Well, I'm back in SG for a week now. It's time for me to script my overdue review. The past twenty odd days have seen enlightening moments of solitude as well as spirited open discussions with friends. The characters involved are, in order of appearance, mf the protagonist herself, strangers on the streets, Miki, more strangers, YX and SZ (don't be surprised!).
Um, pls bear with my disjoint paras, a manifest of my (sometimes?) disjoint thoughts..
The very first day unleashed a part of me that I didn't know existed. I went to Ikebukuro at 8pm, after Kitty land. Being Asian, I looked just like any other Japanese girl, albeit less fashionable. No one gave me a second look. Perhaps there wasn't anything really interesting to hold my attention but I found my thoughts beginning to stray to the strangers who were walking around me.
It was a rather cold night, I remember. Crowds of salary men in dark suits were passing me by. Groups of people were entering the eateries. Couples were huddling close in the biting wind. Physical vulnerability gives rise to emotional instabilty; suddenly, I felt a pang of loneliness.
The realisation rather surprised me. I didn't remember ever feeling lonely when I was alone. Bored, yes, but not lonely. For me, loneliness always happened in a group setting, when I felt there wasn't anyone to talk to even though I was surrounded by people I actually knew, people I called friends. I've always believed that being alone needs not equate loneliness and conversely, loneliness should not manifest itself only when I'm alone.
But that night, 1 Apr, between 8pm and 9pm, I was facing the undeniable doldrums of loneliness. And I was alone. I chose to embark on this solo trip and I felt lonely on the very first day?!
Then, I had a sudden thought, that how nice it would be if I had a hand to hold! I was reminded of that year in Oxford when I had ex's hand to warm myself as we walked down the wintry cobbled streets. Um, to make it clear, I was thinking of just anyone's hand in the cold, not him in particular.. Seemed that, for the first time in a while, I needed more than just myself. It scared me a little.
After so much of looking forward to Tokyo, arguably one of the most bustling cities on this side of the world, the excitement was all too quickly killed. That cold night at Ikebukuro had shown me the other side of the coin: a sole figure in a big city could be a lonely picture.
Suddenly, all the Jap dramas I watched came back to me. Sena in LV returned to his dark apartment shared with this woman he barely knew after a shitty day at his less-than-ideal job, grabbed a beer from the fridge and ended his day. Teppei (same actor) in Love Gen returned to his apartment from a shitty day at work and obligatory post-work drinks, grabbed a beer from the fridge and ended his day. I'm very sure I don't want that.
I imagine I stay at, say, where my ryokan is, at Chidoricho in southern Tokyo and I work in Shinjuku. Like the many I saw on my way to Hakone during Mon morning rush hours, I have to squeeze with 10,000 other molds of me in the private railway for 30min before changing to an equally crowded JR train to come out 15min later into a city of people moving as one, which (almost) systematically splits to move into their respective escalator or exit. Only, if I were one of them, I would be doing that every day. At this point, it becomes unimaginable.
Feeling tiny in Tokyo should not be strange, I guess. It is a big place afterall and the language is, while not exactly alien, it is not one I'm totally at ease with. That said, I wonder if language actually plays a part. What if I change the setting to.. HK? Then the Jap dramas are replaced by all the city novels by Amy Cheung, stories of urbanites who live alone with their aimless pursuits. I don't think I want that either.
Guess I have been naive..
It was little wonder how happy I was to be able to meet up with Miki on my return from Hakone. In the short four hours, we covered a fair bit of our lives since our last meeting years back. We talked about our friends, our respective relationships, our ideals. It's strange yet comforting to know that even though we have not been in close regular contact all this while, I always feel very at ease with her. Perhaps she's like the elder sister I never had, providing me with much guidance and a listening ear, yet never ever judging me, and willing to share herself with me too.
The days in Tokyo passed very quickly, especially the last two days when Na was there. We were too rushed and then too beaten to talk much about anything.
I was slightly under the weather by the time I reached SFO, where I spent my longest period of true R&R ever. The days of doing almost nothing apart from rare walks into campus and two visits to the city reminded me of the valuable days in between assignments and terms when slacking was totally permissible. But they were always interrupted by Bayesian or Euler. Those days allowed me to collect my thoughts, undisturbed.
Two particular late night chats with YX left me with things to ponder over. One was, as I've mentioned before, a general discussion on religious beliefs but I guess that's not the purpose of this entry. The other was all about ourselves, our problems and uncertainties.
What I've realised about myself is that, I don't know what I want - yet. There were times in the past when people asked me what exactly I wanted, my next birthday present, or if I was shopping, a particular top in whatever particular colour. My answer was usually that I didn't know what I wanted, but I knew what I didn't want and I would know what I wanted when I saw it. If you're still following this weird train of thoughts, may I continue that I now suspect that that forms the mould of my very (passive) being, that, be it a material thing or something more intangible/important, like my career, or in terms of relationship, I don't know what I want but I know what I don't want and I'll only know what I want when the thing I want falls right in front of me.
It was the morning before the day I left, I think, when I chatted with SZ via MSN. Realised that actually we were both in rather similar situations in sec school but being the way we were (are?), we never knew until almost ten years later. We were never close in sec school. In fact I myself wasn't all that close with my class at all. If we did not go to the same JC and ended up in the same class, I tolde her that we would probably nod and go our separate ways if we happened to bump on the streets today, if we didn't pretend not to recognise each other in the first place, as had happened with some other people.
It reinforced my rather recent belief in this thing called karma. I read about it at about the same time when Yan first shared with me on the same subject. I've since recognised its possible existence but I have yet to figure out for myself what form it takes for me. Reason is there are things that are caused by too many coincidences for them to be mere coincidences. Like, if I didn't hate being in my sec school (class; to be fair, I enjoyed my ECA, as they were then called), I wouldn't have gone to NJ while the majority went to another. Similarly for SZ, or we wouldn't have ended up in the same class. And Na had wanted to go another JC but there she was, a blue uniform of a different shade, else we would never have known her. And the so many people who could have gone anywhere but they made this choice, which led to the KLK of today. Karma pretty much sums up 天时，地利，人和!
The day before I left reminded me of the days leading to 26 Sep 2003, when Oxford officially became part of my memories. It was as if I was going to lose something, combined with the fact that I was returning to face the reality of working for survival. Really, that's what it is right? If I don't need to eat, I will not work; I'll travel and I'll dance and sing and perhaps learn how to paint or play the piano. But no, everyone needs to eat.
Well, there is no conclusion; it should suffice that I have found no major regret in my life thus far, only some cracks and road blocks along the way, and mostly beautiful scenery. I feel that I should be, and rightfully so, grateful for all that has happened to me, both the good and the bad. Because I like the mf you see now, the mf shaped by her past. May not be perfect but perfection can be a scary thing for flesh and blood..
And so the long bout of on-off moodswings since end of Jan (yes, it's been that long) has come to an end with my trip. What happens from this moment will further influence the mf of tomorrow. I'll continue, happily, with my existence until I figure out what's in store for me and take it from there. However a dull existence to the unknowing eye, it's still mine and man, am I going to have fun!
Saturday, 30 April 2005
Wednesday, 27 April 2005
Cheered by a cute email
Oh dear, this is too adorable..
Source: Email from SX
So, am I cracked??
Anyway, what kind of animal is that?! Not that I care, it's so cute it doesn't matter if it's carnivorous :)
*Blink*
Actually.. If it's carnivorous, don't let it come near my sweet flesh!
Btw, Ker said I exude bimboism.. Well, can't deny that, but one day I WILL defend the 20% of me that's so totally like the rest of you :) I will, you just wait..
So, am I cracked??
Anyway, what kind of animal is that?! Not that I care, it's so cute it doesn't matter if it's carnivorous :)
*Blink*
Actually.. If it's carnivorous, don't let it come near my sweet flesh!
Btw, Ker said I exude bimboism.. Well, can't deny that, but one day I WILL defend the 20% of me that's so totally like the rest of you :) I will, you just wait..
Tuesday, 26 April 2005
Rough thoughts, inspired by work
Was working, scribbling some thoughts for a discussion later (it's almost 6pm now) on, well, something. Then related thoughts squeezed themselves into my wee brain.
What is special about SG that will make people flock here for leisure, or to stick around for the rest of their lives (or at least for some decades before retiring cheaply elsewhere)?
*mf thinks a bit*
Nothing much, really.
I think, if I were a visitor from a developed country, I need not feel like a tourist in SG; most things that can be found back home can be found here. From LV to Zara, from Starbucks to KFC. We may not have Macy's or Cheesecake Factory (oh my god, that was yummy!) but we hit back with This Fashion (forget Takashimaya, it's not ours) and S11 kopitiams. Simply put, we are just like any other modern city, top and bottom ends, 21st century and older stuff, all available within easy access of each other.
But I felt so much like a tourist in Japan even though I could roughly blend in based on just my Asian appearance. The difference is in the clothes we wear, the hairstyle we sport, and perhaps even the way we handle our rubbish..?
There seems to be this subtle, nameless difference in the air or what, that makes places like Japan and London stand out uniquely. What have we, Orchard Rd? Just like another British high street. Chinatown? The Chinatowns in American cities fare way better.
Perhaps our food or spoken languages then. Ok, granted HBD flats with bamboo poles heavy with wet clothing hanging out may be quite a sight.. But are these sufficient for us to get enough immigrants to grow our population?? (Yes, pls recall Budget Speech 2004 para 3.36) Any ideas, peeps?
Maybe more on this in future, if I feel like it, when my eyes are not popping out from a whole day of reading. I'm just feeling sian that SG seems so unexciting! *Grumbles grumbles*
Didn't manage to click on publish before discussion, it's now 730pm, time to say ciao!
Ok, last point: I think what we lack is vibrancy, not the kind of economic vibrancy brought about by new casinos but the kind of cultural vibes that may accompany the casino complex. Complexes.
What is special about SG that will make people flock here for leisure, or to stick around for the rest of their lives (or at least for some decades before retiring cheaply elsewhere)?
*mf thinks a bit*
Nothing much, really.
I think, if I were a visitor from a developed country, I need not feel like a tourist in SG; most things that can be found back home can be found here. From LV to Zara, from Starbucks to KFC. We may not have Macy's or Cheesecake Factory (oh my god, that was yummy!) but we hit back with This Fashion (forget Takashimaya, it's not ours) and S11 kopitiams. Simply put, we are just like any other modern city, top and bottom ends, 21st century and older stuff, all available within easy access of each other.
But I felt so much like a tourist in Japan even though I could roughly blend in based on just my Asian appearance. The difference is in the clothes we wear, the hairstyle we sport, and perhaps even the way we handle our rubbish..?
There seems to be this subtle, nameless difference in the air or what, that makes places like Japan and London stand out uniquely. What have we, Orchard Rd? Just like another British high street. Chinatown? The Chinatowns in American cities fare way better.
Perhaps our food or spoken languages then. Ok, granted HBD flats with bamboo poles heavy with wet clothing hanging out may be quite a sight.. But are these sufficient for us to get enough immigrants to grow our population?? (Yes, pls recall Budget Speech 2004 para 3.36) Any ideas, peeps?
Maybe more on this in future, if I feel like it, when my eyes are not popping out from a whole day of reading. I'm just feeling sian that SG seems so unexciting! *Grumbles grumbles*
Didn't manage to click on publish before discussion, it's now 730pm, time to say ciao!
Ok, last point: I think what we lack is vibrancy, not the kind of economic vibrancy brought about by new casinos but the kind of cultural vibes that may accompany the casino complex. Complexes.
Number game
Oh no, feeling sleepy, better take a fiver from work!
*Excuse to blog*
I did maths/stats so let's play with numbers. Guess how they are related to me:
1.68
80
5*
10-12
6.5-7
25
39-40
1.73-1.77
40-50
8-1
421
3/9
Some obvious, many obscure. If anyone can solve the full dozen, I'll buy you a drink, no matter who you are :)
Deadline: whenever I feel like revealing answers! Could be coming long weekend..?
Update
Eh, the * in 5* IS a number.. Aiya so obvious what 5* is now! :p
*Excuse to blog*
I did maths/stats so let's play with numbers. Guess how they are related to me:
1.68
80
5*
10-12
6.5-7
25
39-40
1.73-1.77
40-50
8-1
421
3/9
Some obvious, many obscure. If anyone can solve the full dozen, I'll buy you a drink, no matter who you are :)
Deadline: whenever I feel like revealing answers! Could be coming long weekend..?
Update
Eh, the * in 5* IS a number.. Aiya so obvious what 5* is now! :p
First attempt at financial control
I found a way to save hundreds of bucks: blow-dry my hair
Serious! For the longest time, I couldn't be bothered with the hair-dryer esp when I got back late. Mother also complained about the noise from my powerful dryer - couldn't hear TV, couldn't sleep.
But that night when I got back from trip, I decided to blow-dry my hair cos I didn't want her to nag at me on my first night back for sleeping with wet hair.. (See, I dry hair, she complains; I don't dry hair, she complains too! Kill me..)
Anyway, the result was that I woke with beautiful obedient hair the next morning, like it's newly rebonded! I've tested it for a few days now, so I'm very convinced :) My comb's exile will be infinitely extended..
So no more myths about blow-drying drying out precious hair - as long as you follow these rules:
1) keep a nice distance between hair and nozzle
2) 90% dry will do
3) end with a blast of cold air
4) some leave-on conditioner will help coarser hair
Now I can lengthen duration between salon trips, ie save money! :)
Serious! For the longest time, I couldn't be bothered with the hair-dryer esp when I got back late. Mother also complained about the noise from my powerful dryer - couldn't hear TV, couldn't sleep.
But that night when I got back from trip, I decided to blow-dry my hair cos I didn't want her to nag at me on my first night back for sleeping with wet hair.. (See, I dry hair, she complains; I don't dry hair, she complains too! Kill me..)
Anyway, the result was that I woke with beautiful obedient hair the next morning, like it's newly rebonded! I've tested it for a few days now, so I'm very convinced :) My comb's exile will be infinitely extended..
So no more myths about blow-drying drying out precious hair - as long as you follow these rules:
1) keep a nice distance between hair and nozzle
2) 90% dry will do
3) end with a blast of cold air
4) some leave-on conditioner will help coarser hair
Now I can lengthen duration between salon trips, ie save money! :)
Sunday, 24 April 2005
Digression
Erm, I was supposed to write review of myself and trip but ended up roaming my lappy instead. Came across a number of (stupid) things:
1) My old personal webpages at geocities - created about four years ago and died 2-3 years later. It has six sections listed on the homepage:
i) Who is Gnoofyem? - an amazingly short intro of myself from birth to JC. Recalling my long posts, I thought the 2-page summary was awesome. What has happened to my summary skills??
ii) Music Haven - for my fave songs and their relevance to each phase of my life.
童年 - “记忆已模糊，只能凭这仅存的照片里找回些许当年的经过。”
少年 - “懵懂的岁月，有辛酸的，有快乐的，有悲伤的，也有甜蜜的。每一种感觉都有它保留的价值，因为没有它们，就没有今天的我…”
成年后 - “过去的20年，是否已肯定了将来要走的路？也许，现在才是生命的开始…”
iii) Events - empty page, think it was supposed to be like a blog.. Btw, I have no idea what a blog was back then!
iv) Gnoofyem Goes Places - largest section, dedicated to my travels
v) Maths & Stats - recreational la.. The Golden Ratio is the one and only feature.
vi) Links - my IE homepage on lappy, portal to various websites
Maybe I'll relaunch this thing one day with just (ii) and (v). One day..
2) Another personal webpage but anonymous. It's actually more like a blog but MANUAL! Well, told you I didn't know what a blog was.. Two pathetic paras centred on grumbles. Not pretty.
3) All the poems from the Dreams of the Red Chamber! I spent about a year and many mealtimes reading the whole novel while in Oxford. Was going to start on another Chinese classic but the language used in that was too horribly difficult so I decided to take it easy on my digestive system and watch VCDs instead.
4) Two Chinese compositions, apparently incomplete. Perhaps I should finish the job soon though the origin of one of them eludes me..
5) My recipes! Including the brownie recipe that makes brownies like Betty Crocker, the Portuguese egg tarts, and the super rich French choc cake!
Before I forget, Sito wanted to see his name here so, events from dessert (I had one bite of apple pie) last night..
(roughly..)
mf: My eyes look so small in many photos and Mother jokingly suggested I "cut" them to make them bigger..
Sito: You don't need to make your eyes bigger; make them bigger! *Points to chest (mine)*
mf: .. What's wrong with these?!
There, Sito, happy? :p
All the best to CW who is starting work tomorrow!
1) My old personal webpages at geocities - created about four years ago and died 2-3 years later. It has six sections listed on the homepage:
i) Who is Gnoofyem? - an amazingly short intro of myself from birth to JC. Recalling my long posts, I thought the 2-page summary was awesome. What has happened to my summary skills??
ii) Music Haven - for my fave songs and their relevance to each phase of my life.
童年 - “记忆已模糊，只能凭这仅存的照片里找回些许当年的经过。”
少年 - “懵懂的岁月，有辛酸的，有快乐的，有悲伤的，也有甜蜜的。每一种感觉都有它保留的价值，因为没有它们，就没有今天的我…”
成年后 - “过去的20年，是否已肯定了将来要走的路？也许，现在才是生命的开始…”
iii) Events - empty page, think it was supposed to be like a blog.. Btw, I have no idea what a blog was back then!
iv) Gnoofyem Goes Places - largest section, dedicated to my travels
v) Maths & Stats - recreational la.. The Golden Ratio is the one and only feature.
vi) Links - my IE homepage on lappy, portal to various websites
Maybe I'll relaunch this thing one day with just (ii) and (v). One day..
2) Another personal webpage but anonymous. It's actually more like a blog but MANUAL! Well, told you I didn't know what a blog was.. Two pathetic paras centred on grumbles. Not pretty.
3) All the poems from the Dreams of the Red Chamber! I spent about a year and many mealtimes reading the whole novel while in Oxford. Was going to start on another Chinese classic but the language used in that was too horribly difficult so I decided to take it easy on my digestive system and watch VCDs instead.
4) Two Chinese compositions, apparently incomplete. Perhaps I should finish the job soon though the origin of one of them eludes me..
5) My recipes! Including the brownie recipe that makes brownies like Betty Crocker, the Portuguese egg tarts, and the super rich French choc cake!
Before I forget, Sito wanted to see his name here so, events from dessert (I had one bite of apple pie) last night..
(roughly..)
mf: My eyes look so small in many photos and Mother jokingly suggested I "cut" them to make them bigger..
Sito: You don't need to make your eyes bigger; make them bigger! *Points to chest (mine)*
mf: .. What's wrong with these?!
There, Sito, happy? :p
All the best to CW who is starting work tomorrow!
Saturday, 23 April 2005
Back in SG
Back for two days now, still feeling pretty slack.. At least I haven't been sleeping all day! Guess I was lucky, cos both flights were rather empty and I had the whole row to myself so I could be more or less horizontal and drowsy when they dimmed the lights :)
Did this personality test, introduced by Na and SZ. Check out my results:
I'm not sure it's all accurate, eg I was rated low on paranoia. Hmmm.. Let me give you a counter example!
I was having kopi with Kel earlier and I was saying how I replied all my test messages at the airport when I arrived. Then I suddenly remembered that Tok hadn't replied me after two days, and he wasn't seen on msn for ages too while I was YX's. Oh no, is he ok? I thought.. I picked up my phone..
Turned out he forgot to reply and he wasn't online cos he was busy with studies and his bro was using comp.. Kel looked amused..
The last time I went paranoid like that was, well, rather recent. At YX's :p Na didn't reply to my email in which I asked her something. She was having a bad cough when we parted in Japan so I was like, oh dear, is she ok? Another email/sms to her. Turned out she was tired from work so didn't check email..
Well, I might as well come clean with the other incident. That was some months ago. I asked Hup about going to Union via sms. No reply for a couple of days. Thurs came and I went to Union. No sight of him. No sms reply. Mobile was off. And no one picked up landline! What happened?! Turned out either of his out-of-batt mobile or charger was in hostel and I got his landline wrong..
What a baka :p
You may come to your own conclusions about the other traits while baka no mf leaves to watch more Kenshin..
Did this personality test, introduced by Na and SZ. Check out my results:
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid Disorder: | Low |
| Schizoid Disorder: | Low |
| Schizotypal Disorder: | Moderate |
| Antisocial Disorder: | Low |
| Borderline Disorder: | Low |
| Histrionic Disorder: | High |
| Narcissistic Disorder: | Moderate |
| Avoidant Disorder: | Moderate |
| Dependent Disorder: | Low |
| Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: | High |
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- | |
I'm not sure it's all accurate, eg I was rated low on paranoia. Hmmm.. Let me give you a counter example!
I was having kopi with Kel earlier and I was saying how I replied all my test messages at the airport when I arrived. Then I suddenly remembered that Tok hadn't replied me after two days, and he wasn't seen on msn for ages too while I was YX's. Oh no, is he ok? I thought.. I picked up my phone..
Turned out he forgot to reply and he wasn't online cos he was busy with studies and his bro was using comp.. Kel looked amused..
The last time I went paranoid like that was, well, rather recent. At YX's :p Na didn't reply to my email in which I asked her something. She was having a bad cough when we parted in Japan so I was like, oh dear, is she ok? Another email/sms to her. Turned out she was tired from work so didn't check email..
Well, I might as well come clean with the other incident. That was some months ago. I asked Hup about going to Union via sms. No reply for a couple of days. Thurs came and I went to Union. No sight of him. No sms reply. Mobile was off. And no one picked up landline! What happened?! Turned out either of his out-of-batt mobile or charger was in hostel and I got his landline wrong..
What a baka :p
You may come to your own conclusions about the other traits while baka no mf leaves to watch more Kenshin..
Wednesday, 20 April 2005
Last day in Stanford
We packed two suitcases last night, one for each of Erwin and me to bring back for YX. Then he started to clear out some stuff to dump. When he realised he had that much expired medicine, a bout of hysteric laughter ensued.. Honestly, I've never seen him laugh until like that! I thought he went bonkers :p
Slept at 3am after a few episodes of Kenshin and woke at 11am this morning to carry on watching.
mf is hooked!
Tore myself away to get some shortening from Cheryl so brownie is happily crisping in the oven now :) But the poor girl looked quite ill; will have to freeze a brownie for her to eat when she gets better, though she was munching on cookies - and feeding me a host of other tidbits - when I was there! Gaaar..
She was again saying I really should go walk around in such weather. So when I went out to meet YX for lunch, I made an effort to take in my surroundings..
It's really sunny and warm. Everything looks pretty, relaxed and peaceful. Cyclists on the streets reminded me of Oxford in good weather, a rarity really. But I realised that reality beckons 10,000 miles away..
One crepe later, it was off to the bookstore cafe. I grabbed a book on Michelangelo and sat there with my ice mocha while YX worked with his Apple. Quite surprised that the book totally gripped me; I'm not one to revel in non-fiction. But I guess it's a story too, of the period in his life when he was painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. I bought it :)
Source: mf
Suddenly felt this sadness on the way back, the kind you feel when you're about to leave a nice place - 离愁.. So I slowed down and let my eyes wander around me. Very nice feeling but nothing much to see. So I took random shots of my happy relaxed self.
Check out the blue of the sky, lovely..
Source: mf
Really wonder when I can possibly do this again, sighs..
Slept at 3am after a few episodes of Kenshin and woke at 11am this morning to carry on watching.
mf is hooked!
Tore myself away to get some shortening from Cheryl so brownie is happily crisping in the oven now :) But the poor girl looked quite ill; will have to freeze a brownie for her to eat when she gets better, though she was munching on cookies - and feeding me a host of other tidbits - when I was there! Gaaar..
She was again saying I really should go walk around in such weather. So when I went out to meet YX for lunch, I made an effort to take in my surroundings..
It's really sunny and warm. Everything looks pretty, relaxed and peaceful. Cyclists on the streets reminded me of Oxford in good weather, a rarity really. But I realised that reality beckons 10,000 miles away..
One crepe later, it was off to the bookstore cafe. I grabbed a book on Michelangelo and sat there with my ice mocha while YX worked with his Apple. Quite surprised that the book totally gripped me; I'm not one to revel in non-fiction. But I guess it's a story too, of the period in his life when he was painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. I bought it :)
Suddenly felt this sadness on the way back, the kind you feel when you're about to leave a nice place - 离愁.. So I slowed down and let my eyes wander around me. Very nice feeling but nothing much to see. So I took random shots of my happy relaxed self.
Check out the blue of the sky, lovely..
Really wonder when I can possibly do this again, sighs..
Tuesday, 19 April 2005
Latest too-much-time-on-hand thing mf did..
Erm, I have obsessively captioned all my trip photos in my photo archive on Yahoo.. So if anyone's interested, link's on the left..
Oh, Kel, I took this shot ESPECIALLY FOR YOU cos I was imagining you rolling down :p Sorry but your JC figure is still imprinted deep in my head!
Source: mf
Oh, Kel, I took this shot ESPECIALLY FOR YOU cos I was imagining you rolling down :p Sorry but your JC figure is still imprinted deep in my head!
Randoms - yes I'm very creative with titles
Ok, skirt returned, and the promised picture..
(That's really me, just feeling cranky..)
Source: mf, WonderBranding
Then I roamed VS for 1.5hour, not that it's a big store but I was really indecisive. Bought three triangles, a pair of pyjamas trousers (which I shall wear out) and a wrap thing that I found interesting. Would love to get my hands on a pretty bra but 1) very ex, and 2) I apparently wear a rare size in this shop @#$%^&*!!!
Would much prefer baking brownies now than blogging but there's no butter nor enough vege oil in the kitchen. So I'm slacking here again.. Like this morning when I was woken up by YX's alarm clock (which didn't wake him). I sat at this same spot with my hands in the same position and my eyes looking the same two directions - screen and keyboard.
This morning, YX and Cheryl were saying I should go around school at least. But I have! I've seen the Oval, the Rodin sculptures, Hoover Tower, Memorial Church.. I even alighted at Tresidder to grab a Jamba Juice on my way back from VS.. That, btw, was my only meal of the day, albeit liquid. Haven't been feeling particularly hungry since I arrived here; been eating for the sake of eating.. Bad hur?
Oh, apparently, I look interesting and/or pretty cutting meat. After I changed my Friendster primary photo (yes to the one where I was cutting meat) number of profile views went up like never before and compliments flew into inbox.
Off to Kenshin.. Blog overkill already :p
“オロッ？”
:)
(That's really me, just feeling cranky..)
Then I roamed VS for 1.5hour, not that it's a big store but I was really indecisive. Bought three triangles, a pair of pyjamas trousers (which I shall wear out) and a wrap thing that I found interesting. Would love to get my hands on a pretty bra but 1) very ex, and 2) I apparently wear a rare size in this shop @#$%^&*!!!
Would much prefer baking brownies now than blogging but there's no butter nor enough vege oil in the kitchen. So I'm slacking here again.. Like this morning when I was woken up by YX's alarm clock (which didn't wake him). I sat at this same spot with my hands in the same position and my eyes looking the same two directions - screen and keyboard.
This morning, YX and Cheryl were saying I should go around school at least. But I have! I've seen the Oval, the Rodin sculptures, Hoover Tower, Memorial Church.. I even alighted at Tresidder to grab a Jamba Juice on my way back from VS.. That, btw, was my only meal of the day, albeit liquid. Haven't been feeling particularly hungry since I arrived here; been eating for the sake of eating.. Bad hur?
Oh, apparently, I look interesting and/or pretty cutting meat. After I changed my Friendster primary photo (yes to the one where I was cutting meat) number of profile views went up like never before and compliments flew into inbox.
Off to Kenshin.. Blog overkill already :p
“オロッ？”
:)
Monday, 18 April 2005
I've got blood on my hands..
Back for the day! Morning we went out to fetch YX's friend Erwin from airport; he's here for some conference in San Jose. We drove straight to Taqueria Cancun in SF city for lunch, satisfying mexican food :) Then we started our adventure from Bay Bridge, after which we made a quick stop at Fisherman's Wharf - I was there on Thurs but Sun was horribly crowded! - before turning to Golden Gate Bridge.
This was taken at Crissy Field, a fantastic vista point for the bridge. Very nice right? (Bridge, mf with messy hair.. Oops, and YX of course..)
Source: mf
The next stop was supposed to the the Palace of Fine Arts but we made a wrong turn onto the highway leading to the Golden Gate Bridge, thanks to an indecisive VCom that was me =o After exiting the freeway, I thought we should head back instead, since YX was having three consecutive meetings this evening. So we drove back via another vista point where the pretty SF reservoir was visible. I've only been to MacRitchie in SG, which was, um, "incomparable".
More photos in my photo archive..
Now that I'm comfortably seated, let's recall happy and yes, bloody, events of yesterday, after I dumped my clothes in the dryer.
We drove out to Gombei for a yummy Japanese dinner. I know I've just been to Japan, but hey, I can never get enough of 日本料理 :) What followed was a heavenly treat..
White chocolate chunk macadamia nut cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory!!!
Source: mf
The smooth cheesecake and the generous filling of macadamia combined with the thickest whipped cream ever, made for a dessert worth killing for. And check out the Orea crust too.. But damn sinful.. Am already regretting my added blubber.. I must keep the following in mind: a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips! And tummy too..
We drove from University Avenue to Santana Row at San Jose. It was a rather upclass area with mansionettes above boutiques and restaurants. There was a pavilion with a huge chess set surrounded by a number of normal chess tables. Some people were just standing/seated there, enjoying a night of chess. But we passed them by and headed for a pub. Then, guess what, I didn't have a photo ID to prove I'm over 21 and I was refused entry!
=/
Decided to head back to get my passport and find a pub nearby instead. So we did. And we sat at an Irish pub on Castro St (I think). Oh, this bouncer didn't bother with ID, gaaar!
It was 130am or about when we left the place. YX decided we should drive up Skyline Boulevard again. Uh oh.. My first day here, we bought a pint of icecream and drove up that road to a vista point. I got carsick for it was one super winding mountain road ~.~
No!!!!
But this time, his turns were slower and smoother. Ok..
And what a view up there! Alright, so most photos turn out to be like below but to the non-digital eye, it was simply marvellous.. It was just a pity the clouds hid the stars.
Source: mf
We were lucky cos this lasted for maybe two minutes. It was cold and as we went back to the car to have a comfortable yet warm view, a fog swept in and suddenly, the whole expanse of city lights went out! So we talked. Another conversation to collate into another entry at the end of this trip..
Engine came to life once more when bladders demanded so; didn't wish to entertain thoughts of fog condensation on butt :p We went down the other way to take the freeway back instead of the winding road. But this other way was rather winding at the beginning too. Combined with the fog and water condensation, we should really be going slow but it was 430am and there was no other car, so..
The accident happened very fast. A cute furry thing was scurrying across the road. We jammed on the brakes but it was too late.. Poor skunk.. =( A little while later, we passed by some deer. I thought they were looking at us reprovingly.. =( We had repented by then and slowed down. But the smell of roadkill stayed in my nostrils for a long time..
Resolution: I will not drive where animals like to cross the road.
This was taken at Crissy Field, a fantastic vista point for the bridge. Very nice right? (Bridge, mf with messy hair.. Oops, and YX of course..)
The next stop was supposed to the the Palace of Fine Arts but we made a wrong turn onto the highway leading to the Golden Gate Bridge, thanks to an indecisive VCom that was me =o After exiting the freeway, I thought we should head back instead, since YX was having three consecutive meetings this evening. So we drove back via another vista point where the pretty SF reservoir was visible. I've only been to MacRitchie in SG, which was, um, "incomparable".
More photos in my photo archive..
Now that I'm comfortably seated, let's recall happy and yes, bloody, events of yesterday, after I dumped my clothes in the dryer.
We drove out to Gombei for a yummy Japanese dinner. I know I've just been to Japan, but hey, I can never get enough of 日本料理 :) What followed was a heavenly treat..
White chocolate chunk macadamia nut cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory!!!
The smooth cheesecake and the generous filling of macadamia combined with the thickest whipped cream ever, made for a dessert worth killing for. And check out the Orea crust too.. But damn sinful.. Am already regretting my added blubber.. I must keep the following in mind: a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips! And tummy too..
We drove from University Avenue to Santana Row at San Jose. It was a rather upclass area with mansionettes above boutiques and restaurants. There was a pavilion with a huge chess set surrounded by a number of normal chess tables. Some people were just standing/seated there, enjoying a night of chess. But we passed them by and headed for a pub. Then, guess what, I didn't have a photo ID to prove I'm over 21 and I was refused entry!
=/
Decided to head back to get my passport and find a pub nearby instead. So we did. And we sat at an Irish pub on Castro St (I think). Oh, this bouncer didn't bother with ID, gaaar!
It was 130am or about when we left the place. YX decided we should drive up Skyline Boulevard again. Uh oh.. My first day here, we bought a pint of icecream and drove up that road to a vista point. I got carsick for it was one super winding mountain road ~.~
No!!!!
But this time, his turns were slower and smoother. Ok..
And what a view up there! Alright, so most photos turn out to be like below but to the non-digital eye, it was simply marvellous.. It was just a pity the clouds hid the stars.
We were lucky cos this lasted for maybe two minutes. It was cold and as we went back to the car to have a comfortable yet warm view, a fog swept in and suddenly, the whole expanse of city lights went out! So we talked. Another conversation to collate into another entry at the end of this trip..
Engine came to life once more when bladders demanded so; didn't wish to entertain thoughts of fog condensation on butt :p We went down the other way to take the freeway back instead of the winding road. But this other way was rather winding at the beginning too. Combined with the fog and water condensation, we should really be going slow but it was 430am and there was no other car, so..
The accident happened very fast. A cute furry thing was scurrying across the road. We jammed on the brakes but it was too late.. Poor skunk.. =( A little while later, we passed by some deer. I thought they were looking at us reprovingly.. =( We had repented by then and slowed down. But the smell of roadkill stayed in my nostrils for a long time..
Resolution: I will not drive where animals like to cross the road.
Sunday, 17 April 2005
Randoms, cos I'm waiting for laundry now
Been reading Na's blog, finally updated.. For the benefit of those who do not have access to her blog, she said something funny like, when we were at the ryokan bath, she would subconsciously avert her eyes from my bikini area and focus on my face instead.. Mmm, actually I don't care if you see my never-been-tanned whites, BUT NOT MY TUMMY PLS! :p
Had a very very nice wine party last night with YX and friends. The living room lights were put out but scented candles were lit, complete with nice jazz and some reds and a white. Oh and the brownies I made yesterday morning of course, heated up in the microwave.
At first felt a bit strange cos I didn't know some of them, and those I knew, not very well. So I was in his room chatting with Na and CW online for some time before I told myself I should not be anti-social and tore myself away from the comp. Turned out that I thoroughly enjoyed it actually, friendly people with nice ambience :) Daniel and Audrina also demo swing, looked fun!
Ended up sleeping only at 4am or around. And hey I was feeling sleeping! Meaning I should be getting adjusted to the time lag already. Just that I'll be heading back to SG in a few days' time.. Perhaps better not to adjust? Kenshin for me tonight then!
So we woke really late today. But still managed to get to two shops before they closed (actually we left the first one after they closed and the second one was already cleaning up by the time we arrived but they were waiting for someone who called, so..)
Shopping again? Yes but this was planned, ok.. Well, part of.. I had wanted to buy a pair of court shoes and a pair of open-toe sandals for standard and latin ballroom respectively, since SG stores generally do not stock large sizes for my big feet.
Flashback to sec school: remember how we learn the formulae for sin, cos and tan? TOA-CAH-SOH :p
Anyway, I bought a pair of pink Blochs instead, from the first shop for only USD79. Not an intended purchase, I know I know, but it's good for both salsa and Amore hip hop/jazz classes :) The second shop stocked more ballroom shoes but the colours were mostly flesh tones and honestly, those were not the nicest flesh tones I've seen. So I bought a shoe brush and left. Good thing is at least I now know my shoe size (freaking UK 7 for closed toe!) and can order straight from UK website, cheaper actually.
Oh the Blochs made me realise something: that I should return the expensive skirt. The price is one factor. The more important reason is that I now see nothing too special about it; felt happier holding the shoes than the skirt. Not to mention I can fall out of love just as easily, fickle mf :p There, settled.
Going out for dinner soon, think we're having Japanese then Cheesecake Factory for dessert :)
Had a very very nice wine party last night with YX and friends. The living room lights were put out but scented candles were lit, complete with nice jazz and some reds and a white. Oh and the brownies I made yesterday morning of course, heated up in the microwave.
At first felt a bit strange cos I didn't know some of them, and those I knew, not very well. So I was in his room chatting with Na and CW online for some time before I told myself I should not be anti-social and tore myself away from the comp. Turned out that I thoroughly enjoyed it actually, friendly people with nice ambience :) Daniel and Audrina also demo swing, looked fun!
Ended up sleeping only at 4am or around. And hey I was feeling sleeping! Meaning I should be getting adjusted to the time lag already. Just that I'll be heading back to SG in a few days' time.. Perhaps better not to adjust? Kenshin for me tonight then!
So we woke really late today. But still managed to get to two shops before they closed (actually we left the first one after they closed and the second one was already cleaning up by the time we arrived but they were waiting for someone who called, so..)
Shopping again? Yes but this was planned, ok.. Well, part of.. I had wanted to buy a pair of court shoes and a pair of open-toe sandals for standard and latin ballroom respectively, since SG stores generally do not stock large sizes for my big feet.
Flashback to sec school: remember how we learn the formulae for sin, cos and tan? TOA-CAH-SOH :p
Anyway, I bought a pair of pink Blochs instead, from the first shop for only USD79. Not an intended purchase, I know I know, but it's good for both salsa and Amore hip hop/jazz classes :) The second shop stocked more ballroom shoes but the colours were mostly flesh tones and honestly, those were not the nicest flesh tones I've seen. So I bought a shoe brush and left. Good thing is at least I now know my shoe size (freaking UK 7 for closed toe!) and can order straight from UK website, cheaper actually.
Oh the Blochs made me realise something: that I should return the expensive skirt. The price is one factor. The more important reason is that I now see nothing too special about it; felt happier holding the shoes than the skirt. Not to mention I can fall out of love just as easily, fickle mf :p There, settled.
Going out for dinner soon, think we're having Japanese then Cheesecake Factory for dessert :)
Saturday, 16 April 2005
mf's first lesson
The teacher
Source: mf
The student
Source: mf
Hee hee :)
YX rented a car for the weekend. We were already parked at his place after a trip to the shopping centre when we were talking about driving etc and we decided to go to a ulu carpark to let me try.
So I did!
Pretty nervous and anxious before I took to the wheel. But when I positioned myself in the driver seat, it felt much less unnerving for some unknown reason. It's just like breaking out in cold sweat just before the stage lights shine on me and immediately regaining composure when I start singing. Or being totally frozen with apprehension outside that interview room but appearing confident on the other side of the door. Yes, that kind of feeling.. But I digress.
So it was that I found the car a much less daunting toy than I thought it was/might be. Made 3,000 turns around the carpark, tried signalling, tried braking, tried accelerating. But I never went beyond 20mph :p At times when I steered too far left or right or made some mistake, I got gan cheong and that's when you would see me look a bit scared *.* Else, YX said I've been a pretty decent student :)
Been thinking about getting that licence lately but I wasn't sure if I actually dared to step on the accelerator at all. Now I feel rather tempted to sign up with SSDCL. Just wondering how many people will dare to sit in my car..? :p
The student
Hee hee :)
YX rented a car for the weekend. We were already parked at his place after a trip to the shopping centre when we were talking about driving etc and we decided to go to a ulu carpark to let me try.
So I did!
Pretty nervous and anxious before I took to the wheel. But when I positioned myself in the driver seat, it felt much less unnerving for some unknown reason. It's just like breaking out in cold sweat just before the stage lights shine on me and immediately regaining composure when I start singing. Or being totally frozen with apprehension outside that interview room but appearing confident on the other side of the door. Yes, that kind of feeling.. But I digress.
So it was that I found the car a much less daunting toy than I thought it was/might be. Made 3,000 turns around the carpark, tried signalling, tried braking, tried accelerating. But I never went beyond 20mph :p At times when I steered too far left or right or made some mistake, I got gan cheong and that's when you would see me look a bit scared *.* Else, YX said I've been a pretty decent student :)
Been thinking about getting that licence lately but I wasn't sure if I actually dared to step on the accelerator at all. Now I feel rather tempted to sign up with SSDCL. Just wondering how many people will dare to sit in my car..? :p
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