Mindful giving

Talk about gifts..

Sito went to a Christmas party lat night and returned with lots of gifts from close friends. ZK now has more stuff waiting for him to appreciate!

But quite paiseh as we didn't think to prepare gifts for them. Maybe gifting is a Christian thing at Christmas but we thought we should prepare something in return at the next party this coming Saturday that we just got to know of.

Thing is, you should know my position on gifts right... And how to get something right for a specific occasion and with so little lead time?!

So I turned to the all-knowing google, searching for whole-family gifts. And I came across an article on mindful giving, which made me realise that there's something that I like to give people - things I make myself!

I used to bake a lot in Oxford and send those goodies around during cookouts. Less time for that in Singapore though.. The most recent major session was 2010 when I made more than a hundred cookies and packed them in individual pouches for everyone in the office - gripped by a baking craze.. I totally enjoyed that process - baking, packing, tying with pretty ribbons, handing them to my colleagues or leaving them on their desks.

I also like to give treats for birthdays - go out for a nice meal on me! The funniest one was when I made the reservation at Morton's in my name, saying that it was my husband's birthday, and the menu said "Happy Birthday, Mr Low!" Hoho!

As for non-food, I only remember the trophy for Na. It's just too difficult to make things!

So, next Saturday.. I may bake something on Friday but that will mean missing out on going out with Sito on his off day.. Maybe pick out nice flavours of cupcakes I wish I could make? :)

From my beloved

Woke from a nap today to find Sito gone. I couldn't reach him on the phone and when he called back, he sounded odd - went to Orchard by himself, not meeting anyone, hmmm...

And then he came home with a Samantha Thavasa!



My dear husband has gone shopping for my birthday present :) "No time to get otherwise.."

I was so tired from a cold and a whining ZK and so touched that I just broke down. (And ZK stopped whining when he heard me cry, um, strange..) He got me presents for almost every birthday while I didn't get him presents for almost every birthday *.*

Jiejie carried one of their bags last Sunday and I commented that I noticed them when I walked past it the previous day. But I recoiled when I heard the price range. "Ok, I don't need expensive bags!" Because I'm very kiam and very auntie.

I forgot about it afterwards but look at what I'm holding in my arms now! Mine came with a furry pong pong and a separate charm bearing my initial.

Sometimes, his attention to such details amazes me :)

Thank you, 老公! :) I shall go put back the button on your shirt now! Hoho!

Our adaptable little boy

Day 1 of infant care:
ZK looked like he wasn't sure what was going on. "What's this place? Why am I here?" When I fetched him at the end of the day, he was looking everywhere except at me :(

Day 2:
He was curious on arrival. When I went back for him, he looked at me, not smiling but ok.

Day 3:
He was still curious on arrival. In the evening, he saw me and smiled! :)

Day 4, today:
He was crying at home for no reason, refusing to lie down to change or sit down to eat Sophie. But when I placed him in the stroller, he looked at me as if he was expecting something. By the time I handed him over to the carer, he was looking happy and excited!

Fine, so our son is really like us - Sito doesn't remember crying in kindergarten while I know for sure that I was very happy going to school! While I feel a bit sian that he prefers school to home, I take comfort in knowing that he likes it there. 真的可以放心了！
:)

A great responsibility

Last Saturday, ZK dropped off and fell asleep after nursing, still grabbing tightly onto me and hence trapping me.



(I was fully clothed! The exposed white bit in my dress was my nursing bra..)

I looked at this little boy sleeping soundly so close to me, and felt a great responsibility towards him. I want to take good care of him so so much.

In the past, I thought news about kids meeting with some mishap are terribly sad. Now with ZK, I think they are very scary. I couldn't begin to imagine if anything bad were to happen to him. I really feel for the families of the kids killed in the recent shooting in Connecticut - life will never be the same again for them. I hope they will find peace with time...

Besides taking care of ZK, I think it's also important that Sito and I take good care of ourselves. That's also being responsible for ZK. So I went for a health screening this morning - first time in three years! Had some "fun" scooping poop this morning heh... Sito did his in August. We're also set for a visit to the dentist next week during his leave. And of course, I've taking care of myself in other ways too - massage, pedicure etc... :p

At first, before ZK started infant care, I was not sure if I could do all this, spending extended periods of time away from the area in case he needed me. So on ZK's first day at infant care on Monday, I was anxious about him, and about me running off to a massage. But now, with the third day coming to an end, I know that he is well taken care of.

Yesterday morning, the morning carer noticed a mark on a baby's chin when he was brought in. The father didn't know anything. Then in the evening, I was leaving when the mum came to pick up the same baby and the evening carer asked the mum about it - such continuity and attention! More importantly, the other babies there are all so happy and smiley - ZK is the only one who is always looking serious and not smiling *.* But well, he's still young; he'll learn :)

Routine for happy weekends!

We had a jolly good weekend last week!

It started with a nice morning view from our lift landing as ZK and I were on the way to the hawker centre..



We started this a few weeks before, to have something other than muesli for breakfast on Saturdays. This means that Sito gets some breakfast on weekends since he usually wakes late and skips breakfast totally, cos he likes what I get for him from the hawker centre - vegetarian beehoon, chee cheong fun, you tiao etc.. Last Saturday, it was you tiao. He had half of it while ZK and I were on our way to baby spa. (Yes, he got up that late!) We had the other half at night, somewhat overly toasted on the grill..

ZK fell asleep on the way so I sat around to wait a while and Sito caught up. After a happy and (for the parents) hungry time at the baby spa, we decided to have a buffet lunch at Shabuya! All that wagyu!! We ate so much of it, as well as pork belly and prawns... Yum yum.. And the udon was very tasty after being cooked in the same pot! But after a while, the texture changed, like it was going to melt! So Sito did this - udon onsen? :p



We couldn't have dinner that night. Shared a bowl of cup noodles over a movie instead..

And Papa and son were in the same colour that day! My fave boys :)



The next day started with ZK being cute while I was having breakfast:



The extended family had dim sum for lunch - we had the awesome char siew again, second time in eight days hoho! After walking around Star Vista, we had some Blackball. We were very full again but as there was less carbs than the day before, we got hungry later in the evening. So we had pizza delivered while we were watching Avatar on the TV :)

That day, we discovered the acrobatic side of ZK...



And while we're on the mat... I left him for a while the other day and returned to find him in perfect alignment with DD. It was too cute! But by the time I got my camera, he had shifted.. But just imagine the two round heads on the mat la :p



Anyway, seems that our weekend routine is working out nicely. Saturday, nice breakfast, then three of us go out for lunch and some activity or stroll etc in the afternoon, cook something small for dinner since we usually eat a lot for lunch. Sunday, lunch with the extended family and maybe baby spa if we don't go that Saturday, pack or order something for dinner. I guess when ZK gets a little bigger, we can do more things outside, like going to the zoo? :)

ZK's first day in infant care!

8.00 am

Here I am, outside the room where he's lying on a rocker in his IFC, feeling a little jittery as a first-time mum leaving her baby's side for an extended period of time.

I don't hear any cry from him, which is a relief. He wasn't smiling when I gave him a goodbye kiss; just his usual bewildered look.

He woke at 6.20 am today. I was up even earlier to pump as he was up for an hour from 4am :( Barely lay down again when he woke for good. Oh well, I could nurse him without having to balance the pump on the other side - just for this first day.

So I had breakfast and changed while he sat in his bassinet - more like a seat now. Mum arrived and I changed ZK and then we were ready to go!

Where are we going this early, Mama?



ZK was the first baby of the day and also the youngest in the IFC. I signed in at the IFC and was given an induction on what to do and expect when we arrive and leave each day. On arrival, I'll fill out a form on his file - last nap and feed and diaper change. At the end of the day, the form will be filled with the details of his day and I should read and sign to acknowledge. There's also a whiteboard with a table of all the babies and their daily details.

Saw ZK's cot in the bedroom - no floor bed in case kena stepped on by walking babies! Was advised to bring a blanket. And told that babies are put to sleep on their belly or side at the centre - go ahead man, but this boy will just flip as he wishes!

Handed over ZK's stuff after he was settled on the rocker. Found a recyclable bag in my bag and gave it to the carer to hold empty milk bottles cos I forgot to bring an extra plastic bag.

Stood around as a couple of babies came in. Stood around after that, didn't know what to do. Oh, I should go.. Gave him a little kiss and yup, here I am...

8.15 am

Just had a chat with the carer as she looked through the note I wrote. And then we heard him. She went in for him and brought him from the playroom to the bedroom. He's struggling to sleep now...

8.20 am

The carer came out of the bedroom - ZK is asleep! :)

8.21 am

Ok, he's crying :( And he stopped as I typed the previous sentence.

Should I continue to sit here... *.*

8.29 am

He had a poop. And still crying. Actually, screaming.

*.*

8.45 am

Sleeping.

Carer said attempts to put him in the cot failed! So he's on the floor now. But all other babies are playing now so he's safe from little feet!

9.00 am

Still sleeping. And not stirring!! :)

9.30 am

Just got home. Left when he woke at 9.10 am - short nap as usual. He had woken crying and rubbing his face so his face looked a little red when I saw him bring carried from the bedroom to the playroom. So poor thing :(

But he's a brave little boy. So Mama must be brave too! Have to settle this jittery feeling - the last time I felt like this, like going for exams, was when delivering ZK!

Now

ZK is asleep in his room now. The amazing thing was that I only had to go in once after putting him down when I had to go in some 10 times the past week or two!! I wonder why.. He has his pillow on his belly as usual. And like yesterday, I placed some cushions next to his right side to prevent him from flipping in his sleep and waking himself. Maybe he had more stimulation today and was tired? More adults, more babies, more decorated rooms..

So I went out for a massage and a facial after pumping in the morning. Exchanged a few text messages with Sito on the way, updating him about ZK and him reassuring me that he would be ok. When I said that I just realised how 我的两个最爱都不在我身边, he said a massage could help alleviate (that feeling) and he was absolutely right! That jittery feeling disappeared during my spa session, except for when I was talking about ZK during my facial.

Pumped once more before getting to the IFC at close to 6 pm. There were fewer babies around then and all of them and the carers were on the playmat in the common area. For some strange reason, I didn't spot ZK until I got up real close! Maybe he was wearing new clothes - all long sleeves and he had changed since the morning - or maybe he was wearing an unfamiliar bib or maybe I wasn't sure what I was looking for..

Anyway, I was glad that he seemed to have had a good day. Not cranky at all when I saw him - he was usually cranky at that hour! But guess what, this heartless boy didn't look in my direction at all! Not even when I put my face up close! :( It wasn't until we got home that he smiled at me when I sang 小白船 as part of his bedtime routine.

Conclusion: It was a great start! I only wish Sito could send ZK off on his first day with me... (He was sleeping!)

Managed to wash everything and cook and eat by 8.30 pm. Check out our drying rack full of his stuff from today!



Confession

Yup, I have a confession to make - I was looking forward to today when ZK would start going to IFC! I felt and feel very guilty about being happy to leave him in IFC and go for a spa session, among other things. Guess my punishment will arrive very soon - I'm going to be full-time working mother from January!! *.*

我的小XX

他是我的小饿饿。别家的小孩每三到四小时喝一次奶，我们家的小孩呢？有时每一两个小时都抓着我胸前的衣服不放，直到喝到他的milk milk！

他是我的小球球。出生的时候，好小哦，给他打嗝的时候，他总是背弯弯的坐在我怀里，圆圆一小粒。后来张肉了，脸圆了，可是还不会坐好，还是一粒稍大的小球球！

他是我的小汗汗。哭闹发汗，喝奶也发汗，弄得颈后，背后，甚至手脚都粘粘的。让他躺在怀里时，一定要有条汗巾隔着他喝颈项和我的手臂。

他是我的小好奇。最近，他对周遭的事物都比较敏感，常东张西望，或凝视着某样东西，就连白天喝奶的时候也定不下来。

他是我的小好玩、小开心，最爱我们跟他玩。抬高高啦，搔痒啦，唱歌跳舞啦，拍拍手和脚啦，甚至抱着他做仰卧起坐，都可以让他笑得合不上嘴！今天最后一场午睡后，他就特别开心，随便一个动作都能逗他发笑。

他是我的小翻身。自从学会了翻身，就连在睡梦中也翻个不停，有时候还把自己弄醒了。

他是我的小勇敢。有天风大，把房门给吹得砰的一声关上。我整颗心都快从嘴里跳出来了，可他只转头看了我一眼就继续观赏他可爱的小手。

他是我的小树熊。近两个月来，总要有人抱着，尤其是傍晚时分，象只树熊贴在妈妈身上。不过抱在胸前往外看时，他比较象个小袋鼠 :) 虽然他越来越中，这样抱着的感觉却是非常温暖的⋯⋯

他是我的小光头、小和尚、小蘑菇。又把头发给剪短了，这次比上次更象个小和尚。 少了那撮头发，头形特别明显，真的很象一颗小蘑菇！

他是我的小香香，全身（包括洗澡后的小屁屁！）都有小baby的味道，就连口气也是清香的，即使他从来没有刷过牙，漱过口。躺在他身边午睡一定睡得香香的⋯⋯

他是我的小臭臭，常爱边喝奶边拉屎，把他和我的衣服都弄脏了，还对我笑！有时早上醒来，便便弄得睡衣和床单脏兮兮的，他也可以毫不恶心的自我娱乐！“当然啦，舒服了嘛！”

他是我的小屁屁，因为他的屁屁真的很小，很可爱！

他是我的小虫虫，在地板上玩的时候总是扭来扭去，抱他的时候也常扭来扭去。小虫虫啊，你几时才会变成蝴蝶呢？:)

他是我的小丑怪。有时候总是摆出奇怪的表情，或扭曲着脸，还真的丑丑的！

他是我的小可爱。面无表情时，blur blur 的，可爱。笑的时候，当然可爱。扁嘴时，可爱。哭闹，有时可爱。有时丑丑的也很可爱！

他是我的小不睡觉。哎，这就不可爱了⋯⋯我只能说，妈妈加油吧！

他，是我的小宝贝。他，是我的小震铠 :)

Coordination OCD

Found another OCD! :p

I love boxes. Really, I do. I love organising stuff in boxes. But that's not enough. The boxes must be coordinated!

Went to a weaning workshop a few weeks ago and got a lot of baby food samples. Rearranged the cupboard a bit to accommodate baby food. As I went about it, I was pretty displeased with the wide range of plastic boxes in the cupboard.

Back in AMK, I had one set of Ikea boxes for my school stuff and another set for clothes. I dumped them when we moved here as we built enough storage space to just put those stuff directly on the shelves. When we first moved in here, I bought this particular range of boxes with lids for foodstuff. When ants got to our sugar, I added a second range of food boxes reluctantly. But nvm, so I have one for regular stuff and another for stuff requiring airtight storage.

Now, unfortunately, my boxes are no longer coordinated. They are of different ranges and of various colours! I tried to put similar ones together but it's not possible all the time. Every time I look at them or even think about it, I get a little jumpy. Tell me that's not OCD? :p

We inherited a number of storage boxes from Mum they all when they moved out. No choice as we have too much stuff and no time to go buy a whole set of the same. I needed more food boxes too but had no time to slowly find the right sizes before ZK arrived so I bought the cheap 17-piece set from Ikea. That meant adding yet another range to the already myriad selections. But I consoled myself that with 17 pieces, they were something I could put everywhere and be pleased with the consistent look and feel.

Then, I ran out of a certain size of the Ikea boxes. It's just stupid to go all the way to Ikea to buy a $4.50 set of boxes so I stooped so low as to get a free box from buying three packs of Vitagen *.* Needless to say, the box is quite lousy!

But! The other day, Mum wanted to go Ikea so I took the opportunity to get my boxes yeah!!! Now I have more boxes but I'm adding on to an existing range - I feel good haha! I think I'll slowly phase out the other food boxes apart from the airtight ones for the sugar and tea leaves etc. The Ikea boxes are cheap but they serve me very well. Two of them are on the drying rack now, almost ready to take over the sotong balls from their plastic bag :)

Even utensils. Found extra teaspoons in the tray when we moved back. Needless to say, they don't match our set. So I keep them in food boxes so that our sugar, tea leaves and Milo will always have their own dry spoons - useful and no eyesore! :)

Also want to refresh our towels. Now we're using all sorts of funny towels, some looking like they're 10-years-old! We even have random furniture like the two uncoordinated sofas and a little cabinet of the wrong colour. The extra bed matches our stuff though, even though it's taking up precious space now and I may not let ZK use it next time as I found mould on it last weekend; may have to axe it if the mould returns..

Of course, I can choose to dump everything and have things my way but I have no time, and it's just a waste to throw away things that aren't broken - ya, very auntie, that last bit... I figure that I can have my way when we next move house, which will happen eventually as our family grows. I can have a new space to recreate a home that's 100% ours with coordinated pieces. Hence I shall keep my OCD in check and invest my jumpiness into putting up a list of things for our next home :)

12-12-12!

It's 12 Dec 2012 today - 12-12-12! And ZK turns five months woohoo! And and and, he'll be a real payday baby when I start getting paid next month!

Yesterday he took a long morning nap on his belly. He seems to be able to nap longer when he's not on his back. This is his other preferred position - the Peugeot man position. Well, the real deal is a lion - does his hair count for a mane?? :p



When I posted this photo on Facebook this morning, I thought it was fun - 小牛趴在草地上 right? But my friends saw his amazing hair instead! No, we didn't do anything special except pass him our genes *.*



I like this - he's like some poster boy with that smile!



For a while, he was blowing saliva...



"See, I can support myself with only two fingers!"



Random food picture - pork belly char siew from Canton Paradise last Saturday!!



We enticed ZK with some carrot cake. But he couldn't be bothered to even look at it. But the next day, I was hungry and he looked hungry so I gave him a plain cracker from my pack, and he grabbed it! He started gumming it but didn't really eat it...



"Where's my cracker? Oh nvm, there's still my shirt..."



When I put the little pieces on my palm for him to grab, he simply grabbed my whole hand towards his mouth!



Two days later, I put a broccoli floret on his food tray while I was having my breakfast. He barely looked at it. I had to draw his attention to it. Then he stuffed it into his mouth and broke the stem - cos I cooked it for too long!



I suddenly remembered he should need a bib so I put one on and encourage him to go for the broccoli again. No luck.



I put a plain cracker next to the broccoli to test him. No luck too. Maybe he wasn't hungry..

Anyway, today I discovered how he could fall off his bed and not land on the blanket - he was playing with the orange "pillar" after waking up but still half asleep! At one point, his head went on to the other side..



When he woke, he took to the mirror and had some fun admiring himself. I just love to see his little hands grabbing things :)



"ALL MINE!"



And then the hairdresser next door shaved his head... I didn't want to shave his head!! I just wanted his hair shorter, and I also asked for the middle portion to be longer, like a mohawk. My heart sank when she made the first shave on the side of his head - so short?! When she changed the head for the centre, I thought ok, longer.. But on the first shave, I realised that she was hopeless! She turned ZK into a monk!!

:(

His hair is now shorter than the last time..

:(

He doesn't have a cool hairstyle now..

:(

I consoled myself by taking photos of his swirl (and bald patch) when we were at HortPark to pacify him as he was wailing in the car after suffering the haircut. And his head is like a little mushroom!



He eventually fell asleep on the way home. The car seat is still sitting on our floor..



Random picture again. Took this on Sunday morning on the way back after a walk with ZK. Meow :)

Babies vs. pets

At lunch some months ago, a waitress told us that it would be easier to treat kids as pets. I was like "huh" back then but after these few months, gee, wasn't she right!

Pets have basic needs like eat, play and sleep. So do babies.

Pets don't talk. Babies at ZK's age don't talk too.

You train a dog to poo on newspapers, to sit, to do all sorts of tricks. Similarly, you train a baby to do all those things!

If babies are like pets, then I guess pets could be like babies too. Is that why some people prefer to keep a dog or two instead of having kids?

And if we extend the definition of pets a little wildly, then I guess we have a pet and hence a second baby in this house..



!!!

Whenever Sito goes away for a few days, this is what he would say when he sees ZK: He has grown!

I could say the same for the gecko *.*

Going on five months

ZK is 7.45kg today at almost five months!

Growth has slowed down. I could feel it too - my shoulder and back are not aching any more than last month hoho!

He's a brave little boy yet again, crying for only a few seconds after each vaccine - had the pneumococcus ($180!) and the 6-in-1 ($155!) today to save the six-month Hep B trip.

I have some photos pending upload but a quick note on his latest development - he arched back to his left these two days. Maybe he wants to flip to his left too? Akan datang..

Two days ago, he suddenly squeezed his milk milk factory while nursing and continued for quite a while. Since then, he's been doing it on and off. Has he learnt that that makes the flow faster? More likely the following..

He used to hang on for dear life while nursing, usually grabbing the middle of my blouse or bra. But these days, he seems to think that the other milk milk factory provides a better grip!!! :( He has also taken to pinching me on my arms and face and wherever he lands his little hands on. I think he's strengthening his palmar grasp and perhaps even practising his pincer grip!

Which brings me to weaning - the PD said we could give him solids at five months! How exciting! :) But as LS reminded me, it's going to be messy too. But once he goes to infant care from 17 December, I'll only be feeding on weekends, WHEN SITO IS AROUND - guess who's going to clean up? :p

Going to draw up a little menu for the little one now :)

Mystery solved

For the past couple of nights, I kept wondering why I found ZK on his belly about one head's length above his usual spot when he cried out in the middle of the night. Just now when I went in to check on him, I finally understood - this little boy has been inching upwards by pushing on his bed with his legs! That way, he frees his body from the sleep positioner and flips easily!

Trying to - and succeeding in! - outsmarting Mama!!

Mama retaliates meekly by pushing his blanket cushion up as well....

Clothes and the like

After finally finishing Jumong (and feeling a little sad like at the end of a good novel) last Tuesday, I started trying out my pre-pregnancy clothes to see how much shopping I would need before starting work.

I started with the bottoms. All my skirts still wrap nicely around my butt :) In fact, I think I fit better in them now! Somehow the meat around my waist has redistributed itself - I have a smaller lower abdomen now although the part just under my chest has gone bigger. But this means my skirts no longer slide up, not immediately anyway. Let's see what happens when I really wear them for the whole day..

I used to wear one pair of black pants regularly. That was very fitted to begin with. Now, I can't really move comfortably in it even though I can wear it. But I'm keeping it as my skinny pants :p I can still wear my black party pants but well, those are party pants, not for work.. And of course, the red pants still fit; I bought them in Oxford when I was bigger! But looking at it now, I really do think I have some questionable taste back then *.* Anyway, be keeping it for strange costume parties.. My suit pants are in ZK's room so I haven't tried it but I think it should be fine as it was looser than my black pants.

Next, the tops. I could wear all but the most fitted ones as my chest has widened due to pregnancy. I almost couldn't get myself out of this lovely green top - while Sito was abroad! - which is now in the recycling bag. I realised I have very few tops now. I have fewer tops than skirts! Brought a number to Evanston and threw them away before coming back. But it's ok as I have a lot of dresses, most of which I can still wear.

And not forgetting the smalls.. I didn't bother trying the bottoms since I've been wearing pre-pregnancy ones all along - the versatility of low-cut panties! But as I mentioned, my chest is now wider, which means the clasps of all my old bras no longer meet! But I've grown into the cups finally, haha! So yup, I can keep wearing them if I get a few bra extenders. Not pretty but who is going to see?!

Just now, I decided to go for the greatest litmus test of all - denim. I had conveniently ignored that last drawer in my wardrobe but well, there's no running it if I were to be complete in trying out everything.. And guess what? I can wear everything yay! In fact, I now fit better into my skinny jeans! After the jamu massage which drained my swollen feet, even my calves have slimmed down. They also feel softer than before. Sito and I came to the conclusion that I'd always had water retention in my legs - what we thought were useless calf muscles (cos I can't run for my life) turned out to be swollen tissue *.*

Digression: In 2007, a shoe seller at an open market in Paris told me I needed to cut off "this much" (gesture with fingers) of my calves to wear his boots! Bah!

I'm very very lucky and grateful that I didn't change too much (except for the better!) after having ZK. Much as I would love to refresh my entire wardrobe, it's too expensive and too depressing to have to do that!

Anyway.. So, verdict? I don't need to do any shopping!

But! But but but, just counting my tops, I think I have fewer clothes than ZK... Really? The baby has more clothes than the mama?! Fine, so I don't poop all the way up my back and out the legs on a daily or twice-daily basis but still, really?? I think I want to shop!

So here's my shopping list:

1) A few tops good for both work and play
2) A pair of black pants - always good to have one
3) A pair of black kitten heels, a pair of HIGH heels :)

And for completeness of a real shopping list even though it's got nothing to do with clothes, iPhone 5 :) After all, I'm kiasu enough to have already bought a cover with complimentary screen protectors! :p

凉风的回忆

昨天早上给震铠换尿片的时候，背后吹来一阵凉风。这样的凉风每每来袭，让我仿佛回到了多年前在外婆家过夜，早上醒来的时候。不知道为什么，外婆家早上就是这么凉快。餐桌上的早餐却依然热乎乎的，是外婆或阿姨一早就出去买的菜头粿，黑的，带点儿辣。

从小一直到外婆去世前，我们隔个周日都会到外婆家相聚，大人们谈天，而我们一群堂表兄弟姐妹则闹得不亦乐乎。爱到外婆家，就是因为可以和大家玩在一块儿。在外婆家过夜却不是常有的事，所以我都很珍惜。每次过夜都是在周六，第二天等着其他人的到来。

这样的过夜，我最初的记忆应该是小学的时候，就和自家人一起。而最后那次，我清楚的记得是2003年我毕了业但还没开工的时候，和燕一起霸占了阿姨的床。

燕和我都分别在外婆家长住过一段日子。燕好象是因为考试。我是因为可怜的鼻子无法忍受组屋翻新时的灰尘。重温一下我们和外婆的一段话，很可爱的 :)

现在外婆不在了，比较少很大家相聚，燕也嫁到英国去了。但有时我还会想起她慈祥的脸，想起她松弛又可爱的脸颊。从前听过阿姨说他们小时候的事，知道外婆是个好妈妈。我从小就看到奶奶如何对待我妈，但外婆就不是恶婆婆，单看她的四个媳妇如何待她就知道了。

她对十几个孙子女们的关心是含蓄的，虽然不明显、看不到，但在日常生活里都可以感受得到，例如她常叫我们多吃或问我们要“bee lok”吗 － 是美禄啦 :) 还记得“A”水准会考时，我风雨不改地去外婆家，带着课本去温书，她就静静地坐在我旁边看我读书。她甚至记得我的奖学金服务还有多久才结束。当年在社青体部工作时，我有时会在午餐时间过去找她，之间虽然话不多，但感觉很舒服。

今天下午下了场大雨，现在也吹着凉风。虽是不一样的凉风，但我也很感谢它吹来了这尘封已久的回忆⋯⋯

Happy weekend! :)

And it started with this in the middle of Friday night:



I was so shocked to find him sleeping soundly on his belly. But he was breathing well with his head tilted to the side. I wanted to turn him over but before that, I had to make sure his pacifier was within reach in case he cried. It took me a while to find it in the dark - I thought it had fallen somewhere on his bed but he was still holding it! So cute I had to take a picture :p

And check out that cute little butt, so fat with his diaper :p

He woke quite happy on Saturday morning. I put him on the play mat while I washed up. And I found him rolled onto the floor right next to the mat when I got back! By the time I took this picture, he had flipped again! So fast, you little fat butt baby :)



Sito helped with the laundry :) before we headed out for the baby spa. ZK started out happy but started to fuss after five minutes so we gave him a sitting float instead of the usual head float. He liked it! He was able to use his hands, suck his fingers or bring the balls to his mouth! But he became lazy - didn't kick much that day. Oh well, at least he was happy!



Sito decided that we should do something this weekend, something we used to do. So we went to Kinokuniya after the baby spa. Here's an induction for ZK to the world of manga!




“我象蜡笔小新？”



And the Taka Xmas tree! We like it! Apparently, ZK liked it so much that he decided to look at it rather than the camera..



We walked the food hall for a while and grabbed some tako balls before going home. For some reason, neither of us was hungry and so we had dinner quite late - cooked some instant noodles :) We ended the day with a movie Brave and some ice cream. Happy!

Last night, ZK turned onto his belly to sleep again. This time, I thought he seemed happy sleeping on his belly so I slept next to him for a while instead of turning him around. When I saw that he was able - very able - to lift his head to change positions even while half asleep, I was relieved and left him alone. He was sleeping at the edge but I figured that even if he fell, he would be cushioned.

Nonetheless, I was glad that he didn't fall. When he woke to nurse, I took the opportunity to turn him back onto his Babysafe sleep positioner pillow - almost forgot about that! - so that he wouldn't be able to flip again. Well, I was only half right. I now know that he usually automatically flips while asleep. He may or may not wake himself up with the flip, which is why sometimes I don't know that he has flipped. If he's asleep, it seems that he is not able to flip out of the sleep positioner. But if he's awake, he can definitely flip over the sleep positioner - he did that this morning when he woke. Well, better than nothing!

And today, we did the usual - lunch at Mum's place and dinner at home. Sito went jogging while I was napping with ZK and came back with yummy cai fan for me - he knows what I like :)

Now he's doing some work while I blog. Guess we should both turn in soon - I've got to wake a few times tonight and he has work tomorrow! Let me just share a few more pictures from the past week or so..

We tried bathing ZK in a bigger bath tub last weekend - epic fail. He couldn't sit well by himself and I couldn't hold him well on the floor of the bathroom. This was just "rehearsal" in the afternoon..



ZK trying to wake Papa when I put him on our bed :p



"What are these? They're new!"



ZK's booster seat arrived on Monday and I have let him sit in it a few times to watch me eat. The first time was a bad timing - he was fussy. But the second time was great. He couldn't sit up very well yet but he seemed to be having fun!

Funny look - I love it!



And his cute look! My little boy :)



And a random thing - I was doing 骨诊 this afternoon for my numb big toe (apparently some 经络 problem) and bad right shoulder when I saw this hanging on the wall:



Doc: Oh ya, after this I shall practise 九阴真经！

Haha!!

Baby off the bed!

When I heard a familiar ringing, I thought "wtf" and dashed into ZK's bedroom.

NO BABY IN BED!

The night light showed a little black pile next to the bed. I turned on the light and found my baby lying on my blanket with his legs on the floor, looking a bit dazed. I picked him up and put him back to sleep...

So glad I put my thick blanket on his play gym which has a bell on it right next to him!

What happened was that yesterday morning, he woke and started coo-ing. I let him coo until he gave an unfamiliar sound. When I went into his room, I found him on his arms and tummy - he had flipped right from his back! His arms were nicely in front of him, not stuck. Well done! :)

Then last night, shortly after I left him asleep, he cried out. I went in and again found him on his arms and tummy. And it dawned on me that if he flipped to his right again, he would land on the floor!

Yes, he's sleeping on a floor bed but it still presents a good six-inch drop. I dropped off once to try and it hurt *.*

So I made a cushion for him with the play gym and blanket. The arch of the play gym could break his fall as well and the bell will serve as an alert.

This morning, he flipped on the play mat while I was in the toilet and flipped again back onto his back. He also flipped on my bed in the afternoon - that's more difficult as the bed is soft; he tried a few times.

Just now, he cried out once after I left him asleep, and I went in to find him flipped on his bed. The second time, he must have been half asleep when he flipped twice onto the cushion - not a sound from him!

Got to be a lot more vigilant now that I know he can do this without crying out. Good luck to us!

Wall decals for baby

You know how the TV always shows parents-to-be setting up the nursery, all cute and baby blue/pink? Well, we never did. But now, ZK's room finally looks cute!



For someone who doesn't like to deface her walls, I actually put up these wall decals this weekend! Well, I take comfort in that they're supposed to be removable...

Songs of the day

So CY and I went for K Lunch today - it's her birthday tomorrow yeah!! :)

We love to sing since we were kids and it's always fun singing together. We sang our favourite singles and also the fun combi of 我想飞 by FIR followed by 有话直说 by 动力火车 cos these two songs are kind of similar, not to mention being absolutely fun to stand and dance and sing! :) The last time we sang together was in November 2010!!

Today, I felt very emo as I sang and listened to CY sing certain songs. Just want to record my feelings and share the good songs here..

This was the first song I sang today - 七里香 by 周杰伦:



I love the lyrics!

Also sang 诱惑的街 by 林忆莲:



This is an old song but it remains one of my favourites. I don't know why - I like sad songs??

But happy songs are fun to sing! Like 在树上唱歌 by 郭静:



“不想对每件事情都那么严格，弄得全世界好像只剩挫折，爱一朵花不猜它能开多久，放宽了心情把什么都变美了”
“想要光着脚丫在树上唱歌，好多事物全被缩小了”
“大树上还很空，你要不要陪我”

I like that it's so positive :)

This is the theme song to the MediaCorp production, Little Nyonya - 如燕 by Olivia:



The lyrics are so beautiful! They're written by 陈佳明 who also composed the tune. I think he has written lots of songs for MediaCorp dramas since the 1980s.

MediaCorp had an anniversary show last Sunday which we missed but CY said it was quite good. I remember hearing many familiar tunes on the radio that week too - very good songs that were written for the dramas. Think these days, only the big productions get theme songs written for them.

I just told Sito how I felt about these songs and showed him the lyrics and sang him a song.

mf: If I blush, you can describe me like “你的脸颊像田里熟透的蕃茄” ^.^
Sito: Tomato?!
mf: *.*

mf: Isn't this beautiful??
Sito: Yes but what has a bird flying in the sky got to do with baba?!
mf: *.*

Nvm, I have a practical husband so that I can live in a beautiful dream world whenever I go into a karaoke room!

Liberated but anxious

Today, I had some time away from ZK. Not for Pilates but for fun. Not for 2-3 hours but for over four hours!

I felt very liberated, honestly. I wore a tunic over leggings - totally not breastfeeding friendly. I wore pumps, not slippers. I didn't tie my hair; I even flat-ironed my hair last night.

But an hour and a half later, I felt anxious. I hadn't felt like that after the first couple of times I left ZK's side. I think it's because while I was 100% engaged during Pilates, I was able to let my thoughts drift to ZK during the K Lunch session today, especially when I kept looking at my phone with ZK's photo as a wallpaper.

When ZK refused the bottle (again!), Sito called and we changed the teat again. After that, I got even more anxious. Suddenly I felt myself singing more out of tune *.*

It was great going out as mf and not just ZK's mama but I've never been so anxious for my bus to reach home! (Except when I had a bad tummy ache :p)

ZK was sleeping when I got back. He seemed perfectly fine. I think I'm going to be the one suffering separation anxiety when he goes to infant care, sighs.. But I guess I should feel happy since I can deal with that while he may not be able to. Good that he's going to centre care at a young age, before he becomes too negatively (yes, there's such a thing!) attached to mama.

Little thought..

Just watched a movie on the laptop together. Towards the end of the movie, a very familiar feeling came to me - I suddenly felt as if we were back in 2010 before Kellogg, as if there was no ZK next door. We can do this more often :)

When the movie ended, I went in to check on him like I always do before I sleep. Our precious is sleeping soundly. Won't trade him for anything :)

Time to sleep some before he wakes hungry!

When the going gets tough, be happy!

Sometimes it seems that I'm the only happy person in this household. The little one cries, obviously. The adult version, however, has also not been happy these days.

I should be glad it's not me or ZK. But I feel sian that work always enters our life in the least desirable way. Hey, the S hook on the gate is meant for us to hang up our work before entering the house! :p

I think we take vastly different approaches to work. To me, work is just a means to an end, which is to support ourselves. Like I mentioned before, I work to live, not the other way round. But he doesn't think that way. He doesn't live just to work of course but he doesn't work just to live either. So when the work is bad, it affects him and then me, hence my ranting.

I feel helpless as there's nothing I can do. Google tells me I'm not alone but that doesn't help. The only thing I can do is to choose to be happy, like what I preach. It's not pretending. The truth is while there are unhappy things, there are also many things in our life to be happy about and I'll focus on the latter.

That said, it doesn't mean I'm going to ignore my husband! I just hope that simply being there is of some comfort, even if I can't do anything more. And that my positivity can rub off somehow...

Here's to happier weekends!

Three cheers for ZK!

It's a pretty warm day - great for ZK's laundry! Cos his clothes are tiny, they don't fill up the washer or dryer. The washer has a short wash function perfect for his load but the dryer goes by time. So I tend to air dry his clothes unless it's raining or I have accumulated too much.

A few loads ago, I even threw some new finger puppets into the machine - so cute :)



But they are nothing compared to ZK - check out his schoolboy charm! This new onesie looks like a school uniform. Just need some dark blue shorts..



That morning, he gave Papa his birthday present one day early - while lying next to him, he flipped! I was doing laundry so I didn't catch it but Sito said he was on his left looking up at him one moment, and face down the next! When I got in, his left arm was still stuck under him - Papa released it for the picture.



He was half smiling instead of frowning as he usually would when placed on his tummy so I guess he was happy to have flipped! But I guess it was an accident - the bed was soft and slanting towards Sito cos of the weight, which made it much easier for ZK to just roll over. Nonetheless, he must have made a great effort as well to go from turn to flip - applause!! :)

That evening, we had dinner at Jumbo to celebrate Sito's birthday so that we could stay in on Sunday :) We brought his car seat to the restaurant and he played in it for a few short blissful minutes while we ate. His jumpsuit or whatever you call that is still a little too big for him...



Ah-Ye carrying him right across from me - perfect time to take a photo of his bald spot under his swirl! :p



Oh, his cradle cap is all gone now. The last I saw of it was maybe a couple of weeks ago - just some small white flakes. I stopped rubbing it with oil for some time. So it's true - cradle cap does go away on its own around this time!

After lunch the next day, papa and son had some fun and laughter over a simple sit-up - ya, don't ask me why but that tickles ZK a lot!



Time for a proper family shot! Think the last time was at his first month! But, what was that expression?!



Went to the baby spa after that. ZK has potential - already going after a pretty jiejie in the big pool!



A reflection of the four similar-sized babies in the big pool - ZK was smiling happily!



With his grandparents at Harbourfront - he looks quite stoned after a good workout!



“你是在拍我吗？”



Took a series of pictures of him yesterday. I'm a cow so he's my little calf :)

Shocked look...



"Bluff you la.. I'm happy!"



"Ahhh!"



"Got you again, Mama!" :)



He can hold himself better in the Bumbo, good enough to hold and eat lick play with his toy, Jigajung - actually its name is Sir Prance-a-lot but honestly, the horse is a lot more visible - and tastier! - than the rider!



He fell asleep on the way home after my lunch. Must be a comfortable ride :)



I knew he would wake up in the lift - noisy lift voice! - so I took a walk around our neighbourhood. This was taken at a little rest area. I always like to see clothes hanging out. I find it very Singapore and I like it :)



He woke while I was having a bah kwa snack, looking grumpy..

"Of course I'm grumpy! I was so bored that I fell asleep, and now that I'm up, I'm still here?!!"



That day, he also found his toes - he licked one! He used to just lift his legs but now he would use his hands to pull his feet towards his face. He must be trying to do that all the time - in the past week, he has been doing that just before bedtime. I had to use my body to pin his legs down while using my hands to pin down his! That leaves me with no more hand to replace the pacifier and pat him on his chest.. It's quite a gymnastic workout *.*

A couple of days ago, I gave him some tummy time. It had been quite a long time since I did that and what a pleasant surprise I got - he is very strong now and lasts longer on his tummy before complaining!



Today, I placed him on his tummy again, and he looked straight up at me! :)



And the next thing I knew, he flipped! I called Sito in - he was working from home before a meeting nearby - and he encouraged him to flip again and he did! Even though he was starting to get tired of tummy time. Caught it on video :)



I read that it's easier for babies to flip from belly to back than the other way cos they can push off with their hands. But it seems that ZK used his legs - perhaps the weight helped? Haha! Papa and Mama are very proud of him :)

Now ZK is napping. He roused a few times but he's in his second hour now. Let's see how long he can nap today...