Thursday, 29 September 2011

Delightfully huggable, or not

Followed links to a recent TV ad by London Weight Management and read a lot of negative comments on it. Many people are denouncing the ad - trivialising post-natal depression la, demeaning women la...

I just found it funny, especially when the music went from depressing to bright and cheery as the woman looked enlightened, got up from her wheel chair, full of determination (crescendo) to.... head for a slimming centre.

The ad is just ludicrously trying to put all their target clients into one woman - women who has excess flesh after pregnancy, women who work in a place where image is everything, women who think that being slim will get them everything.

I can imagine that there are people who feel that their fatness is the bane of everything else in their life. Examples:
1) I'm fat, that's why he doesn't like me. If I were slim, he will like me. (Well, he may like your new body, not sure about you...)
2) I'm fat, that's why I failed the interview. If I were slim, I will get that job. (Sure, if you double your wits as you halve your weight..)
3) I'm fat, cannot wear that dress (perhaps to seduce said "he" above). If I were slim, I can fit into that dress. (But it may not suit you!)

Thing is, there are women like that. The developed world grows up learning that slim is good, fat is bad.

Sure, perhaps LWM shouldn't be encouraging such behaviour but LWM is a company, not MOE! There are negative influences everywhere. What I find the most funny is when some people asked where the censors were for this ad. I thought people didn't want censorship?? (And then the Abercrombie ad happened...)

Anyway, I would have forgotten this ad if not for Tuesday, when I discovered to my shock and horror what a summer of sitting in front of the computer (and the trip to the west coast) had done to my weight since May - I gained 5kg in four months!

I'm now at my heaviest EVER. Yes, I'm weighing more than my peak in Oxford. New record! I already have some ugly veins showing on my legs since my last Amazing Weight Gain 10 years ago. And I'm now 10 years older and no more fitter than last time. I think I'd better do something about this new weight gain.

But no, I'm not going to a slimming centre!! Although I must admit that I was once silly enough to have spent a few hundred dollars on slimming massages some years ago. I lost nothing from those massages but I thought I gained a thing or two from the nutritionist who came with the massages.

So why did I become "enlightened" and head for the shortcut slimming solution when I was only a little chubby from university days? (I eventually lost the weight from exercise and improved eating habits, e.g. 云吞面白的不要油 - didn't give up carbs :p)

Financial independence was an excuse. To be very honest, I have always had a body image issue.

I grew up as a tall and big kid among puny kids. I was still in primary school when I outgrew my mother's adult dresses. Hell, I was heavier than an uncle by the time I was nine!

At the same time, I love carbs - rice, noodles, pasta, savoury pancakes, potato. I love meat - red or deep-fried is always good. I love desserts - chocolate cake, brownies, cost chewy cookies, sweet pancakes. And I have no self-control sometimes. I don't crave for ice cream usually but if Sito goes away for days, I'll compulsively eat up all the ice cream. I bought a 20 oz can of unsalted roasted cashew nuts on Saturday and I finished it on Tuesday, and Sito had just one little cashew...

Oh, and ah, number (1) and number (3) :p

I still remember being inspired by Dove's Campaign on Real Beauty many years ago. It tells me to be less conscious of myself and to see beyond the physical of people around me.

I do know big men and big women, but the person within is bigger than the physical person. Unfortunately, the me within is not bigger than the physical me. I'm tinier than I look. (Or write, actually.)

For some time, I have accepted that I'll always have a bit of flab around the tummy and thighs; I'm delightfully huggable :) I didn't even exercise or control my diet for our wedding. But the latest 5kg gain is quite a shock. I'm still huggable but whether that's delightful now, I have to ask Sito haha!

I don't know if it's because of that that I didn't feel hungry today - I took an hour to eat lunch. But I knew even with lunch I would be hungry during the afternoon class so I force-fed myself *.* And then after dinner, Sito came back with cookies and a slice of really rich chocolate cake :) so despite not being hungry, I compulsively ate a cookie and the cake anyway :(

(I guess he must say I'm still delightfully huggable since he fed me sweets right? :p)

Now that school has started, I have classes every Monday and Thursday, and I go downtown every Friday. I'm not in front of the computer all the time now! I'll try to make Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Saturdays gym days to target the 5kg. Must keep fit and healthy!!

For now, I shall google for celebs caught without make-up to lift my spirits a bit :p

Update 2 Oct 2011

I think I wrote the above for nothing. We bought bathroom scales finally, after Sito convinced me that I could weigh myself often and avoid sudden massive weight gain in future. Then I found that our friend's old bathroom scales were just wrong - I didn't gain 5kg at all! I've gained maybe 1kg since May. (Our bathroom scales couldn't be wrong because they're new!) Very, very relieved... But it's not for sure that I wouldn't pile on more over the long winter when my body stores fats involuntarily. So let me not be slack with gym!

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