DIE!!!

I've never been so shocked upon opening the door - was taking out the recycling bag for collection day.

A BIG COCKROACH WAS CRAWLING TOWARDS ME!

I gave a little scream and slammed the door shut, ran to get the Baygon and gingerly opened the door again..

The pest had moved to the mini drain and was starting to crawl away. Who knows if it will come back? And one less roach is good for (wo?)mankind!

So I opened the gate, reached out and sprayed with all my might!

The poisoned roach moved away frantically. I just had to make sure it died lest it became more resistant to Baygon (does that happen??) so I gave chase! A longer spray later, it moved away even more frantically.

I was satisfied and returned to my whining baby - sorry babe, I must protect us! Remember that old Baygon commercial with sleeping kids? :)

PS: Pesticides these days actually smell good! But let's not breathe in too much of it anyway..

Another simple day with ZK

Very soon, ZK will go to infant care. I'm enjoying these last days of mama-and-son nua-ing time with him. Just like to do nothing much at all and live by his schedule. And the weather.

Like today, we lazed around in the morning before going to the supermarket and returned to more lazing around.. But of course, it's not picture perfect.

The frustrating

Took two hours to make him nap 30 min this morning, sighs.. He didn't want to nap but he also didn't want play or watch 喜羊羊 or even nurse. I sang one line to him: 原来你什么都不想要！

Today's theme song:



The comforting

The little boy woke from his afternoon nap pouting and ready to cry. I lay down next to him to pat his little chest only to have him turn towards me and pulling at my top at my chest. That meant only one thing...

As he took in his nth feed of the day, I brushed my hand over his head as I would usually do at the beginning of a feed. Then his hand closed in on my wrist and pulled it tight against his chest. As he slowly calmed down, my earlier frustration also melted away..

His still dimply and slightly wrinkly little hand looked so cute against my big hand. And it feels so soft and warm against my hardened skin. Better enjoy it while his hands are still so baby-ish. And while he still wants to hold mine.

Eat to live

After a week with no cai fan, all I could think of last night was a plate of rice topped with meat, vege and eggs! So that was what I had for lunch today :)

Am I easy to 养 or what? Hoho!

I usually eat by myself, be it during this SAHM period or when I was working - I used to pack something to eat in front of my desk so that I could cram in more work, siao right... So cai fan is my number one choice - only one hand required, next to no mess, and with carbs, proteins and vege all on one plate, so balanced :)

But I also like noodles, especially wan tan mee and bah chor mee - 白的不要油！

Auntie: 醋要吗？
mf: 要！
Auntie: 酱青咧？
mf: Um, ok!

Troublesome but the stalls I frequented at work knew my preference after a while :)

But these noodle options have close to no vege - that small piece of lettuce on top of the bah chor mee is a disgrace to the vege community. And spring onions don't count! So I make sure I have cai fan for lunch or cook more vege for dinner every day.

Once in a while, I'll indulge in less everyday (read: more expensive) options. I like my sashimi, pasta, sandwiches and burgers :) But again, they don't have much vege so I still must have something practical for the other meal of the day.

Actually, I like angmoh food a lot. If it's cheaper and has more vege that isn't raw, I would have it every day! Still remember our Evanston days - one meal pasta, one meal rice. And burgers and sandwiches for me during Sito's internship :)

But I'm generally quite easy with food. After all, I eat to live. I don't care if:

1) it's not the most interesting cai fan - I don't need variety. I often eat the same one or two vege, the same one or two meat and the same one or two egg/tofu dishes. Hey, that's some six (? :p) permutations already!

2) it's not the best bah chor mee or the mee is no longer as good as eons ago - if it's not near me, I'm not going out of the way for it. And unless something is terribly horrid tasting, I can't tell it apart from the best anyway!

3) it's not the freshest ingredients - this is very subjective. Which is fresher? The piece of chicken from a chicken which was killed at 3 am to be sold that morning to be cooked through, or the piece of tuna sashimi from a tuna which died three weeks ago at sea and was flash-frozen until it was sold to be eaten raw?

4) it's the heavenly combination of parsley and cheese in the tenderest part of the perfectly smoke-grilled veal blah blah blah.. Eh, speak English! I like watching food shows - simply looking at some foods is enough to make me drool, but please, no running commentary! What do I care if this fish melts in your mouth?! And I'm not interested in seeing half-chewed food in your mouth too. Just shut up and eat.

That said, there are some stuff worth living to eat - chocolate for one :)

miso: Cos you can't eat that to live?!

Anyway... Spent a simple quiet day with ZK today. He didn't laugh much but he didn't cry much too! :p A surprise walked through the door at 5 plus this evening - Sito came back early! So we had dinner together. And he's next to me on the bed with his laptop *.* Well, at least he's here :)

ZK turns four months!

And his Papa keeps thinking ZK is one month younger!! *.*

Anyway, we went to the Gardens again yesterday. This time, we went up the OCBC Skyway. Lucky for us, it was not too hot as it was a cloudy day. The breeze helped too!




Digression: TO commented over tai-tai dim sum on Monday that this was a very torturous position for ZK - so close to the milk yet cannot drink!! :p

Besides the nice views, I was also impressed by this sign - eight don'ts vs. three do's!



Anyway, ZK got fussy somehow.. LS thought that was cute hence the picture ha! Quite funny indeed!


Source: LS

Another picture of ZK crying next to V-jiejie who looked like she was falling asleep, sitting! Eh, ZK, can you do that too?


Source: SSY

Anyway, back to the Gardens - we went to the Flower Dome to cool down after the Skyway. ZK was sitting upright in my sling here. Nowadays he much prefers to be upright. And he knows how to look into the camera, this little poser.. But my dear, what expression was that? :p



He probably looked like that when looking at Nemo too *.*



The baby spa upgraded their single pool - it now has a glass front! Doesn't this remind you of looking through the glass window at a hippo partially submerged in its pond? :p ZK even has the hippo fat folds!



Random food picture :p We had Blackball after the baby spa two Sundays ago!



This is the third time or so that I tried the Bumbo - he's still a bit wobbly in it.. Let's see what happens in a couple more weeks.. That is, if his thunder thighs still fit *.*



Oh, my handsome boy! A bit beng beng with the up-turned collar though..



Check out his 蜡笔小新 cheeks! The eyebrows aren't quite there yet but I guess they will - just look at the parents!



The little towel was there to catch overflowing milk as I was nursing him on our poor bed. Sometimes when I just lie down next to him, he would look at my chest and use his hands to tug and pull at my top - he seems to know that's where the milk comes from! But I guess he knows it more from the smell..

Last Sunday at the grandparents', he slept with his legs over a bolster.. His legs have been everywhere lately, e.g. sticking out of the sling or out of the bassinet *.*



Dad captured some really nice shots of ZK - he can grab things with his legs! Death by chubby thighs? :p


Source: Dad

A big laugh! I've never been able to take such a nice shot - it's just hard to play with him while welding a camera at the same time. He doesn't laugh out loud all the time but when he does, it's really fun to watch :) Yesterday during lunch at the Gardens, he started laughing out loud even though I wasn't doing anything.. Was it my face?? *.*


Source: Dad

Ewe, saliva! Today, his saliva dripped down his chin twice... An indication of more to come??


Source: Dad

He has outgrown his short plain white PJs but he has grown into a few new ones! In fact, I broke out the new PJs about a month too late - not much room for ZK to grow into.. Anyway, this is my fave :)



He still prefers to suck his fingers even though he has found his thumbs *.* Recently, he's been making more chewing lip motions too, especially when he's watching me eat.. Eh, don't bite when nursing hor..

Snot alert! :p



He has been able to remove his pacifier for quite a while now, but this week, he started being able to put it back in if he didn't pull his hand too far away! The problem is he still doesn't quite understand the need to let go so the pacifier keeps coming off :p And when he pulls it too far off and tries to replace it, somehow he ends up sucking the rim or handle.. Quite fun to watch :)

He claps both hands together when trying to grip bigger things. That's how he holds his bottle when we bottle-feed him. Last week, he managed to hold the bottle without support for a brief second!

He can also grip his toys more firmly now, although he still has trouble picking them up from the floor when he drops them as he's always lying on his back - he still hates tummy time! He can get pretty upset when that happens..

He used to hesitate reaching out for new toys but he seemed to take to this rattle instantly. Lucky boy - 左拥右抱 plus kissing another!



Just this Wednesday, I decided to go downstairs for breakfast, taking the chance to accustom him to his stroller. He seemed happy with the twin bears/rabbits! :)



We saw Papa waiting for his transport downstairs. He was still waiting when we were on our way back! Driver overslept *.*



He took a little nap when we got back, in the Sito position :p



Took this on the way to baby spa later. He seemed to put on the curiousest expressions on his car seat!



So that's how ZK has been in the past three weeks or so since I last updated on his development. Now we're just waiting for him to flip over! He's already "spinning" on his bed every morning - I often walk in to find him spun 90 or 180 degrees around. There were even poop stains on his bedsheet outside his waterproof pad when he turned out of its perimeter! Bah...

Work to live like I eat to live

The other day, I suddenly recalled that I was entertaining the thought of moving out and renting some time in 2004 or 2005. I only shared this thought but was met with a stern "you're disowned if you ever do that"!! Wtf?!

Anyway, that was not financially possible given my earnings back then actually. Hence "entertaining"... I endured living without privacy and with people I couldn't stand living with, thinking I would have to wait until age 35 to buy my own flat, but of course Sito put me out of my misery.

Anyway, one good thing about not renting - we could afford Kellogg!!!

The past couple of times I met her, Mother kept telling me not to go back to work so that I could take care of ZK. Sounds good but (1) how can I let him face me all the time when I don't have a network of SAHMs to arrange play dates with, and (2) how can we pave a better life if our household income is less for three of us (and hopefully more later) than it was for two of us last time? Not to mention our current combined savings aren't that fantastic post-Kellogg. Must rebuild nest egg!

That said, I'm not going all out to bia. Sito is busy enough. If I'm very busy too, then ZK will be a very poor thing! I just want a job that lets me be a present mum, allows me to be more than a wife and a mum, and provides some kind of mental stimulation and sufficient compensation.

So for my return to work, I rejected what HR offered me - corp comms (little experience and shit hours) and overseas engagement (how to travel?!). Instead, I found another position that HR knew nuts about - one good thing when you know people :) It's something I've not done before though I'm more or less acquainted with the policy behind it. Another new thing about it is that there's (supposed to be) work-life balance!! Just pending final confirmation now...

That's very important but I've covered enough of work-life before. Just to add that a close friend recently took a major pay cut to improve her work-life balance. Salute to her! I'm just thankful that I will be able to return to my pay grade. Nvm that there will be no more hefty bonuses since I'm not going for a hefty workload too. I'll just not sign on another massage and facial package lor *.* (It's no coincidence that my packages always started in April :p)

PS: Yup, I eat to live, not the other way round.. Although I don't reject good food when it comes around!

Getting into a family routine

Love public holidays - Sito is around! :)

The day started wonderfully with ZK's cheerful coo-ing waking me just before 7 am. We didn't manage to have a little family lunch - more of an extended family lunch instead - but we had a little family nap and some couple time with takeaway from downstairs after the little one was tucked into bed.

I didn't realise beforehand that having a little one means expanding the family not by one but by n, hoho! So recently, we fix Sunday to have lunch with the extended family so that everyone can spend some time with the little precious (and the big one too!), which is similar to what I had as a child - we used to visit the two sets of grandparents on alternate Sundays. Just as well since Mum cooks on Sundays - we thought it's nice to remove the stress of traveling on Sundays. (For those who don't know, my in-laws live right across the road from us - do I hear gasps of shock or glimpse nods of approval? Haha!) That's why the clan is celebrating Sito's birthday at Jumbo this Saturday instead of Sunday, the actual day.

As for dinner, well, we had pizza and McDelivery (on separate occasions!) a few Sundays ago. Those were very nice couple times, just sitting in front of the TV with our food and each other's company :) So we've decided to stay in for dinner on Sundays to get more rest before work the next day - can try all the food delivery options haha! Must find something nice this Sunday - the wife is celebrating the husband's birthday! :)

So we're slowly getting into some family routine. Weekdays are usually mama and son time as Sito is often overseas. If he's not, he's back only after ZK has gone to bed and spends more time with his laptop than with his wife, bleah!

Saturdays are best for our little family lunch, and if we feel up to it, dinner outside or with the extended family for special occasions. And we tend to schedule the occasional meet-ups with friends on Saturdays.

Seems like we often have to steal time for some 二人世界 but I'm already very grateful that it's been possible at all, amid his work, baby demands and family obligations. And now that we think about it, Evanston was a great time for the two of us. Else, how to have time and privacy to make ZK? :p (which brings to question how we are going to make the next little one... Let's think about that next year...)

But of course we don't hiam little ZK in our life! He's a wonderful addition and turns this married couple into a little family. Now he's still tiny and can't really interact much with us but when he's bigger, we can have some nice 三人世界 before the next little one comes along :)

Sito has a few days of enforced leave at the end of the year. We were thinking of going somewhere. Wouldn't it be nice to bring ZK overseas for the first time? I was pretty excited by the prospect of a little family holiday. But ZK would be settling into infant care at that time, just before I start work. It could be a nightmare if we disrupt his routine then!! So, oh well, no ringfenced 三人世界 then.. We'll bring ZK out another time when he's more settled. But we're making plans for 二人世界 while ZK is in infant care during his enforced leave! Lunch dates, movie dates, shopping trips, and even a trip to the dentist! Life is good :)

返朴归真

Had too much junk today. Don't know why, can't stop eating. Maybe my mouth is trying to compensate itself for the past couple of weeks of ulcer misfortune.. I'm now thinking about the Sara Lee chocolate cake in the freezer but I shouldn't as I've had a chocolate cupcake from Delifrance this afternoon, among others...

Bought the Sara Lee a few weeks ago after lusting after it for some months. It used to be a great treat in childhood even though it didn't (and still doesn't) have cream like birthday cakes. But now, 20 plus years later, Sara Lee failed to bring that "great treat" feeling.

It used to be so easy to be over the moon - ice kacang, rojak, the flat white floury cake/bread, some 猫猫 brand ice cream. A simple pandan chiffon cake could also be a birthday cake. Sara Lee was actually a very upmarket treat, the kind that made all of us kids gather around Mother, waiting anxiously for that one slice of heaven.

Now, access to better options has robbed me of that simple joy. I always choose super rich chocolate gateau over the good old sponge cake. I always prefer B&J or equivalent to Paddle Pop or King's. I no longer eat cheap chocolate. And kids of today may scream the house down if they don't get a fancy birthday cake in the shape of some purple dino.

But this Sara Lee thing is a call for me to 返朴归真, to rediscover the simple joys in life. Even though the first bite did not bring the expected euphoria, the excitement when buying it and the anticipation when cutting it were worth remembering for some time to come..

And maybe, it's time for me to go search for simple foods that made me happy as a child... Who needs 山珍海味?

(But no, I will still not eat cheap chocolate - don't get fat for nothing!)

Like papa and mama, like son

His Royal Chubbiness is 6.97kg today! I must be getting stronger..I hope? :)

Was at the PD's today. Saw a different one as our usual had an emergency case. Second dose of the same vaccines a month ago. This time, he was asleep in my sling when the doc fed him the oral vaccine. He woke and cried as expected. The cries got louder with the two injections on his chubby thighs.

Asked the doc lots of questions as usual. When I mentioned that ZK makes chomping motions with his mouth whenever he watches me eat, he said I could introduce solids at five months if I wish, given his size *.* The best response yet was when I asked about ZK swiping his head and ears etc - babies have weird behaviour at this age! I like this doc :)

Very fast, ZK turns four months next week. But he doesn't look his age with his serious face and the mob of hair, both of which have invited comments - huh, only three months, so much hair, so big, so much hair!

I was telling XY who hasn't met ZK yet that he looks more like a toddler than a baby - chao lao! Then she said he must be like Sito who looked like 30 when he was 25! (But who has continued to look like 30 :p)

Now that I think about it, I was also chao lao - I have been looking like this since five!! *.* (But Sito says I still look like 25 hoho! 真会说话 :))

So well, dear ZK, you just won't look very baby-ish in your baby photos! Rest assured that you're still super cute :)

No shower today!

Cos our bathroom and toilet were just flooded with waterproofing chemical this morning... Just wiped myself down like a newborn *.* Lucky Sito is in JB this week..

Apparently, we have been leaking down to our neighbour's ceiling since early last year. They complained to HDB which sent technicians to check things out. The issue went quiet all of a sudden and we thought it was resolved but HDB contacted us again mid this year.

So they rectified some external seepage but required us to fix our floors too. The officer in charge came over in September to look see. I asked for a letter informing us formally of the issue, what to do, the costs involved, what happens if it doesn't get resolved etc.

The letter arrived more than a month later! With very little details! I tried many times to reach the guy for clarifications without success so I sent him a letter, which was lucky for me cos he had resigned! The new officer came to look see again, and clarified things.

Essentially, I could use their goodwill repair assistance scheme where HDB will pay 50% and both floors will pay 25% each. But that covers only the basics, meaning that all our fixtures like toilet bowl and vanity cabinet etc will be hacked off without replacement and the new tiles will be HDB tiles! I estimated some $3k in losses and replacement on top of "basics".

Another option is for me to engage my contractor to do the same - hacking - and settle with the neighbour privately about copayment. But surely downstairs wouldn't want to pay more than under the HDB scheme!

The last option is for me to use other methods. I managed to get a contact from HDB staff for chemical waterproofing, under repeated reminders that other methods were not endorsed by HDB. (HDB lets us decide so long as we fix the problem.) The work cost $650 with a one-year warranty. I googled and figured out that 25% under HDB would be about $300-$400.

So I asked my neighbour who agreed to copay - apparently HDB told them it would be about $300 - but if it leaks again after the warranty period, we have to refund and go with HDB. Fair enough. He said he preferred HDB contractor cos they would paint his ceiling - of course la but who is going to foot my additional bills?! Not like i wanted this to happen. I even offered to paint his ceiling myself when he said it wasn't fair to ask his maid to paint. But guess what, today, the maid told me she painted their whole house by herself! Um, that's fair??

Anyway so now we monitor. The top infusion method is supposed to be better than chemical injection at the lower floor. If all is good, I'll see if they still want me to paint. Just want to settle this before starting work..

Oh, but thankfully the toilet can be used! I was thinking of hiding out at Mum's place for the afternoon otherwise, which is tough for me on two counts.

First, Mum is overseas so I have no idea where the mesh cradle is, which means there's no safe place to put ZK down except the floor - not keen since the floor hasn't been cleaned since Mum left a week ago! It would also be more difficult to settle ZK for naps as I have been lying next to him to settle him and I would feel very imposing if I were to lie on another person's bed.

The other difficulty is that, I feel like I would be trespassing, even with permission! Yes, Mum gave us a key but I've always let Sito use it. We talked about this before - Sito said maybe it's more ok for him as it's like going home like last time. Then I told him that Mother let me keep my old keys when I wanted to return it after moving out, but I never use it; I still knock when I go over even though I lived there for almost 30 years. So no, I just feel weird letting myself in somewhere I don't or no longer live in.

Anyway, long story is over. Now I should sleep before ZK wakes for a feed again.. I just fed him before writing this - he woke less than two hours after I settled him for the night. I told Sito that his son likes to bully me; he slept so well over the weekend when papa was home!!

Update 25 Oct 2016

It's been some years and so far, no complaints from my neighbours :) I've replied to earlier comments via email as I only have the guy's mobile number so I'm hesitant to post publicly. BUT! I just found the company website - here you go: winborne.com.sg. You're most welcome :)

Sleeping ZK

So here we are again, with our own gadgets on each side of the bed after a hot pot of instant noodles in front of the TV this cool rainy evening. What did we used to do before all these iP*** came about??

miso: Each other? ^.^
mf: *.*

We had two consecutive bad nights - ZK was more or less sleepless for four hours in the past two nights. He didn't fall asleep after nursing, he couldn't stay asleep. Tried to let him cry it out, but I ended up sleeping in bursts of five minutes cos I kept going to check that he wasn't going to struggle to the edge of his bed. Last night, he was staring at me with big serious eyes for quite a while - rather eerie with the nightlight on!

But today has been interesting. He fell asleep on his own - ok, I helped him along by shhh-ing; he's not so powerful like V-jiejie who dozed off just sitting next to her parents at lunch today! - five times! First in his bed soon after he woke for the day, second on our bed, third in the sling which was no surprise, fourth on our bed with us and finally in his bed for the night!

NO CRYING!!! NO NURSING TO SLEEP!!!

Asleep with his pacifier and my old PJs.. "Don't disturb me.."



But let me not be too happy yet.. Let's see how many times he'll wake tonight.. Fingers crossed...

Update the next morning...

He woke only twice :) First time at 2.30 am, just after I suddenly woke wet and engorged (my boobs spilt out of my bra on all sides!!), he drank and got drunk. Second time, I left him awake and when I checked on him later, he had fallen asleep, yay! But he woke in a pool of his own poop this morning *.*

Utilities

These few nights have been very cool - like aircon without the bills!

Actually our utility bills are not high, averaging $80-$90 despite at least 12 hours of aircon a day, the washing machine, the dryer and a husband who can shower up to three times a day :p

But now that I've started cooking dinner, I don't know if our bills will be affected... Washing dishes takes a lot of water! I think if I (or hired help?) were to cook more for a bigger family, it's better to get a dishwasher. Contrary to popular belief and general perception, such gadgets are meant not only for convenience but also to save energy and water - just google it. Of course, don't run the machine with only two plates la!

It's amazing what perceptions can do. Mother has a washing machine for more than 20 years. But she has never ever used it to wash - just rinse and spin! Poor machine - it never fulfills its destiny because its owner wants to save water. Question is, does hand washing really save water?? The only way she truly saves water is that the rinsing water doesn't go down the pipe - she would run the hose into the bathroom, sometimes into a pail to scrub the floor or something. I hated it cos the door would be pushed open in the middle of a poop or a shower!

Same with aircon. Until today, that house has no aircon. Or the lights. Switching off and on again uses more electricity than leaving it on for a short while - where the hell did that come from?? Or credit cards. She berated me for getting my first cards - ya, of course I would go bankrupt for using credit cards! *roll eyes*

Anyway, I didn't mean to go into the last two paragraphs but I can't help recalling those incidents whenever I think about utilities. (The credit cards are a b-t-w mention.) Should go enjoy the breeze now :)

PS: FFFFF! The smoker is at it again!! :(

Simple happiness :)

I checked out this mum of two sitting across from me at the coffee shop where I had lunch. Her older boy looks about two or three and she was carrying her baby girl in her arms - she must be just older than ZK. I'm sure she checked me out too :p I mean, we're both mums on our own! But she's more 厉害 - she has two kids!

It's hard to cook when ZK is awake as I never know when he needs attention. That's why I cook only dinner after he has fallen asleep. So I went to the supermarket again after lunch to stock up on ingredients. ZK whined a little at the queue for the till, and two aunties in front of us let us go first! Happy :)

We also went to the post office to collect a missed delivery - my diaper bag organisers are here! Bought one to transform my big roomy bag into a diaper bag and one, well, just in case *.* Very auntie mentality :p But I'm thinking of using that for the second changing station in our bedroom when we transit him to the bigger bath tub. So organised, me! Happy :)

That was part of my first purchase from Gmarket last Friday. I suspect it's the first of many.. Also got my bib clip in the mail - actually I ordered wrongly; wanted pacifier clip *.* Just waiting for nappy rash cream now. I've added more stuff to the shopping cart for consideration. Gmarket is so evil but I love it, ha! Happy :)

This afternoon, I wasn't very successful at helping ZK nap. But I took a nap :p When I woke 30 min later, he was still kicking about! And a few kicks after I woke, he made a three-quarter flip - the second I've seen! (Pictures later - blogging on the iPad now..) And he was generally happy despite being ignored by a sleepy mama for that long. Happy :)

He kind of stopped there; could have turned all the way! Next time :)



Anyway, I helped and flipped him for some tummy time. Hello, DD!



I've done almost nothing this week except playing with ZK. I did everything by his schedule so far this week. There were two days when I was in PJs the whole day except during lunch. Lounging with him is very comfortable, so much that I contemplated bringing him to our bed next week when Sito will be in JB! But slippery slope, better not... These days when I kiss his cheeks, he will give me a smile most of the time; he used to only give a wth-did-you-just-do-to-me look! Happy :)

Sito is in Singapore for the past two weeks :) But he works long hours and continues back home :( Although he'll be in JB next week, he'll work better hours. We may even be able to chat more! So, happy? :)

I hope to still be awake when he comes home tonight. Want to see his face when he sees the fruits today - got the juicy pear he likes for the first time! It's nice to be able to do something as simple as cutting fruits for him when I'm less able to meet my old - high - standard of the stay-at-home wife like in Evanston since becoming a stay-at-home mum. I'm hopeful that I can still cut fruits for him as a full-time working mum next year. Happy :)

I love being happy. I realise that when I'm happy, I'm grounded in the present, which is good. I remember being very very unhappy after I graduated and had to return to no privacy and no independence and just about no everything - I kept thinking about my life in Oxford!! It's one thing to reminisce and another to live in the past.

And nothing beats the happiness of the simplicity that we have. I'm looking forward to having a family nap or two again this weekend. I'm pretty sure Sito and Sito Junior are too :)

临睡遐想

小孩篇
（即妈妈幻想篇）

我还小，很小，醒着的时间不能太长，要不我太困了，很难入眠。可是醒着的时间老是不够我又喝又拉又学习又玩耍。这个世界有好多东西等着我去摸索，单是小房间里的玩具书本已令我流连忘返，还有最熟悉的你，我再累有时也舍不得睡。就算困了想睡，我一个人也还不会一躺下就睡着。现在的我只能完全依赖你⋯⋯

不过你放心，我会慢慢成长，慢慢学习，有一天我会独立的。在那一天到来之前，妈妈，辛苦你了！

妈妈篇

白天哄他睡，而他又闹又不肯睡时，我会觉得这小孩怎么这么烦，明明都累了却不睡。可是到了晚上他睡了，象现在他已经睡了两个小时，我就会很想很想他，临睡前一定要轻轻推开房门，躲在房门的一角偷看他是否睡得香甜。有时半夜醒来，发现都几点了，怎么他还没把我叫醒，尽管庆幸他睡得很熟，却又忍不住要去查看查看。

曾几何时，他只是我身体里的一块肉。现在他是他自己了，喜欢就睡，不喜欢就也拿他没办法。其实想想，当初他也是不按牌理，喜欢就睡，喜欢就踢。原来，小孩从一开始就是他自己的，付与生命者也不可能一辈子牵着这双好奇的小手。我也不能忽略承诺＂执子之手，与子偕老＂的另一个他⋯⋯

可是我心爱的小孩还只是个小孩，对我是百分百的依赖。所以啊小孩，妈妈会一直陪着你，和你一起学习，直到你不需要我时时刻刻在你身边，直到你可以一个人展翅高飞去。

晚安了。