Wednesday, 22 February 2017

Reclaiming my baby

Think it was Sunday night when Yang woke at about 3 am and cried very loudly for N who was in the toilet. He was crying right outside our room and woke everyone up. Kai complained that DiDi was very noisy. Sito thought the only way was how Kai was trained - in our bed.

So on Tuesday, I instructed N to detach herself from Yang - in the day, no need to play with him, just watch him and reach out physically when necessary; at bedtime, no rubbing his legs and no massaging. I thought we should work on detaching him from N while seeking his attachment to us. There wasn't a noticeable response from Yang in the morning when N was less chirpy than usual towards him.

In the evening, I casually asked Yang whether he wanted to sleep in my bed. He said yes, and "then you can swing me!" He remembered that I told him that I would swing him in the morning if he would sleep in my bed. Kai of course wanted in as well - this boy would take any chance to sleep in our bed! :)

I was still rocking Yu when it was 8 pm. I got the two to put heads to pillows on our bed after some jumping around. Then, Yang went, "I want to wake up!" and left the room! Then he decided to sleep in his own bed. I let N take him. Soon, I heard Yang crying for N to sayang him. I saw from the camera that N was just sitting in the dark with Yang trying to get her closer to his bed. Yang also came to find me about three times, holding a book and crying but not saying anything. I sayang-ed his crying face and told him I'd find him soon. Sito came home around then I think..

When I settled Yu on our bed, I went in and offered to turn on the light to read the book to him. He agreed and N left the room quietly with no protest from Yang. We were happily reading the book one last time when Sito came in with Kai. And suddenly, Yang wanted to find N!! Sito thought it triggered a transition, that N was supposed to come in too. I thought it could also be because he was used to me being with Kai and he with N - so sad.

I can't remember what happened next - more on my memory loss next time. But at one point, I was sitting down to watch TV with Kai and Yang. Eventually, Sito whipped out the cane to send Yang to his bed with me.

My poor baby was standing on his bed crying for a while before he put his head on my leg. Yet, he was still saying that he didn't want Mama; he wanted N :( I could only say sorry to him - sorry for being a selfish Mama who is unwilling to share his love with the helper, sorry for making him cry so much.

It was almost 10 pm when Yang fell asleep. Poor Kai went to bed late as well. When Yu woke to nurse, I moved him to his bed and slept on Kai's bed so that Sito and Kai would have more space on our bed.

At 3.30 am or so, as indicated by my Mi Band 2 awake time (!), Yu was nursing and Yang woke. He went to find N who sat in the room until he fell asleep before leaving. But he woke again soon and N sat with him until he fell asleep and left. When he woke again soon, interesting, he only moved about in his bed. Then he called out to me, "Mama, can you sayang me?" Of course! :)

I beckoned him over and he rested on my legs. It was awkward with Yu in my arms. I managed to put Yu down in his bed as gently as I could moving just my upper body. Then Yang shifted upwards. As Yu was still shifting in his bed, I had to sayang both at the same time. And then, seriously, everything had to happen at the same time - Kai came into the room with a nosebleed!

He came whining to me then rushed away to grab a piece of tissue before coming to my side, still whining. Yang refused to let me move so I asked Kai to bring me more tissue. Kai got me the whole box so I managed to pinch his nose properly. And then, he needed to pee, with me pinching his nose!! At that point, Yang decided to find N - I don't know whether I felt disappointed or relieved!!

Anyway, we all went out of the room. Yang went to find N while I pinched Kai's nose as he peed and whined about being unable to see properly coz my hand pinching his nose was blocking his view. We ended up sitting at the dining table as we needed more tissue. And Yu started crying. Yang was hovering around us so I got him to wake Sito to settle Yu.

Then all but Yang went to our room. But Yang soon came in, saying he wanted to sleep on our bed. So up he went. For five seconds! Then Kai decided he wanted to sleep in his room too. So I managed to put Yu in our bed where he usually spends the rest of his night. Then I went over to find my older boys. Yang agreed to let N go back to sleep so I sat between Kai and Yang. Kai nestled close to me while Yang slept on my legs. Finally, both fell asleep. It was close to 5 am by then. I shifted them a little so that I could go back to my bed.

This morning, Kai woke close to 7 am while Yang woke past 7 am, shouting "it's morning time!" I gave them both a little swing :)

The boys on a different swing :p

This evening was way smoother. Yang was ok for me to be with me but he had to demonstrate to me how to sayang him on his neck (like massage) and how to massage his legs (by grabbing lightly) so that I could do it for him. Eventually, we fell asleep - me first :p Yang was sleeping on my waist when Sito came home and woke me. Then Kai went in. Both slept before 9 pm today, phew!

It's too soon to hope all will go well from here but I do hope there would be no serious regression. I do realise that this means I'll be damn tired when I start work - it was almost 10 pm by the time I finished showering and settling Yu just now. Also, Sito and I can bid date night bye bye until Yang can go to bed without an adult. Ah well, anything for better sleep for both us and the kids!

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