Today, I had some time away from ZK. Not for Pilates but for fun. Not for 2-3 hours but for over four hours!
I felt very liberated, honestly. I wore a tunic over leggings - totally not breastfeeding friendly. I wore pumps, not slippers. I didn't tie my hair; I even flat-ironed my hair last night.
But an hour and a half later, I felt anxious. I hadn't felt like that after the first couple of times I left ZK's side. I think it's because while I was 100% engaged during Pilates, I was able to let my thoughts drift to ZK during the K Lunch session today, especially when I kept looking at my phone with ZK's photo as a wallpaper.
When ZK refused the bottle (again!), Sito called and we changed the teat again. After that, I got even more anxious. Suddenly I felt myself singing more out of tune *.*
It was great going out as mf and not just ZK's mama but I've never been so anxious for my bus to reach home! (Except when I had a bad tummy ache :p)
ZK was sleeping when I got back. He seemed perfectly fine. I think I'm going to be the one suffering separation anxiety when he goes to infant care, sighs.. But I guess I should feel happy since I can deal with that while he may not be able to. Good that he's going to centre care at a young age, before he becomes too negatively (yes, there's such a thing!) attached to mama.