Problem

I was somewhat affected by a friend's problem, the details and timing of which were coincident to two recent - how shall I put it? - relevations.

Just Sat, we were talking about zhuan qing and zhuan yi - what's the difference? Think a zhuan yi person is true to only one and may not be zhuan qing, which is quite sad. A zhuan qing person can be zhuan yi - ideal - but can also be zhuan qing to more than one person!

So most people will say the latter is incorrigible. I'm actually split on this matter.. Well, I'm quite a heartless bitch who cannot be zhuan yi at this point in time, and I suspect I'm as yet incapable of being zhuan qing too.. But if I were married, it would be so damn tough to tolerate the absence of either!

Then just a couple of days ago, a passer-by reminded me of this guy who liked me years ago, and as I recalled guys who had expressed interest in me, I suddenly realised that they shared something in common. In fact, one of them articulated that he liked me cos he felt he could protect me..

See there, that poor cat loitering at the coffee shop waiting for scraps? You can protect it very well, I'm sure you'll like it too..!

Somehow have this feeling that some people think I cannot fend for myself - picture Susan Myers in DH minus the pretty face and the bod. No, I don't think I'm like that. I cannot deny that it's nice and warm to have someone to shelter me, but hey I'm not sitting around here waiting eternally for someone to rescue me. I don't wish to be liked for such a ridiculous reason. Shouldn't it be the other way round ie you want to protect someone cos you like him/her?

Question: ability aside, why do men want to protect?? I suspect it may an innate want/need to protect and provide, in which case, how do you differentiate this from liking someone? I think it's important to tell the difference, otherwise the confused chap will just keep "liking" whoever needs to be protected!

I wonder if it could be that these are insecure creatures who need to have something or someone to protect to prove or reinforce their ability, strength, whatever. Recall one of Kel's recent musings: what a man wants is to be a woman's first love; what a woman wants is to be a man's last romance. I agree with the last bit but why does a man want to be a woman's first love if not for ego reasons??

Enough of my rantings.. Returning to the key matter, my friend, I know of two others who met with similar problems - one happy ending and the other, well I wouldn't say it's unhappy! They got through their rough patches with great anxiety and also all-round support from family and friends. They cleared their heads and started taking control of the situation after the initial shock, and doing all they could to reach the best solution possible. So keep your head high, ok?