Sunday, 12 June 2011

mf, evolved and evolving

Many years ago, when Desperate Housewives first aired on TV, I took one of those online quizzes and was told I was most like Gabrielle, "the ex-model with everything she's ever wanted, a rich husband, a big house and John, the 17-year-old gardener"

But now as I watched more of the show, I have two new thoughts: (a) Gabrielle is more than quoted, and (b) I'm certainly not most like the old Gabrielle now.

This is called ageing growing up.

I was such a kid in my early 20s. I didn't know anything at all. Looking back, it seemed like I didn't learn any life lessons at all. Even the way I handled my early work was so kiddish; I cringed when I saw an ancient email recently...

In my mid 20s, I just wanted to hang out, play and have fun. You know, enjoy life. And I did all that recklessly. Going dancing on a weekday and showing up at work the next day was common. I even met up with guys who found me online and clinked glasses with two uncles in a foreign land - lucky for me they were all NOT serial killers!

It wasn't until I stepped into my late 20s that I kind of woke up - I might still feel like I was only 25 but really, I was fast approaching 30. With more commitments, I could no longer covet the kind of fun I used to have. I also became more selective of who I would want to hang out with - time is a zero-sum game! There was a period of adjustment, with some unhappiness of course. But thankfully, I found comfort in quietly hanging out with the people I love.

And now that I'm 31, I find myself in this amazing stage of life, something I never really thought of when I was younger. I'm no longer into the kind of fun I loved in my mid 20s and craved for in my late 20s. I just want a stable kind of happy life that will be sustained until Sito and I (and CY and Kel et al!) are 60 or 70 - then we'll think of something else :)

Oh, I would still gamely meet up with people I know online. But it's more of an interest group kind of thing now, like parenting forums! I'll just ask to make sure they're not serial killers before I meet them :)

Regrets? Not really la. It's after all, me. (So you don't see me going back to erase some exciting memoirs documented here :p) But there are some things that I wish I could have handled better. Well, it's all part of growing up, isn't it?

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