Is this what I think it is?

I just felt two bubbles pop in my tummy, one after the other.

Baby, is that you? :)

I've read that initial baby movements feel like fluttering butterflies (!) or bubbles. When I first felt something like that one night some days ago, I was so excited! But the next thing I knew, I farted *.* Just gas passing through, bah!

But this time, no fart!

I've also read that thinner mums may feel baby movements earlier than meatier mums. I know I have a nice layer of subcutaneous fats around my torso but I always thought it was a thin layer or at least thinner than 10 years ago. Maybe not.

I shall be patient and wait for his movements to become strong enough.. Jia you, baby!

Peanut butter love

The first time I came across nut allergy must be in some angmoh story book. Somehow, angmohs are more prone to nut allergy. There are two main kinds of nut allergy - tree nut allergy and peanut allergy, cos peanuts are not tree nuts. Collectively, what are nut allergy sufferers missing?

1) Groundnuts in their shells, toasted and begging to be split open to be downed with some ice cold beer
2) Cashews, almonds, hazelnuts etc as an afternoon snack on their own, or crushed and sprinkled over vanilla yogurt or good old cereals
3) Smooth creamy peanut butter, perfect on nicely toasted white bread
4) Crunchy peanut butter, perfect on its own, especially after some vile TCM concoction
5) All kinds of nutty delights, like rojak (what's rojak without crushed nuts?), pistachio ice cream, or the two peanut butter chocolate chip cookies sitting behind me right now..

*** 30 minutes ago ***

mf: I want another cookie..
(mf eats a second peanut butter chocolate chip cookie)
mf: Oh no, I want another one..
(mf stares at the near empty box)
Sito: Close the box now.
mf: There are only two left...
(mf stares at the near empty box)
Sito: Close the box NOW.
(mf stares a little more)
Sito: We'll eat them tomorrow.
mf: Ok..
(mf closes the box)

*** Back to now ***

Yup, better to keep them behind me where I can't see and yearn for them!

I think I have an addiction to nuts. I can't stop once I've started! The only way to stop is to start with only a handful. If the entire box or bag is in front of me, I'd eat until I feel full or sick :( And sometimes, I would still continue for a while until I get disgusted with myself.

miso: No control, you horrible woman!
mf: But they are SO good!

Sometimes I think I'm just a compulsive eater. Ice cream isn't my favourite but I can go at a tub of ice cream until I feel sick. I like chocolate but that makes me feel sick quite early - the throat will start to burn.

I think I need to change my eating habits. No good for me or baby if I keep eating like this! I had a strange dream about inculcating good eating habits in our kids the other day.. Good eating habits mean moderation, not deprivation. But I think I have to set a good example first. For a start, I'll make the remaining one box each of almonds and cashews last until we leave Evanston! (I'll try my best with ice cream - it's milk after all, right? :p)

20 weeks and starting to show!

Now, I gained only four pounds* in the first 18 weeks. Then, some time between last Friday (when we hit 19 weeks) and this Tuesday, I became unrecognisable!

* Oh, forgive my betrayal on the metric system! I bought the cheapest bathroom scales here, i.e. in pounds only..

Last Friday when Kel asked me to show a picture of me, I said that I had only my usual fats spilling over. On Sunday when we took our weekly belly pictures, I couldn't see any difference from the previous two weeks. On Tuesday, I was wearing my "fat skirt" - I looked pregnant in it even before I got pregnant! - and felt really huge the whole day. At the end of the day when I took everything off after that big dinner, I was quite shocked at my appearance - I actually looked pregnant!!

But it was the food la; the next morning, I was back to looking chubby.

As my lousy scales became a little wonky after I lent it out, I could only estimate that I had gained another four pounds in the past two weeks. And I was right! Just weighed in this morning and just now at two separate appointments with the doctor and the nutritionist. So it's eight pounds in 20 weeks - that's about 3.6 kg. So far so good.

I can still wear all my pre-pregnancy clothes. Except for the jeans - I could not stand wearing them since morning sickness hit and now, I don't intend to try! And I have a lot of loose tops that I can continue to wear for quite a while and maybe the entire pregnancy if I'm lucky. But I've bought a pair of maternity leggings to stand by - gonna freeze if my usual leggings suddenly become too small!

But I noticed depressed marks on my boobs after wearing a bra the whole of Tuesday. (Oops, I've been passing over that piece of clothing at home :p) Strange that I didn't feel the tightness. Think I should wear my other bras that can be used with an extender. No issue with cup size (yet?) cos I wasn't able to fill up those darn things anyway hoho!

Had the detailed foetal assessment on Wednesday. It took a long time cos the sonographer had to measure everything this time. Everything looks normal. Our baby is an estimated 300g now - light than my bottle of water! - with heartbeat at 150bpm. And we saw his face!



So cute right? :) Although to be honest, he probably looks like any generic baby at this stage hoho! But but but, the pose is still cute right? :) Love 3D ultrasound!

It is a little blurred as he was moving so much! He didn't cooperate when we were counting fingers, moving his arms about and keeping his little fists closed most of the time. We have a couple of short videos though, and here's one showing a little hand :)



I love seeing baby on ultrasound, or just hearing his heart beat on the doppler. Sets my heart at ease since I can't feel his movements yet. Since last week, I kept thinking I felt something, especially Wednesday morning when I thought there were four tumbles in the middle and sharp jabs on the left which later become a dull ache. But it could be shit moving through given how much I ate the night before *.* Anyway, I asked doctor about it and she said it could be a FOOT! Well, still waiting for that elusive definite first kick..

Other updates: My fundal height is 21 cm today - my first measurement. It should grow one centimetre every week. And my placenta has moved away from the cervix! No more marginal previa! Yeah! And this morning, doctor checked my cervix physically and said we could resume intercourse! Woohoo! :p

Anyway, we were quite set on going back to deliver until last night.. Mum said that the renovation of their new place will finish only in July. The rental apartment will probably not allow us to keep a wailing baby.. One way around it is for us to move back into HV by early July and have one of them move to the rental apartment. But the more I think about it, the more I don't wish to cram six of us including a newborn in the flat.. So now we're considering staying here until August, SIGHS! Drawing out pros and cons now... To be updated...

In the meantime, a list of some signs that this is indeed *Sito* Jr...

1) I used to avoid sauces while Sito loooves ketchup. Now, I must have lots of ketchup on burgers and chips. When we had ribs on Tuesday, I even poured some extra BBQ sauce..

2) I used to avoid cold drinks unless they were bubble tea and teh-o-kosong-beng while Sito drinks everything cold. Now, I love cold milk, cold Pepsi and most recently, cold water. I've taken to keeping a bottle of water in the fridge so that I can have ready access especially in the middle of the night.

3) I like to sleep like a plank, on my back, while Sito sleeps with his arm or 小臭臭 over his eyes. Baby seems to like to keep his hands around his face - it's the I-wanna-sleep-more pose :)

The only mf-ism he shows is a liking for spicy stuff - I'm really into Tabasco now!

Candy floss from heaven!

Well, I was going to do something productive when I was distracted by huge snow flakes!



It's really pretty :)

It may snow again tomorrow when I'm going out, but with this winter much milder than the last, I'm kind of looking forward to it!

Better get back to knocking out the final details of our upcoming trip next weekend!

Tuesday dates

Before we moved in together, we used to go on dates on Tuesdays :)

We would usually meet in Orchard and have dinner at either Food Republic or Ajisen. Then we would head for the cab stand at Lucky Plaza or Heeren to get a quick ride home. Sometimes if he wasn't too tired, he would send me home first.

We were walking home from the bus stop just now when we realised that hey, it's Tuesday today! :)

It's Chicago Restaurant Week so we decided to go downtown for dinner today. But before that, we stopped by the MCA. Um, too arty farty for us.. It just so happened that this morning at the tutoring session, we did a comprehension story where Olivia the pig went to a museum, saw a painting and commented that she could do that at home in five minutes. Well, at some points, we felt the same way *.* I much prefer the last exhibition I saw.

Anyway, as we walked up to the third floor, we both began to get really hungry. So we headed for our main destination, Carson's. It was a great choice! First of all, we had a really friendly and helpful server, Mike, who recommended trying various preparations of our meat so we got more varied tastes than just BBQ. Then, well, just look at this spread!

Caesar salad, simple but the first I had with whole romaine leaves. Sito had coleslaw but that wasn't interesting enough for a photo :p



Mediterranean shrimps - perfectly grilled and juicy on top of grilled vegetables. Sito suddenly became more open to me trying out more Mediterranean recipes..



Ah, the bibs... They could only mean that our meat was on its way!



WAAAAAA!



Sito ordered a sampler from the dinner menu - half slab of BBQ ribs, a quarter BBQ chicken, a medium charred pork chop. Yes, medium as in it was a little pink in the middle. I tried the outside bit and it was out of this world! This came with a side of salad (i.e. the coleslaw) and potato - he chose the double baked potato, i.e. baked potato dug out and mixed with sour cream and chives, and baked again in its skin!

I chose from the Restaurant Week menu. Besides the caesar salad and prawns, I had half slab of BBQ ribs and half a chicken done Mediterranean style. The chicken skin was nicely seasoned and crisp, while the ribs were meaty with a sauce that didn't feel too heaty even though it was BBQ. I chose potato au gratin which was soooo sinful!

Of course we couldn't finish everything! Honestly I would be quite disgusted with ourselves if we did *.* We packed home a half of my chicken and 80% of his pork. We finished the potatoes! And we were tempted into ordering an apple pie with vanilla ice cream! Which we finished too! Ok, we should be disgusted with ourselves... Damage: $83 all in and about five extra inches on each of us.

We could have taken the train home from a nearby station but full as we were, we decided to walk all the way up north to catch the school bus instead.

Along the way, we popped into Forever 21 and I got this really pretty frilly dress! :) Ok, what's a pregnant woman doing with a pretty frilly dress right... Well, it's got an elastic waist :) And a wrap neckline to show up my new cleavage hoho! I'll put up photos when I eventually wear it..

When we emerged from the shop, it seemed that it had rained AND stopped! Lucky! :) And the lights were so pretty! Had to pose :)



Those two minutes of posing almost caused us to miss the school bus! We saw it in front of the school from way back and we had to speed up quite a bit and lucky we did cos it left shortly after we took our seats! Phew!

And so, that was our latest Tuesday date. I like to go pah-toh with my husband :) But next time with kids, pah-toh must go hand in hand with 拜托 - 拜托 Mum to take care of the young ones for a few hours!

A dash of vinegar over chips and salaries

Oops, I forgot to complete this post after writing "let x be ..." in January :p Forgot parts of our discussion and added some. Sito said this is chim-er than before! Oh well...

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After the craving for Singaporean food ended with morning sickness, I went back to wanting angmoh food. So we headed out for some Irish pub grub - bangers and mash, fish and chips WITH VINEGAR! Omg, that was good..

Besides eating, we had one hell of a time coming up with a way to settle this ministerial salary thing. Ya, great dinner topic - money..

It started with Sito suggesting that we continue to pay MPs what they were earning before being elected. Let me present the result of our discussion as follows:

Let
$p = last drawn basic annual salary before being elected
$a = basic annual salary after being elected, i.e. entry-level pay for MP
Sh = salary add-on for office holders, i.e. for Parl Sec, MOS, (Acting) Minister
$r = the debated and accepted recommendation of MP's salary
$b = annual bonus
N = number of elected MPs
n = number of office holders; different n for each level

(Familiar format?! :p)

Then,

1) $a = $p if $p is smaller or equal to $r for new entrants; existing MPs whose $p are long out of date can take $r. Over time as existing MPs retire, salaries will adjust to a new equilibrium.

This means that those coming in from high-paying jobs will see a cut in their salary but those coming in from lower-paying jobs will not see a dramatic increase. This way, people are not motivated to join politics for money, and those who are already highly-paid can remain so subject to a cap. (If $a is deemed too low, one way is to up it to $a' = Σ$a/N. But what is too low? Anyway...) The remaining difference should even out as the better ones take on more responsibilities and move up the salary scale, i.e. + $h.

2) $h should be set at appropriate increments for each successive level, e.g. a single increment could be $i = Σ$a/10N and depending on the office and $h could be $i for Parl Sec and x$i for Ministers.

3) $b = xΣ$a/N + yΣ$h/n where
- x is a quantum obtained by weighing various economic and social indicators; the four indicators under the accepted National Bonus structure should do fine, and,
- y is a similar quantum but could vary for each office holder.

Note that $h = 0 for MPs who are not holding office.

4) As per recommendations, no more pensions; just CPF like every other Singapore.

5) There is no annual increment; the basic salary is fixed for the entire term and revised when new MPs come in. $r may be also be revised at the end of each term. How? I don't know :p Maybe based on real income growth of the 50th percentile?

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And just this week, we also discussed salaries for civil servants. We don't think that civil servants should be subject to the whole "privilege to serve" thing. First of all, we have professionals in the civil service with very comparable equivalents in the private sector - just think teachers, healthcare professionals, lawyers, social workers etc. Then, for the rest of us who are not in professional wings, there are content experts in their respective areas and those who have experience and overview in more than one policy area - necessary for a whole-of-government approach. (Love that term hoho!) At the end of the day, civil servants are doing a job, doing something worthwhile for a cause they believe in, serving the people indirectly through implementation. Politics is not their war.

Sito did a little "rally speech" in his PJs on how the civil service and the politicians should be separate entities altogether. I'll like to make a little flag for him :)

Things we talk about when we have time. Bliss.

Happy V Day, every day!

We happened to have some strawberries in the fridge so I made a little arrangement in his cereal bowl this morning before I left for volunteer work. Happy.



Walked to school after that to meet him for lunch at the school cafe, buffet style. It being today, there were pink sponge cakes and red velvet cupcakes on a table decorated with candies. Sweet.

We spent the afternoon washing clothes, changing bed sheets and doing homework before taking a nap - he in the fresh sheets cos he'd had a shower and me in the sofa cos I didn't shower until just now. Very normal.

It was 8 pm (!) when I woke. We weren't very hungry so he cooked instant noodles for himself while I made myself a bowl of granola with yogurt and fruits. Our dinner was topped with the nth rerun of "Die Hard with a Vengeance" on the tele. Perfect.

And now, I have cotton pads of Epsom salt solution on my pimply face while he studies. The only sounds in the room are my sniffling, his typing and some background noise in the building. Again, very normal.

So, we are having a very normal day which happens to be Valentine's Day. We agree that every day can be Valentine's Day for us :)

Lounging in my PJs (again)

I haven't stepped out of this building apartment since Friday... Well, what's new? :p

Anyway, this relatively warm winter seems to be becoming a normal one after all. It started snowing on Friday just as I was returning from the clinic. Within a few hours, the temperature went from 1C to -12C!

This weather and all my hormones are making my nose worse these days. I'm really not getting much sleep at night. And once the day breaks, I find it hard to stay in bed to try to go back to sleep, partly cos of my nose and partly cos of insane hunger. So I've been waking up pretty early these days. After breakfast, I'll laze on the sofa or creep back into bed to read stuff on the iPad before waking Sito if he has no school.

Yesterday morning was quite funny. After waking Sito at noon (!) and a very long stage 1 (lazing in bed), he made an ultra fast transition from stage 2 (sitting up in bed) to stage 3 (off the bed) - and he proceeded to make the bed with me in it! I was very tickled :p

Had chee cheong fun for lunch. Of cos it wasn't enough so I made some bread rolls to eat with peanut butter :p Later, Sito got hungry too but he doesn't like peanut butter so...



Yes, bah kwa bun! :p He had two of those, yummy...

Woke to a very sunny morning today. So sunny that my neck was burning as I was brushing my teeth cos the sun was coming through the window *.* So sunny that my bread rolls were warm when I got to the living room! :)

Sito didn't sleep well but had to wake for a morning meeting. So we went back to bed after lunch :p and I had three hours of blissful sleep! Sito reminded me that I woke somewhere in the middle and told him to go drink the barley! But I must have dozed off quickly after that so it still felt like continuous sleep. I was so grateful! Seriously, I haven't slept for more than two hours at a stretch for a long time..

Really should get back to my afternoon naps.. Forgot to nap in the past week cos I was busy planning for our holidayS :) Be going away the first weekend of March, then spring break, then another weekend in April.. Details later! :)

A new discovery at 17w5d

I hesitate to put my kid's genitals on cyberspace but since HE wasn't shy at all...



Yes, it's a boy!

First thought: No stress for dragon year cohort P1 registration at the alumni phase!

So, Sito's guess is right. And apparently my dream too.

A few weeks ago, we had dinner with WSY and her husband and they said that in Korea, their dreams would tell them the gender of the baby. There's even a book with such interpretation! Of course, take it with a pinch of salt la.. She dreamt of a tiger which supposedly meant a boy but they're having a girl.

That very night, I had a strange dream of a cartoony crocodile trying to eat a little girl. WSY checked online and found that it meant a boy. But I was unconvinced. I kept feeling it was a girl due to this chart I found early in the pregnancy and what the TCM doctor said. But Sito had one data point - obviously a more accurate one - which was the darkening hair on my belly *.* "Must be the testosterone!"

Well, we would have been happy with either boy or girl, so long as it's healthy. I couldn't wipe a silly smile off my face as we walked out of the hospital =D So nice to know baby's gender!

Anyway, this sonographer was very nice. She took a quick look and told us that baby's heart was going at 157 bpm and that things looked normal on the surface. We'll do a detailed assessment in two weeks' time. The main purpose of today's visit was to check my cervical length, very good at 3.8 cm; it should be more than 3 cm. But the placenta is currently rather near the cervix so they'll monitor its position later as it can move as baby grows; too near may complicate natural delivery.

Second thought came from Sito, which wiped the smile off my face: Shall we delivery here or in Sg?

Maybe as a girl, I'm not in the best position to say this. But something must be wrong with our NS when our men don't want their sons to serve NS!

I'm pretty sian cos I want our kids to be Singaporeans! And I don't want to stay here until August! And I'll feel much better in the hands of my gynae in Sg!

Well, I intend to buy our one-way tickets after the detailed assessment. We'll have two weeks to think about this..

In the meantime, show off a cute shot of Sito Jr - "buru buru buru"



:)

An unquenchable thirst

Very very thirsty since dinner. Tried miso soup, soy milk, 1% milk, water. Nothing helped.

Please don't tell me I need beer *.*

Guess that leaves only one thing - sleep.

But I'm pretty disappointed that water didn't do the trick. A couple of days ago, I found that I was able to take water again without feeling gassy. My fluid intake is now no longer restricted to Pepsi, milk, soy milk, tea, Milo and the pathetic half cup of warm water I bluff my tummy into taking every morning. I can now have water at any time of the day! Yeah!

I have been reading two pregnancy books from J - in Chinese ok... So I don't understand the names of minerals and certain foods. But otherwise, I find the info quite interesting and different from my Mayo Clinic book. Besides the usual, the Chinese versions also give food suggestions using ingredients familiar to us, like goji berries and black fungi! I like :) At the same time, I notice that the Chinese versions tend to be more paranoid, like cannot take cold foods.

Um, I've been taking a lot of cold stuff leh.. Especially drinks when I had morning sickness. In fact, I still want cold drinks now. I feel better drinking cold stuff unless it's tea but my teas are not all decaf... And I've been having lots of ice cream too :p I guess if it's edible and generally not harmful to a normal person, I should listen to my body and eat whatever I like, right?

miso: Right!

So there, I'm going to have some soy milk* and go to bed :)

* Btw, soy milk in the local supermarkets is not soy milk. Really. At first, I wondered if the Sg soy milk was very processed, it being so smooth and yummy. But no. T made some soy milk from scratch - i.e. real! - the other day and it tasted like the soy milk in Sg. I was reminded of Ah Yee's homemade soy milk years ago... So, never buy soy milk here unless it's an Asian brand or unless you want to feel gross *.*

Sprawling in front of laptop..

Am feeling sick the second night in a row. From overeating. Yes, my fault. Serves me right :(

We had Prima Taste laksa last night:



And you know, usually in Sg, I don't finish up the laksa soup. I finished it up yesterday.

And you know (again), usually in Sg, laksa itself makes a meal, if I have laksa at all. I also had half a big plate of bacon, chicken and cabbage stew.

This morning, we had breakfast at Le Peep with some friends. I ordered this big plate of scrabbled eggs with spinach and chicken, potatoes and an English muffin, and a flask - yes, a flask and I must have had 60% of that - of decaf coffee. And I stunned bits of Sito's pancakes.

Just now, we had the leftover laksa soup with some rice and noodles and separate meat and vege, followed by fruits, keropok and Yan Yan.

Now, I'm burping both coffee and random parts of dinner.

And my tummy is so big - all my fault, not baby's! - that I couldn't bring myself to give myself a pedicure in the bathroom just now. You know, pedicure, must bend over a bit. Tummy in the way *.*

It's been such a lazy Saturday. We hopped back into bed after breakfast to catch up on more sleep. Then I did some chores while he carried on sleeping. Finally woke him up to drink some barley. Then we stayed in bed chatting and playing games on the iPad. Wonder if we would be able to have such lazy weekend afternoons when we go back to Sg.. Maybe before baby is born cos after that, we'll be at its beck and call!

Back to food... Some stuff we've had since the last food update..

Sito tried to recreate 沙河粉 with chicken and prawn stock. Didn't look like it but it was quite nice!



Now, check this out - rojak ingredients!! Just you tiao, taupok, cucumber and bean sprouts. The peanuts were actually honey roasted peanuts from a can - I rolled a water bottle over them in a ziplock bag to crush them..



And I even used a plastic plate to make it look more "hawker centre"! And those were toothpicks, not satay sticks - purposely didn't take in the whole toothpicks :p



Got the "exotic" ingredients from Argyle last Saturday. We were wondering why Argyle was so crowded that day until we walked out of lunch into the LNY parade! Didn't expect to see lion dance and dragon dance here!





Think we happened to be in Argyle for the same parade last year but we caught only the firecracker part, if I remember correctly.

And on Argyle, on our way home from our previous trip there late last year, we found a "magical string" on my coat - got Sito to take a video, quite fun!

Looks and personality

Whenever we talk about how baby would look like, I would say that I don't need our kids to be good-looking; I'd rather them be friendly kids and happy adults.

But last night, we had a long conversation in bed, and an old adage came to me: A little beauty goes a long way.

I think "beauty" here refers to more than just good looks. Good looks are just one part of the whole beauty package. I recall a line from Sex and the City: Sexy is the thing I try to get them to see me as after I win them over with my personality. Well said, Miranda.

In situations as trivial as ordering food at a hawker centre, some beauty could get you better service, more vege, a little discount. Uncles and aunties like the pretty girl, the handsome boy, and also the funny OL and the plain young man who always strikes up a conversation.

And in situations that do matter, like landing a job or chasing skirts, the first impression can sometimes really make or break. And guess what the first impression is made up of?

I love looking at Sito. I always think he's good looking. But he says I'm subjective. Fine. He is no *insert name of yummy celeb*. But oh my, he charms me no end :) So that's his success in chasing skirts :p

But I'm certainly objective when I say he looks good in work wear, especially a well-tailored suit. Now that's a very good first impression before he opens his mouth and shows his smarts to interviewers. Oh yes, smarts are still important!

Yours truly looks good in a suit too, btw :) But not everyone does. For example, thin people. Really, I just realised this after years of fussing over my tummy! On the other hand, someone with some meat or muscles (oooh!) fill up a suit nicely.

And sometimes it's more than the clothes. A guy down the hall thought his beard would make him look more knowledgeable and reliable to prospective employers, but was told by his friend - bluntly - to shave it off. He took the advice and got a job! No more Shaggy! Of course he's also smart la... Oh, much of our conversation was actually on interviews as it is recruiting season right now..

So does this mean people who look and/or come across as less impressive are at a disadvantage?

I've had the opportunity to be part of an interview panel last time at work. First impressions seem to correlate with eventual success or failure. There was this pretty fresh grad, smart answers but rather tai tai and fragile - can she tahan the hours? We put her through to the next round but she gave us up. A mousy middle-age guy came for a higher-level job. Asked him the usual stuff but his replies were as mousy as him - rejected.

At the same time, we had a lot of interviewees who impressed at first sight but crumbled upon further scrutiny. On the other hand, I remember vividly, we had a timid and quiet fresh grad who looked lost and then looked like she was going to cry with each new question! But she managed to give sensible replies despite obvious stress. And she didn't cry. She was eventually hired.

I guess it takes the whole package to be considered favourably in job interviews. But a good first impression will give one person the edge over another if they both have the same aptitude.

So, baby, we don't need you to be very good looking - actually, you won't be cos your parents aren't the yummiest couple around hoho! - but some amount of looks will be much useful to you! Good luck in your development! *pat pat*