy chaps and put them to bed. Probably no energy left for sex *.* Hmmm, put them to bed earlier? Hoho! Do some work at night cos we, or at least I, would have left work pretty early – like, on time! – to fetch the kids. No time to just do nothing. But before we sleep, we can think of chubby cheeks and smile :)
Conclusion? Yes, a lot of changes with kids. But it’s a lot of joy too, I think! So yes, kids, we will have :)