Here I am, outside the room where he's lying on a rocker in his IFC, feeling a little jittery as a first-time mum leaving her baby's side for an extended period of time.
I don't hear any cry from him, which is a relief. He wasn't smiling when I gave him a goodbye kiss; just his usual bewildered look.
He woke at 6.20 am today. I was up even earlier to pump as he was up for an hour from 4am :( Barely lay down again when he woke for good. Oh well, I could nurse him without having to balance the pump on the other side - just for this first day.
So I had breakfast and changed while he sat in his bassinet - more like a seat now. Mum arrived and I changed ZK and then we were ready to go!
Where are we going this early, Mama?
ZK was the first baby of the day and also the youngest in the IFC. I signed in at the IFC and was given an induction on what to do and expect when we arrive and leave each day. On arrival, I'll fill out a form on his file - last nap and feed and diaper change. At the end of the day, the form will be filled with the details of his day and I should read and sign to acknowledge. There's also a whiteboard with a table of all the babies and their daily details.
Saw ZK's cot in the bedroom - no floor bed in case kena stepped on by walking babies! Was advised to bring a blanket. And told that babies are put to sleep on their belly or side at the centre - go ahead man, but this boy will just flip as he wishes!
Handed over ZK's stuff after he was settled on the rocker. Found a recyclable bag in my bag and gave it to the carer to hold empty milk bottles cos I forgot to bring an extra plastic bag.
Stood around as a couple of babies came in. Stood around after that, didn't know what to do. Oh, I should go.. Gave him a little kiss and yup, here I am...
Just had a chat with the carer as she looked through the note I wrote. And then we heard him. She went in for him and brought him from the playroom to the bedroom. He's struggling to sleep now...
The carer came out of the bedroom - ZK is asleep! :)
Ok, he's crying :( And he stopped as I typed the previous sentence.
Should I continue to sit here... *.*
He had a poop. And still crying. Actually, screaming.
Carer said attempts to put him in the cot failed! So he's on the floor now. But all other babies are playing now so he's safe from little feet!
Still sleeping. And not stirring!! :)
Just got home. Left when he woke at 9.10 am - short nap as usual. He had woken crying and rubbing his face so his face looked a little red when I saw him bring carried from the bedroom to the playroom. So poor thing :(
But he's a brave little boy. So Mama must be brave too! Have to settle this jittery feeling - the last time I felt like this, like going for exams, was when delivering ZK!
ZK is asleep in his room now. The amazing thing was that I only had to go in once after putting him down when I had to go in some 10 times the past week or two!! I wonder why.. He has his pillow on his belly as usual. And like yesterday, I placed some cushions next to his right side to prevent him from flipping in his sleep and waking himself. Maybe he had more stimulation today and was tired? More adults, more babies, more decorated rooms..
So I went out for a massage and a facial after pumping in the morning. Exchanged a few text messages with Sito on the way, updating him about ZK and him reassuring me that he would be ok. When I said that I just realised how 我的两个最爱都不在我身边, he said a massage could help alleviate (that feeling) and he was absolutely right! That jittery feeling disappeared during my spa session, except for when I was talking about ZK during my facial.
Pumped once more before getting to the IFC at close to 6 pm. There were fewer babies around then and all of them and the carers were on the playmat in the common area. For some strange reason, I didn't spot ZK until I got up real close! Maybe he was wearing new clothes - all long sleeves and he had changed since the morning - or maybe he was wearing an unfamiliar bib or maybe I wasn't sure what I was looking for..
Anyway, I was glad that he seemed to have had a good day. Not cranky at all when I saw him - he was usually cranky at that hour! But guess what, this heartless boy didn't look in my direction at all! Not even when I put my face up close! :( It wasn't until we got home that he smiled at me when I sang 小白船 as part of his bedtime routine.
Conclusion: It was a great start! I only wish Sito could send ZK off on his first day with me... (He was sleeping!)
Managed to wash everything and cook and eat by 8.30 pm. Check out our drying rack full of his stuff from today!
Yup, I have a confession to make - I was looking forward to today when ZK would start going to IFC! I felt and feel very guilty about being happy to leave him in IFC and go for a spa session, among other things. Guess my punishment will arrive very soon - I'm going to be full-time working mother from January!! *.*