Friday, 9 September 2005

Reverse parenting

No matter what, parents worry - it's their nature. The least and the most we can do, is to make them worry less, cos they'll never stop worrying even when we ourselves become grandparents! Feed your parents a bit of info on, eg where you will be at 3am tomorrow, so they don't bug you with calls :p

(For parents: no point calling your kids every hour to check on their safety, whereabouts etc; you'll only irritate them no end. Even if you know, you'll worry anyway! Be content that they are even telling you where they are going.)

I had wanted to stop at para 2 but I was somehow reminded of my brother YQ.

The first time I went out with my classmates, it was 17 Oct 1992, the Sat after PSLE. The plan was picnic at Pasir Ris. But guess what? I could not go. CY's mum had to persuade Mother to let me go. Thanks to Auntie, I had a most enjoyable outing with a bunch of people whom I'm still in contact with.

CY and I went to different sec schools so we met up every fortnightly or so to go to the library, chit-chat etc. Rule: I must be back by 5pm. Towards late sec, I pushed it to 530pm. Once I was out for a BBQ session with my sec class and couldn't make it back by some freaking early time, something like 9pm. I was worried - can't remember/ don't know if it was because she might worry or she might scold me - and called back three times to say I would be back later, and later, and later. But YQ was the one who picked up the calls - she didn't and still doesn't like to pick up calls. When I finally got back at 11pm, the house was dark but I was freaking shocked when I saw an unmoving pair of eyes staring at me through the darkness - she was sitting at the sofa waiting for me to scold me!

YQ was able to go out with his friends earlier than me. I wasn't pleased of course and I complained. Must have gotten some crap answer. Now I'm no longer envious/ jealous of him. At least now she doesn't call me at 2am to ask where I am. But she calls YQ at ALL hours - even before midnight - to ask where he is and bark at him to come back.

I hated all that control on me last time. On retrospect, I feel that I was not given the freedom, the space to grow. I wasn't trusted. Now I see the same distrust, perhaps more, she has in my bro.

Recalling all this strengthen my resolve for independence. And for better parenting on my part in future. This entry serves to remind me to be mindful that times change and parenting methods should follow. Repressing your kids as a result of keeping your kids safe and preventing them from going astray is harmful to their personal development. But I don't advocate spoiling them; there must be an acceptable boundary.

Sounds like an angry post. Yes, still pissed cos it's almost freaking 8pm and I'm still here!

1 comment:

  1. cheah tse boon says: tfWah liew, Damn cheapskate leh u! Out of 6 harry potter Book..and u dun own a single one!??! and u believe personal style dun compromise professionalism? yah... if ur style is really those Match maker!*those aunties u see on TV with a big mOle on their cheek! then it definately won;t compromise! hahahah


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