Spoofs and satires

Yes I love them and I love the latest one to bits! Too many things to note, especially of the film's audacity almost everywhere.. So, instead of being long-winded and robbing you of all the fun, I'll rob you of only a tiny bit of fun :p

My faves from "Team America World Police"

Fave song, by "Kim Jong-Il", you have to hear it man!

I'm so ronery
So ronery
So ronery and sadry arone

There's no one
Just me onry
Sitting on my rittre throne
I work very hard and make up great prans
But nobody ristens, no one understands
Seems that no one takes me serirousry

And so I'm ronery
A little ronery
Poor rittre me

There's nobody
I can rerate to
Feer rike a bird in a cage
It's kinda sihry
But not rearry
Because it's fihring my body with rage

I work rearry hard and I'm physicarry fit
But nobody here seems to rearize that
When I rure the world maybe they'rr notice me
But untir then I'rr just be ronery
Rittre ronery, poor rittre me
I'm so ronery
I'm so ronery

Second fave; I like the way they're written, as if the movie's a bug or the song you hear on the radio this morning that refuses to go away :p

I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark
When he made Pearl Harbor
I miss you more then that movie missed the point
And that’s an awful lot girl
And now, now you've gone away
And all I'm trying to say
Is Perl Harbor sucked and I miss you

I need you like Ben Affleck* needs acting school
He was terrible in that film
I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part
He's way better then Ben Affleck
And now all I can think about is your smile
And that shitty movie too
Perl Harbor sucked and I miss you

Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies
I guess Perl Harbor sucked
Just a little bit more then I miss you

* Just remember an episode of South Park which made a dig at Ben Affleck too.. Writers don't like him too much hur?

Fave dialogue, non-verbatim of course, cos my memory sucks:

(Gary asking Lisa to give him a chance, sincerely - at first)
Lisa: I can't, unless.. you promise you won't die!
Gary: But I can't promise that..
Lisa: If you promise you won't die, I'll make love to you right now!
Gary: *Eyes wide and looking sort of dazed, in a robotic voice - loins have obviously taken over heart and mind* I promise I won't die.

*Roll eyes*

Oh yes, above leads to the puppet sex scene.. Puppet has bigger boobs than - I shall not be personal - most people..

Also check out the trivialities.

Conclusion? I think the writers are damn niao - no other word! But I like. Might watch it again :p

PS: Pyramid scene looks weird to me, Sphinx seems to be facing the wrong way.. Can someone verify pls?

Konnichi ha!

Just edited my Friendster profile, might as well advertise here too:

mf wants to meet Tokyoites!

Some time back, I did a search for Tokyo urbanites; thought would be fun to find some locals to lunch with, practise my Jap, go Disneyland etc in the five days after Na's gone.. Now our travel plans have changed, I'm going to be by myself for eight full days before Na arrives. Think I need more friends than just Miki..

Anyway, one guy replied ok, the girls never did - wondering if they are straight girls thinking I were lesbian or I put up fake photos or whatever nonsense.. Hmmm.. Unfriendly!

I like solo travel, get to meet more people. On the Swiss Alps, I met a funky German who's a DJ (who later caught me sleeping with my mouth wide open in a train; he was on the platform and he knocked at the window and grinned - paiseh!); and an Australian who reminded me of Julie Delpy in Geneva - she happened to be learning French somemore; and a sweet Athena Zhu-lookalike Taiwanese girl I met in Scotland who visited me in Oxford a few months later.

Think I should start training myself to chat up strangers..

The airhead speaks

Well, doesn't she always? :)

But there's a difference today. And yesterday. The airhead is more light-headed than usual. Reason: strong smell of glue and some aerosol in the office, which is building a new meeting room from a disused cubicle space right in front of her workstation.

*Floating*

The only thing stopping her skyward flight is the sound of the hoover in the yet-to-be-named room. Oh, the name will likely be some Jasmine (does it already exist? Can't remember..) or Rafflesia; almost all the rooms in this building are named after some flower or plant: Ixora, Angsana, Marigold.. Anyway, the sound, yes, the sound of the hoover is the only thing keeping her grounded, feet barely touching the ground but certainly, she isn't soaring out of the windows.

In case there's any doubt, she likes it. Though she is now wondering if the tiny potted plant in front of her is wilting for the same reason she's feeling light..

Kopi, my friend? :)

Inspiration for this piece struck suddenly, perhaps brought on by a gf a couple of days back.

Was chatting with her the other day, on how friends could go mia and gradually drop out of our lives from a lack of contact. And then there are some who can just suddenly decide oh, I don't want to be friends with you anymore, and cut you off completely.

The conversation arose cos a mutual gf has been unable to make it for the past few dinners. If friends don't catch up enough, they'll lose touch with each other's life and slowly fade into the category of acquaintances before eventually disappearing, isn't it? We don't want this happening with this gf..

I agree we may have little in common since we lead very different lives; work VS studies, single VS attached, cheongster VS, well, non-cheongster etc. But hey, I sure don't need, and definitely not wish, to discuss Singapore's fertility rates or lament about single life - ok, nothing to lament about; I'm no Sumiko Tan :p Just illustrating that I, for one, do not need to talk about things that relate to me alone, like I'm sure you won't want to discuss Black-Scholes with us either :p

But I'm sure we'll all like to know each other's dreams or plans, like when he completes that irritating report, once my bond finally ends, if she wins a million bucks; or to reminisce on the good old times; or simply, to plan for that long overdue Sentosa trip..

From when we shed our school uniforms for the last time, our paths have already started to diverge. It has been, what, more than six years since we left school? Yeh, long time and we've all come a long way both on our own and together since then..

Now, question: can people be friends forever?

I told CY before that I had imagined two of us at 60, having regular afternoon tea with our grandkids running about us :p But at one point some years back, I felt our friend-friend index dipped to an all time low. Fortunately for us, we picked up. Another one: now KLK is having 4hour kopi at J8 Coffee Beans, having graduated from 4hour fries at KAP. Will we be doing something similar in another six years?

Yan was saying that when people move on to different stages of life, friends could move on too, especially if they are at a different stage in life. For example, I guess it is not wrong to surmise that friendships may have to take a backseat when marriage and kids etc kick in. Common topic is only one factor, but one which I have already discounted; time is another facter, and a more important one at that, I feel. But for how long can friends stay in the background?

Though some may argue that an enduring friendship can withstand the test of time and distance, I beg to differ. Knowing the human heart, we're fickle and we forget. And we're often busy chasing that dream or dream house/car too! You don't maintain it, you lose it. And if you're fortunate for it to come back someday, it may unfortunately be no longer the same as when you first leave it.

So what do we do when time is tight? What would I do?

If a friendship is worth cherishing and I want to keep it, even if there aren't many chances to meet up, there'll still be time to at least drop an email - mass email if you so wish - or sms to keep up. Look at email, mobile, MSN, ICQ, Friendster and blogs etc! I believe these modern mechanisms are meant to faciliate communication rather than distance people from one another. So treat them not as a substitute, but as a complementary tool to reach your friends (and know more friends?). Surely, an email invite to dinner could take only a minute, and anyone can afford a fiver in between projects to take a peek into mf's world (and leave a comment)? :)

Plans disrupted!

Much anticipated trip to Tokyo/SF might need to be pushed back! =((

It snowed in Japan over weekend --> spring might be late --> cherry blossoms will bloom later --> we won't catch it!

We were trying to reschedule flights with travel agency but fares for Apr not out yet, have to wait until mid Mar, which sounds a tat too close to original departure dates. Very worried about the extra costs and accomodation in Tokyo. And the mtg on 18 Apr how??!

Maybe I worry too much. Maybe the snow was a freak. Recall the Apr snow/sleet of 2000, heat wave descended on us in May/June anyway.. Let's keep our fingers crossed..

Ahhh.. Happy..

Hello everyone! I'm refreshed! :) Weekend had been no hectic affair of lunch, gym and dinner in town - I was away in Bintan with Yan!

But the start wasn't too fun.. The tiny ferry was rocky on the rough seas. I was one among many who clutched the blue bag from beginner to end. Did I puke? No, but I did retch quite a bit ~.~ Hotel guy at the Bintan ferry terminal said I looked pale. Oh, pale mf! =( Nvm, what followed at the Nirwana resort was =) Anyway, let's get the disgusting bit out of the way!

So we put down our bags, had lunch at the hotel restaurant and took a bus to Pasar Oleh Oleh, which was hot and deserted, utterly disappointing! We spent most of our hour there in this tiny shophouse tended by a friendly young woman. So, though things weren't cheap, we each bought a sarong from her and Yan threw in a bikini as well. We hit the pools after that but only for a short while cos we had an appointment at Asmara Spas in the evening :)

The facial started with a foot soak - I know, random! :p Then the lady told me to take off my top.. Ok, have to admit that was my third facial in my entire life. The first was a fully-clad affair at Jean Yip's. The second was a free trial somewhere, with clothes on too, I think. But this one, when she said to take off my top, I was like, eh, with you standing right in front of me??! Communication wasn't great but in the end she got me a sheet to cover myself with. Then it was bliss and blissful sleep especially when I dozed off as she gave me a really good body massage after applying the mask. Yan said I looked radiant :) But she had three new pimples the morning after, aiyoh..

Dinner was interesting - Yan was a hit at the restaurant! She could speak some Bahasa Indonesian and charmed the waiters no end :) Three of them attended to us and I just busked in her light even though I couldn't understand what they were talking about :p One of them brought us flowers which we wore in our hair for the rest of the dinner.

Source: mf

We were so relaxed and sleepy by the end of dinner that we gave up the walk on the beach and the trip to the pub, and took a detour to our room via the pools. The sky was so beautiful. It was a deep, deep blue, almost black if you didn't look carefully. The bright stars were stunningly embedded in the blue, like diamonds. I thought it's amazing that when we look at the sky, we're actually looking right into the universe which stretches forever everywhere.. I always feel this awe when I recognise something so big I can't even imagine it be contained, like my greatest horror as a kid was that my huge basket of toys would topple cos there was no way I could put everything back again..! Erm..

Anyway, so, we were back in the room which faced the sea on the ground floor. I cut my fingernails; haven't had the time to do that since the manicure session just before CNY! After all the beauty regime, we resumed to talking, about work, about friends, about relationships, about random stuff. Glad for her that she had thought through her problem well and clear, and come to a decision of her next step.

Oh, question: do I, in any way, remind you of Sharon Au?! Both Yan and CY thought the same! Omg..

I like talking to Yan. We could both listen to and advise each other and we did that late into the night on Sat, until we both fell asleep..

The lovely morning sun woke me; Yan was already up. Oops, piggy mf :p We changed into swim gear and went to the beach. The sand was incredible! Where it was dry, I felt like I was stepping on marshmallows; where it was wet, it was like a sponge that never went dry. While Yan was singing at the hammock in the shade, I was singing and jumping about on the beach. It was great with the sun beating down on me and the waves caressing my feet. Suddenly, I didn't want to go back.

We must have been there for at least an hour. By the time we got to the pools, it was 1115 - we asked the bartender, meaning yes, we both had a cocktail in bright day light :p I think the last time I did that must have been that Xmas morning so long ago when I couldn't resist that bottle of I-forgot-its-name on my window sill.. I tried to delude myself into thinking I could burn some calories by grooving to the music even as I was sipping the sinful concoction..

Before we left the resort, we took to the beach once more with a camera.

“为了你 修长身影 海鸥盘旋…”

source: mf

Ok, I have a thing for coconut trees, palm trees. Can't tell the difference..

Source: mf

I popped a seasick pill at the terminal; didn't wish to get sick again. But this time it was a bigger ferry, much bigger and more stable; I didn't feel sick at all - or the pill helped. Maybe it was the pill, maybe it was too little sleep over Fri and Sat, didn't know which but I was so sleepy! After dinner with Grams, I was positively switched off and I had to go back. But not before Grams came over with leftover food and asked me to clean up.. I didn't want to cos I was full but well, I succumbed. How could I bear to resist her? :)

Oh, I kena this huge bruise on the inside of my feet/ankle - I don't know what you call this part! Don't recall hitting anything though.. Pain ah..

Source: mf

The waiter at the restaurant kept asking us when we would go back to Bintan again. They were right to assume I would want to return to the island. Even though there wasn't anything to do except nua, swim, eat, stroll, massage/facial, since I don't do sea sports. Perhaps the next time I want some serious R&R and a long walk on the beautiful beach :) Missing it already..

mf in a trance, sort of

Lately, I find myself shuttling between two worlds: the real and the 4D.

Clarification: D for Dimensional, not Digits.

And I'm spending more and more time in the latter. I prefer that to reality.

But there's no food in my preferred space. Then I'll die and there'll be no mf's 4D world to speak of! *Gasp* So still need to come out to the real world to work and feed my physical shell so that I can indulge my mind.. Sighs..

Well, you know what I do in the real world - just like everyone else. Let me offer you a glimpse into the other world.

Here, there's no concept of time. Day or night, it looks the same inside. What do I do? I'm not too sure! It feels good just to be absorbed in its atmosphere and everything bad outside gives way to serenity. At peace, I'll toss over things that the real world doesn't allow time for. Give you samples:

1) Why do people kill? What's the point in fighting? I don't understand wars. I don't understand terrorism. This thought has been rotting in my brain cells for the past five years but I just find it so hard to articulate..

2) Read this about 3000 years ago, can no longer remember exactly when: there's no love without lust, and the converse is false. You might find this in my other blog, when I have time :p And on a related note, Kel just reminded me that virginity does not equate chastity, interesting.. Oh, about Kel, pls allow me to compliment (from mf! Wow!) that conversations with you have always been most enlightening without being overly chim for my wee brain :)

3) From young, you hear that "blood is thicker than water". Scientifically true but who says I must be close to my siblings? Or my parents for that matter? Then when you say you severe all ties, do you really mean it?

4) How would my life be if I just tweak one single variable, say, at the age of ten? How about exams years of 16 and 18? More variables? If I didn't go to Oxford? Where would this lead me?

5) If there's a next life, I have already decided that I'll be a girl again or a cat, if I can choose. Then Siok asked me one day, what would be the colour of mf the cat? Hmmm..

and etc..

A lot of these are actually things from the real world as you can tell. Call it info leaks. But info sips through the other way too, perhaps unknowingly.. Maybe one day, I'll put these thoughts into words. More words. But for now, I'm feeling so damn restless now.

Actually I find that I like telling the world what I'm thinking or what I want to think of instead of describing in minute details my exact thoughts about these things. I'm not that good at translating neuron actions into something intelligible la hur.. *Trying to redeem myself for my nonsensical entries*

Suddenly remember I need to sort myself out and I haven't done so yet. I'll try to do so from tomorrow, when I go to Bintan for a shirt R&R with Yan.

They say love conquers all..

A few of us gathered in the meeting room to watch "Ray" during lunch, took two days to finish. Very nice, the man's a genius with a heart and conscience. Everyone should go and watch. Pronto.

PS: Huppu Chan, no worries man, just keep your mobile on!!! :p

Ahh, feel like dancing now.. Let me change to my jazz playlist..

mf is imploding

I simply hate it when people do not reply to my email or sms that obviously needs a reply. Happens at work, happens with friends - some of these I'm not even sure if they fall into the "friends" category anymore but that's a separate story.

Like hell! Damn pissed this morning with work emails and sms! I sent a freaking reminder email (which was asking for an answer) and I received nothing so far. Deadline was clearly stated in the email ok and it wasn't anything difficult.. No comments also must say ma! And sms, yes or no so difficult meh?? I can accept no for an answer; just don't make me wait! I'm a woman of short patience and an even shorter temper.

On the other hand, there are those which do not require any reply, especially sms. Don't understand why sometimes people like to reply with "ok" when the answer (which isn't necessary) has to be "ok".. Next time, unless an affirmative answer is totally necessary, don't just "ok" me, ok! At least add a "have a good day" behind or something :p

Moral of the story: reply when necessary, PLEASE!

Ok, I should cool down now.

I'm wearing a knee-length dress today

And my hand happened to be on my calf - don't ask me why..

Then, horror of horrors: I forgot to shave..

Actually I never used to shave my legs until the past month or so, when I realised my 4year old epilator is no longer working as well =(

Now I'll have to shave my legs. And I'll have tiny black stubs, don't like.. Only consolation is that it'll be faster and painless..

Next shave: Sat morning before Bintan. MUST remember..

I recommend Gillette Venus.

Random blogs

I like the "next blog" function.

Hit it like 3000 times yesterday - I was bored, remember? I like this one by Omni but I can't leave comments there.. And guess what, I just saw that he/she left a comment in mf's world. Ah, bless the "next blog" function :p

Also found a blog totally in Jap. Besides English, I've came across countless in Spanish, Arabic, even Thai! But in Jap, this is a first. I'll brush up on my Jap before 24 Mar! Have already borrowed JLPT book from Sito to read.. Still hope somehow that I'll pass JLPT 2 someday..

霹雳火 ended!

Can't believe it but I watched the last 20min of 霹雳火 last night!

Actually, I watched quite a bit of it since just before CNY, since I was mostly in those nights, tidying stuff etc..

*Sheepish*

Crappy and long. Thought it was already showing when I returned in Sep 2003 but apparently, it started in 2004. Ok, still very long; even I could hum the Hokkien tune they played before and after advert! But I'm not about to :p Anyway they changed it to Xiao Gang's song after the merger. Even crappier cos they just didn't go!

Btw, all the actors and actresses are so fair they must be endorsing some seriously whitening products. Too fair.. But wait, does Taiwan get much sun? Maybe it's all natural.. Think some girls would kill for such ghostly skin. Not me :)

Yawn yawn..

Feeling bored. Yes, at work but bored nonetheless. I've just finished a paper and I'm revising another - the beginning is always the hardest.

Thought I'd write since I'm bored and you'd read if you're bored too, so some random bites for us:

1) Wardrobe is falling apart. One door is gone, replaced by a curtain that wasn't long enough to reach the bottom. So Mother put a cardboard at the bottom, supposedly to keep out lizards - actually I never believe that works!

Black Mon, for the 10millionth time, the cardboard fell flat when I open the working door.

I scolded it vehemently.

2) Watched "Howl's Moving Castle" last night. Love the Sophie obaa-chan who was trying to be a good old lady and yet was a young girl inside, loving Howl with all her heart in her cleaning lady role in the castle.

Yes Joyce, I walked away with a warm fuzzy feeling :)

3) Lately I've been going to bed lying flat on my back. When I wake, I'm on my side with Meh in my arms and I don't know why or how come.

4) Was woken up last night by freaking heavy rains. Horrible sounds of thunder etc outside scared me. I curled up and went back to sleep immediately.

Then, I dreamed. I bought a tortoise, called it Ise (pronounced "ice"). It had a cracked shell. At first I thought the stupid shop sold stupid me a dead tortoise. Turned out to be alive but blamed me for the crack or something cos it tried to bite me. But I let it sleep on my bed anyway.

One morning, it was gone. Some machine I checked with revealed that Ise was "under the tree". Wtf, I thought, I see no freaking tree in my room! Then I saw the tiny potted plant which I'd never seen before. That's the tree? Crappy machine. Found Ise.

I woke. For good.

5) Is it nice if people hang on to your every word? Yes, makes me feel valued. Stressful? Yes too, cos I'm not the thoughtful kind. Then how? I don't think much before I speak so likely LL la!