Thursday, 11 October 2012

A decent conversation with Mother

Met her for lunch today. As usual, telling me what to do blah blah blah, but at least we had a decent conversation that was actually, and surprisingly, quite enjoyable. The last time that happened was some 10 years ago when I was in Oxford!

Today, there was no gossip about her neighbours and whatnot. We talked about pleasant decades-old stuff instead. How we were cloth-diapered (she didn't "dare" to use disposables..), how much we used to poop (a bit at a time but very frequent!), how we pooped (apparently never a nasty blowout!), how long she kept our umbilical cords and hair for (more than 20 years!), YQ's baby contest etc..

One particular point stuck with me - she didn't have any help taking care of all three of us; both my grandmothers were working and there was never a maid in the house. We must have slept very well for her to have time to cook all meals, scrub the cloth diapers and handwash all the clothes since she didn't have a washing machine until I was old enough to remember! She even practised elimination communication while breastfeeding!! Of course she didn't use that term but yes, what she described was EC, no doubt..

Which makes me think - high-needs babies aside, why do so many mummies these days seem to need so much help? Yes, most mummies of our generation work. But things should be manageable during maternity leave and for stay-at-home mums right? I still remember this Chinese girl who left her infant son with her mum to join her husband in Evanston - she said she couldn't have taken care of her son on her own. But her mum on her own could take care of her son for her?? And gee, it's her own son!!

Well, to each her own, I guess. But I believe that the mum is the best caregiver for her baby. Seems a bit contradictory since I'm going to put him in infant care! But I have to work too to give our kids a better life. And I'm probably headed for a family-friendly job that should allow me to take care of ZK outside infant care hours. Kiasu me is already starting to plan my daily schedule - need to rehearse before I start work!

At night, ZK is now sleeping well enough for both of us. He's not napping as well but he napped a bit on his bed this morning and just now. I hope it gets better and he can nap longer on his bed. Slowly, I should be able to do more things in the house - just hope that it's not so slow that I will have gone back to work!

Anyway, so ZK drank while we ate. And when I burped him, out came a big gulp of milk! Mother carried him while I cleaned us up, and as I was getting the bill, he decided to give 外婆 a gift - he had a poop blowout! A yellow patch quickly spread on his white onesie, and Mother's skirt got a little wet! Thankfully her skirt was black so it wasn't obvious but everyone saw ZK's stain. We met kind-hearted people on the way to the family room in HDB Hub to wipe him down and change him before going to collect his name stamp at Lor 8.

Sito is home now :) but he has a call to make.. I'd better bathe ZK before then as he will scream the house down during his shampoo!!

1 comment:

  1. it can be done. i m cooking lunch and dinner for almost all days during my maternity leave, and still cooking dinner after i go back to work.

    It can be done, jia you!!


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