The dreams are back!

Around May-June, I suffered from restless sleep most days cos I kept having dreams, many strange and disturbing ones. Then the dreaming stopped and I was relieved. But the past couple of nights, I've been dreaming again. And remembering them.

Like Thurs, I had a weird and super tiring dream that SY, Kel, Moh and I were out having supper every day and at super late hours. At one point, I was so tired that I just fell asleep, somewhere.. Then I woke (in my dream) and went to find them for supper, all the time thinking "I need sleep! I need sleep!" Then I woke in real life.

I told Kel who gave me this, "The want of sleep more than food signifies the longing of dreams more than pragmatism." I didn't actually read too much into this dream, cos some of us do go for late suppers and recently I had some late suppers that they were also breakfast.. Still, I was reminded of Kel's earlier comment on another matter that I could be too idealistic. Hmmm.. Maybe I am but sometimes it's hard to accept reality and sometimes it's just too darn difficult to compromise on certain things! Dreams are so much nicer and easier.. Ok ok, I'll do a reality check someday. Someday..

Anyway, then last night, or rather, about an hour ago.. Hmmm.. Oh no! I forgot the dream! =( Strange, I was remembering it just before I started typing all this.. Gaaar! Dreams are such fleeting memories!

I recall that in the days of ICQ, I used to relate my dreams to a select few. Back then, dreams were few and usually mild, mostly ridiculous and funny, the scariest always to do with my teeth :p I like to talk about dreams. I remember I had recurring dreams as a kid.. Here are some dreams I could still remember (somewhat), mostly suspect nightmare cases..

The dino outside the window
This is the most memorable one cos it happened a few times. I must be in kindergarten or early primary when I had this dream. When we visited Grams, the cousins would play kids' stuff in Aunt's room. Sometimes, we would play hide and seek or police and thief aka catching (oh this is fun, the whole block was our playground and it was most exciting to see your hunter stuck outside the lift as the lift doors closed!) when we were sick of the indoors.

The dream was set in Aunt's room with the cousins. I saw a dino walk past on the other side of the window and warned the others but no one believed me. Somehow, I became the only one left in the room. Cousins were gone, the adults were talking among themselves in the living room. I was crouching under the window so the dino couldn't see me. Actually the dino didn't look scary at all, not the T-Rex kind but the cartoon kind with big round eyes. And it was a mild shade of brown, not the dirty kind. But a dino is a dino to a kid! Esp when it kept walking past the window, looking into the room, with just me under the window. It was as if it was looking for me..

It wasn't too scary thinking of it now - guess we have different fears at different stages of life. And in fact, I think I wasn't too frightened in the dream, just.. worried. But I think fear and worry are siblings..

The voodoo
Can't remember much except that I was in urban civilisation, carrying some stuff and following an old woman who was a relative of someone, perhaps even myself, while my companions made a detour somewhere. Then as we entered a forest and walked near this huge hole - imagine an empty quarry - she signalled to a ladder on the left before JUMPING DOWN INTO THE HOLE!

I was completely stunned but when I peered down, there she was, crouching on the ground like a cat and just about to stand up. I was freaked out that she didn't die falling 20 storeys! But I climbed down the ladder anyway, which strangely took me about seven steps. Then my companions appeared from nowhere and - that's it, no-head-no-tail kind of weird dream..

The creepy old lady reminded me of long po in those Hong Kong horror movies =(

The terrifying
The night before I went to set my veneer, I had one of those dreams about my teeth. My teeth were crooked, crowded, even soft, then they broke, they shattered, they wobbled in their little gum holes, they became very small (I like them big), and all the time I could do nothing to set them straight and pretty!

Have been paranoid over teeth since I had my braces done.. Dr Siow was very amused when I told her, and she couldn't take it that I was very very vain about my teeth (I didn't tell her about the rest of me, heh) *.*

The disturbing
This has to be classified under "nightmares"! I couldn't decide if I should document it, since it is a bit um.. But I must get it off my chest! I didn't remember it the moment I woke but a few days later; something must have triggered some memory switch inside and I recalled the dream with a giant jolt and much revolt:

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I grew a dick =(

I - it's mf ok, mf the girl girl - became half man half woman in the nightmare =( And somehow - don't ask me why - it was an heavily erect phallus showing its presence through my work trousers ok.. Come to think of it, I don't own a pair of trousers like that lor.. Argh! It was totally bizarre la, I still looked like a girl outside but at times, I knew I had morphed into a boy..

Couldn't take it so I tried to rationalise this nightmare. I was reading Middlesex around that time, about a man brought up as a girl due to ambivalent/ambiguous genitals. Might have a bearing.. Then the pet word in ballroom lessons back then was "balls": imagine that the head is a bowling ball, and another is inside the tummy; when we dance, we need to keep the balls aligned and rolling all the time. Every time we felt that the movement wasn't too smooth, we would go "we're not moving our balls! The freaking balls!" (Btw I don't recall the - can't bring myself to say "my"! - dick being accompanied by balls *.*)

Thus, I convince myself, the nightmare happened.. Still! I'm so totally disgusted!