Sunday, 14 May 2017

A slightly different Mothers' Day

I don't celebrate Mothers' Day or what day very much. But today, I felt a little like the unseen mother in the picture below:


Source: Whatsapp circulation...

Kept my cool when Kai dissed the scrambled eggs he wanted early in the morning
After two consecutive nights of Yu staying awake for up to three hours, I was very happy that he slept better last night. When he last went down at about 5.45 am, I really wanted to sleep more with Yu. But they woke me at 6.30 am - I don't know how they had been up watching the clock! I just wanted them to eat breakfast on their own but... And then Kai didn't like "the sweet part" of the scrambled eggs, whatever that was coz I couldn't make it out.

Napped 25 min while Yu napped 30 min in my arms
It was very uncomfortable. I woke with a neck ache coz my whole head was tilted to my right to lean on the sofa. And I was drenched in sweat. Normal Sunday fare but boy, this baby is getting heavier!

Continued to carry Yu and even Yang though my back hurts so much
Yu was fussing a lot after his nap. Sito dozed off a bit before he left for home to prepare for his flight - oh ya, I'm a single mum until Thursday! So I carried him around. Then I couldn't take it and used the carrier. Just now, Yang asked me to carry him too.

Stayed strong
Yes, I don't celebrate Mothers' Day but it still hurt when, of all days, Kai said he didn't love me today coz I was so slow compared to N and Yang when crossing the road and he wanted to be fast. N said I was slow coz I was carrying Yu. But I was very honest with Kai that even if I didn't carry Yu, I couldn't run fast anyway! Kai looked at me for a second and said, "I love you now." I had to hold back tears.

Settled three kids for bedtime
Showering together with Yu without me having done a proper shower first was a first that I do not wish to repeat!

Nursing a cough through it all
It's been more than a week and my voice is still hoarse. The doctor was right - my throat inflammation has gone to my voice box. But the anti-inflammatory medicine is not suitable for breastfeeding. My phelgm has gone from clear to yellow in the past couple of days. If it doesn't clear up tomorrow, I might need a trip to the doctor again to get antibiotics.

~~~

I can't help but wonder how it was like for Mother, bringing three kids up without a maid. My father wasn't the hands-on type; he might not even be home much. Both grandmothers were working. I heard that MZ and I slept beautifully so I think that was how she went marketing - I recall waking up to no Mother in the house, sometimes feeling a bit scared. But we were definitely running all over the place too - I have memories of us standing and running on the sofas, hiding in the wardrobes among piles of clothes. No wonder there was a cane, and scoldings. Now I understand better though I don't necessarily agree with these. But I remember - I cannot understand the unforgivable curse.

Ah, all the complicated feelings on this day!

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